Articles by Christina

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MY LUKETONIUM! NOOOOOOO!

You guys. I don’t know if it’s because I woke up an hour later than I intended to, or because I was having an awful work dream, or because I’ve just had an emotionally draining week, but I watched last night’s Modern Family this morning… and I did not really enjoy it at all. I don’t really know what the deal is with this show, but, you guys, it’s changed. It is not the show I started watching mid-Season 2 and went back to Season 1 and DEVOURED because it was so fucking funny. I think it boils down to this: It used to be a sitcom that did new and inventive things, or at least the same sitcom-y things in new and inventive ways that made once-hackneyed storylines seem new and refreshing and hilarious again. But now… recently, it’s just become a sitcom. It has its moments, but more and more I feel like it’s run out of ideas. Or at least run out of ways to transform these ideas. That’s why I titled it with the quote I did. Last night’s ep just wasn’t Modern Family.

I will admit that the parenting argument between Claire and Cam was pretty entertaining, especially given the parenting article I read just yesterday, despite the fact that, you know, I don’t have kids. But there were two things about the episode that just… didn’t do it for me. One was something we’ve seen time and time again, and I’ve mentioned it before, and the other completely took me out of the episode. So much so, that I can’t even give y’all my typical recap. I have thoughts, and they need to get out.

First of all, what we’ve all seen before. Basically this moral of this episode is “try to see things from their eyes.” You know, don’t be quite so selfish and try to see how others might see a situation. Claire didn’t agree with Cam’s “never say no” parenting “technique,” Gloria was jealous of this waitress who worked at a diner whom everyone else in the family adores and seems to know Jay on a person (but not carnal, as far as I can tell) level, and Phil had to “fire” Mitchell from a favor he was doing for Phil’s firm. They all took it personally, and there were definitely funny moments. But when the episode culminates in people pairing off and being the voice of reason to the other person… and then having them all show up at the diner to eat Jay Pritchett sandwiches (which sound disgusting, by the way, especially since Gloria describes it like so: “It’s like a fish and a turkey beat themselves with a pepper.” Gross.), was exactly what we all expected to happen, and it wasn’t even that heartwarming. This show can DO heartwarming. It has done it SO WELL in the past, but this episode had no fire – except the one Luke started and extinguished. The chats were all… typical, and expected.

And maybe I’m just expecting too much from this show, or something. Maybe I’m wanting it to be something that it’s not. And I know that not every single episode is going to be a goddamn gem, but this show had TWO seasons that were not this predictable. And what’s worse is that I feel like the characters have kind of become caricatures of themselves. That’s not always a bad thing, and we don’t see it in every episode. But it’s like when we get handfuls of episodes where Mitchell has issues with his childhood and Jay. Of COURSE this is realistic. Daddy issues don’t go away overnight. I know this. But when we get the same story line over and over and over again and drama and hurt feelings and blah blah blah, but it’s all going to be resolved in a hug. It doesn’t work for me anymore. These kinds of sitcoms don’t work for me. Modern Family has become… *gulp*… formulaic. And I hate it. Read the rest of this entry »

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Om nom nom

“He stripped off his skin and tossed it into the fire and he was in human form again.”

THAT’S WHAT I’M TAKING ABOUT! Friday’s episode was back in form, and I’m so fucking excited. Not that I had any doubt that it would be, but you guys… when an episode – especially an episode of Grimm – is this good… God, it just makes me so happy. These are my favorite episodes: when the story is about Nick, and throw in some Eddie playing detective for good measure, and then some Wesen just happen to get involved. That’s great. Also, having the psychiatrist say that shit about Nick’s inner self coming out whether he wants it to or not? Awesome. I think we’ve been seeing some of this come through, and honestly, Nick being all Grimm-y is a badass. I’m looking forward to seeing it come out even more.

So the episode. This episode was filled with information. But the interesting thing is that it was information that was really only relevant to this episode and the Wildermänner (I’m assuming this is the plural. It’s fun to say, regardless), but in this recapper’s opinion, it was a damn interesting Wesen, so all information was appreciated. Also, the fairytale that this was based on, “Hans My Hedgehog” is one of my favorite Grimm tales. Mostly because it ends with a really hot dude, but also because Hans is scary and does not fuck around. The Wesen in this episode doesn’t really turn out the way of ol’ Hans, but… still. It was pretty awesome.

So basically, the episode starts like the fucking Blair Witch Project. The two guys and a girl are hunting Bigfoot. And they find him. In a big way. Like, he comes at them bro, and throws one of them at a tree. Luckily, the dude’s handheld recorded the whole thing for posterity. Also, the police. Read the rest of this entry »

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So, as you’ve probably noticed, I was a bit fail with last week’s Modern Family recap. But it wasn’t my fault! My POS DVR decided last Wednesday that it didn’t feel like recording Modern Family. I don’t normally watch it live, so I didn’t notice until 9:03, so I scrambled to start the recording when the apocalypse hit. My DVR crashed. And proceeded to try to reboot itself for the next 45 minutes. *Sigh* But, so, instead of having the recap be days late, or show up on a Saturday, I decided to make you wait a week, because that’s the logic that my brain follows. Kidding. I figured I’d just hit y’all with a DOUBLE recap this week! I know. I’m too kind. So that’s what I’m going to do.

Last week’s ep was pretty good. There was a good call back to Phil’s friend Andre, the neighbor he met while he was working on Luke’s treehouse, so that was pretty awesome. I enjoy them together. I love Phil and Luke together (like with last night’s episode), but it’s good to see Phil with actual adult friends. Anyway, the purpose of their friendly outing was that Phil was going to buy a new car. He was going to be all practical about it and buy a sedan, but Andre convinced him to get the sleek, 1991 convertible instead, even though Phil knew Claire was going to be mad. Soon after purchasing, he realizes it’s not practical for work, so he and Claire trade cars for the day so he can have the van.

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“And they lived happily ever after.”

Or, you know... not.

So some BIG IMPORTANT things happened in Friday’s episode, and that was pretty awesome. But I’m going to go ahead and say it: the episode was… strange. Something felt off about it. Maybe it was because the set up felt like I was rereading the first forty pages of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (financials. GOD with the financials already). Or maybe it was because the creature was Spanish this time, and not German, which definitely threw me off a bit. Or maybe it was because I was seriously scared that there was going to be ZERO Eddie in the ep, which panicked me, not gonna lie. Whatever it was, it almost felt like it wasn’t an episode of Grimm. Not as we have come to know and love it.

Friday’s episode, based on the story of Cinderella, felt closer to the first few episodes where Nick was more like a pawn in the overarching story, as opposed to the other way around. Over the course of the season, this show has really learned how to do that well – making it about Nick and the situations he encounters. But this episode felt more about Lucinda, the bat-Wesen Cinderella, and Nick and Hank were the cops. It was kind of Law & Order-y. That’s not to downplay the mythology, though. We still learned a bit there. We also got more information about Nick’s Big Picture, which was great. The episode as a whole was just… not my favorite.

The episode opens with this young guy finding out that the man who’s been taking care of his money and investments killed himself. It was all very Bernie Madoff. The young guy panics and calls his friend, who turns out to be his wife’s godfather, because he needs a way to get his money back. Spencer, the godfather, suggests they talk to the wife’s (Lucinda – the Cinderella in this story) Evil Step-Mother, who flat-out turns them down. Well, that makes someone angry, because next thing we know, the Step-Mother finds herself dead.

The death scene was actually pretty awesome, so it bears specific discussion. It was actually the first time this show has made me scream out loud since the ep where the troll busted through Nick and Juliette’s window.  And y’all know how much I enjoy being scared (I am going to see Chernobyl Diaries when it comes out, y’all. And I sincerely hope it makes me piss myself). You see, while Mavis (the Step-Mother – aren’t you shocked at how many of the characters’ names I actually caught this episode?!) is getting ready for bed, she hears a noise, which sounds to me like an animal being eaten. And then the sound of what I’m imagining is blood dripping on carpet. Maybe I’ve seen too many scary movies and should sit CD out. Naaaah. But, so, she decides to take a peek under her bed, and there is a demon-eyed bat thing that screeches at her and scratches her. It’s at this point that I screamed “OH SHIT!” and had to pause my DVR to catch my breath. Also, my roommate was out in the hallway, so, thanks, show. If he didn’t think I was nuts already (which is likely), he certainly does now. Read the rest of this entry »

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Dear Girls,

I’ve seen three episodes of you now, and that being my general new show grace period, I think it’s safe to say that I’m in really deep like with you. Like, I really like you. Like, if we had a few drinks, I might be inclined to have sex with you with a condom. You get me. Your commercials told me I would like you, but the strange, yet very cool thing is that I didn’t realize how much I would actually relate to you. I mean, I’ve never lived in Brooklyn, and my parents stopped financially supporting me back when I went off to college, and that was mostly because I was all, “It’s cool, parents. I got this.”

But I had a bit of a moment during your second episode where I was laughing and yet wanted to curl up in a ball and cry so hard for everything your girls were going through that I’ve also faced. After it ended, I sat up on my futon (I make no pretenses that I’m a real adult), stared at your credits and said out loud, “Fuck me” because now I was obsessed with “the stuff that gets up around the sides of condoms.” Of course, this wasn’t the first time I thought of that nastiness, but you brought it up, man! I still am a disenchanted 20-something praying so fucking hard that I figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life. I’m pretty sure I’m a voice of a generation too, but I’m the only one who realizes it. Hannah Horvath… she gets me, and I get her. Read the rest of this entry »

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“’Wait!’ the troll said, jumping in front of him. ‘This is my toll bridge. You have to pay a penny to go across.’”

And I’m back! A big extra special, super-duper thanks to Dayna for doing such a great job covering Grimm while I was away! Now that I’m back, let the rusty German translations begin continue!

First of all, man. I missed so much while I was away. I mean, we found out (or at least I finally realized) that the secret organization is called the Verrat, which literally means “betrayal” or “treason,” which I find interesting – and NOT Fahrrad, which means “bicycle.” So that’s a relief. Also, GAH, I missed the ep with Neil Hopkins, a.k.a. Claude Crane, a.k.a. LIAM FUCKING PACE! YOU ALL EVERYBODY! But it’s cool. Because Friday’s ep was fraught with BEAVER! I mean beavers. Plural. Ahem. Let’s just get to the recap…

So, we start off with Nick gathering some of the Grimm weapons to take out into the woods with him. As I’m watching him stare at the weapons wide-eyed, I realize that I have a very similar look on my face because did you see that blue sweatshirt? I should probably feel guilty about immediately objectifying Holy Giuntoli in the first three seconds of the episode, but I don’t. I WANT TO BE THAT BLUE SWEATSHIRT. Read the rest of this entry »

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After almost a month, Modern Family is back! And you know what? It was a fairly decent episode, I guess. Honestly not a lot happened, but at least there were some pretty great lines. I mean, just Mitchell and Cam alone. Driving around in their hybrid, they spouted some of the best puns I’ve heard in a while. And if y’all only need to know one thing about me, it’s that I love a good pun (except news reporter puns. I detest news reporter puns). Really, the lines were the best part of the episode because the more I think about it, the more boring I realize most of the plot was. It may be realistic, but maybe the timeline of the Claire running for council thing is just done, you know? Please tell me I’m not the only one who thought that… I guess it’s good, then that, this ep was all about election day. The moment of truth is upon them! Did Claire win the spot on the council? Let’s get to recapping to find out! Or to refresh if you already saw the ep. ONWARD! Read the rest of this entry »

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Gooses! Geeses! I want a goose to lay gold eggs for Easter!

“Sing my precious little golden bird, sing! I have hung my golden slipper around your neck.”

Dear Grimm writers,

In the weeks past I have alluded to the love that I feel for you, but Friday’s episode triggered something deep inside my being that I felt had to be epistle-y (it’s a word now, suckahs!) acknowledged. I’ve kind of mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: You have really found your sweet spot in the past few episodes, and now you’ve been hitting it every single week. That sounds incredibly dirty and I apologize — unless you like that sort of thing, in which case, there’s more where that came from, hot stuff. I never really hid my trepidation at how successful this show would turn out to be, and I am so glad that you have allayed my fears. Friday’s episode was so well put together that I’m having trouble forming coherent thoughts. You were able to seamlessly juxtapose Nick’s Wesen-of-the-Week storyline (mixed with the whole Juliette doesn’t know thing) with the larger running story of Hank being seduced by Adalind at the command of Renard and not make it feel tedious and stale like so many shows before you (and believe me, I’ve watched a lot of TV). Speaking of Renard, what the fuck is he up to?! I don’t know yet. And I applaud you for it. Like I said last week, this show is a slowww buurrrnnnn. I fucking love you guys so much (especially Richard Hatem, who wrote this particular episode). Keep it up. Because you’re one of my favorite shows on TV right now, which is a high honor, I assure you (I’m extremely picky). My point is this: YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT.

Love,
Christina

Whew! Okay, I feel so much better now that I got that out. Weight off my chest and all that. And I meant every single word of it. Here’s the thing: this show isn’t without its predictable moments, but it never feels hokey or overwrought or dumb. It brings you along for the wild ride, and even those moments where you know that the Sheriff is in cahoots with the Klaustreich from the first time Nick calls him elicit a more triumphant “I KNEW IT!!” than a disenchanted “UGH, REALLY?!” when the reveal comes. It has never, ever been the second with this show. Read the rest of this entry »

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Damn, gurl. You work that brick!

“Soon he was so in love with the witch’s daughter that he could think of nothing else. He lived by the light of her eyes and gladly did whatever she asked.”

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta have Grimm back on my TV! Two weeks is two weeks too long, amiright? And the best part? They’re back with a pretty significant bang. When this show started, it took several episodes before they really gave us anything by way of Renard and the Hexenbiest to really hang on to, but when they gave us a nibble, it was enough to keep us going. We were satiated. Now, with Friday’s episode, well shit; they’re just poking the jägerbar of my curiosity. They give us just enough and then… “NEXT WEEK ON GRIMM.” GAAAHHH!

Let me explain. That is the great thing about this show and its writers that I’ve noticed over the past 15 episodes: this show and its mythology, the way it’s developed… it’s a slowwwww buuurrrnnnn. And totally in a good way. We got a glimpse into the kind of person Renard is and could be a couple of episodes ago with the whole crazy Nazi dictator thing, but Friday was the first glimpse into the Hexenbiest angle in a while. And yep, Renard still has her going after Hank. (Recapper’s note: I almost wrote “Renard still has her riding Hank,” but that is both 1) very dirty, and 2) not totally true. YET.)

Yeah, forgot that Renard had her trying to hit on Hank in a bar? So did I at first. It happened in this ep. And now she’s back on the mission… with some Crazy Bitch™ brand homemade cookies. Which Renard told her to make, basically, “Because the way to a man’s soul [Nick] is through his friends [Hank]. Now go fall in love.” Creeper. So she makes him blood cookies. Yeah, dude. She puts Hank’s blood (procured from a physical he recently had done) and her blood into cookie dough she’s making, presumably along with something else she got from the Fuchsbau who owns the herb and spice shop (hey, remember him?!). Apparently SOMEBODY didn’t heed Nick’s warning to not sell exotic substances anymore. Anyway, the point of this all is that I will never again eat homemade cookies. Read the rest of this entry »

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I kind of have a love-hate relationship with this show. For as many laughs as it does give me, I think I’m growing kind of tired of Modern Family, you guys. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because they use the same themes a lot (e.g., Mitchell’s daddy issues that aren’t daddy issues because he and Jay mostly just hover around each other until someone has a tiny emotional breakthrough), or maybe because it’s one of the more exhausting shows I’ve recapped because it has 11 main characters. Or maybe it’s because week after week, they’ve proven my theory about bad, good, bad, good episode order. The storylines aren’t predictable, but this show isn’t consistently funny anymore. And that really, really, really pains me because when it first came out, it was hands-down the funniest show I’d ever seen.

All that said, last night’s episode actually had a LOT of laugh-out-loud moments for me. It was really funny. It was definitely one of the peaks in the up and down formula. Phil was awesome, Luke, again, is a genius, and Cam was kind of delightful. AND STELLA WAS BACK. That automatically makes it a peak episode for me because that dog is goddamn amazing. I really enjoyed the episode, but as a whole, I’m not sold on this show anymore. But let’s focus on the good from last night. And maybe in the comments y’all can convince me that I’ve just forgotten the magic of this show. Read the rest of this entry »

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