Ghost Hunters

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And oooooh boy, was there some crap.  Also, I’m not afraid to say that there might really be nothing of value in here for some of you, but at least you will get a good laugh at my expense at the kind of terrible TV I’m willing to watch.

Okay, first of all, in not actually embarassing news, I watched Ace of Cakes.  Man, I love that show, even when Geof shows up in his alien masks.  I HATE aliens, by the way.  They scare me and I worry about hearing sounds outside at night because I think that aliens are one of those things that are actually plausible.  In fact, I actually am about equally afraid of serial killers and aliens because I figure my chances of encountering either are about equal, and if I encounter a serial killer I probably won’t even know it.  Whereas if I encounter an alien, I HOPE I know it, because if I don’t, that’s even creepier.

Moving on, in news that isn’t embarassing to me but which may be considered embarassing by some, I watched Saturday Night Live.  AND I enjoyed it, so there’s that.  My favorite part was actually, the “What’s Up With That” skit, which is so bizarre because that’s not usually my type of thing, but Jason Sudeikis dancing in the background blew my mind.  BLEW IT!  And how about the random usage of James Franco, who never said a word?  I loved that too, it was so bizarre.

WAAAAAY too much Kristen Wiig though, as always.  Dude, she is so annoying and not funny, and it really pisses me off that her obnoxious ass is still around when they fired Michaela Watkins, who was ACTUALLY funny.  And I get annoyed that Kristen Wiig is in movies I like too, even if I don’t hate her in them, such as Adventureland or Extract (although “like” may be a little strong for that one … or not, I’d need multiple viewings to decide).  And there’s the kicker–the highest praise I can ever bring myself to give Kristen Wiig is “I didn’t hate her in it.”  So sad.  And on the rare, RARE, super rare occasion that I do laugh at something she does, I just feel bad about myself.  It’s like laughing at Robin Williams.  You just feel so dirty it isn’t even fun.

Also, her disgusting Weekend Update skit made me puke in my mouth.  I bet anyone who watched that ever has an O again.  Mankind thanks you, Kristen Wiig.

Okay, what else.  Ah, yes.  I went to bed on Saturday after watching a DVRed Toddlers & Tiaras, and woke up to a My Super Sweet 16 marathon.  Billy brought me an iced coffee and a sausage biscuit and I felt like I’d won the lottery. 

You guys, if you could hear the running commentary out of me and Billy during Toddlers & Tiaras, there would be absolutely no doubt in your mind that we are going straight to hell.  The only question left is, window or aisle seat?  I’d prefer window, thanks.

And finally, you guessed it, Ghost Hunters.  You guys, I can’t help it, I fucking love me some Ghost Hunters.  I’ve been cruising through the ones OnDemand, and I just watched the one with Meatloaf and I loved it.  So you sit over there in your ivory tower of silent judgment, but the heart wants what it wants, OKAY?  And apparently what my heart wants is EVPs, K2 meters, and black shadow figures.  It could be worse.

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So just yesterday I was saying how Tuesday TV sucks, which I stand behind, although I had forgotten that 90210 moved to Tuesdays so I think I’m going to start watching that again.  But I forgot to set the DVR for it last night–you know how it is.

Anyway, a lot of times when I’m sitting around bored and there’s nothing on the DVR I can watch without Billy (because watching something on DVR that the other one wants to watch without them is a SERIOUS offense in our house), I’ll hit up the OnDemand.  And I have to say, I don’t know how it is on other cable systems because I’ve never had it with anyone else, but Comcast’s OnDemand is pretty bitchin.

Enter Ghost Hunters.  Now, I like horror movies and I do believe in ghosts, or at least the possibility of them, and I kind of like ghost hunting shows but I’m actually pretty particular about them and there are only two I watch.  The first one is, hello, Paranormal State.  It’s hilarious, and SUCH a trainwreck.  I’m in total love with it.

The second one, of course, is Ghost Hunters.  What I like about this is that they at least try to take a more scientific approach, and do some debunking stuff, rather than just running around thinking that any little bump is paranormal.  And even though the scenes where Kris calls them while they’re on a Roto-Rooter job are such bullshit, I don’t even mind that much because I think it’s cool they have that kind of background and bring some practical knowledge to this kind of thing.

So anyway, I’m getting caught up on my OnDemand viewing (because obviously, I don’t have Bravo so I don’t have SyFy or whatever awesome channel GH is on, sadly), and I was watching the one last night with the church and the little drummer boy (and by the way, how cool was it when they found out that a little drummer boy actually HAD been killed there?). 

Anyway, the reason I was writing this was because I kind of love Steve and Tango–I do like that they have their set pairs they go off in, and Steve and Tango are always so random, or having stupid conversations, or goofing off or whatever (but not in a not working way–more like in a drumming on the tree trunk to see if it would make the little drummer boy join in).  And every now and then they have fairly serious conversations too, like in that episode when Tango was like, why would you still want to be here, instead of going to heaven?  And Steve is like, first of all, you’re assuming free will, and secondly, what if there is no heaven or hell?  What if there’s just an afterlife, and it’s just like a different kind of existence?

And at this point, I’m just like … hell yeah, Steve and Tango!  It makes me both really happy that they would have that conversation and that GH would choose to include it, because I would think that if you spend that much time chasing around dead people, it would HAVE to come up.  And I don’t know, I think maybe more than the evidence that they do or don’t find (because ultimately, nothing will ever be proven either way–it’s one of those things you’ve gotta find out for yourself), that kind of discussion at least partially validates what they do.  Everyone is going to die eventually and most people wonder about what happens next, in some form at some point.  Some people ignore it and some people find God, and some people go on ghost hunts.  But I think that thinking about it is a good thing, and I just really liked that they were having an actual discussion about it for a minute.  It was a very refreshing and real moment there.

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Okay, so South Park is something that I generally catch in reruns, but when I heard they were spoofing Ghost Hunters, I made it a point to DVR it.  I fucking love Ghost Hunters, which is why I have to give a shout out to Comcast OnDemand for making it available to me, and free at that!

Okay, so I was pretty worried that I had gotten too excited for it when Ghost Hunters was only on for a minute, but as it turns out, the entire episode was golden.  But before we get to that …

Can I just say that while the Ghost Hunters thing was funny, especially the, “Did your that?  It sounded like … tiiing” stuff, I really felt like the spoof was closer in nature to Paranormal State, which is hilariously bad, but I understand because Ghost Hunters is WAY more watched.  At least on Ghost Hunters, they try to debunk stuff.  Paranormal State is … wow.  If you haven’t ever watched it, you must.  It’s on A&E and it’s MIND-BOGGLING.  I set up a series recording for it because it’s so magical.  I mean, ghosts who throw cheeseballs?  Taping ping pong balls over your eyes to communicate with spirits?  The jokes write themselves, people!  I’ll have to cover that one when it comes back.

Anyway, I was also excited to see them taking on all the celebrity deaths in such a funny way, and I was impressed that they even managed to include Patrick Swayze, since that was so recent.  And did Bea Arthur ever say anything?  I don’t think she did, but there was absolutely no mistaking who she was, and I thought that was perfect. 

I kept wondering when we’d see Michael Jackson, and I was glad we had to wait for it because it was really just so perfect.  All day today, I’ve been walking around, thinking to myself, “Noooo!  That’s ignorant!” 

And GOD, Toddlers & Tiaras.  WOW.  Talk about a show that was made for South Park, right?  I was glad that they got the flippers on there (for those of you who don’t spend crazy amounts of time watcing Toddlers & Tiaras, first of all, I just feel sorry for you, and secondly, flippers are those bizarro-looking fake teeth).  But the real magic there was to be had off-stage, with the pervy judges (because SERIOUSLY, you’ll be watching T&T and see the creepy judges and think, what the hell are these weirdo men doing here?), the trashy moms yelling from the crowd, and the child beating that you KNOW goes on backstage.  They even got the crown right.  I think Matt and Trey may share my fondness for old Toddlers & Tiaras.  Niiiiice.

But actually, the thing that might’ve cracked me up the most was the Chipotlaway, that gets the blood out of your underwear after you eat Chipotle.  The running Kyle and Cartman conversation about why you’d continue to eat something that makes you shit blood was amazing, but let’s face it, we all have places like that.  In Indianapolis (where I’m from, originally), there’s a restaurant called Yats–some of the best cajun food I’ve had (which granted, isn’t much), and we called it Shats, for what should be obvious reasons.  And I probably ate there at least once a week.  So I know how it goes.

Anybody else watch it?  Love it?  Things I missed?  Comments–I ain’t too proud to beg, y’all!

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