You guys, it’s the finale–I don’t even have any pre-game in me, there’s so much to cover. So let’s just jump right in, shall we?
Come on, supernatural creatures. Don’t you have anywhere better to meet up than at the setup for a high school graduation? Like, I don’t know, a bar? A cellar? A … where else do they go in Mystic Falls? Also … why is the mic just turned on, and why does Kol need a mic to talk to like … twenty four people, not all of whom even showed up? But you know, this is just the first of many, many … MANY questions I’ll have during this episode, and these rank fairly minor, so let’s just … not, shall we?
Oh my god, Lexi and drunk Stefan dance party to Bon Jovi! Yaaaaay! Well, Stefan’s more doing The White Man’s Overbite on the couch, but I think it counts, because it looks super fun and Stefan is finally the fun one and Damon is the worried one, which proves once and for all that Elena’s type is just whoever sucks the most at a given moment. And good god, Stefan killed me with the hero hair line, which of course is the title. Such a Damon line, actually, but expertly delivered. Snark looks good on you, Stefan!
Do you guys think Bonnie’s body is starting to stink yet? Jeremy started to stink. Just saying.
Speaking of Jeremy, I LOVED the scene with Jeremy, Alaric, and Elena eating sandwiches and giving each other shit. And everyone was so happy! We don’t get a whole whole lot of that on this show, so when we do, it’s fun and nice. And then Elena, of course, gets teary-eyed and buzzkills the whole scene, as usual. And then she beat the dead horse that she just buzzkilled by talking about her fucking feelings. So much eye roll.
I’m not real sure how much I’m going to discuss the vampire hunters, at least in the beginning parts. They were pretty much just hanging out and fucking shit up, and that’s about all that needs to be said about it for now. Except for the fact that Rebekah’s caveman boyfriend’s hair was hilarious, and also? Do you guys remember how last week I made an Encino Man joke? I, NO SHIT, saw an Encino Man thing happening on the streets of downtown St. Petersburg. It was probably just some recreationally homeless hipster, but he had the gross Encino Man hair, and he was like a little skinny fat and walking around with no shirt on, only plaid shorts and shower shoes, and he paced the street I was on like four times, and the only noteworthy thing he did, besides completely entertain me with his whole persona, was pause to pull a cigarette butt out of an ashtray on a sidewalk table and try to smoke it. Hee! I felt like it was the universe’s little gift to me. Read the rest of this entry »
