Hart of Dixie

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I’m fine. Fiiiiiine I tell ya!

Well, that was a relatively tame winter finale though there may have been some foreshadowing of troubles to come. One of those is definitely the fact that when Hart of Dixie returns in late March it will be warming a Friday-night death slot…it doesn’t look very positive on the renewal front if Dixie is replacing the ratings-challenged (but absolutely brilliant) and cancelled Nikita. Time will tell I guess!

But back to the winter finale.

(Fair warning: some spoilers about upcoming episodes reside within this post! Proceed at your own risk.)

Yay! Zoe is back where she belongs: in the old carriage house! Too bad she’s not quite as thrilled about being back there as I am seeing her there. And then there was the disappointment of having Joel walking out of the bathroom, buttoning his shirt, instead of Wade…

Anywho!

It’s Zoe’s birthday and Joel really, really wants to throw her a proper birthday party. Apparently all attempts at birthdays have failed in the past (though I do not recall us ever witnessing that on the show before, correct me if I’m wrong) and our good doctor Hart (she’s still a doctor, right?) is less than keen on celebrations. But Joel is a persistent man and very much in love so he gets his way this time around.

But it is not long until disaster strikes: mommy Hart decides to pay her lovely festival-invitations-challenged only child a visit! Surprise!

Which is bad ’cause Zoe hasn’t quite been honest about that whole other family she’s acquired since moving back to Bluebell. Awkward!

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We’re gonna need some more tequila!

Bluebell was mostly about the fun and games last night with Zoe trying to encourage healthy living in the midst of Cricket promoting some sugary delights in the form of Cakefest. We all know that Bluebellians can’t resist them pastries!

Unfortunately last night wasn’t just about delicious cakes, Tom wanting alpacas, and Meatball stripping down to his dollar shorts. No, unfortunately there was a collective “let’s shed a tear” moment at the end. But more on that in a bit.

Zoe and Joel have bought a house in Bluebell but they kind of want to convert it to a New York loft. Taking down those walls is gonna be mightily expensive though! But fear not, Joel is certain a handyman lurks in him somewhere…whereas the rest of us are just actively trying not to snicker at that (and think about that time when Wade was playing handyman at Zoe’s place last season).

Feeling like a failed writer after Tom gives some scathing feedback on the first few chapters of his new book, Joel decides that in order to become a manly man he must turn to the man himself: Wade Kinsella. (Incidentally, Joel’s main character is already called Wiley Kincade…hmm, I wonder who that Southern badass is based on?)

Joel decides to stalk follow Wade around for a day in order to perfect his fictional cowboy character. What he witnesses is what most of us have already seen over the course of two seasons; namely that Wade can get a helluva long way with a compliment and a smile. He doesn’t even need to go to the post office to mail stuff!

But this is no surprise really. After all, this is the man who invented the compliment sandwich!

Taking the method writing a step too far, Joel decides to jump right into the shoes of the cowboy by tending bar and trying to break up fights. This ranges somewhere between not understanding how a cocktail shaker works to setting up a duel with someone called Little Zack.

Clearly Joel has a lot to learn.

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I see your salamander and raise you a cement truck

Helloooo Bluebell! And y’all! Apologies for the absence last week, I hope everyone enjoyed the heck out of Zoe trying to direct a cabaret about cells! And Lemon made an appearance! Clearly our beloved Bluebellians were completely devoid of good schemes and had to have Lemon micro-manage through Skype. It definitely delivered some much needed spunk and sass to the show. I only wish there had been more actual cabaret happening instead of just the preparation for it!

But back to last night’s episode.

Can I hear y’all rejoice with me? GOODBYE LYNLY! Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out! So happy to be rid of that annoying crazy-eyed cry-baby. Now there’s hope for a proper ADULT relationship again…feel free to step up any time Tansy!

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves (even though Lynly leaving was the clear highlight of this episode) though! Back to the beginning we shall go…

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kjlkjljlj

Don’t panic, there’s a tiki drink to go with this shirt!

Top of the mornin’ to y’all (or afternoon, or evening, all depends on where you’re reading this from)! The kooky yet lovely residents of Bluebell made an appearance on our screens again after a looooooong hiatus and despite there being a distinct lack of a lemony presence, shenanigans were aplenty!

Where should we start?

With Bluebell possibly becoming Fillbell? Wade giving Zoe a peace of his mind? Zoe being bananas (as per usual)? AB and Joel having an affair? Rose (yay!) finally deciding to make a long overdue appearance? Or the not so subliminal message that you should head on out and buy yourself a Microsoft Surface tablet?

Let’s dive right in shall we?!?

Poor Lavon faced the biggest challenge of his mayor-hood when he discovered that Todd Gainey Sr, aka the Mayor of Fillmore, had some devious plans for the future of Bluebell. Still hellbent on erecting a mall to honour himself (or compensate for the lack of a lil’ something), the Mayor of Fillmore makes a civil servant’s day by seemingly agreeing on the merger of Fillmore and Bluebell. After putting their heads together, GTuck, Lavon, and AB come to the conclusion that there’s something fishy going on and off we go into the dark world of fake affairs, hawaiian shirts, and coconut boobs.

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ffff

Seriously? That’s where we’re heading?

Oh Hart of Dixie, I just don’t know what to do with you anymore…every once in a while you restore my faith in you with a moment or two that reflect the show I love so much and then puff, all gone! And back to characters nobody cares about and plot lines that make zero sense.

I’m confused and, I must confess, a little irritated.

Especially after an interview with the show-runners indicated that those moments of greatness I keep glimpsing are probably going to be few and far between when the show returns from its little holiday hiatus. More on that a bit later.

At the risk of sounding repetitive, here are some thoughts (sounds better than cusses) on last night’s midseason finale.

Read on if you dare!

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I Run to You

A picture speaks louder than a thousand words!

Right…Hart of Dixie proved marginally better last night than it was last week. Marginally though, mind you! The redeeming factor was the last 10 minutes or so of the episode which finally felt a little bit more like the show used to be.

And that twist in the end there? Took me completely by surprise – in a good way!

And shirtless Wade? Made everything in the world instantly better! Was this the first we’ve seen of that action this season? About damn time then!

Now, the theme of last night’s kooky crazy? Let’s blame everyone else for our inability to communicate!

The conclusion? Jam makes everything better.

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Police? Please help, someone's stolen my show!

Police? Please help, someone’s stolen my show!

You guys… I don’t think I have much to say about this last truly awful episode of Hart of Dixie.

What is going on? Where’s the quirky little show that won me over last season? Why is the heart in Hart of Dixie missing this season?

Feel free to disagree with me but the only positive thing about this episode was Wade and Lemon who, to some degree, still seem to be themselves (but only when interacting with each other). Other than that I’m sad to say I hated everything about this episode!

It got me wondering, is there a dart board hanging somewhere in the writers room where random plots and character pairing can be attributed to a badly aimed dart? ‘Cause that’s how it’s starting to feel to me.

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Look behind you Zoe!

Look behind you Zoe!

Oh you guys…there’s a reason this recap is a day late…it has everything to do with me trying to contain myself and not write this whole review in ALL CAPS! And so not in a good way. Know what, screw it, it’s totally unhealthy to keep emotions and feelings all bottled up, right?

So here goes: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SHOW WRITERS?!?!?!?!?

It’s sad, sad, sad that my two least favourite characters were actually my two favourite characters in this episode. All of a sudden Lynly and Joel seem more real to me than any of the rest of the characters. And that’s just not the reason I’ve been avidly watching this show for the last two years.

Let me break the disappointment down for ya…

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How about that slow dance?

How about that slow dance?

Sorry for the absence last week but yay for this week’s episode of Hart of Dixie! After a bit of a rocky start I believe the show is back to form and all the characters are behaving as crazy as ever. Phew! I was worried there for a second!

The first three episodes of the season didn’t quite feel like the good ol’ Bluebell we’ve come to love and despair over in the last couple of years but last nights shenanigans (yes, I can bring back the S word) more than paid for a couple of rather lacklustre season starters.

Dash was back in form with his one-man Frankenstein, Wanda’s hair deserves an honourable mention for sure, Lemon became Lemon again, and Wade finally went on a womanising bender.

All in all, a regular day in Bluebell.

Let me break it down for ya, keep on readin’!

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I didn't realise fake relationships were so much work!

I didn’t realise fake relationships were so much work!

Welcome back Bluebellians (which is incidentally a hashtag on Twitter now, I take full credit, naturally)! What did y’all think about this week’s Hart of Dixie? Was it much ado about nothing or much ado about everything?

I think we can all agree that the whole “Meatball pleases Lemon in ways that she didn’t think were possible” gives us the creeps and makes us want to go drown ourselves in a bucket full of tears. Or at least take a big swig of whiskey and plead amnesia or something.

Yes, I’m kind of not buying this.

Like, this is Lemon Breeland we’re talking about. Lemon freakin’ Breeland y’all! The stuck up Southern belle who wouldn’t have been caught dead even SPEAKING to someone like Meatball (shudder). I want that Lemon back! I can’t take this any longer!

Right…so I kind of had to get that out of my system.

Back to the regularly scheduled program! Read the rest of this entry »

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