Articles by offcolortv

Well you guys, I don’t know.  Maybe twitter overprepared me to hate this episode, or maybe I was just in such a good mood from live hatetweeting The Bachelorette, but I actually thought this episode was not bad, and not even JUST because of Wet Wade, Shirtless Wade, and Sex Scene Wade, although that would’ve been more than enough for me.  So I have some nice stuff to say about this episode, but let me also just say how fucking happy I am that this was the season finale, because I can’t DO this anymore.  At some point around “George is my soulmate, let me book a fancy New Orleans hotel,” it just became exhausting for me and I am DONE.  I mean, I’ll probably still watch it, even if only while I recap other shit or have arts and crafts time, but if it gets recapped next year, it will not be by me.  Although I am fairly certain that HBC will be more than happy to keep you up to your elbows in Wade gifs.

So, as I believe I mentioned last week, I have a real thing for stormy barn scenes thanks to my obsession with The Wonder Years.  This one was pretty good, except the lighting (and the fighting, really) could’ve been more dramatic.  However, I was HORRIFIED when the tiny baby goat got loose.  I even wrote in my notes, in all caps, “NOT THE BABY GOAT!”  I was CONCERNED.  However, as always, Wade stripping down fixed everything.  And honestly … how did that goat get that tangled up in barbed wire, and can’t goats eat through wire, and couldn’t Wade (and/or Zoe) have just lifted the wire in a place where there was no barb?  I mean, Jesus, people.  Still, a baby goat got rescued and I like that.  Although, where was that goat’s mother?  It really should’ve been watching to make sure its baby didn’t escape during some damn fool scheme to get a white shirt wet over candy.

But anyway.  I liked the barn scene, how some stuff got put out in the open, how you got to see the way Wade had convinced himself that his feelings for Zoe were nothing more than her playing hard to get, and how she’d convinced herself that they were all wrong for each other, and the way the sexual tension was mounting.  I loved that she called him over with the coffee pot, and he knew immediately what was going on.  I do think, that for as torrential a downpour was it was, he was pretty dry when he showed up at her door, but not to worry–everyone else was wet enough to MORE than make up for it, IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN.  The sex was super hot but also sort of sweet, and hopefully the beginning of her feelings for Wade.  I was sort of okay with the end, just because she seemed more confused than anything, and given that the (stupid) story for the last few weeks has been about her George obsession, it does make story sense.  But hello, NAKED, SEXY WADE IN YOUR BED.  There’s really nothing to be confused about here. Read the rest of this entry »

Oh hai, Dad! Thanks for the fancy job and undoubtedly obscenely expensive plane ticket! But actually, FUCK YOU, I'm Dr. Zoe Hart! Now excuse me while I say my own full formal name a bunch more times and so does everyone else! Because I'm a doctor! And I'm Zoe Hart! So fuck you and don't you forget it (until I need something else or call you to whine about my non-problems some more!)!

Okay, so … this episode was much better than the last couple and I would even say it was a good episode, and it sort of feels like we’re getting back on track, BUT.  You knew it was coming, right?  The but is that I don’t think I have forgiven the show yet for the New Orleans episode.  That shit seriously pissed me off (as you know) and I felt betrayed as a viewer, and it will just take some time to win me back.  And really, if the finale weren’t next week, I’m not sure I’d still be recapping it right now, just because I feel like me and this show need a little break, where I don’t talk about it on the internet and I maybe let it pile up on my DVR and instead of spending time with it, watch How I Met Your Mother instead.  You know, like a real “taking a break” in a relationship, minus the part about piling up on my DVR.  If the person you’re trying to avoid is on your DVR and must be ignored, you have much more exotic problems than me.

Anyway, just because I don’t have a lot of enthusiasm for this episode, which is a bummer because I SHOULD, doesn’t mean I have anything bad to say either, really.  So let me just hit the high points here and then y’all can talk about it in the comments (and again, plenty of Wade, so I’m looking forward to the gif linking fest that’s sure to ensue).  Ready?  Let’s do it. Read the rest of this entry »

Whew.  Big improvement over last week, which is good, because I was JUST ABOUT to call it quits.  Plus, it looks like this week’s story is actually going to continue into next week’s, which I think is good.  Also, it didn’t hurt that there was TONS of Wade.  So let’s talk!

This week’s town event was some stupid race … I don’t know.  It seemed to mostly involve building shit, which I’m actually really good at, so I guess it’s good for those chumps that I wasn’t eligible for entry (not being a Bluebell resident and whatnot).  Also, I would cut a bitch (and climb a building) for five grand right now.

Wade was also in it for the money, which he wanted to put toward opening his own bar.  Zoe was actually cool about it and supportive, but in all other ways, she was, again, The Worst*.  She’s just so insensitive to everyone around her, and I kind of forgive her of not understanding Wade, because a lot of that is his fault, but when she’s such a shit to Lavon, I cannot handle it.  Plus, she made EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN THING about her this week, which, AGAIN.  Shut up, Zoe.

*Still not as bad as Mr. Shue. Read the rest of this entry »

Ugh, Hart of Dixie, what are you DOING?

OOOOHHHH, I get it ... the key to getting through this episode is DRINKING! Makes sense.

You guys, I’ve gotta be honest … I was so not into this and I’m going to keep it short.  I didn’t want to write it at all, but I know how everyone loves talking about this show and we obviously need a place to wail Wade’s name (although HBC‘s gif posts are absolutely the better place to revel in his sexiness).  But all my thoughts on this episode are basically in the same vein as last week, minus drooling over Justin Hartley and plus wanting to go to New Orleans really bad.

I wasn’t paying enough attention to the musical to really know what they were doing it for, although I did love cute little Tom and his new girlfriend, the redhead.  Everything else?  Filler.  And not like the cream in a Twinkie.  Also not exactly like pink slime, but definitely headed that way on the spectrum. Read the rest of this entry »

You guys … so many thoughts.  I’m having a hard time grabbing hold of one and getting started, so let’s just go with the most persistent, which is …

JUSTIN HARTLEY.  Dreamy sigh.

So we all know that Wade was The (Unexpected) Sex™ (sorry, it took me awhile to see it, but before long, I too was all aboard the flaming panty train).  But I’ve gotta say, Justin Hartley was PERFECT casting for his brother.  I mean …

Two Kinsella boys are better than one!

Alright, so listen.  There was plenty to like about this episode–a lot of Wade, some resolution with George FINALLY finding out about Lemon and Lavon, hot brother fighting (Supernatural has made me a fan of this for life), Annabeth–whose hair was looking GORGEOUS, by the way, a stripper party bus, a bear on the loose … you know, the normal silliness. Read the rest of this entry »