This episode things Chris Traeger and I have in common went from 0 to 1. #dreamjournal

Jerry Dinner

Jerry dinner. Everytime they say something mean to Jerry/make fun of him, the put a dollar in the box. Then in December they put that money to a really nice dinner which Jerry knows nothing about. Ann’s guilt-trip actually works and Donna actually feels remorse. They’re taking Jerry with them. But when they get to Jerry’s house:

We learn that GAIL IS GORGEOUS. I mean, we knew that Milli was a knockout, but Daaaaamn. But does this remin anyone else of My Boys, when Jim Gaffigan’s character never wanted to go home to his wife, but then we finally meet her, and she’s like the coolest chick on the planet?
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Bat Signal: (n) refers to the children’s character The Bat Man, a strong gentleman who fights crime nocturnally.

Leslie’s on Pawnee’s version of NPR, sending out the Bat Signal in the hopes to gain input from Pawnee citizens on what their park should be like. Apparently Leslie saw Lincoln last weekend, because she says this park will be a celebration of Pawnee, by Pawnee, and for Pawnee.

She gets a response from a pimped out Eagleton guy went to a Danish Art Academy and submitted some very nice suggestions that even Leslie admitted were like Parks Dept. porn. Leslie fights tooth and nail, but Ben finally convinces her to ignore the 200 year old Pawnee/Eagleton blood feud and at least meet with him.

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Ben’s expressions during this scene are a national treasure.

Engagement Present

Ben and Leslie are hanging out in front of the White House being adorable, as per usual. Leslie says, “2024. I win. We move in there. I get the West Wing, you get the East Wing. You can be the First Gentleman.” And Ben is the best ever (as if we didn’t know that already) and is totally on board with this plan. But then he one-ups his own awesomeness by giving Leslie the best engagement present she ever could have imagined.

That’s right, Uncle Joe! I actually loved seeing Joe Biden on the show. He did great. And, because of Leslie’s meeting with the only person on her Celebrity Sex List we get to see her all stuttery, and grabby, and let’s be honest – that’s probably the closest to fan-girling we’ll ever see Leslie Knope. We also get Leslie to say, “Mr. Vice President, I am deeply flattered, but there is no way I can take over Madam Secretary Clinton’s position.”

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War of the Wyatts

The close-up of Leslie’s ring proves how beautiful and sparkly and non-conflicty it really is. I can in no way blame Leslie for shouting her engagement it from the rooftops, literally – just like Monica Gellar – because, have you seen Ben?

Leslie and Ben tell all of their friends (and coworkers) about their engagement. Andy, Ron, Jerry and Donna all gang up to make sure that Ben doesn’t hurt Leslie. I know I’m most afraid of Donna. Meanwhile Chris is having a lot of feelings about this engagement. He declares himself to be profoundly joyous in a way that is unmatched in the modern era. Ugh, now in my mind Chris is Mrs. Bennet and – that’s actually not a terrible metaphor. Also, I would watch that interpretation of Pride & Prejudice.

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Basically how I felt about his episode.

So much happened in this episode. Despite being called “Halloween Surprise” it was was only tangentially about Halloween. So, as a Halloween episode, Season 2′s “Greg Pikitis” is still my favorite. As for everything else about this plot? Ding-ding-ding. We have a winner! I’m still an emotional wreck. I want to live inside this episode because it’s just such a vibrant and beautiful place where nothing bad ever happens.

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SEX AVENGERS!

Great news! Lots of old people have chlamydia. According to Leslie, “Seniors have a lot of time and they’re going at it hard, old people style.” Most of them haven’t had proper sex ed, so diseases are getting spread. (Hey look, a rhyme!) Leslie rises to the challenge of arming these geezers with preventative knowledge.

Leslie, Donna, and Andy assemble the old folks of Pawnee for a little info session. Donna puts on a demonstration on how to protect everyone during group sex using 3 bananas, a cucumber and a pineapple. In the conference room a few scenes later, there is a watermelon added to the mix. I just can’t with the prop department, guys. They’re so sneaky and hilarious.

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This episode is called “How a Bill Becomes a Law” and yet there was not a single Schoolhouse Rock mention. Way to drop the ball, show.

Pawnee

Leslie’s got a nice new City Council office. It’s nice to see that she’s kept her Wall of Inspirational Women intact (including herself).  She even has a two clocks, one for Pawnee and one for Washington, DC even though they’re the same time zone. She even has her own private bathroom. How fancy!

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I could drink a child size Diet Pepsi every day.

Was it just me or did this seem like one of the weakest episodes in a long while? What is wrong with me? It started strong and then just fizzled and ugh. I was so ready to get home and laugh and laugh but no. I was disappointed. But actually writing this made me like it better, so we’ll chalk it up to an off night. Hopefully y’all had a better perspective.

Anyway, Ben and Leslie didn’t interact at all this episode, which I get. I mean, they’re roughly 1000 miles apart. But that sort of sucked. Anyway, let’s get into it.

Washington, DC:

This episode obviously hated me. Case in point: Ben made this unfortunate face.

Leslie & Andy are adorable significant others, so they sent Care Packages to DC. Ben’s came with waffle mix, a JJs diner coffee mug, and some pajamas. And y’all, that was only box 1 of 12. Meanwhile, Andy sent April a stuffed 3-legged dog and his dirty laundry because he is a child and has been wearing a bandana as underwear for 3 days (he even included a picture).

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Sums up how I feel about this show AND Adam Scott’s face.

Hi guys! I’ve missed you all so much. Almost as much as I missed Parks. Get ready for a long post filled with barbecue, romantic reunions, government meetings, and self-guided museum tours.

Washington, DC

Remember when Ben got offered that gig working on a congressional campaign? He took April with him as an intern because this show is genius. Though I do think it’s funny that over the last few seasons April has gone from intern to assistant to temporary Assistant Director of the Parks Department back to intern again.

Anyway, Leslie went to DC to present an application at the Department of the Interior about a grant to clean up the Pawnee River. She takes Andy with her just because? I think he just missed April. So Andy makes the obvious jokes – the Capitol Building is a boob, the Washington Monument is a penis, etc. – before ditching Leslie to have sex with April.

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And this, my friends, brings us to the end of the fourth season of Parks. But fear not, it got a full season renewal, so we’ll be graced with 22 new episodes come fall. Consequently, that will tip Parks into syndication territory, so hopefully we’ll soon be able to giggle at it every day. Let’s keep our fingers crossed, yes? Now that I’ve recovered from the Harry Potter Beer Olympics (you’ve gotta love college, right?) let’s have a little chat about the episode.

There are three possible outcomes to this election: win, lose, or draw. In the event of an exact tie, the seat is awarded to the male candidate and the female candidate is put in jail. The polls teeter back and forth all episode with Bobby, Leslie, and Brandi Maxxx all taking turns in the lead. Jerry pulled a Jerry and forgot to vote, so he spends all episode praying that Leslie doesn’t lose by a one vote margin. Despite the fact that the Newport campaign wasn’t allowed to implement their fancy little electronic voting machines (if a vote was cast for Bobby, a free candy bar certificate was produced. If a vote was cast for Leslie, you had to confirm that choice and then were forced to listen to a baby cry. For shame, Sweetums, for shame), the race remains close throughout the episode.

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