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This is 100% Barney’s episode.  After Daddy Eriksen’s sudden heart attack everyone decides to get checked out.  Barney’s appointment leads to a trip though his last 24 hours.  It just so happens to include his second date with Nora.  Barney shares in Nora’s white picket fence dreams.  The gang thinks he’s lying, and threaten to tell Nora.  He has the ultimate blackmail on everyone.  Lily and the guinea pig, Marshall and the calzone, Robin and the Mr. T dream, and Ted and the thermos.  They lie about Barney’s level of nice guy-ness.  When Nora finally invites Barney upstairs he tells her he was lying.  Lily knows that the real lie was at that moment.  We all know that the Barney of old would have tapped that ass then told her he was lying.  He obviously really likes her.  Barney goes to meet Nora and her parents.  We get a fake out of Barney being honest and sappy.  In reality he leaves without going into the restaurant.  Oh, the rest of the gang is having fun with Scooby, Robin’s new human/dog boyfriend.  It led to few good lines, but was secondary to Barney’s story.

“We’re all adults, I’ll just say it, behind Nora.”

“Yeah, penis feelings.”

Loved all of “I only have one rule” rules.

“Legend-wait for it-kachoo!”

“Robin, if you weren’t so much stronger than me, I’d slap you.”

My favorite of the dog puns: “You should be properly vet-ted.”

“We’re in our 30′s, we don’t smoke sandwiches anymore.”

“Sandwiches make me hungry.”

“Those twins won’t even be born for another … 32 years.”

What was your favorite dog pun?  Barney’s sick sounds were great and totally real.  Were you as skeeved out as I was that he wasn’t covering her mouth/nose?  ICK!!  Talk back in the comments!

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Dean Pelton is bulging with American pride in his "sister's" Uncle Sam costume.

I feel like a broken record, but another great night for NBC (well, The Office wasn’t as good as last week, but what could have been as good as Threat Level Midnight?).  I even really enjoyed Perfect Couples, you guys!

Perfect Couples

SB and I are usually totally N-sync, tv-wise (well, fictional tv anyway – she has a totally endearing love for reality that I just can’t get behind) so it concerned me that we had such a different opinion on this show.  After a promising first couple of episodes, I sort of cooled off for a bit, but I can safely say that I’m back on board the PC train.  I laughed a lot during this episode – I think it was partly the re-shuffling of the character pairings for the night that felt fresh, and allowed the mostly great actors on the show to really have some fun.  Dave and Vance’s fancy sleepover, Julia and Rex’s uber competitive tennis tourney, and Amy and  Julia bonding over the fact that their significant others are sort of also married to each other (spiritually, anyway).  I also really liked Rex and Julia’s sibling competitive-ness.  I’ve got a brother too, and we still revert to our teenage selves when we’re together, so I

  • Is he a dog, or do you just see a horizontal life force?
  • “Why didn’t we start a hedge fund?”  “We don’t really know what they are.”  “Oh yeah.”
  • Buncha dumb white snobs with their dumb white kids.
  • If I lived in Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa or California (pending appeal), maybe I would!
  • “Don’t be a wang.”  “You’re a wang.”
  • “It’s been 18 hours since you called me stupid.”  “Hey, it’s been 18 hours since you’ve been stupid.”
  • Check you on the flipside.

Community

Fuck yeah, Eliza Coupe!  I know a bunch of you were watching Scrubs: The New Class with us until it was yanked, and we were all big fans of Coupe as the snarktastic Denise (god, I miss that show.  Is that weird?  I miss Denise and Drew and AssCole so much.  But not Lucy because she was terrible).  Also, she’s awesome on Twitter.  So great to see her back on tv.

It needs to be said that Jeff Winger has an amazing wardrobe.  I know it’s all part of his douche-ness, but dude has  a serious leather jacket collection, and he wears them damn well.  Unfortunately, McHale’s brushed-forward Soup ‘do followed him to the Community set, and it did it’s best to counter the powers of the jacket.  I really hope it’s not permanent.

In  a great episode (any Dean Pelton episode is destined for greatness), one of the definite highlights was Troy and Abed’s Daily Show-style video.  There was far too much awesome packed into it to mention, but if you didn’t spend five minutes re-watching it to read each graphic including the scroll on the bottom like I did, you must.  It’s so worth it.

Magnitude is apparently a teen genius (he’s only 16); Greedale’s answer to Doogie Howser.  I like the refreshing take on the cliché – not all braniacs want to go to Harvard; I bet some want to become digital animators or funeral directors.   Lastly, oh, my god.  Jeff’s 1997 audition tape for The Real World Seattle (the one where Stephen bitch-slapped lyme disease-infected Irene!) was a thing of beauty.  McHale + Faith = Stunning.  Pierce – still a dick though, in case you were wondering.

Lot’s more after the jump:

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So, all of the couples were fighting or trying to avoid a fight last night, which I guess isn’t much of a departure from normal, at least for Jay, Gloria, Mitchell and Cam.  Claire and Phil only seem to fight 3/4 of the time (when they aren’t having sex in front of their kids).  Jay bought Gloria a karaoke machine and lived to regret it because her voice is like nails on a chalkboard in a room filled with 1,000 alarm clocks set to ‘buzzer’ beside a howler monkey exhibit at the zoo.  As in, it’s bad.  And loud.  Claire and Phil destroyed their kitchen in a huge fight about …something.  Phil has no idea and spends the rest of the episode trying to figure it out.  And Mitchell forgot to send out the invitations to Cam’s big charity event, taking place that night.    

I’m choosing to believe that Sofia Vergara really can’t sing for shit, because a person is not allowed to be that hot, that funny, that successful AND a good singer.  It’s like John Mayer.  He’s (often) hot, generally funny, and objectively a talented, successful musician, but he’s saddled with a racist penis, poor guy.  There is always a flaw. 

Cleavage and sex massages after the jump:

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Hong Kong 2021, Ted is met by the waitress (even I can’t remember her name) and it of course leads to a story.  Ted finds out he’s the bad guy who broke up a marriage.  Barney, with the help of Robin, finally admits he likes Nora.  Lily is sexually frustrated and Marshall, once again, wants to quit his job and save the environment.  My favorite thing from the whole episode was finding out Ted and Zoey end very badly.  That should be fun to watch.  Oh, and I really want a hologram phone though it might make it hard for my husband to talk to people while on the toilet.

“She had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don’t chase.”

“…a real man’s man”  “Like Prince!”

“Wow, that was a joke.  You just got here.”

“With great penis, comes great responsibility”

“Fast ball right down the middle, actually if I recall correctly a slight curve.”

As you can see not a whole lot of laughs.  Anything I missed?  What wouldn’t you be able to do if hologram phone materialized? Comments!

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There’s too much to say about each of the episodes on their own, so rather than doing a big intro, I’m just going to jump into it with a mini-recap/review for each one, plus of course my favorite quotes.  But suffice it to say, NBC has been on a major roll lately (with the four main shows anyway), and last night the trend continued in a big way.  I really wanted to get a shot of Jim/Goldenface speed-skate-shooting with Michael Scarn for the post, but alas, we’ll have to settle for a shot of The Scarn in action.  But a little further down there’s a nice shot of Jim as Goldenface because that was incredible – I didn’t realize how much I missed Jim’s old hair until last night. 

Perfect Couples

So, I debated with myself whether to continue watching this show to include it in this post, but I ended up giving in.  I’m not going to lie – I thought it was pretty weak overall.  But, they did earn points by highlighting T. Rex’s ‘20thCentury Boy’, which is just an awesome song and automatically earned the show twenty cool points.  But the episode was just…meh.  Gender roles, gender roles, gender roles, possum, possum, possum, food poisoning.  That about sums it up.  I don’t know, you guys.  I like the cast (except, of course, Olivia Munn – sorry Andy), but the show is not really making me laugh very much.  And when you compare it to its peers, it just doesn’t hold a candle.  If I’m going to embrace another show about 30-something friends dealing with life, love and friendship, I’m partial to Traffic Light (Tuesdays, Fox, 9:30pm).  This one might not make it into the lineup every Thursday.  What do you guys think?  Is there anyone who’s really enjoying it?  Let me know in the comments.  

  • We’re never going to be better.  This is how we are now.
  • Ahhh, I sure wish a fire could start in that hole somehow.
  • I’m gonna call Amy.  She’s an expert on all things hick.
  • Look at us, taking care of business, using ladders.  Put the two of us together we’re like my dad.

Community

I really loved this episode which surprised me, given how Pierce (and therefore Chevy Chase) heavy it was.  I’ve said it before, but I kind of hate him on this show.  As a huge fan of the Vacation movies and SNL, this pains me.  But dude has gotten seriously annoying with age.  That being said, I really loved the documentary style of the episode, and it was so funnydespite the heavier moments, mostly thanks to Jeff and Britta’s juvenille bickering.  One thing I love about Community is that it’s not afraid to not be funny all of the time; it lets itself go really sentimental and dramatic at times, which is needed in a show that’s so out there.  It really helps the viewer get to know the characters and feel emotionally invested in them even when they’re doing things like fighting off zombies and building elaborate blanket fort cities.  I also really love that they’ve embraced experimenting with various gimmicks like bottle episodes, animation and horror movies.  I kind of can’t wait for the ‘traditional sitcom complete with laugh track’ episode – you know it’s coming. 

Much, much more after the jump…

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Phil and Robbie whip out the ruler.

The Dunphy/Pritchett/Delgado-Pritchett/Tucker fam all attended a princess party to celebrate Lily’s first birthday and of course, chaos ensued. I do love when the whole family is together at a function because everybody in the cast works well together and I love mixing up the groupings for some new perspective.  Although I could have done with more party, less lead-up. 

Last night saw the return of Shelly Long as Jay’s ex-wife Deedee. She showed up with Claire’s ex-boyfriend Robbie from high school on her arm, played by Matt Dillon in a role that either showed what a great actor he is, or how far he’s fallen on the sexy scale, despite the abs, hair and limo. He’s the first person on the show who’s been able to match Julie Bowen’s crazy cokehead vibe though, so at least he had that going for him. As a viewer though, the two together made me feel so twitchy I almost started grinding my jaw.

We almost saw the return of Fizbo, the awesome clown who can warm children’s hearts one minute and defend his boyfriend from a dillhole bully the next. Alas, we didn’t see him on camera, which was probably for the best because Fizbo’s last appearance was so great. As we saw last week, bringing back an old joke (Clive Bixby) is almost never as funny the second time. But we did meet Fizbo’s English court jester counterpart, who was truly delightful (though it’s doubtful even he would have garnered much of a reaction from the always stonefaced Lily – she doesn’t have time for that kind of tomfoolery).

My favorite lines of the night:

  • Gun to my head, I’d say…pull the trigger.
  • Cue gasp…
  • “What kind of voice is that?” “I’m a bear.” “A bear? I was going to get a crucifix.”
  • There goes the theory that an English accent makes everyone sound smart.
  • Every time he opens his mouth I can feel my daughters losing respect for me.
  • “Who is Alex Trebek?” “He’s a game show host, why?” “Never mind.”
  • What, I’m going to miss Alex’s graduation, all of Haley’s weddings, because of Deedee?
  • No my god!
  • We had a long talk last night after you and I ‘split’ that bottle of wine and you ‘fell asleep’ on the stairs.

What did you guys think of “Princess Party”?

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It’s Valentine’s on HIMYM.  No one’s really excited.  Marshall is in Minnesota because he doesn’t want to face the reality of his Dad’s death.  Lily is loving up on a body pillow cause she misses Marshall.  Ted and Zoey are moving too slow and then too serious.  Robin puts together the Single Girls, we are Queens, Dammit! Sisterhood.  Barney’s celebrating yet another made up holiday.  My favorite part…Barney meets an AWESOME girl!  Nora sweeps in with her love of Valentine’s Day and British accent and I’m in total like.

  • Private Booty Calling for duty
  • …she invents a respectable excuse to mask the fact that she wants to get stuck real good.  It’s called class, Ted.
  • February 13th, Desperation Day.

<Flash back to the birth of St. Valentine’s Day….>

  • Her body is a perfect X.
  • …high V.
  • And I thought Pompeii was burning.
  • I call him Marsh-pillow and he calls me…nothing because he’s a pillow.
  • Hey Mom, I hate to be that guy but I’m pretty sure it was Hot Pocket o’clock like ten minutes ago.
  • It is like being a hunter and having the deer walk up, tie it’s self to the hood of your car, and beg to get mounted.
  • This is Barney a high functioning sociopath and also my ex.
  • Gerard is real!
  • Um?  Is it getting crowded in here cause I think there are two peas in this pod!
  • A couple of white Urkels offer you sausages and you’re gone?
  • You have neither gone nor come.

So, do you like Nora?  Ever belonged to a Sisterhood?  (In college I was one of those that got a group of friends together, went out to dinner, got a hotel room for a massive slumber party, and talked about how much we hated V-Day.  We called it Anti-Valentine’s Day…HA!)  How did you spend Desperation Day?

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Captain Mustache and the she-devil make it legal.

It was an A+ night for NBC (well, just counting the four main shows – Perfect Couples was fine, I suppose but you can’t put it in with these other shows and expect it to stand out).  The night went less well for my home and native land, as three of the four episodes attacked either Canada, or mid-nineties novelty bands hailing from Canada.  But, if you’re a fan of men carrying smaller men like babies, this was the night for you.

Let’s get Perfect Couples out of the way, and then break down the most consistently great night of comedy NBC has aired in a while.

Perfect Couples

I want to like it more; I keep saying this, and I mean it.  But this episode was probably the most ‘meh’ so far.  If you read my post on the pilot of Traffic Light that aired this week after Raising Hope on Fox, this type of show CAN be done really well.  Traffic Light is the same idea of friends in different stages in their relationships, with equally likable leads, but it’s MUCH funnier.  As a bonus, Olivia Munn is not in that cast.  I’d be very happy if we could transplant it into PC’s timeslot – it would make NBC Thursdays 5/6 fantastic.  Alas, PC is in this timeslot, so we’ll just continue to hope that the quality starts to approach that of it’s counterparts.

  • Ugly girls don’t say ‘hiyee!’; they know they can’t pull it off.
  • Ever hear of the internet?  That’s what a sophisticated millionaire looks like now.
  • That was you?  Man, I thought I made a black friend.
  • Geez Julia, ever try to not like one of Ken’s status updates?
  • Let’s talk about butts.  May we stare at them?

Community

The students of Greendale learned a lot about themselves in this episode.  Troy and Abed started out competing for the affection of a cute librarian, Troy won, and then realized that he could never love someone who didn’t love Abed as much as he did.  Britta learned that she’s so focused on living a PC life that she’s become a less genuine person.  She hangs out with a new girl thinking she’s a lesbian, except she’s not – she’s just a wannabe like her who thinks hanging out with a gay makes her cool.  I loved that Annie and the other girl’s Annie just observed from the sidelines instead of clueing them in.  Jeff, in a night away from his usual cohorts, learned that he LIKES that the group relies on him, and misses them when they don’t.  He also learned a lot about the students of Greendale who AREN’T a part of the study group.  Although all I could think was how pissed they’d all be that he had people over and didn’t call them.  You know they’re going to take that personally.  Pierce learned that…too many pills are bad.  I don’t know – much like his classmates, I don’t pay too much attention to Pierce.

  • …and in summation, good luck, and bon appetit.
  • Okay, they’re BNL now.  We need a shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies, that’s how fundamental they are.
  • I’ll see you precisely at 6:30, or as the English call it, gravedigger’s biscuits.
  • This is the cutest thing that’s ever happened to me.  (High five)
  • “In England doesn’t fanny mean vagina?”  “In England everything means vagina.”
  • Who the hell is Nicholas Nicholby?  She wouldn’t shut up about it.
  • My whole life is in this dishwasher, man!

The Office, Parks & Rec and 30 Rock after the jump…

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The Pritchetts and the Dunphys celebrated Valentine’s Day again, and for Claire and Phil, that meant a return of Clive Bixby, Phil’s turtleneck-wearing speaker salesman alter ego.  I’m not going to lie – last year’s Clive and Julianna story was much funnier than this year’s, but there were still some laughs to be had.  Cam and Mitchell spent the episode in a battle of the egos trying to figure out who Mitchell’s assistant was crushing on.  Jay and Gloria both tried to win the holiday, and Gloria came out on top because while Jay is romantic, she’s smarter than him, and that’s what matters.  Lastly, Manny ate up all of Luke’s screentime trying to woo his step-niece Haley, but it was all for naught because in the best part of the episode, Dylan returned with a grandiose street performance of an original song imploring Haley to “picture me naked”.  Dylan is pretty much the emo teenage version of Luke, so of course I’m happy to see him back in the picture.

Some of my favorite quotes from the episode:

  • “You know I can’t stand it when you use that word.”  “Sorry, she lost her underpanties.”
  • We walk through the door and BAM!  She looks like a big idiot, and isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?
  • Gasp.  I’m shocked.
  • Does that man have red hair and a beard?  No, but his boyfriend does.
  • Oh, pretty and smart.  Or should I say, pretty smart.
  • Did you see the hands on our waiter?  He looked like he’d been birthing hogs.
  • An angel from heaven saved the night.  A big, gay angel.
  • I’m the second wife Jay.  Why do you treat me like I’m the first?
  • “You can’t win Valentine’s Day.”  “Shut up, I win.”
  • I haven’t been single since I was nine.

What did you guys think of Clive and Juilanna 2.0?  Are you excited Dylan’s back?  Do you hate the word panties as much as Claire does?  (I do – it’s right up there with moist and lover in terms of words that skeeve me out)  What were your favorite moments?  Hit the comments!

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Guys, I really, really liked this episode.  I’m on record as being a Zoe hater mainly because they didn’t do a very good job of making us like her in the beginning.  She’s like a whole different person now.  I’ve decided to pretend we met her the Thanksgiving episode.  She’s not the Mother, but hopefully we can get some good laughs out of her.  But, I digress.   I enjoyed watching everyone call Marshall and his inability to not answer the phone and always being polite.  Loved the quotability this week.  Feast your eyes on these.

-I thought the oven was Celsius. (Can our Canadian friends commiserate?)

-Cute, means fat*cough*, not fat, means ugly*cough*, I take back everything I said.  That girl is extremely attractive *cough* *cough* *cough*

-… he even installed a security camera in my shower!  Oh, Honey!

-He’s GAY!  -Loved the delivery of Marshall’s mom

I immediately yelled INTERVENTION TIME!  (one of my favorite running gags.)

-Lily thought coffee breath, Robin thought shoulder hair, and Barney thought Ted’s lady watch.

-Blah, blah, something about a bridge.   –Ted to Honey in Barney’s version.

-erh, ee, erh, ee, erh, ee, erh, ee, erh, ee, erh, ee, erh, ee, erh, ee, erh, ee, erh, ee

-He fell on his sword, so she could fall on mine.

-Hurts don’t it. (In a Minnesotan accent.)

-We hate Ted now.  Get on board or the sexting stops.

-I hate you … biitchh.

What did you guys think?  Any other good ones?  Share in the comments!

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