I am telling you, they could change the name of this show from True Blood to Hangin’ With Reverend Steve and I would be all about that, because Steve Newlin is the literal best. Look at that dancing gay vampire American in a Cosby sweater go! Do they give Emmys for the Greatest Contribution to the World of GIFs? Because if they do, Michael McMillian for ALL OF THEM!!!
Well, shit. Last week when VampTara went after Sookie like a mofo, I just assumed that it was Tara being Tara, workin’ out some (justified) rage issues in the most dramatic fashion possible. But then some commenters suggested that we had a Pet Semetery ‘she didn’t come back right’ situation on our hands, due to the fact that her brain had been blown apart before she died. And they may be right, because when Pam locked her in the house, Tara turned into a bull in a china shop…if that bull was also rabid AND high on cocaine.
For most of the episode she was basically acting like one of those people who spends their entire lives living with wolves in the wilderness and then suddenly have to interact with people. You know how people are just constantly emerging from the woods after spending 25 years foraging for berries and not speaking? Basically, she was like if Nell were a vampire (this might literally be the only thing that could have made that movie interesting, btw. Although, the ‘taayyyy inna wiiiin’ references will never get old for me. NEVER). How many of you were screaming at your tvs when Lafayette had that stake poised above her heart during a rare moment of calm? All of you? Even I was kinda just like ‘yeah, do it’ and I like Tara. Because bitch seemed cray, am i right? I thought she was a lost cause. But then at the end she was just all ‘I will never forgive either of you’ at Sookie and Lafayette, and then she took off. Um…so that really WAS just VampTara being melodramatic before? Shit girl, you need to handle your business better than that. It should not be so easy to confuse your anger with the confusion of a person who’s never seen civilization before. Now that she’s talking though, I can’t wait to see where this goes.