Glee

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The Year-End Wrap Up posting extravaganza continues!  For Monday shows, click here, and be sure to keep checking back all this week for our thoughts on how seasons went as a whole, what we’re going to keep watching and obsessing over, and what is getting the axe from our DVRs!  And as always–comment, comment, comment!
Nicole’s thoughts are in purple, SB is in blue!
Glee

Oh, good lord. I am willing to admit that the two episodes that aired last week were okay. Even kind of good. But I am at the point now where I hate the show so much that it actually pains me to admit that. Because I know that given enough time (usually a week) Glee will squander all the goodwill it earns from NOT being a complete trainwreck by fucking up so hard that it reminds you all over again why you promised yourself you would STOP WATCHING THE SHOW ALREADY, GODDAMMIT!!  I will not be watching next season – they’re doing a major overhaul of some kind (per usual, Ryan Murphy is being super cagey about his plans, which to me indicates that he probably has no idea what he’s doing and will decide while yachting around the Hamptons with Gwyneth Paltrow sometime in August), and so I see this as the perfect time to make a clean break. I’m treating this week’s episode as a series finale and then I am moving on, as I imagine most of the original cast members are dying to do (to me, those summer arena tours that they do seem like forced hard labor – I imagine that they are transported around in cages). I like most of the people in the show enough that I’ll check them out in other things (Chris Colfer’s writing/producing feature film debut looks worth checking out and I will follow Jane Lynch anywhere except back to Sue Sylvester’s office). But I fear that the show has ruined Matthew Morrison for me forever. Sorry buddy. It’s really unfortunate that your debut to those of us who don’t follow Broadway had to be playing Will Schusterwurst, because dammmmnnnnnn. That shit leaves an aftertaste that won’t be easy to forget. Goodbye forever, Glee. We’ll always have those first six episodes.

You know … I really do hate this show too.  I kind of like the songs, and occasionally I’ll have a moment of character love or really admire a bit of acting and then I remember … it doesn’t belong on this show, and there are several people who are just all around too good for it (Jane Lynch, Dot Marie Jones, and Dianna Agron, to name a few–also, I’m pissed that Jane Lynch left Party Down for this, but then … how could she have known what it would become?).  So basically, I second everything Nicole has already said.  I actually may have considered continuing to watch, given the reboot factor and that Murphy seems to have completely lost interest in the show (and he’s busy enough for his involvement to be minimal), which means that maybe with new people running the show, it could theoretically improve.  Although this season has not really evidenced that.  But thankfully, Glee is cutting the cord for me by moving to Thursdays, which are already just too busy to mess with this trifling bullshit.  I confess that I’ll probably check out the first ep or two if they REALLY change it up, mostly out of morbid curiosity, but the series recording is getting deleted.  Beyond all the silly, stupid crap … I just get sick of the attempts at emotional exploitation and I’m over it.

Unless Ricky Martin comes back. Read the rest of this entry »

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So I decided to take over hatecap duties this week because of one thing and one thing only: BOMER. I figured, no matter what other nonsense and Quinn-related After School Special-style melodrama I’d have to deal with, at least there would be Bomer, with his charm and his talent and his fetching, beautiful eyes. And he’d be singing Duran Duran, so, how bad could it be? Well, in the previouslies, I was quickly reminded just how bad this show can, in fact, be. It’s been so long since Glee has been on the air that I actually managed to forget about Sue’s pregnancy, about Rachel and Finn’s super well thought out almost-wedding and about weaponized slushie facials. Oy.

Well, lets get Quinn out of the way first, shall we? To the shock and surprise of anyone who doesn’t use the internet, she isn’t dead. She is in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the hips down (her junk still works), but she seems to think it’s only for a few days or something. She plans to perform during Nationals! On her feet! And obviously, because she’s in a chair, her new best friend is Artie, which does make a kind of sense but also feels a little cheap, because it’s Glee. [Aside: There is no way in freaking hell that Quinn would be back at school so quickly after that kind of injury, but whatever.]

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What my nightmares are made of.

What up, gang? Christina here. Looks like it’s my turn to helm the ol’ ship Hatecap. You know how it is. The pure loathing that this show inspires can’t and shouldn’t be left to just one person (it causes ulcers), so I bravely, and selfishly, volunteered for last night’s episode because it’s been a while since I unleashed my TV rage and mama needs an outlet. The title of this recap came from a line that enraged me so much for so many reasons, but I think it’s a very accurate description of this episode. Because it wasn’t fun at all. That’s an hour of my life I will never get back.

I’m not going to go through everything that happened in the episode because, quite frankly, by the time I started writing this, my general confusion and ire had waned, and I knew I was going to work myself up as I went through the points I wanted to make, so I figured I’d spare myself you. But before I go on to talk about how utterly predictable and ridiculous the entire fucking episode was, I need to give y’all a little background on my Glee watching. I was convinced to watch last season by a friend (Hi, @cinjudes!). I enjoyed some episodes, but against better judgment I was “trying to make sense” of a nonsensical show and nearly had an aneurysm. I saw the error of my ways, realized my deep hatred of The Murph, and vowed never to watch another single minute of the show ever, ever again. Seriously, my hate of Saint Ryan Murphy is so much that I automatically hated American Horror Story on principle, but that show is such a shitstorm of cray and embraces it that it’s actually kind of genius. But I still hate Ryan Murphy. With a fiery passion. Here’s why:

It’s episodes like this where I can really feel his influence because it was just SO heavy-handed I felt like I was being smothered. In the first twenty minutes when Karofsky was convinced that it didn’t get better and tried to off himself, I thought “dear lord what have I done volunteering to hatecap this episode? I’m just going to look like a GIANT ASSHOLE.” I don’t have a problem with their tackling a tough subject like this, which does deserve attention, but I knew if I just waited, this show would fuck it up all on its own. And sure enough, before long, it did what it does best and totally forgot about it once it was out of the way. But more than that, before it was forgotten it was a TOTAL B.F.D. Read the rest of this entry »

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They're so cute.

Hey guys – we were going to take the week off from Glee as a Valentine’s Day gift to ourselves, but Melissa volunteered to take it on.  Enjoy!

Have you ever listened to something, not remembered any of it and then realized your brain had died in that moment? This is how I feel when I watch Glee. Except, the weirdest thing happened. Parts of this episode achieved the expected levels of Glee suckage. But other parts were actually good? And made sense? Or even if they started out stupid, ended up kind of working? There are question marks after all of these because I’m still not sure that actually happened.

Like take the whole Joe thing. I have issues with Joe himself, which we’ll get to, but the whole ‘Christians are evil’ thing had me kind of pissed off at first. And I’m still kind of peeved over it but at the same time the show sort of did what I wanted. See, I get that a lot of Christians have this ridiculously stupid idea that homosexuality is like one of those Disney fast passes except instead of getting you closer in line to Space Mountain, it just opens up a trap door and drops you into hell. WHICH IS BULLSHIT. Not that I need to tell ya’ll that. Though I need to tell the Idaho legislature that several times through a fucking megaphone because they refused to pass a bill that wouldn’t allow Idaho employers to discriminate based on sexual orientation. I KNOW. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW.

Anyway, so I know the majority falls in the asshole complain about gay people instead of feeding the hungry or other useful stuff but when it first started I was like ‘why can’t Glee do something different?’ Why not have a kid who says ya know what, I can believe in a religion but I can also believe in treating people like human beings, with love and compassion and no discrimination? (Unless you’re stupid. Or Artie. I have no love for Artie.) I was even all worked up about it but then the Joe kid wasn’t a total ass about the whole thing. And in the end, he realized exactly what I wanted all along and serenaded Brittany and Santana anyway. This is why I’m confused ya’ll. Glee set up a stereotype and broke the stereotype in a good way in a single episode. It’s like I don’t even know what show I’m watching!

Kidding. We still had Artie to deal with and for some reason Sugar was allowed to speak. And of course Douchester’s entire existence. But enough analyzing. To the recap!

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You guys, I don’t even … I have no idea what that even MEANS.  ”Please don’t hog my fiance’s nog” … ?  WTF.  Let me consult consult Urban Dictionary.  (Sidenote: The fact that I use Urban Dictionary both makes me feel old, because I am out of touch with what is cool and/or filthy–often the same thing, of course–and makes me feel young and/or awesome because I am still willing to brave Urban Dictionary.  Ya know?)  Aaaand … no.  There is no mention of “nog” as jizz on page one, and in fact, it doesn’t show up until definition TEN, where it has more thumbs down than thumbs up.  In fact, most of the definitions on the first page define “nog” as kind of a slang for the N-word, in which case, that pamphlet just got a WHOLE lot more interesting.  ”Please don’t hog my fiance’s N-word”?  Holy SHIT, Black History Month fail!  Leave it to this fucking show, right?

Please to be reincarnated as this chair?

Goddamn, I didn’t mean for that to turn into such a thing, but … I think it was warranted.  Anyway.  I volunteered to recap this episode because I’m basically in love with Ricky Martin in a very unironic way, and also?  We share a birthday!  Yup, that’s right–Christmas Eve, bitches!  So I shit you not, I was REALLY excited to hear some Livin’ La Vida Loca, and most of all, She Bangs.  And again … ZERO IRONY.  I love She Bangs so much that even William Hung couldn’t ruin it for me.  But um … NO Ricky Martin songs!  What in the actual, factual FUCK.  UUUUGGGGGHHHHH.  Instead we got an episode full of boring shit that I hate, most notably Will Shuester, and I was so excited for Ricky Martin that now I’m super fucking pissed!  So basically, I am in the perfect mindset to really tackle the hatecap.  Let’s GO. Read the rest of this entry »

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HOT. Best part of the episode. AGAIN...HOT. AS. HELL.

What’s up gang?! So it’s my turn to rock out one of these Glee trash-caps. Before we get started, I thought I’d give you my thoughts on Glee and how I feel about characters and such so y’all know where I’m coming from. Like most of us here at OCTV, I pretty much despise the writers, especially Ryan Murphy for so completely fucking up what could be an awesome thing. (Sidenote: Smash, which will be recapped by Dayna in another week, is everything Glee ever hoped to be and more, just fyi.) But I think I’m a little odd. See I like Rachel & Finn. I actually really like them and Quinn as well. I just hate how much the writers have assassinated their characters. But anyway. Oh also, I grew up like hardcore conservative (I had to do a whole presentation to be allowed to buy Hanson’s “Middle of Nowhere” in 7th grade kind of conservative) so I never grew up listening to Michael Jackson. Therefore I have no special affinity to the songs. This could work in my favor because I don’t have much of a frame of reference or I could just hate it all. It’ll probably be the latter.

We kick things off with several Glee kids walking down the hall and ya’ll, who killed a cat and stuck it on Kurt’s head? What the fuck? Apparently all we needed to kickoff this tribute ep was to say that the kids want to sing Michael’s songs again (remember the girls missed out back when they were allowed to be awesome on their own.) and now we’re singing. I’m not that much a fan of the first song (I think it’s “Starting Something”). [Editor's Note: Close! It's Wanna Be Starting Something] The stage part improved it a little but it just didn’t seem to fit an opening number. But I do like that Blaine can pretty much eye-fuck everyone in a room without even looking at them.

Finn wants Rachel to hurry up and answer his marriage proposal. Rachel would like to take a few or eight years to think about it and you know, grow up first. Finchel ain’t no Naley. I mean Rachel could say yes but that’s gonna be the longest fucking engagement ever.

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Well…that happened.  I hated so much about this episode that I was honestly kind of shocked to see that not everyone felt the same way (et tu, SB??? I saw your twitter feed).  I mean, we’re talking about an episode focused on Will, Emma, Rachel and Finn, so already you know things are going to be annoying and probably a little inappropriate (that would be the Schue Factor).  Add to that the fact that so many of the songs were ugh (at least, for me they were), the stories were more disjointed and out of left field than usual, and throw in a plot that ended up being kind of sweet but because this was Glee I spent the whole time cringing in anticipation of something horrible (and, I’m sorry, but it did get a little horrible).

So no, this will not be a post in which I praise Glee for finally getting something right, or celebrate the fact that at least the music was awesome.  So if you are someone who can’t stand to see the show criticized or who uses the terms ‘Wemma’ or ‘Finchel’ without irony, you’ll probably just want to move on right now.

The show was such a mish-mash there is absolutely no point in coherently discussing things like ‘story’ or ‘plot’, so let’s just go into random attack mode, shall we?

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Welcome back to part two of OCTV’s mid-year wrap up, where Nicole and SB go over what they’ve been watching all year and take a step back to look at the seasons (or the seasons so far) as a whole.  If you missed part one, you can find it here.  Gifs are generously rounded up by hockeybychoice, and as always, Nicole’s thoughts are in purple and SB’s are in blue.  Enjoy and be sure to comment!

How I Met Your Mother

This show has really impressed me with it’s willingness to go places where most traditional sitcoms would be afraid to go.  The most impressive and heartbreaking example of this is last year’s storyline about the death of Marshall’s dad which can still make me tear up if I picture Alyson Hannigan’s cryface and remember Jason Segel’s strained ‘I’m not ready for this’.  The whole thing was so well done and they found a fantastic balance of humor and emotion to tell the story over the subsequent weeks.  As someone similar in age to the characters, I appreciate the fact that the show will go there and show the funny and human side of all the shit you go through in life around this age.

This year, the drama has been about Robin and her inability to have kids, and how she feels about that considering that she was always the one that said she never wanted them.  Again, I can totally relate to this.  I’ve never particularly wanted be an Olympic pole vaulter for Team Canada either, but if the option was suddenly taken away from me, I don’t know how I’d feel about it.  At this point, I appreciate this show for it’s ability to tell (mostly) good stories each week, and for making me laugh AND cry, and I don’t particularly give a shit HOW he met their goddamn mother.  I stopped caring about that a long time ago.  But as long as I feel connected to these people and the show is willing to take chances with stories and subject matter, I’ll be watching.

Yeah, you know, I read a lot of professional critcs’ opinions about this show and their increasing rage, and I’m always a little confused, like … REALLY?  It’s not that they don’t make valid points, I guess, but I just kind of feel like what they’re getting worked up about isn’t that big a deal, and I pretty much feel like if you’re still watching the show with the actual expectation of Ted finding the mother, you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment every week.  And I don’t know, it just seems weird to me keep watching a show that’s going to stress you out.  But then, I’m not a professional critic, so if I don’t want to watch something … I just don’t.

Anyway, I agree with Nicole that this show has had a lot of really great acting, especially in the least year or two.  Those episodes where Marshall’s dad died were excruciating, in a good way.  I also got emotional about the Olympic pole vaulter episode, and how about Barney finding his real dad?  All awesome.

My only real issues in the past year have been Zoey (how do you actually make Jennifer Morrison, of all people, insufferable?) and Kevin.  I’m fine with Ted being single (also, I really don’t know why everyone hates Ted so much … I guess I wouldn’t say he’s my FAVORITE, but he’s fine, and he just serves such a definite purpose within the group–but I digress), but I’m not sure why we’re still keeping Barney and Robin apart at this point.  The writers really fucked it up once, and I thought things were getting back on track.  I’m okay with a short “choosing Kevin, pregnancy scare” detour, but I hope it’s short.  Obviously Lily and Marshall have their happily ever after, and Ted is working on his … is it so unreasonable to give Robin and Barney theirs, when it’s so obviously each other?

But even the prolonged agony of Robin and Barney isn’t enough to keep me away from the show.  I really like it–it’s funny, the cast has awesome chemistry, and it’s a nice half hour on a Monday.  I’m in for the long haul.

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Look at how happy Darren Criss is!!!

Goddamn you, Glee. I psych myself up to mercilessly hate you since it’s my turn in the OCTV Glee-cap roulette, and then you charm me with your songs and pithy take on retro Christmas specials and underused Irish-accented cast members. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

It’s because it’s the Christmas episode. I can’t help it, y’all. I love Christmas. And for some reason things that I typically hate with a fiery, burning passion are somehow made okay under the guise of “But it’s Christmas!” I’m like, “Oh, well, that’s fine then.” Except now that I’m thinking back on this episode, annoyingly titled “Extraordinary [pronounced Extra-ordinary. Ugh.] Merry Christmas,” I realize it was mostly awful. And the song choices! I think I’m about to swear off all pop Christmas songs and listen to only, like, “In the Bleak Midwinter” and “Coventry Carol” and things like that. Now don’t get me wrong—I love me some Mariah Carey Christmas. But there are definitely some Christmas songs that are really, really, really, REALLY terrible. Like most of the ones in tonight’s episode.
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Hi guys!!  My turn to take the Glee baton and run with it, though the totally awesome title for this post came courtesy of Sarah.  Because she’s awesome and way more cleverer than I am.

Now, I know you’re all accustomed to a certain level of vitriol here with regards to Glee, and to be honest I’m not sure I can fully rise to the occasion.  For one thing, my expectations are really pretty low when it comes to this show.  And for another, I don’t give that much of a shit.  Maybe a little nugget.  Or just, like, a skid-mark.  But definitely not a complete shit.  So I apologize up front if I don’t meet all of your hateration expectations.  Glee-capping:  it’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.

In our A-plot, it’s Sectionals time!  You know, that thing that the Glee Club theoretically spends all its time preparing for, but in actuality doesn’t even pick the set list for until the last minute.  With the defection of the Cheerios to the Trouble Tones, and with Rachel’s suspension following Boxstuffing-Gate (not like that!  Perverts.), the Nude Erections kids are in a funk and certain that they’ll lose.  Since Finn is back in take-charge mode this episode (as opposed to too-stupid-to-live mode or douchiest-douche-who-ever-douched mode), he decides that what Nude Erections needs to win Sectionals is one Trouty-mouth Sam Evans, whom Finn has managed to track down because “even homeless people have Facebook.”

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