Previously on Jersey Shore: The gang (I need to find a better collective term for the Jersey Shore cast, don’t I?) all came back from Italy and did not pass Go, they went directly to
Jail the actual Jersey Shore. I wonder if the recappers from Dallas had this problem in the ’80s: “Then the whole cast of Dallas went back to the actual Dallas.” What, the internet has not been around forever? The devil you say! Also on last week’s episode, Vinny began showing some human emotions, and this is bad news and quite alien to the show!
This week, as usual, we pick up where we left off. Vinny is full of anxiety and he can’t sleep or function in this environment. Here are the suggestions Ronnie and Pauly give to him:
- Make it to the weekend, where he can go out, listen to music, and meet girls
- Go to work tomorrow
- “Relax, dude
I’m certain that therapists all across the world are going to immediately pick up on the “Party, Work, Relax” system for combating anxiety. And this is where Vinny first floats the idea of leaving. Ronnie, of course, compares this to being on a ledge and threatening to jump. Very understated, this one.
Let me pause for a second, and say that I’m writing this having already seen the entire episode (that’s not always the case), and I’m going to give this warning: I’m not going to make fun even a little of Vinny’s anxiety issues. I’m happily going to make fun of the dumb reactions that others have to it, but 1) Vinny has always seemed like one of the two genuinely nice people on the show, and 2) even if it had been Deena or Snooki who had anxiety issues, I wouldn’t make fun of that either. I have a heart, you know. Somewhere. And to prove that I’m showing this episode the proper respect, no nicknames for anybody for the rest of the recap. Nothing but full names.
All right, so Michael is out at some dumb club, as usual, and he meets up with Paula, our friend from Season 1 who had sex with him in the jacuzzi and then fell down the stairs (out of shame, I assume). Michael’s going to take Paula home and it starts thundering and pouring down rain. God’s wrath is finally coming down on the Jersey Shore! This causes Michael, Paula, Nicole, Ryder, and Jionni (that isn’t just a weird nickname? damn it!) to run all the way back to the house, and when they get there, they’re all soaked. Jionni has to borrow a t-shirt and underwear from Michael. Thankfully the underwear is still in the box. Jionni offers to cook food as a gesture of thanks for Michael letting him borrow his clothes. Jionni seems kind and polite; what does Nicole bring to this relationship, exactly?
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