Cee Lo is emotional, y'all.

I abandoned my usual The Voice promo picture because this was too good to pass up. I just wish it was bigger (that’s what she said.)

Battle Round 4, aka dear Lord thank God it’s over night. Cee Lo is taking off his glasses to cry it out, Christina thinks America needs a hip-hop/country crossover (she’s wrong), Adam changes his mind when a song is poorly received, and Blake chooses reggae for a country singer (surprisingly it’s not a hot mess.)

TEAM CEE LO–James Massone VS WADE “True Colors”

Boston grease monkey vs the guy who changed up Amy Whinehouse’s Rehab. James doesn’t know the words and then he gets Ne-O (James apparently doesn’t like Ne-Yo that well.) He has no confidence and everyone knows it. Babyface thought Wade looked 12. What 12 year old can grow a faux-goatee? In the last rehearsal Wade is shaking like leaf and James has finally learned the words. It brings Cee Lo to tears, not the word learning, their entire performance. I am extremely distracted by James’ headband. That is a girl’s hair do, dude. Beside that distraction, the rest was a bit of a mess. They sounded terrible when they were “harmonizing” (I hate to even call it that.) They sounded fine alone. I guess if I had to pick one I’d go with the other judges and choose James. Can someone take a pair of clippers to his head, please? Cee Lo goes on and on about how he wanted Wade to win and go all the way. Through his tears he chooses James Massone.

TEAM ADAM–Nicolle Galyon VS Mathai “Love Song”

Piano player from Kansas! vs the defying her parents Indian daughter. Poor Nicolle has to play piano, sing, and compete with Mathai. She wears her Sunday best hat to sing for Robin Thicke. He calls her morning coffee on the veranda. I think that has a lot to do with the hat. Adam tells her she has a beautiful voice. He’s right. Mathai gets direction from Alanis though Adam doesn’t think she needs much coaching. You can tell who he wants to win this one. In the last rehearsal, Nicolle has to throw out her hours of practice on the piano because it’s not working. She is worried that she won’t be as effective without it. Mathai knows it’s a good thing for her. They are just completely different. I can hardly understand Mathai in parts. Her schtick is just that. I kinda feel that the way she sings will get old fast. Nicolle is breathy and obviously nervous. Blake said it was all about breathing and Nicolle was off. Christina thought Mathai was better. Cee Lo thought Nicolle’s singing was too straightforward and generic. Adam was disappointed with both of them. He thought it was better in rehearsals. He thought it was a good thing Nicolle stepped out from behind the piano but in the end it was Mathai joining Team Adam.

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Welcome folks to my 80th post on OCTV! It’s hard to imagine why SB has kept me around for this long. I don’t think it’s my number of hits, though I did hit it big with an X Factor video search for this guy, or particular brand of snark. It must be my willingness to do the reality shows no one else wants, hee! Enough of this, lets get to THE VOICE.

Randi, in the comments from last week, pointed out that this phase of the show seems to be dragging. I’m finding it hard to remember any of these singers from the Blind Auditions and am forgetting the ones that have won. Hopefully some of the artists tonight can get us all excited again.

TEAM ADAM– Pip VS  Nathan Parrett  ”You Know I’m No Good”

He of the the stupid name versus the gay parrot. (Seriously that’s the only way I could remember him. Oh, and Mr. Parrett, not cool shunning your very sweet, very cute son. NOT COOL!) Their voices seem to go together well. Pip is the clear favorite and he gets to hang with Alanis. He has to lose the theater-ness. Robin Thicke gives his best advice yet to Nathan. He is the nervous one with zero stage presence. From rehearsals Adam sees a lot of improvement from Nathan and it’s all even, um kay. Poor Nathan is so nervous he’s shaking. It’s almost like he’s afraid of his own voice. Pip handles the stage with ease. They both sounded good, but Pip sang Nathan under the table. Now if he could just get rid of that stupid name. They act like it was a tough choice, but Adam obviously chooses Pip.

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Pull on your leather hot pants and plop on your Jesus wig, it’s time for The Voice!

TEAM CHRISTINA–Geoff McBride VS Sera Hill “Chain of Fools”

Sunglasses indoors all the time (because of an eye injury, I know, I know) and Christina’s impromptu duet partner are facing off. Geoff gets to meet Lionel. Even Lionel is put off by the sunglasses. He suggests wearing contacts or something. Jewel is the “no emotion” police. She wants to FEEL dammit! Christina calls Sera’s runs “crispy.” Sera thinks her deep connection with Christina will make her a shoe-in. Doesn’t the girl know Christina was just loving Christina during the blind audition? You know Xtina loves to hear herself sing. They harmonized really well. As my husband said, though, Geoff didn’t get to sing as many of the good parts as Serah did. He did find some glasses that let us see his eyes. Cee Lo liked Geoff’s control. Blake wanted to pick who turned him on. Christina goes with her gut. SERA HILL

TEAM BLAKE–Charlotte Sometimes VS Lex Land “Pumped Up Kicks”

Two I don’t really remember. Charlotte is kinda, I don’t know, annoying? She says she’s not as good of a singer and Lex has bigger boobs. AWKWARD! Kelly Clarkson “gets” to listen to Charlotte. She says she likes her voice. I don’t believe her. Lex gets a huge compliment from Miranda. She is told her harmonies are awesome. I know which horse I’m backing. Product placement time! Apparently Miranda is the only one they can get to sling the Kias because once again she’s leaving a voicemail for the artist she mentored. Charlotte wants to win, win, win, win, win. I want her to lose, lose, lose, lose, lose! She of no chin irks me. Lex is super dressy, compared to Charlotte, and her alto is amazing. Charlotte’s hamming is only slightly totally annoying. Lex is my pick but Blake never sides with me. Christina calls Lex’s voice sexy. Cee Lo liked Charlotte. Adam chose Lex. Blake, par for the course, goes with CHARLOTTE SOMETIMES.

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Cue the dramatic music. The top 48 will now fight to the death  battle against one another. Each mentor has two superstar sidekicks to help in their mentoring. We’ll see Alanis Morisette, Robin Thicke, Miranda Lambert, Kelly Clarkson, Jewel, Lionel Ritchie, Babyface, and Ne-Yo give out sage advice. The star of the show tonight was….Xtina’s hat! That thing was bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

TEAM ADAM–Tony Lucca VS Chris Cauley “Beautiful Day”

Mickey Mouse versus the guy who use to sing with his grandma. Adam gives really good direction in their practice session. ALANIS! Excuse me while I bust out a little “You Oughta Know.” She is super chill and obviously cares more for the artist than being cool. *cough* Robin’s sunglasses inside *cough* Tony without his glasses makes them look similar. Chris is mugging way to much. Tony was amazing. They both sounded great, but Chris’ weird smiling and mugging was distracting. Tony edged out Chris in my book. Christina and Cee Lo pick Tony, Blake picks Chris. But it is all up to Adam. TONY LUCCA

TEAM BLAKE–Adley Stump VS RaeLynn “Free Fallin’”

Adley, she of the terrible hair, and Raelynn, who wears flowers in her hair, are extreme opposites. Except for country singers there’s not much they have in common. RaeLynn get to work with Miranda Lambert. How hard was it to get your wife to come in Blake? Miranda sounded awesome singing with RaeLynn. She also gives good advice. Adley gets Kelly Clarkson. This battle is a weird pairing and will test their ability to adapt. Wow. I thought the up do was bad on Adley. The battle look is somehow worse. It’s bad 80′s prom or 70s disco, or something equally awful. Little RaeLynn starts out a bit rough but gets better as the song goes on. Adley, I hate to pick on the girl, can’t harmonize or stay in key to save her life. She does have really good moments though. I have to admit, I’m not sure I’d pick either one. Christina, Cee Lo pick Adley. Adam doesn’t pick either and says it’s whatever Blake feels he needs. So he thought they were both bad. Blake goes with his gut. RAELYNN The man does love a unique tone.

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Tonight is the final few artists of round one. Who will complete the teams of 12?

Whitney Myer “No One”–Quirky little red head that has a band with her dad and uncle. She gets all four judges to turn around with Christina being the last to push her button. Adam says she reminds him of Mary J. Blake says he’s a fan whether or not she picks him. Adam tells her she can win the whole thing. Christina tries to plead her case but ultimately Whitney goes TEAM ADAM. 

David Dunn “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved”–The girls in the crowd go wild for the tall, cute boy. His dad might not approve but the ladies do. I’m surprised the coaches don’t turn around for that alone. Don’t they know who votes on this thing? Christina explains it doesn’t really matter what they think because he’s got fans in the audience. Can’t win ‘em all indeed, David.

The Sheilds Brothers “Dancing With Myself”–80′s flash back! All I could think was Flock of Seagulls! They live on a farm and dad wants to get them out of the house. Cee Lo pushes his button and then proceeds to sing along. Is it any surprise he knows every word? The audience loved it. Cee Lo is pumped to get them and the other judges point out he’s the perfect coach for them. TEAM CEE LO

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I was in Vegas until Monday night so I apologize this is so late. If you remember the show or even if you don’t, join me in a run down of the second to last blind audition round.

Ducky “Tighten Up”–Why is one name a thing now? Ducky has a mustache that he thinks is cool, but is really awful. No one turns around, but of course they regret it. Blake asks about the stache and whether it was a nod to Doc Holliday in Tombstone. Ducky says maybe, but he could really use a shot of sasparilla. Apparently that is the exact thing Blake has in his cup. Blake offers sassy ‘stache a drink and he takes one.

Jonathas “U Got it Bad”–Love the Usher, but again with the one name! Adam is convinced he’s black because he sounds just like Usher. It’s a wonder he didn’t yell out “He’s not black!” Cee Lo thought the producers were playing a trick on them and that he would turn around and see Usher. They compare watches, was that a really expensive watch? I didn’t think people still wore watches. Cee Lo and Christina turn around but there is only one that gave him a chubby in 5th grade. TEAM CHRISTINA

Monique Benabou “Mr. Know It All”–Monique is a pretty good singer even if no one is turning around. Finally Blake tells Christina “You could do something with her.” Christina turns and is the only one. TEAM CHRISTINA

Naia Kete ”The Lazy Song”– Naia gets the Carson sneak attack. She’s sounds a bit like Dia so it’s no surprise Blake turns around immediately. Cee Lo also pushes his button. Cee Lo gets the tables turned on him and she overtly flirts first. Christina sees the Dia-ness too. Cee Lo sees her voice as soothing and Blake sees it as exciting. So how does she see herself? TEAM BLAKE Cee Lo didn’t say the right things because she was originally going to go with Cee Lo.

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No preamble today. I was busy last night watching college basketball. The alma mater (University of Kansas) was taking on their in state rival (Kansas State University.) We won, but it was a bit of a close call. I watched most of the show in real time until the game started. I’m telling you, it’s torture. I don’t recommend it to anyone. On with the SHOW!

Sarah Golden “You and I”–First “viewer at home is blind too” performance. They were making a huge deal out of her nontraditional looks but she’s not hideous, geez! Where’s the snaggle tooth? The giant birthmark? The peg leg? I was expecting something good. Instead she’s an average American sized girl with a bit of a butch haircut. Nothing wrong with that. TEAM CEE LO

Elley Duhe “Mercy”–Parents homeschool her so she can pursue her music career. That totally means no one is going to pick her. Different tone to her voice, but I’m not sure its a good one. Adam loved her last note, but too late now. Bonus hug from Christina.

Pip “The House of the Rising Sun”–The kid is in a bow tie and only uses one name. I hate him already. It pains me to say he has a good voice. They fight hard over him. TEAM ADAM Read the rest of this entry »

Damn Blake is hella tall!

I’mmmm Baaaacccckkkk! Did you miss me? I didn’t think so, but I thought I’d ask, hee! I’m here to bring you all the snark you can handle pertaining to The Voice.

Finally my favorite singing competition is back. At first I thought I’d be burnt out after barely living through The X Factor, but all I needed was Adam and Blake to start bickering and I was right back in it. You won’t find L.A. calling Simon a Son of a Bitch and getting away with it. That’s why I love this show.

I did watch the episode after the Super Bowl, but missed the first few as I had to get home from a party. All I really remember is there was a Kansas dude I should like, because he’s from the homeland, but Opera’s not really my thing. Plus we all know Christina is going to go for the Divas. Oh, and there was the Mickey Mouse Club guy who has already had a song on Friday Night Lights. Poor Tony Lucca didn’t get recognized by Christina and they made her feel bad. Personally I don’t know if I’d recognize a guy I knew 15 years ago. Not everyone ages well and/or looks the same. Read the rest of this entry »