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Arrow: Come before Oliver Queen gets off.

November 7, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | 6 comments

Hi guys! You mad at me? Sorry I missed last week…I was a mess. Dental issues & pain meds led to a very loopy/nappy Erin.

My plan was to regroup this week….re-watch ‘An Innocent Man’, give you a couple of paragraphs on it & then move on to this week’s ‘Damaged’ but, I just can’t. First, because it seems like so long ago…you’ve all seen it, reviews/recaps have been done, you’ve all discussed it to death, I’m sure & it feels a little ridiculous to revisit it. (Unless there are things you NEED to tell me about…things I HAVE to know…feel free to go nuts in the comments!) Second, I really did feel like shit last week…mouth pain is the worst. I mean, it’s probably not really THE worst…but it sucks…because it’s all in your head…not figuratively. You know? So, it could’ve just been the fact that I was totally miserable & a little spacey but I didn’t love last week’s episode. I didn’t love it enough that it made me cringe thinking about re-watching it. So I didn’t. But, here are the few thoughts I had on it…

  • For the record, in the “previouslies”, no matter how many times I see the salmon ladder, I will ALWAYS be impressed/mesmerized/drooling.
  • I was SUPER happy to see Felicity Smoak back. She’s delightfully adorkable. I love it.
  • What is going on with Moira having the Queen’s Gambit wreckage in that warehouse??
  • I think I loved the Oliver/Dig stuff but I can’t really remember specific details. #Tyleonl3’s
  • How the hell is Oliver getting out of this arrest when Det. Lance has video of him picking up his hood & shit from that stairwell??

I’m sure there was other stuff…I just can’t remember. You don’t mind if we move on to this week’s episode, right?

Cool.

 

Read the rest of this entry »

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Vampire Diaries: Yours is better than Stefan’s.

October 26, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | 2 comments

Well…I can’t say I was as “OMG I love every second of this episode” about ‘The Rager’ as I was about ‘Memorial’…still, I loved this episode.

I’m not sure where to start with this one so, perhaps, we should just jump right in?

  • I keep seeing people complaining about the new opening but I don’t get it…I mean, usually I barely watch it, I’m just patiently waiting for the actual show to start…but, I think the new format gives a great overview of the basics that any newcomer would need to know along with actual clips of stuff that JUST happened during the previous episode. I like it.
  • We open with Tyler pretending to sleep off his gunshot wound in the hospital and all I can think once he opens his eyes is that his crazy-eye look needs some work. He should talk to Season 2 Damon.
  • I do NOT like this hunter guy at all. That needle to the gums thing…first of all, I couldn’t figure out WTF he was doing…second of all, totally uncalled for. I am terrified of needles. I didn’t need to see that. I have a dentist appointment on Monday. Those of you who follow me on Twitter know that this will be my 157th dentist appointment since August…that’s only a slight exaggeration. I am not a fan of the dentist and Connor did nothing to help. I have no idea where I was going with this…just so you know.
  • More Connor. #1 – he’s a gross eater. He did not need THAT big of a piece of apple in his face all at once. #2 – I’d hazard a guess that having a chemistry lab in an RV (was it an RV? whatever.) is a bit of a safety risk.
  • It’s not only weird to me that while Elena’s snacking on Matt in their old makeout spot there’s absolutely NObody milling about the school yard or the parking lot in the background…right? I mean, I know school in Mystic Falls is a joke in and of itself but if they’re going to go through with keeping it as part of the set you’d think they’d at least make it at least a little realistic. They couldn’t find one extra who was available to play the part of “kid running from his car ‘cuz he’s late for class”?
  • Also, why are they trusting the baby vamp with procuring her own snacks already with zero supervision? Why is nobody there just in case she decides to make Matt an all you can eat buffet? Read the rest of this entry »

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Arrow: I guess from now on I’ll be watching you pee.

October 25, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | 16 comments

Okay guys, I’m keeping this one short(ish) & sweet. Mainly because I was a little confused for a good part of the episode.

Let me start with this week’s amellyfact…

“The Felicity Smoak sequence was filmed in the CBC buildings in Vancouver and the wall climbing sequence used a wife for safety, not assistance.”

First: I’ve only been to Vancouver once. I wasn’t in love with it but I have plans to go back & give it another chance. Not that you guys care about that…my point is that I don’t know Vancouver well (or at all, really) so I don’t know where the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) buildings are or if there’s serious relevance beyond it just being cool that the CW shot our Canadian boy in the offices of a Canadian TV network that doesn’t air the show…I’m probably thinking way too hard about this. Or not hard enough.

Second: For clarity, I copied this amellyfact directly from Stephen’s email…the typo is his. I included it ‘cuz I’m an asshole but also because I thought it was funny. Seriously, if safety wives are a thing I want to know where to apply. I probably wouldn’t mind them using me.

Obviously he meant they used a wire for safety. The wire sounds less comfortable than a wife. Read the rest of this entry »

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Vampire Diaries: This Seat’s Taken

October 19, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | 20 comments

You guys, I’m nervous. SB is so good at this and we all love reading her stuff but she needs a break to do stuff and I get that and I’m totally excited for her just doing…stuff…but, well…I’m no SB. I’m relatively new at this whole recap game and I have my own style…which isn’t entirely original but it works for me…so, all I can promise is that I’ll do my best to not sully SB’s recap writing reputation & hopefully you won’t be too mad at her for letting me take over for now…cool?

Some quick info on where I stand in the fandom?

  • I love Damon. That doesn’t mean I don’t love Stefan…I do. So much. Just, if I had to choose it’d definitely be Damon.
  • I don’t “ship” anybody with anybody. I hate that term…I don’t really know why, it’s not a big deal…it’s just a word. Still, it bugs me. I’d like to see Damon with Elena…even if only for a little while…just because I’d like to see Damon happy for a minute. Although, I’m not entirely certain I get why he thinks SHE’d make him happy. If I were a guy I think she’d make me mental.
  • I’d also like to see Caroline with Klaus. It’s obviously a bad boy with a sensitive side thing. She & Matt bored me to tears…that’s probably not a popular opinion. She & Tyler are just whatever (eloquent, right?). Tyler’s neither here nor there for me but Trevino’s portrayal of Tyler has completely floored me.  He’s more amazing than I ever would’ve expected.
  • Really…I’d just like to see everybody with everybody. I’m an equal opportunist.
  • I love Caroline. How can you not? She’s my next favourite after Damon. Just in case you’re keeping tabs.
  • Elijah is everything.
  • And…other stuff…it’s a big show with a great cast & great characters so yeah, there’s lots more. I’m sure my likes/dislikes will come across in my recap(s). I’m not really good at hiding my thoughts or pandering to people’s delicate sensibilities.  I hope you don’t mind.

Previously on the Vampire Diaries:

Meredith thought she was doing a good thing by helping to heal Elena but Rebekah’s a bitch so THAT didn’t work out; Bonnie was useless some more; Elena loves everybody (by everybody I mean Stefan AND Damon); Klaus was inside Tyler…not necessarily in the way that some of us would want…but now he’s out…of Tyler, I mean; Matt was happy to die…nobody wants to let him; creepy Pastor Young, well within regular laws of regular cities, arrested everybody (by everybody I mean the Sheriff & the Mayor) and then killed a room full of people and I’m not entirely certain what went on there…was he compelled? Do we know? Did I miss something? Will we ever know? Read the rest of this entry »

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Arrow: I’m Kinda Famous Right Now

October 18, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | 12 comments

I really want to love this show. You know I do. I’m just not totally there yet. It has some really fantastic moments and then some “OMG what am I watching” moments…the thing is, it’s not just about this show…it’s kind of about me being a hypocrite/jackass and not giving the show a break when it comes to those “Okay that could NEVER happen!” moments. I just have issues with every show/movie I see where people are outrunning machinegun fire.

Look, my favourite guilty pleasure show is The Vampire Diaries…which, I shouldn’t even have to say it’s a “guilty pleasure” like it’s something to be embarrassed about ‘cuz it’s a really great, well written, amazingly acted show, but I digress, the point is: it’s clear I’m not looking for total realism from my shows. It’s just that one of the things I kept reading about Arrow was that it’s not a typical superhero with super powers show…just a man with heightened skills. Or something to that effect. So, I can totally buy into the crazy ass, extreme parkour of it all and the amazing fight scenes and the fantastic strength and accuracy with which he’s able to throw butter knives…I’ll just never buy into the outrunning machine guns thing.

Okay, let me get on with this… Read the rest of this entry »

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Arrow: A nutbar in a green hood.

October 11, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | 28 comments

Those of you who know me know that there has been a long documented account of Stephen Amell’s crush on me. That is to say, I’ve been documenting it and he hasn’t been denying it so it’s obviously true. He & I got off to a bumpy start back in his TVD Brady days but we made up & have been the objects of each other’s affection ever since. Or something like that. Probably nothing like that, really, but that’s not important.

The point is, as soon as Arrow got picked up I pretty much begged to do this recap. I mean, it started as a joke on Twitter…me babbling about doing a recap for the show that would go something like “Abs, abs, abs. Shoulders.” Then I got introduced to SB (how we didn’t already know each other is a mystery) and it wasn’t just a joke anymore…now, here we are. Dreams DO come true!!

That said, I’m a little afraid. I know nothing about Arrow…other than the background we’ve been given through the promos. I’m not a comic book kinda girl…it’s not my thing. Seriously, the only thing getting me to watch this show is Amell. (no pressure, Superstar!) I really wanted to go into it with an open mind…no preconceived notions. I mean, it’s not like you’re counting on me for crazy character studies & background info from the DC world…right? You’re here for my snarkful observations and to catch me drooling over Absmell (I hate myself)…right?! Drool with me, won’t you? Read the rest of this entry »

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Sons of Anarchy: The Bigger Picture Was Pussy

September 19, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | No comments

Previously on SoA: Opie shot Clay (finally SOMEbody shot Clay); Jax needs Opie; Opie needs time; Gemma’s not making all the decisions for everybody everywhere anymore and she doesn’t like it; Gemma’s knockin’ boots with somebody she doesn’t remember (yeah, I just said “knockin’ boots…whatever…also, Hey! Jimmy Smits!); home invasions are going down in Charming…but only to SAMCRO members which is a serious bizarre coincidence; Tig ran Damon Pope’s daughter over; Damon Pope had Tig’s very alive daughter SET ON FIRE IN FRONT OF TIG!!! So, you know…just another day in Charming and the surrounding ‘hoods.

Now, this week – Authority Vested (ha!):

  • We open with the Sheriff paying Opie a late night booty call…but he’s looking for Jax…which would be my play too. Personally.
  • Jax, Chibs & Bobby are hanging at Nero’s whorehouse. As you do.
  • I’m super curious about what Nero’s angle is. He’s got to have one, no? He can’t just be a reformed gangbanger, current pimp with a heart of gold and an eye for looking out for felonious bikers who are currently wanted for murder, right? And, it can’t be to get on Gemma’s good side…’cuz clearly he’s been all over her good side. Apparently Jax is curious too…we know this ‘cuz he specifically asks Nero…we don’t get much more than “you know, maybe you can help ME out one day”…whatever, I suppose we’ll all find out together.
  • Poor Unser…that looks uncomfortable. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you disobeyed Clay and he beat the fuck out of you too…but no, just another home invasion and you were the unlucky bastard feeding Gemma’s bird (not a euphemism). Read the rest of this entry »

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Sons of Anarchy: Oh Jesus. I did a spic pimp.

September 12, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | 5 comments

Did you know that I recently became obsessed with Sons of Anarchy? Also, Jax Teller. Obviously. I mean, if you follow me on Twitter you can’t possibly have missed it unless you don’t really pay that much attention to me on Twitter. Which…ouch…but, whatever.

My point: despite me blaming the girls on my TL for not making me watch sooner, they really have been talking about it for a long time. I just ignored it…didn’t think it was for me. And then, I went to Atlanta with these bitches & they totally convinced me I needed to try it. I bought Season 1 last Thursday. Then, on Friday, I bought Season 2 & 3. On Saturday afternoon I bought Season 4.

From 3.2 minutes into the 1st episode of the 1st season, I was hooked. I mean, Jax hooked me. I mean, I’d like him to hook me. I don’t know what that means. Bottom line…it’s so. fucking. good. (heads up…I may swear a lot here…more than usual, methinks…you’ll deal, yeah?) Read the rest of this entry »

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The Glades. Weird place to stick someone.

August 13, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | 5 comments

I did it!! I made it through my first season of recapping a show!! In all fairness it IS only a 10 episode per season show and I DID have one minor hiccup (technical difficulties) with the 3rd episode and ended up combining Ep. 3 & 4…but whatever…you can’t take this victory away from me!! I did it!!

Look, I got laid off & am not finding ANYthing remotely resembling a half decent job so I need to celebrate where I can…so you’re celebrating with me! Okay?

Now, on with ‘Endless Summer’.

(Sidenote: I really wanted to title this “She has a nasty gash in her upper leg” thanks to Carlos but I thought that may have been taking things a little too far.)

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The Glades: Nice Legs, Perky Ass. That’s All I Remember.

August 6, 2012 in off-color commentary by erintalkscrap | 6 comments

Happy Last Recap Before the Finale!! Not that I’m happy the season’s over. Look…I know my recaps haven’t really been all hearts & flowers but that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish there were more than 10 episodes to a season…I still really love the basics of the show…the core relationships…I’d like more time with them. Seriously.

I’m going to do the same thing as last week…my reactions as I was watching. I presume that’s fine with you guys?

  • We start with some weird scuba diving extras coming out of murky water talking about coral reef conservation. Would there be coral reef in that water? Is there coral reef in a murky lake? Was it just a lake? A stream? I know nothing about marine biology. Or stuff.
  • When are chicks in bikinis gonna learn to NOT go off on their own to purify their water (not a euphemism).
  • All of a sudden we’ve switched to an episode of CSI where she’s conveniently discovering blood drops in mud which lead her directly to the dead body o’ the week.
  • I LOVE this Callie/Carlos conversation…Carlos all reassuring Callie about her studies and her brain seizing and that’s normal!! I miss their interactions! And, playful Jim jumping for the phone and just wanting to talk to his girlfriend…but then…she’s gotta go? How does she not make a little time for some Jim phone lovin’??
  • WAIT!!! Did she actually just dismiss Jim and hang up on him altogether? Nuh uh. Bad form, Cal. Not cool.
  • And, of course…Jim looks up from Callie hanging up on him and who’s right there? The Bureau Chief. Will my “I’m hating her a little bit less than usual” semi-reprieve from last week continue? With this development, methinks notsomuch.
  • “And his luck just ran out.” – Jim
  • We got another Horatio Caine-esque cheesy line but no dramatic donning of the shades before the title card. You gotta do both, Jim, or it just doesn’t count. Read the rest of this entry »

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