I did it!! I made it through my first season of recapping a show!! In all fairness it IS only a 10 episode per season show and I DID have one minor hiccup (technical difficulties) with the 3^rd episode and ended up combining Ep. 3 & 4…but whatever…you can’t take this victory away from me!! I did it!!

Look, I got laid off & am not finding ANYthing remotely resembling a half decent job so I need to celebrate where I can…so you’re celebrating with me! Okay?

Now, on with ‘Endless Summer’.

(Sidenote: I really wanted to title this “She has a nasty gash in her upper leg” thanks to Carlos but I thought that may have been taking things a little too far.)

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Happy Last Recap Before the Finale!! Not that I’m happy the season’s over. Look…I know my recaps haven’t really been all hearts & flowers but that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish there were more than 10 episodes to a season…I still really love the basics of the show…the core relationships…I’d like more time with them. Seriously.

I’m going to do the same thing as last week…my reactions as I was watching. I presume that’s fine with you guys?

• We start with some weird scuba diving extras coming out of murky water talking about coral reef conservation. Would there be coral reef in that water? Is there coral reef in a murky lake? Was it just a lake? A stream? I know nothing about marine biology. Or stuff.
• When are chicks in bikinis gonna learn to NOT go off on their own to purify their water (not a euphemism).
• All of a sudden we’ve switched to an episode of CSI where she’s conveniently discovering blood drops in mud which lead her directly to the dead body o’ the week.
• I LOVE this Callie/Carlos conversation…Carlos all reassuring Callie about her studies and her brain seizing and that’s normal!! I miss their interactions! And, playful Jim jumping for the phone and just wanting to talk to his girlfriend…but then…she’s gotta go? How does she not make a little time for some Jim phone lovin’??
• WAIT!!! Did she actually just dismiss Jim and hang up on him altogether? Nuh uh. Bad form, Cal. Not cool.
• And, of course…Jim looks up from Callie hanging up on him and who’s right there? The Bureau Chief. Will my “I’m hating her a little bit less than usual” semi-reprieve from last week continue? With this development, methinks notsomuch.
• “And his luck just ran out.” – Jim
• We got another Horatio Caine-esque cheesy line but no dramatic donning of the shades before the title card. You gotta do both, Jim, or it just doesn’t count. Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, since I’m way behind on this, I think I’m going to just rundown, in point form (ish) my thoughts while I was watching…cool?

• I’d imagine it’s never a good thing when you find a dead body floating in your “fountain of youth”…doesn’t seem so youthy to me.
• When did it start being okay for everybody to say “shit” on regular TV? Is A&E considered regular TV? Have I just been missing it all along? I mean, I know “dick” gets thrown around constantly but “shit” seems like it’s pushing it a little…not that I’M offended…just that I’m sure there are some people out there that would fight this tooth & nail.
• Seriously, the “you’re gonna need your pipes snaked, lady” was the best thing ever…to me…mainly because it happened with Jeff there and his “on that note, I’m out” was perfect and finally gave Callie the opportunity to acknowledge that Jeff clearly knows what’s going on with her and Jim and is okay with it…also, the fact that she pointed it out that it’s hard to miss ‘cuz of the goofy look on her face anytime Jim’s around…cutetastic.
• The Bureau Chief’s back to stripper wear atthe office. I mean…maybe not total stripper couture but seriously…why, at work, is she wearing a slit in her skirt that with one wrong move will show off her cooch? Nobody needs to see that…not at the office, anyway. Read the rest of this entry »

Nothing jumped out at me from this episode as a good review title…I love it when somebody (usually Jim) throws out a delicious line that is filled with innuendo & double entendre and makes me giggle like the one track minded juvenile that I am. Instead, this week, I got Crackalacka…which, really only made me think of Chris Rock, as Marty in Madagascar, saying “crack-a-lackin” and that amused me. Totally not the same thing as a Connie Simpson’s alter ego but it’s what I thought of anyway.

I’m going to ignore the seemingly-innocent-turns-out-to-be-thug-kids-intent-on-breaking-and-entering-until-they-find-the-dead-body ‘cuz I do NOT love the idea that little punks are smart enough to come up with a “let’s toss a football around” “oops it landed in the neighbours yard” “let’s go look for it while we case the joint” ruse. I don’t doubt it, I just don’t love knowing kids think like that. I mean, I KNOW it ‘cuz I have kids. Mine are maniacs but they’re good, fun maniacs. Watching this makes it obvious that it’s super easy for them to get caught up in doing shit with their friends that COULD have them ending up in a back yard, where they have no business being, discovering a dead body and ending up scarred for life. Not cool. While I’m watching TV, I’d rather be in my fantasy bubble pretending that bad things like that won’t happen. So yes, I want this show to be more believable while keeping me shielded from reality. Okay!?

Carrying on.

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Okay, I know I keep saying it but really this time…this review is gonna be super short because: a) I was laid off on Thursday & should really be spending time looking for a job and b) I’m grumpy ‘cuz of said layoff; and, c) this episode bored me to tears.

The couple jogging & the boyfriend monitoring the chick’s heart rate & her REALLY awful delivery of “Oh yeah? Well monitor my ass.” Come. On. I understand that these actors are “just” extras…but there HAVE to be extras out there with a little bit of talent…no?

I think that my grumpiness towards the show is because of the lack of quality Jim/Callie time. At least we got a little taste at the beginning…the two of them in bed talking about having been in bed for 14 hours. As if we didn’t have reason to love Jim before. That’s impressive. But, of course, JUST as they’re deciding to get out of bed & thinking of actually doing “stuff”, both their phones ring. Foiled again!!

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Before I started watching this episode I was flicking channels and came across a show called “Repo Games”.  So, you should know…I was really angry going into watching this show. ‘Cuz really…what the entire fuck is going on on TV?? This bitch is losing her car but because she knows that Smurfs are fucking blue she ends up getting her car loan completely paid off and Mr. Repo Man goes on his happy way?? Come. On. And then there were the commercials, while I was watching, for “I Killed My BFF”…?

Look…my mom tells me stories from when I was little kid about how I liked commercials more than I liked TV. I think that may still be true…commercials affect me.  A lot. I can cry over a 30 minute Tim Horton’s spot about an African man buying winter coats for his wife & kids who he’s finally bringing to Canada now that he’s got a job and is settled & ready to show them a better life. Buckets of tears. [Ed. Note: As a Canuck, I cannot believe I haven't seen this commercial. - Nicole] And there’s a new Geico commercial about a dad trying to save money so instead of buying his kids a puppy he got them a pet possum. So stupid but I kill myself laughing every time I see it. But then there’s these stupid commercials for these ridiculous fucking scripted ”reality” shows and they make me angry. Why is “Billy the Exterminator” a show? I’ve been asking for awhile…nobody can answer me.

So…now you know my frame of mind…perhaps we should get on with “Food Fight”…?

For real this time…I’m totally keeping this one short. It’s a beautiful, sunshine-y holiday Monday here and I need to get my head clear of stupid people who can’t pay their stupid bills answering stupid questions to keep their stupid cars.

I may need to quit TV, you guys.

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Before we get to tonight’s episode, let me do a quick breakdown of last week’s “Longworth’s Anatomy” that regretfully, I missed.  I had recording technical difficulties…power outages off and on all night…it just wasn’t working out for me. The parts that I did see did not get me all jazzed up to dig deep, find the episode online & dissect every scene…so this’ll have to do…

If I HAD done a full recap last week, it would’ve been called “You Take the Front and I’ll Take the Rear.” Just thought you should know. It’s important.

I’m going to skip over the case stuff ‘cuz we’re already on to the next one so let’s start with Daniel. Weird to start there, right? But, he was a huge part of the storyline this week so that’s what we’re doing.

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So. This episode is called “Poseidon Adventure”. I like my title better mainly because I’m a self-proclaimed jackass so it makes me feel close to Jim knowing that’s what he thinks of himself. Really, for me, it’s not only self-proclaimed. Lots of people tell me I’m a jackass. I think they mean it in a good, fun way. Mostly.

That said, I almost named my recap “We Also Found This Dried Foamy Fluid in Your Backseat” because it made me laugh, grossed me out, made me think of last week’s conversations in the comments section because now, along with never wanting to eat or prepare food in my office kitchen, I also never want to sit in anybody’s back seat again. Ever.

Moving right along…we open with a fun day at the beach. Hot chicks in bikinis, of course. And then…a not so hot lifeguard leering at the bikini girls in a total cheeseball way that makes it seem like there’s no way he realizes that he’s never going to get hot bikini girls. Listen, I know we have Passmore as eye candy. Does that mean we can’t have a hot, built “realistic” lifeguard too? If I’m drowning I don’t want cheeseball, doughboy, with a sunburnt back trying to save me…I want a tall, built, evenly tanned dude who looks like he was born on the beach and who can lift me gently to safety and ascertain whether or not he’ll need to do mouth to mouth and I won’t mind if he does ‘cuz he’s beautiful. He also won’t have to “leer” at passing biking girls ‘cuz they’ll all be hanging around his lifeguard station.

Shit…I’ve taken that too far, huh? Especially since the lifeguard doesn’t really matter at all. Except, after creepily leering at the bikini girls & believing he has a shot with them, he thinks he sees a shark fin in the water…cue “Jaws” music…and then…it’s a dead mermaid. Obviously.

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Okay, here goes. I’m taking over The Glades recaps for Stephanie and I’m a little nervous. Bear with me ‘cuz I may suck at this. I mean, I *think* I’m rational and objective most of the time and then once in a while I do something, say something, write something that proves I’m a completely delusional fan just like the rest of them. I hope that doesn’t happen here.

Just so you have an idea on where I stand with The Glades… I loved Season 1. Loved it. Fell in love with Matt Passmore’s pretty face & quick wit. I love that he’s a bit of a cocky jackass ‘cuz that’s kinda my thing. I loved the chemistry he had with just about everybody and loved the idea of him with Callie. I understood that they couldn’t just throw Jim & Callie together and have them live happily ever after ‘cuz that’d make for an awfully boring/shitty show. That said, I hated it when they threw Heather and then Sam & Ray and then Dr. Avery in the mix, forcing vague triangles that I didn’t really buy. I don’t mind if they take their time getting our main couple together…I just don’t want them to be with anybody else while they’re taking their time. See? Totally rational. Season 2 had its moments. I lost interest around half way through but kept watching just ‘cuz I’m obsessive like that and can’t NOT finish something and I couldn’t abandon Passmore. He’d miss me. All in all, I think it had a strong finish so I’m hoping we stick with that momentum for this season.

Quick re-recap from the Season 2 finale: the hospital’s closing; Callie’s going to be out of a job; Dr. Avery’s all sneaky trying to get her to take an ‘in Atlanta & away from Jim’ job (which, admittedly…except for the “away from Jim” part, would be a fantastic opportunity for our girl); there was some stuff about Callie being a hostage & Jim being a sorta badass negotiator guy but the main thing (for me) was that we saw Jim find out through stupid Dr. Avery (jerk) about Callie’s Atlanta opportunity; we saw Callie getting ready to board the plane & Jim all depressed at home & then we see Callie show up at his place admitting she’s not ready to give up on something she hasn’t even tried yet; and…they kiss. YAY!

Now, let’s get Season 3 started with “Close Encounters”.

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