Okay people…this was a great episode, right? There was funny dialogue, hot chemistry, some really strong emotion, a creepy amusement park and a reveal that I did not see coming at all. What’s not to like? Besides Cassie, I mean. #JustKidding #SortOf #NotReally

Blackwell’s plan is really starting to come together. The circle is close to tracking down the last two crystals, and now Blackwell has found a way to cement the group’s collective desire to destroy the witch hunters: Jane’s death. Blackwell has turned into a one-man Hollywood PR team, spinning the situation to his advantage by blaming it on Eben and friends. I mean, it’s not like Charles is going to be volunteering the truth anytime soon, right? He may not have planned it, but this is a pretty flawless way to get the child army on board the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Witch Hunter Death Pact. (I saw a couple of you mention in the comments last week that the crystal skull thing is from the books and therefore totally unassociated with the Indiana Jones franchise, but I prefer to ignore that for the sake of the jokes).

I loved Faye’s comment to Jake that Jane’s wake was full of sad, fragile old people. She is a delight. Faye for president! Speaking of sad, fragile old people, here come some now:

Blackwell seems to get slimier and slimier with each passing week. However, he is still very convincing with the kids, so it’s totally believable that they’d be sucked in. But put him in a room with Dawn or Charles and suddenly it’s hello Alpha-male dickhead. Dawn, the one who seemed so evil at the beginning of the season, is so obviously enamored by John – I keep waiting for her to show up at his motel wearing a saran wrap dress or a whipped cream bikini. And by the way, they definitely did hook up and try to make babies back in the day, but they weren’t able to. OMG, I so want to see a flashback of Dawn’s time as a sixteen-year-old witch with fertility problems. That is kind of hilarious.

Charles on the other hand, is tragic and awesome. And has somehow managed to become one of the most sympathetic characters despite having the highest body count of anyone else on the show. That is the Gale Harold Effect at work, my friends. How incredible were his scenes with Diana and Blackwell? I really loved the way that they played the entire thing with Diana – his pain was so real, and then his immediate assurances about his love and commitment to her were heartbreaking and great. Murders? What murders? Charles for president!

A brief sidebar before we go any further – have we all noticed how extra Brian Kinney-fied Gale Harold has been looking lately? J’approve. J’approve so much. Gale (Mr. Harold if you’re nasty) is aging like a two-year old McDonald’s hamburger, which is to say not at all. But whereas the burger’s refusal to deteriorate is terrifying, his frozen-in-time self is seriously impressive. I tip my imaginary hat to you sir.

Let’s talk about various pairings, shall we? Cassie’s momentary lapse at Jane’s wake caused her to throw caution to the wind and go in for a kiss with Adam in her room. The best thing that I can say about this is that at least now their kisses are supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable. Luckily for Adam (who was so not into it), the kiss fell victim to Dadus Interruptus:

Look how relieved he is! Aw, Adam – the bad lady will never touch you again, I promise (c’mon writers, cut the kid a break).

On the opposite side of the hotness scale, Faye and Jake – LOVE. I am so into the fact that their thing is this mutually casual random hookup situation that isn’t turning into a Big Romance. Or Love Triangle. The CW loves its triangles, doesn’t it? I hope this relationship manages to avoid that for as long as possible because they are just so fun together. And so fucking hot:

Another pairing that kind of kicked off last week and has quickly turned into one of my favorite things is Adam and Melissa. I don’t even need them to hook up – I just love them together, in the same room, alone. Seriously, the best thing that this show has done so far is putting an end to Adam’s Cassie obsession. He is so, so much more interesting and entertaining now that he does things like laugh, day drink and perform magic tricks with coins. And Melissa just brings out all of the best things about him because, like I’ve said before, she is the Caroline to his Stefan. Adam and Melissa for president!

I really, really love how things are being set up to pit Cassie and Diana, ‘the dark magic super twins’ (did I mention that Faye is delightful?), against each other in the big climax of the season. Diana’s heart to heart with her dad really cemented their bond and he also reaffirmed his stance that Blackwell is the witch equivalent of the nice man in the park with the van who wants to give you candy in exchange for helping him find his lost puppy. For now, I kind of believe him. And so does Diana. She’s not willing to kowtow to Cassie’s unwarranted and self-appointed position as Queen Witch, and she’s going to encourage the rest of the circle to follow suit. What happens when two Dark Magic Vaginas go up against one another? (I just realized that this sounds like a scissoring joke – not the intention, but I’ll take it!). This is gonna get GOOD you guys, I can feel it. Speaking of Diana, I really, really love her house:

Sooooo pretty. #HousePornBreak

The amusement park stuff was fantastic. Like the mine last week, it set just the right mood, and actually managed to be pretty terrifying. And that reveal of the dead witch hunters? AMAZING. I did think that the lead-up to this scene was a bit clunky and if I had a complaint about the episode, it would be this. It didn’t really make a lot of sense that they felt the need to contact Isaac (RIP) and meet up with that other dude (can’t remember his name, not looking it up) when they could have just used their magic crystal-finding map in the first place. I get why the meeting happened (so we could learn some of the goings on in Eben’s world), but the setup was kind of bogus.

And okay…that twist! Has everyone else been operating under the assumption that the traitor would turn out to be Ethan? Even if you haven’t, surely you didn’t suspect that is was NICK! Given my knowledge of how death works on these kinds of shows (there’s not a death that can’t be undone with a bit of mythology), I really shouldn’t have been so shocked, but I WAS. He’s been gone for so long I almost forgot about him completely. But then there he was, or at least that’s what they tell me because I didn’t recognize him at all. Compare:

Does that look like the same person to you? I assume it is, but I seriously would not have known if they didn’t say his name. If I’m being honest, that second pic looks a lot like the ‘put the lotion in the basket’ chick from Silence of the Lambs to me.

This changes a lot of things and raises a lot of questions. How is he back? Is he alive? Is he a zombie? A ghost? Is he really the traitor or is this a red herring? Does he remember what happened to him? Will he tell everyone that Charles killed him? What does it mean for him and Melissa? For Jake? Is he back permanently or will they have to kill him because he keeps trying to eat their brains? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Okay, you guys. It’s your turn to talk – what did you think?? Did you love it? Were you surprised? Who do you believe right now? Did you cry tears of boredom when Cassie kissed Adam? How badly do you wish you could use a cloaking spell (I bet ladies who read 50 Shades of Grey on the train wish they could!) Predictions? Theories? Hit the comments!

Here is the promo for next week (the episode is called ‘Prom’ – I guess these guys only attend school when there’s a dance). Warning – it is pretty spoilery, so watch at your own risk.

Gifs courtesy of http://twiceisapattern.tumblr.com/