Hey guys, as I’ve mentioned a couple times now, I’m feeling pretty severely under the weather, so I’m going to combine the MMAQB and the Olympics post into one glorious beast (as glorious as a giant inflatable beaver? No chance.) and have you guys discuss your favorite Olympic moments here, as long as what you think were the best (or worst) overall moments, in addition to any thoughts on the final weekend and the closing ceremonies. I’ll hopefully join you guys later!
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Okay, who watched last night? Pretty great, right? I pretty much only saw the top six and the Turkish girl (NBC is all about her for some reason, I think because they like the story of her rich parents moving her to Canada to become a figure skater and giving up their posh lives to clean toilets and so forth), so that’s who I’m going to focus on, from least to most interesting.
Alright, first of all, the second Asian. I agreed with Scott Hamilton and Bitchy Woman Announcer that she was doing everything fine but going through the motions. Obviously I know little to nothing about figure skating, so if even I think you look robotic, ouch. That said, dude, I fucking loved her costume. So cool! It made me briefly reconsider my life and whether I should open up my own shop as a figure skating costume designer. But then I realized I get mad pretty much every single time I attempt sewing.
So last night was a pretty good night to get back into the Olympics, mostly for the drama. First of all, I caught up on the women’s figure skating short routine, and OMG, you guys, I about DIED at the Canadian girl. When she finished and smiled and then immediately started crying … you’d have to have a heart of stone to NOT tear up at that.
I actually watched the first part of the action in “real” time, which is not to be confused with live, so I saw Lindsey Vonn crash and Julia Mancuso get yellow flagged, which, let’s be honest, did suck for her even if it was the right call and even if it was no one’s fault. And I don’t feel like she said that it was anyone’s fault, just that it sucked, which is fair.
Thankfully, since all of this happened earlier in the day, I got to see the commentary on the internet, both from the skiiers and the media, and of course the obligatory media exaggeration of their feud. Because yeah, Julia said on her Twitter that it sucked she got flagged. Well, OMG. There’s something to write a news story about. Are you fucking kidding me?
Can I just confess something right now? I was a little Olympicked out last night. I did watch some figure skating–I saw the two top contenders and the first American, and I’ll catch up on that tonight, but mostly I was just ready for a break. So Billy and I went out for the most amazing noodles on planet earth (my mouth about got burned off and my tongue was right on the border between sore and numb), and then we came home, I took a nice long bath, and then we played some Super Mario Bros on the Wii, and it was very relaxing all around.
I am enjoying the women’s figure skating, though. It’s really beautiful and definitely looks more like dancing than the men’s, although I’m sure it’s just as physical. And I like the outfits … sparkles are a poor girl’s best friend. :)
Did you guys watch last night? Go on ahead and discuss, and I’ll join in tonight after I catch up. Any favorites? Anything spectacularly bad? And does anyone know the difference between the jumps, like axels and toe loops and lutzes? Because they all totally look the same to me and I feel like a figure skating idiot. :) Comments!
Alright, you guys, so it turns out my weekend travels really put me back on the Olympic watching, so I’ve fast forwarded through a lot of stuff, namely ski jumping, which bores the hell out of me. I mean, yeah, it’s crazy, but it’s the same damn thing over and over, and once you’ve seen a couple, you’ve more or less seen it all. Or maybe that’s just me.
Anyway, I did catch some of the men’s ski cross, which is totally badass and yet not quite as crashy as the snow cross, and we watched some of the men’s aerials last night, which are also snowboardier, and yet somehow slightly less awesome. But only slightly.
Speaking of all this, they mentioned last night that Speedy Peterson had gotten sent home for unbecoming conduct in Torino, so I made Billy look up what he did. Turns out it was like a drunken brawl or something. You know, standard. So THEN I made him look up what Scotty Lago (the snowboarder) did this year to get sent home, and he found the pics online that were “unbecoming of an Olympic athlete” and he was at a party with his bronze medal (imagine if it had been gold) tied around his waist and essentially hanging over his dick, and a girl was kissing it. HEE! Those snowboarders. I kind of love them more and more every day. They’re like watching the meerkats at the zoo–you could just stand there pressed against the glass for hours.
Anyway, on to what you really came for, I’m sure, which is ice dancing.
You guys, is sashay shantay a real thing, or is that just something that my dance teacher made up when I was five because it sounds fun? Because it really does sound fun. And I know what sashay shantay is in my head, and I’m not so sure they do it in figure skating, but doesn’t it sound good? Yeah, it totally does. And it totally rhymes.
Anyway, it seems like we’re a bunch of Johnny Weir lovers around here, but I’m sure it’ll all be fun to watch and chat about in the comments. I’ll start the chant now … USA! USA! USA!
You know what, you guys? I know I promised you a lot of shit talking with our friends the Canadians, but to be quite honest, they’ve been sort of a non-issue, and I feel like shit talking with them at this point would be like kicking a puppy. I mean, come ON, Canada–fucking FRANCE is beating you in the medal count. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Anyway, last night was an amazing night of Olympics, and I’m totally pumped to follow it up with men’s figure skating tonight. As a reminder, I’ll be doing an open post that everyone can comment on as the event is happening, so kind of like a chatty, message boardy kind of thing. Also, I discovered last night that Be Good, Johnny Weir is OnDemand on Comcast for FREE! so I will for sure be watching that as soon as I get a chance. Thanks for the recommendation NordicByNature AMY. (Don’t sass me, or I will also use your last name, your address, and discuss your least favorite topic. You know I will.)
As for the rest of the evening, let’s address it from least to most exciting, shall we?
So it appears that figure skating is big shit around here! So we’re going to obviously discuss last night’s, but I think tomorrow when they do their free skate or whatever (dude, I just had a SERIOUS roller rink flashback), I will make a post that night specifically for discussing the action. I can’t promise a live blog, but if I’m around, I might try. It’ll be totally annoying though, because I don’t know anything about figure skating, and I’ll probably take lots of Diet Coke breaks and just make comments about how I wish it was more gay. Yeah, that’s right–all I want is for male figure skating to be MORE GAY. I like what I like.
Anyway, we’ll get back to figure skating in a minute. First, we had the luge (and the title joke goes to Billy, who was so proud of that one–I told him I’d make it the blog title since it’s basically the very definition of “off-color”), where the Germans won and the Americans did not. Oh, and it was the women’s luge. Can I just say how I still think that the luge is so fucking boring, and no amount of death and destruction can make me more interested, apparently? I mean, I don’t want anyone to DIE on it, but all the (non-fatal) crash videos were at least interesting. It’s like NASCAR. And no, I swear, my Indiana is not showing … okay, maybe it is, but everyone knows that the good part of auto racing is wrecks, just like the good part of hockey is fights. Duh.
Well, not even a week into the Olympics and I already know that DVR is the only way to go. There’s just so much filler, and repetitive crap, and so, so much Bob Costas. I mean, I love Bob Costas, and it wouldn’t be the Olympics without him, but SERIOUSLY.
Although I did really enjoy Mary Carillo’s little segment on the polar bears, I can’t lie. They should have polar bear Olympics. It would be so badass. Like the Puppy Bowl.
Last night, I watched the cute little piece on that Canadian moguls skiier and his brother, and then the medal ceremony. It was all just really sweet. Enjoyed the snowboarding pretty much all day, and seeing the American dude come back from behind to win the gold was totally exciting–like, Summer Olympics exciting.
I won’t lie, I fast forwarded through most of the pairs figure skating stuff, although I did fast forward slowly enough that I could see and rewind if someone fell. I can’t help it, that’s my favorite part, especially since none of the costumes last night were especially gay. But there WAS a lot of falling, so that was good. And we get to the real stuff soon (tonight, I think?)–men’s figure skating, bitches! I hope to develop a Will & Grace Olympics crush on someone before it’s all said and done.
What did you guys think about yesterday’s events? Comments!
Alright, everybody! My bad, I totally should’ve told you guys that even though it’s the Olympics, I’m still adhering pretty strictly to my schedule of sleeping in and being awesome on the weekends. Not that blogging doesn’t constitute being awesome, because it totally does, I’ve just been doing different sorts of awesome activities.
So did everyone get a chance to watch the opening ceremonies? I got totally DVR blue balled when the live broadcast ran over the scheduled time due to the malfunction and I didn’t get to see the actual lighting of the torch until later in replays. But it looked pretty cool. In general, the opening ceremonies were pretty cool, not as badass as China, but that’s okay–it would’ve been a tough act for anyone to follow. I’d say my favorite things were the cloggers, the whales, and the faux mountain with the skiiers and snowboarders, and the WTFiest moments were the slam poet they found on You Tube (I mean, that is all you need to know–you don’t have to see it, the description SERIOUSLY says it all) and the ode to the Canadian prairie, which looked like a giant LED screensaver. And also, the kid in the harness looked like my friend Tad had a baby with fucking Freddie Highmore (yeah, just ignore the science and go with it) that they dressed up like Jay Leno. So weird and annoying.