Parks & Recreation. Whizzingham Manor.

The caption to that first gif was actually runner up for the title of this post. What can I say, it’s a Thursday night and Leslie Knope just gets me.

Before you start going off on me for not having everything perfect with this recap (when is it ever?) I would like to note that I couldn’t find it online and so I only got to watch it once. The day I get a DVR, the entire world will know. So, just, keep that in mind I guess. And prepare to do a happy dance, welcoming Louis CK back for a guest appearance.

We’re going to start with this whole Ann/Tom potential romance because, well, we can’t just studiously avoid it. The show is going to make this a thing. Or maybe try to make it a thing. It remains to be seen. I have a lot of apathy towards this storyline but we’ll get to that in a bit. First I’ll catch you up.

So Ann and Tom went out on one date because they get along kind of okay most of the time, I guess. Whatever, April was feeling charitable and decided to set them up. It happend. So they went out one whole time and a whole lot of nothing happend. And yet… nicknames. Yup, plural. But it’s Tom, so what did you expect? Among them: Cookie Tush. Lady Crash Crash. Tommy’s Girl. Annie Bananie. Ugh. Ann is so not an Annie. Make it stop, Tom.

Tom needs validation to exist. He’s an attention whore. So, despite the fact that Ann requested they keep their date to themselves, Tom told everyone in the Parks office. From the date. Via text. He is the classiest. No, but really he’s just the clingiest. He can’t allow Ann her privacy or her distance. He’s all up in her bidness and not in a cute way. Not in a sexy way. In an annoying and strangely floppy way. He “wears her down” and I don’t know how I feel about it. Ann is a strong woman, most of the time, but sometimes she’s kind of a doormat – remember how Andy treated her when they lived together? Granted she’s grown a lot since season 1. I guess I just can’t imagine Ann giving in just to shut Tom up, you know? (This is where you, readers, tell me how I should feel.)

But Ann clearly has the balls in this couple, right? I mean, I can’t really imagine any scenario in which Tom is the man in this, albeit potential, relationship. I am definitely intrigued in this pair and think there are a lot of hilarious possibilities. How do you feel about it? Is Tom enough of a man for Ann? Her type doesn’t seem to be super butch, so we’ll have to wait and see what kind of boyfriend Tom is. We’ve only ever seen brief glimpses first with his platonic green-card wife Wendy and later with what’s-her-face, Lucy, from the bar. And Ann’s only ever been seen with Andy, Mark and Chris. (I almost forgot about Mark. Isn’t he supposed to drop in this season? Then again, the Show’s been teasing us with a Mark reappearance for two seasons now and I just can’t muster up the energy to care.) There was a potential set-up between Ann and Ron earlier this season at the Halloween party when they went around fixing up April and Andy’s house together. There seemed to be some chemistry there. At least more than she and Tom have. Please weigh in. Don’t let me stew in this weird relationship quandry all by my lonesome. I’m not even that invested in Tom and Ann as characters. (Except for when Ann and Leslie are getting drunk together. Obviously. They really are great friends.)

Moving on to our other relationship situation of the evening. Ben and Leslie are together, very much in live, the cutest, yadda yadda yadda. But – curveball! Dave Sanderson is back! YES! Louis CK. I love him. I love his character on Parks. He’s so bumbling and blustering and adorable. Ben’s playing it cool and is totes fine with Leslie going out to dinner with Dave by herself. Leslie recognizes that that may not be the best decision so the three of them go out together. Because that makes a lot of sense. When Ben excuses himself to go to the “Whizz Palace”* Dave bursts and says that he’s still in love with her. You know when Dave says that he wants to “endorse Leslie” he isn’t talking about politically endorsing her. If you know what I mean. Bone her. He wants to bone her. To facilitate this, he handcuffs Ben to a urinal in the disgusting men’s room. (Sidebar: are all men’s restrooms that nasty? Because that was not great. It seemed to be a fairly nice restaurant with, like, a dress code, so I find it hard to believe that the bathroom was so disgusting. I’m rambling too much about this? Gotcha. Moving on.)

I really liked Dave as a boyfriend for Leslie. I really like Dave as a character and Louis CK as an actor and comedian. However he needs to step the fuck off. No one messes with Leslie and Ben and gets away with it, you hear? Leslie heard me. She lays it out for him – if Dave moves back to Pawnee they can try and be friends but it’s not going to be anything more than that and, no, Ben is not “shrimpy” thank you very much.

Across town a flesh eating virus of music has broken out. “Catch your Dream” is the campaign anthem written by Andy. It’s like “We Are the World” but will actually have a cultural impact. His plan is to get the other campaign staffers to be background vocals. That recording studio? Ron’s never heard of it. (You know that’s where his alter-ego, Duke Silver lays down the tracks for his vinyl.)** This is confirmed immediately. April, the only one in the group who knows Ron’s secret, is tasked with making sure none of the others find out. Because of this, she acts spastically all episode, breaking Duke Silver coffee mugs, etc. Actually, that’s pretty much mainstream April.

Andy’s having a crisis of confidence. He’s seriously struggling with this song. It’s not terrible but the back-up vocals are. They are the opposite of the background vocals in “Smelly Cat”. Ron can’t bear to deal with a rewrite though so he adds a special touch to the track while Andy’s off stuck in his head. That’s gotta be a weird change of pace for him. So Duke Silver is playing on the track! Everything is the best. It really classes up the song and holds it together.

And, maybe Rob Lowe isn’t really dancing this week, but he’s singing. Equally as wonderful. See for yourself:

Notable & Quotable

• As we all know, Ben is the cutest. This time it is recognized because he, you know, not-so nonchalantly quoting Dead Poets Society. Because, you know, Ben’s afraid of cops.
• “Mo’ Money, mo’ problems.” – Ben “How about mo’ money, mo’ protective kevlar vests.”- police chief
• “Am I in a relationship? It’s complicated.” – Tom, updating his FB status
• “Oh boy, here it comes… 9/11″ – Ben, to the police chief
• “He’s in love with you and he has a gun.” – Ben, to Leslie
• “You don’t care about Trumbell? Leslie – let’s not let your terrible decisions get in the way of this election.” – Ben
• “I’ve heard he makes mature women swoon when he plays.” – April, about Duke Silver
• “A cup of tea with honey is good for the voice. Mine’s just honey because tea is gross.” – Andy. This only serves to further my belief that Andy is a bear. Remember back before winter hiatus when he got his hand stuck in a jar of marshmallow fluff? Bear. Would anyone object to me making Winnie the Pooh references when he comes up?

* Spell-check: Does “whiz” have one Z or two? I don’t get the red squiggly line underneath either version. Is there a reader preference? Jokes, I totally just looked it up in the dictionary. Both are acceptable.

** It is at this point that I just want to make out with the continuity editor. The whole writer’s room, really. I’ve been fawning all over the continuity for the last three episodes, at least, but dammit if the writing doesn’t deserve some appreciation. They kill it every time. Show, don’t ever change.

So that’s it for this week. What did you think of the return of Louis CK (aka Dave)? How do you feel about this whole Ann/Tom set-up the show’s got going on? Have you, like me, been missing the smooth jazz stylings of Duke Silver? Got any good nickname suggestions for Tom to try out on Ann next week? Whatever you have to say, I would like to be validated so please ramble on in the comment section. I dare you to be more long-winded than I have this post. I double dog dare you. Nay, I Triple Dog Dare you. Do your worst.