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Is it just me, or was this episode all over the place? I mean, there was the Schmidt and Cece being all are-we-or-aren’t-we, Jess dealing with a bitchy-spirited student, Winston still not having a job, and Nick receiving a cactus from Julia and much ado-ing about it. Not that there isn’t normally a lot going on within each episode, but normally they’re a little more cohesive than this one.

Or maybe this is the episode that will win an Emmy. *shrugs*

Either way, some PLOT-MOVING THINGS happened, people!
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First and foremost, so sorry about the tardiness of this. My life went BAZOO this week and I had to go through a couple really insanely horrendous interviews at work and had another interview rescheduled and now my mom is in town and . . . yeah. So, if you can find it somewhere in your hearts to forgive me (it is Valentine’s week after all) and not to take REVENGE on me, I’d really appreciate it.

BUT NOW, let’s talk about this week’s episode of Revenge, appropriately titled “Chaos.” For us Revengies, this episode has been much awaited because it’s the one where everything comes full circle. And, to be honest, I’m really, really glad it’s over. Because NOW I think things are really going to pick up and we’re going to see some serious character development. Or maybe we won’t and this show will get so soapy no one will be able to stand it anymore. Either way, let’s hop to it.
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I think what I find most interesting about this show is the fact that only a couple things happen each episode, but it feels like EVERYTHING that happens is a big deal, even if it isn’t. I don’t know if maybe I’m just reading that into the show (it’s totally possible that I am) but literally every single thing that happens and every piece of information given, for example, the fact that Ashley’s dad wasn’t around a lot when she was growing up, seems like it’s weighty and significant, when in fact it’s just topical. And actually that little tidbit worked on two levels last night as the episode was titled “Perception.” Not only did we receive a lesson is what it means to perceive, but we were also given new perspectives on many of the characters. Screenwriters are just so clever sometimes, right?

And though this episode did provide a lot of, well, perspective, it also contained a humonstrous amount of set-up for next week’s episode which is going to bring things FULL-CIRCLE, Y’ALL. We’re going to be back at that ridiculous Fire and Ice Ball of an engagement party and back on the beach with that body and YOU GUYS, THE THINGS. I have a theory on who the body is and what is going on, and it is NEFARIOUS and involves Angry Jack, whom I must say has to be my favorite character next to Batman Nolan. But we can talk more about that later.

So at the top of the episode, we have Miss Emanda telling us about a boy who introduced her to a William Blake novel. I immediately was like, “There’s no way this guy is Jack because no ten-year-old is reading William Blake.”  And y’all! It turns out that the guy is Drunk Daniel, whom Emanda is stalking at a college bar where he is talking to some brunette bitch (who looked familiar. Does anyone know who she was?) about this book by Blake and about how he doesn’t want to end up being just like all the other Graysons and the burden of family legacy and wealth and shut the hell up Drunk Daniel, you aren’t going to be saddled with student loan debt that leaves with approximately $50/month in your bank account after you pay all your bills even though you have a full-time job. Anyway, it turns out that this bar episode is the first time that Daniel and Emanda met, which is sort of telling to me because it seems as if Emanda had a thing for Daniel from the beginning of her REVENGE plotting and perhaps had planned on meeting him and making him fall in love with her, not to necessarily get back at Victoria, although it doesn’t hurt that that is part of it, but because she is actually in love with him. I mean, plotting to make the guy who are stalking marry you while at the same time ruining his family is a bit bonkers, but crazier, more fucked up things have happened before, right? Right. Good. Moving on!
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You know what I liked about this episode? How hard the writers shipped Nick and Jess without actually writing them into being together. They bantered, they flirted, they gave the eyes. Nick was totally concerned about Jess’s safety and virtue (yeah, I read a lot of Jane Austen.) and though we can intuit that Nick’s intentions aren’t entirely honorable, at least he’s not a total creep and at least he is Nick. [Sidenote: Can you please, right now, talk about how much we need to see Nick wearing mid-19th century period costume? You KNOW Schmidt would be down. And Jess. And probably Winston. This show needs to pull a TVD and have some sort of ball or historical event to celebrate or SOMETHING—I mean, Jess is an elementary teacher for Christ's sake—so they can make this happen for me. And you. For us all, really.]

Anyway, the guise of this episode, titled “The Landlord,” is that Nick and Jess are in a tiff because they are both super stubborn and refuse to admit when they’re wrong. The situation isn’t helped by the fact that they have totally different viewpoints on the inherent state of human beings and refuse to agree to disagree about it. Jess thinks that there is good in people if you just give them a chance—which is exemplified at the top of the episode when she somehow gets a very angry, gun-totin’ dude in a lifted truck to back away from the parking spot he and Nick are battling for. Although Nick is grateful that they didn’t get, you know, SHOT, he’s also annoyed that all Jess has to do to get her way is smile, which is sort of what everyone else is annoyed about in regards to Jess toooo. When Nick said, “I guess I don’t live in a world where I smile and people do what I want them to do.” I fist-pumped and wished I were watching with Linda Holmes to see her reaction to that. Just so we’re clear, I want to watch EVERYTHING with Linda Holmes. But what I like even more about this episode is that in the end [SPOILER ALERT] Jess is proved wrong. Some people are just creepy and twisted and mean-spirited. And, sure, she chooses to defend them and see the good in them, but that is her choice to do so.

Anyway, the crux of this episode is devoted to Nick and Jess and, you guessed it, the landlord, whom everyone is afraid of.
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Holy bazoo, did I love last night’s episode. Was it perfect? No. Was it the best of the season? Probably not. (I still really love the wedding episode.) But, y’all, I would watch the Jess & Julia reality show if it existed. (Even though it obviously wouldn’t be reality because they are fictional characters played by actors who are maybe-but-probably-not like the characters they play.) I loved how believable the fight between Jess and Julia was. They weren’t physically fighting or manipulating people or using mean girl henchmen or sending annoyingly threatening text messages from an anonymous number—it was a legitimate, passive aggressive (and then not so much passive) fight brought on by the types of women they are (and represent) and the resentment that each type has toward the other. Who knew that two drastically different women who don’t really like one another, but are in a situation where they have to be around each other, going around not liking each other could be so awesome?! (Maybe 2 Broke Girls should watch this episode and take some notes?)

And, you know, the addition of the Julia-type of character was a really smart move for Liz Meriweather and the New Girl writing team. There has been so much flack (coming mainly from awesome female critics) about Zooey’s Jess and the word “adorkable” and how this female-driven show wasn’t really a good thing because the lead female was basically a figment of men’s imaginations, that it is BRILLIANT to a) tone down Jess, and b) bring in a character who represents the types of women who are the polar opposite of—and dislike—the Jess types. So high five New Girl writing team for listening to and responding to criticism!

But, I do have a but that I feel like I need to address. I have these very conflicted feelings on New Girl because I always really like it while I’m watching it, but then when I start thinking about what’s really going on with the show, I start to like it less. (THINKING, WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?) And I’m not sure how I feel about what’s happening with the Julia character. I mean, I’m on board with bringing in a secondary female lead that is the opposite of Miss Jessica Day and her Muppet voice, and I ADORE the casting, but I also feel like Meriweather and the writers are using Lizzy’s character Julia to represent those female critics who are holding up a mirror to the show and saying, “Now wait a minute. Look at what you’re writing.” And, to be honest, I’m not sure exactly how I feel about that sort of device. I have no qualms with the device in general, but if they are using Julia to say, “It’s only women who are serious and smart and wear ugly things like pant suits who don’t like women like Jess,” then I am not down with that. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

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It’s our first episode of The Lying Game where both Sutton and Emma are actually being themselves! And I must say, props to miss Alexandra Chando. I know that this show is soapy and ridiculous and over-the-top and the story is really, really frustrating sometimes because it never lets the viewer in, but those aren’t Chando’s problems, and she is a really good actress. I’m amazed at the amount of nuance she brings to Emma and the amount of fire and intensity she brings to Sutton. I mean, I know that the girls are polar opposites and that makes it a little easier to play, but she does a really, really good job. I’m especially impressed with her portrayal of Sutton and the mix of condescension and desperation she somehow manages to balance. Maybe that’s because we’ve seen a lot more of Emma than we have of Sutton, but, still. It can’t be easy playing two characters in one show. (Or maybe it is. I am not an actress so I have no idea. It definitely seems hard to me.)

Anyway, I found this episode, “Black and White and Green All Over,” to be especially frustrating. There was a lot of characters talking around topics instead of talking about them and it really makes me want to stomp my foot and scream at people and storm out of the room. Actually, Laurel did exactly that in one scene and I was like, “SHE IS THE AUDIENCE. SHE FEELS OUR PAIN.” But of course she does, because Laurel is our homegirl. But outside of this episode being highly frustrating, it also gave us a lot of Miss Sutton and her—surprise!—jealousy of Emma once she realizes how much better Emma is at being a human than Sutton is. Sutton goes into manipulation mode and I found it to be really pathetic. It was almost this sense that she suddenly realized everything she once had was slipping away and she was doing everything she could think of to hold onto it. And, not surprisingly, the only person who seems to be giving into that is Emma. I find it to be a very interesting power struggle, and one that I wasn’t really expecting. So I guess that’s one thing the show has got goin’ for it.

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Don't even think about yelling "Spoiler." You knew this was coming.

 

I’m going to be honest: I watched the finale of Homeland before watching last night’s Revenge, and my brain was still kind of reeling and trying to process the Homeland finale, so it’s possible that I missed a lot of stuff going on in Revenge. Maybe. I feel like as I was watching, I was furiously typing out my notes, but somehow my mind wasn’t paying attention. So we’ll see how good my fingers are at gathering meaningful information. (I got through both college and grad school, so I have full confidence in my fingers and their ability to retain information that my brain somehow missed.) I just wanted to give you all a head’s up in case this recap is a little less thorough than normal. (Also, if you want to chat with me about Homeland, feel free to do it in comments or on Twitter.)

Alright, so last night’s episode, “Commitment,” was really heavy. There was a lot of Conrad (understandably) yelling and brooding, and Victoria getting pushed off her pedestal and actually having a legitimate, full-on emotional breakdown. There was also a lot of rain. I wonder how much money was budgeted for water in this episode, because I’m pretty sure their water bill cost about as much as it would to buy my three-bedroom apartment.

So, the episode starts off with Emanda showing Nolan the Charlotte Clarke Video she stole from Mason Treadwell. It very much seems as though Nolan took the information much harder than Emanda did—he asks what she’s going to do and she detachedly states that the fact that Charlotte is her half-sister is of no consequence to her and that her feelings about anyone and everyone are irrelevant anyway because this is about REVENGE! But she is bothered by the fact that David Clarke told Treadwell about Charlotte, but that probably important tidbit is nowhere to be found in the journals he supposedly wrote to her. (Could this be because BATMAN NOLAN wrote them?! I’m not going to let this theory of mine go, y’all.) So Emanda goes about her revenge business, making a copy of the tape of Clarke insinuating that he is Charlotte’s real father to send to Conrad’s divorce attorney, so that she can fuck up the Graysons’ entire world. Fittingly, the rest of the episode of very Grayson-centric.
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Y’all, I really missed this show while it was on winter hiatus and I’m just so glad it’s back. It gives me warm and fuzzy feelings and it makes me laugh and I would like to take it on a date. We could have a picnic and go get ice cream and maybe go see The Artist and not insist on getting a refund because we’ll already know that it’s a silent, black-and-white, French film. I think New Girl would enjoy that, don’t you?

So, why am I so enamored with this show? Aside from the very charming cast, it’s because the writers know how to LISTEN to what the viewers want and then give it to them in spades. They’ve toned down Jess so that she’s believably dorky and not some caricature of a gorgeous woman who is socially awkward, as she was the first few episodes. They’ve done a great job of balancing the roommates’ personalities and how they relate to one another. They’ve brought back the Douchebag Jar!!!! And they’ve assured us that the Nick/Jess relationship will be a slow burn.

But that’s not all.

Y’all, last night they gave us Lizzy Caplan, who is one of my giant girl crushes, and she is Nick’s love interest. I know that this is going to pose an issue later on if Lizzy sticks around, but, to be honest, I will always be Team Lizzy over Team Zooey. (Although, I must admit that I do love Zooey. Well, most of the time. Sometimes she really, really annoys the shit out of me. But I like the choices she’s made with her career and I like her [more than?] friendship with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and I like her clothes and her music and the fact that she is extremely fiscally responsible.) I mean, not only was Lizzy Caplan the incredimazeballs Janice in Mean Girls, but she was incredimazeballs on Party Down (OMG, my enthusiasm for that up-and-coming movie knows no bounds) and on True Blood even though I mostly hated her character, but not her. Never her. And, y’all, Lizzy is hot. Like, really, really hot. She might have just eclipsed Emma Stone as my Girl Crush #1.

Okay, I’ll stop blathering and actually get on to what happened in the episode, “The Story of the 50.”
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Y’all! This was our first Char-free (!!!!) episode! And you know what else? The show gave us some (really shitty) answers about some things we’ve been demanding to have answers for! And even though those answers were, indeed, REALLY shitty, at least they are answers. And hopefully one of them means that another character will be leaving soon. However—with the dismissal of Char, we have added not only Cordy to the cast, but also some British fop named Ryan. Do not want. I want Lexi and the hot guy whose dad owns a casino. They were fun.

Alright, so since I don’t really want to invest too much time/energy into this recap because I am SLAMMED at work (and because I’d rather spend time/energy on my New Girl recap later tonight!) I’m gonna make this short and sweet. And, really, this episode is one that is super easy to make short and sweet as there was a lot of filler in-between some pretty major plot changes. Yay for forward progression, show!
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Look at how awkward Ashley is, standing over there all by her lonesome, throwing off the balance of the photo.

Well hello there, Revengies. I hope that you are prepared to dissect, discuss, and Kermit-flail around, because that’s basically what I did whilst watching last night’s episode, “Infamy.” If you didn’t, you clearly are not invested enough in this crazy-pants, soap opera of a show.

Now, I won’t lie—I was a little bit concerned that this week’s episode would be a let down after the Amazing Saga of Crazy Tyler from last week. But y’all, the writers did their best to bring it so as not to let the Amazing Saga of Crazy Tyler cast a giant shadow over the rest of the season. Not only did we get a girl-on-girl kiss (Eh.), but also a scene at a shooting range (GUNS!), Jack in a suit (*swoon*), a little bit of innocent arson (FIRE, PRETTY.), Grayson family power plays, and A BIG REVEAL that really probably isn’t as big of a deal as they tried to make it out to be since we all basically guessed what it was a little while back.
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