THE VOICE. Blind Auditions 3. He’s White!

No preamble today. I was busy last night watching college basketball. The alma mater (University of Kansas) was taking on their in state rival (Kansas State University.) We won, but it was a bit of a close call. I watched most of the show in real time until the game started. I’m telling you, it’s torture. I don’t recommend it to anyone. On with the SHOW!

Sarah Golden “You and I”–First “viewer at home is blind too” performance. They were making a huge deal out of her nontraditional looks but she’s not hideous, geez! Where’s the snaggle tooth? The giant birthmark? The peg leg? I was expecting something good. Instead she’s an average American sized girl with a bit of a butch haircut. Nothing wrong with that. TEAM CEE LO

Elley Duhe “Mercy”–Parents homeschool her so she can pursue her music career. That totally means no one is going to pick her. Different tone to her voice, but I’m not sure its a good one. Adam loved her last note, but too late now. Bonus hug from Christina.

Pip “The House of the Rising Sun”–The kid is in a bow tie and only uses one name. I hate him already. It pains me to say he has a good voice. They fight hard over him. TEAM ADAM

Erin Willett “I Want You Back”–Big voice that I thought Christina would love. Blake is the only one to turn around though. TEAM BLAKE

KIA COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!!! It’s so AWESOME! It’ll tell you where to go and stuff. Carson surprises Katrina Parker at her insurance office job. It was the biggest non-surprise ever.

David Grace “Sweet Home Alabama”–Making a song your own means holding the notes extremely long and sliding into them. I’m not really that impressed. It’s obvious he knows how to play the guitar. Looks like I’m not the only one that wasn’t feeling it. I like that Blake won’t just take any country singer. They have to be a good singer.

Katrina Parker “One of Us”–This girl has one of the lowest registers I’ve ever heard. I really wasn’t expecting that to come out of her mouth. I’m not sure if I liked it or not. Adam is the only to buzz in and he loves how different she is. TEAM ADAM

Geoff McBride “Higher Ground”–Has a straight up legit reason for wearing sunglasses indoors (an old kickboxing injury, though I was hoping for an empty eye socket or something equally gruesome.) Love the tone in his voice, though I kinda feel like it’s too Stevie. I want to hear him on another song. Christina and Cee Lo are the two to turn. TEAM CHRISTINA

Erin Martin “Hey There Delilah”–Model turned singer that has been told she needs more development. I think that’s code for “you look good but your singing sucks.” So, color me dead wrong. Not that she sucks, because I still think she does, but that two coaches turned around. I’m so not into the baby voice. Mark my words she won’t last long, well unless Cee Lo can’t get rid of a pretty face. He went a bit creeper with the compliments, eh? TEAM CEE LO Think they’ll be banging?

James Massone “Find Your Love”– “Follow ya Haaat.” James’ dad gets deep, y’all. James was almost part of a Rap House Massacre. Deep stuff. He’s a mechanic that needs a makeover. I think he’s whining like Bieber but for some reason Christina, Blake and Cee Lo turn around. James asks, “Adam what happened to you?” How about he’s not tone deaf? Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong? His brother looks like the lead on How to Make It In America…from far away. TEAM CEE LO

Another sneak attack. Winter Rae has blue hair and a neck tattoo that is freaking me out. She’s really pretty. Friends with Perez Hilton? Strike one. No one turns around. I’m secretly happy inside. I really don’t like Perez.

Chris Cauley “Grenade”– Aww, he sang with his grandma. From the opening notes I loved him. I’m a sucker for a cute guy that can saanngg. He wanted Adam and Cee Lo to arm wrestle. Adam realizes this would not come out in his favor. TEAM ADAM

Now they spent too much time on stupid visits to office buildings so we get some rapid fire team members.

Nathan Parrot TEAM ADAM

Brian Fuente TEAM BLAKE

Moses Stone (The Voice’s first MC) TEAM CHRISTINA

Jordis Unga “Maybe I’m Amazed”–Her dad wears pajamas and does jigs. Blake turns around almost immediately. Christina and Cee lo quickly follow. Adam calls himself the a-hole that didn’t hit his button. Blake starts campaigning hard “Your voice makes me want to be a better man.” paraphrasing a bit, but really not that much. Christina ties to go with the time and attention argument because she’s not touring. You’re too busy getting wasted honey…if the rumors are true. Hitting button first sometimes pays off. TEAM BLAKE

Coach-isms

“Cee Lo wants you to be an experiment.” Blake

“Oh, you can’t handle us both, baby.” Cee Lo

“I may not look like Cee Lo, but I’ve got Soul too.” Christina

“When she wakes up before noon she has time.” Blake

“Christina’s even smiling.” “FUCK you!” Blake and Christina go at it.

“He’s white!” -Adam (Referring to James Massone)

“You were really, really smooth.” -Chistina

For those keeping track at home:

TEAM CHRISTINA 6 of 12: Chris Mann, Jesse Campbell, The Line, Lindsey Pavao, Moses Stone, Geoff McBride

TEAM BLAKE 6 of 12: Raelynn, Gwen Sebastian, Jermaine Paul, Brian Fuente, Erin Willett, Jordis (apparently she’s dropped her last name too.)

TEAM CEE LO 6 of 12: Juliet Simms, Jamar Rogers, Angie Johnson, Erin Martin, James Massone, Sarah Golden

TEAM ADAM 7 of 12: Tony Lucca, Kim Yarbrough, Angel Taylor, Chris Cauley, Katrina Parker, Nathan Parrett, Pip

So, who was your favorite of the night? Did Pip make you want to vomit? What’s your stance on Perez Hilton? Let me know in the COMMENTS!!