Hey, look what I found!

“Instantly, the priestess changed into a monstrous goblin-spider and the warrior found himself caught fast in her web.”

I’m sorry… “monstrous goblin-spider”? I don’t know if I can continue this recap.*Deep breath* Okay, so I managed to watch the episode, though.. ugh… there were parts that were really… blegh… pretty gross. Like, Eddie, I really do not like spiders, and I even have the same philosophy when I find them in my house.  Hope you fuckers like the sewer; bye-bye! I hate them so much. I’m not even joking. I once had a dream that I found a spider in my house and when I tried to drown it in the pool (I don’t even own a pool), it fucking TURNED INTO AN OCTOPUS and started fighting my dad! Fucking spiders, man.

Anyway, while it wasn’t my favorite episode of Grimm, it was still pretty solid and enjoyable, and I’ll tell you why: 1) more Eddie and Nick bromance, 2) more of Nick pretending to be a badass to the creatures while scaring them straight, 3) it was actually kind of scary, which is nice. Also, this episode juggled multiple story lines, and it was really nicely done. So let’s divvy up the plot and get to recapping!

We’ll start with the main creature story. We open on a young dude talking on the phone in an art gallery. Rude. He’s talking to his wife, but loses no time in hitting on another woman once he hangs up. He creatures-out, but it turns out to be a red herring. She’s our concern here. They go back to his apartment and they start making out. He gets forceful and shows her his creature face, but she pushes him to the floor and looms over him. Then she shows him the pinchers she has in her mouth and after he bites off a finger in self-defense, proceeds to projectile vomit venom into his mouth. I was going to bring up some related real life story, but I got nothin’.

And then we see her just walking down the street, crying and missing a finger. If I had a nickel for every time this happened to me…

Over at Nick’s house, he’s under his TV trying to fix the signal. He asks “Is it working now?” Juliette says no, not in that she can see anything. But Nick, I can see some hip flesh right over the waist band of your undies, and that is working for me. Just saying.

Suddenly an egg hits the window and Nick comes out from under the table. He goes out to tell those whippersnappers to “GET OFF MY LAWN!” and he gets outside, there actually ARE kids, and they’re both creatures. They run off when they see he’s carrying. Inside, Juliette tells a story about how when she was little, there was a troll-looking old man, and she and her friends used to dare each other to run across his yard. Turns out he was a war vet. Nick is all, “So you’re saying these kids think I’m monster?” YES, NICK. THEY DO.

The next morning, Eddie pretty much tells him as much. Nick tells Eddie that “Eisbiber” (I think that’s what he said. This literally means “ice beaver,” and that makes me chuckle) kids egged his house, and Eddie explains it’s because he’s the monster under their bed.  “Some Wesen found out you’re a Grimm and they’re curious.” Wesen! Yay! We finally have a word for all the creatures! Nick’s all, “I’m not like that,” and Eddie counters, “Dude, join the misunderstood. Try telling people I don’t eat meat.”

Around a mouthful of pastry and coffee, Eddie explains that Nick is the scary story the Wesen tell their children to get them to behave. He’s like the Elf on the Shelf, only way, WAY scarier (though, I don’t know. Fucking dolls, man). And now that they know he’s around, it’s a Big Deal. Nick is mostly concerned with who they’re going to tell, and who those people are going to tell. Eddie asked if Nick told Juliette yet. Nope. “I guess Grimms aren’t that brave after all.” Touché!

This is when Nick gets the call to the crime scene, and Nank are on the case! Hey. HEY! Who is this giving Nank the run down? WHERE IS WU?! This new guy gives them all the deets. Nick observes that the body is completely desiccated. They check over the body, and holy shit they find the finger! While Nick is holding it, it moves a little and Nick becomes a little girl about it. Hank is all, “Do you want to pick it up again, or do you want me to give you the finger.” LOLcop. How long do you think he was waiting to use that one? If Wu was around, he’d have said it immediately. #IMissWu

Nank go talk to the art gallery owner. On her surveillance tape, Nank see the man and woman leave moments apart.

Next stop the ME’s! HOLY desiccated body, Batman! Harper explains he was made to ingest a highly corrosive acid, but doesn’t know which yet. She explains that it completely liquefied his internal organs, which were then sucked out through what looks like a bite mark on his abdomen. Can I take a moment to appreciate Harper? I really dig that it’s a female ME. I know there’s a chick ME on Law & Order, but Harper is just so cool and sarcastic. And she has a bee man!

Back at the station, Nank and Renard do their usual Walk ‘N’ Theorize bit. They know it’s not an ex-wife, but may be an ex-girlfriend. Or maybe a pissed off client who got bad stock advice. The cop from before comes to tell them they got a hit on the finger’s print from a crime years ago. It had very similar circumstances: a dude was desiccated, and his fiancée’s wedding ring stolen (the art gallery dude’s Rolex was stolen). Hank reads that the tox report showed an amino acid found in spider vemon. Renard notes she already killed twice, there might be more. Nick says he’ll “follow the venom.” All the way to AM’s trailer!

He doesn’t find anything in his usual journals, but finds another one he’s never seen before. It’s filled with more drawings, but also contains a very important scroll that seems to tell the story of the Goblin Spider. Only problem is, it’s in Japanese.

Speaking of the GS, she’s at home getting ready to go out, I guess. She puts on wig and lipstick, all “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.” Just kidding. But then she seems disgusted with herself and wipes it all off. But here she comes into a restaurant anyway. Next thing we know, she’s at it again with another dude! I originally had a joke here about an “acid job,” it just felt so, so wrong.

Later, the housekeeper comes into the hotel room and finds the newest dead man. Then Nank come on the scene and MAN ALIVE is the dead man freaky-looking. Nank see that he has the same bite marks on his abdomen. They also find a piece of fabric clenched in his hand. God, this lady is really, really sloppy with leaving behind evidence. I mean, Jesus. Anyway, the cops check the hotel surveillance and see her. Renard comes in telling them about more victims from the same perp inArizonaandNew Mexico. There have been so many, it works out into a pattern: 3 murders every 5 years. Renard sees that the ritual is incomplete, and they need to figure out how she picks victims to get ahead of her.

To our eyes, her method seems really random because now she’s gotten it in her head to pretend to be a damsel soccer mom in distress – AND OH GOD SHE’S NOT PLAYING THIS IS FOR REAL. The dude who comes to help her is her husband, and holy crap there’s another side to her that I was not expecting at all. Awesome.

Nick goes over to his favorite hangout – Eddie’s Haus. Eddie is making “Badenwurst,” which is potentially about as disgusting as it sounds. Eddie explains that when his nana used to make it, she’d fill it with “whatever, whoever was around,” but Eddie’s version is vegetarian. Nick still doesn’t want any. Ha! He tells Eddie about the Japanese scroll, and wants Eddie to tell him everything he knows about spider Wesen. Eddie explains that despite the fact that “some eat their young, which I consider the height of bad parenting,” they’re mostly pretty harmless. Except of course, the ones who desiccate their victims. Those are called Spinnetods, which means “death spider” (“Spinne,” literally “spider,” and “tod,” literally “death”). They’re like Black Widows of the Wesen world. They kill after sex, which Eddie thinks just ruins the evening. Haha! Oh, Eddie. The camera then pans down to him grinding the wurst into the sausage casing, and… I don’t know if this was intentional, but it is kind of hilarious.

Eddie says he knows someone who might be able to help, and takes Nick to see this chick Charlotte, who is living in a Klosterhaus (I’m guessing this is how you spell it since “Kloster” means monastery and “Haus” means, well, “house”), which is like a retirement home for Wesen. Charlotte, a slightly elderly-looking woman, is a reformed Spinnetod, and she gives all the deets of her kind to Nick. The whole desiccating men? That’s a biological imperative. If they don’t feed like this three times every five years, the “mortification” happens – which basically means they age very, very quickly.Charlotte, it turns out, is only twenty-six years old. Yikes. But the look on Nick’s face when she says this was sort of priceless.

Charlottealso explains that the stolen Rolex was just because they’re attracted to shiny things. That made me laugh, but holy hell, the hungry eyes she’s making at Nick and Eddie are freaking us all out, so Nick and Eddie leave.

The next day Nank get called over to the local Elementary school, where the stolen Rolex has turned up. We know that the Spinnetod gave it to her husband during their nice family dinner. The daughter stole it and traded this kid his bike for it, and the Principal thought it was shady so she called the cops. So Nank go to the girl’s house, arrest the husband and Nick sees the Spinnetod for what she really is. They notice her bandaged finger, but when she takes the splint off… THE FINGER IS THERE! Ugh, I should have seen this coming.

Back at the station, Nick knows that she’s the murderess, and what’s more, they get a hit on a print from the wife that they lifted from the house – it’s the same as the finger they found at the crime scene. When Hank finds out, he’s a little confused, but he’s being awfully cavalier about it, saying only that Nick will have to explain it to the DA. Whew! That was a close one. More shit like this is going to happen where he almost finds out, huh?

With this new information, Nick goes in to interrogate the husband alone. Nick tells him he knows that his wife is a Spinnetod, and turns out the husband is too! The husband tells a really nice story about how the two are so in love, that’s why she never killed him during one of her feedings. They both know that they can’t live without the other. You know, since Nick now knows that the hubby is a Spinnetod too… shouldn’t he be asking him how many people he’s killed? Just a thought.

So anyway, they know she’s going to kill again, and we see her getting ready in her house. She’s taking a shower, and when she gets out, she sees her face is all wrinkly, so she PULLS OFF HER OWN FACE. What in the actual, scientific fuck?

Shortly thereafter, Nank lead, like, the fucking SWAT team into the house, but she’s already gone. But Nick does find her FACE in the bathroom trash bin, so that’s something. They somehow follow her to the marina where her next victim has a nice boat. The young man goes up to the deck to investigate a noise that turns out to be the cops, and Nick goes below deck to catch the Spinnetod. Of course, she’s already escaped, and the obligatory Nick Chasedown commences. She jumps down on him from above and her pincher/fang things are leaking venom that seems to burn Nick’s shoulder. Ugh. He chases her down the dock and onto another boat where she falls into a net. And can’t get out. And OMG, you guys, I can’t stop laughing. OH, THE IRONY!

So they arrest her, and later pick up the daughter to bring her to her grandmother’s house. In the mirror, Nick sees that she’s also a Spinnetod, and the look of fear on his face is kind of how I feel right now. This was the scariest part of the entire episode. In that one little look of fear, we can understand exactly what Nick is thinking. They caught the woman who murdered all those people, but guess the fuck what. There is another one sitting right there in the back of their car. And there is nothing Nick can do about it. Since he’s not the kind of Grimm who kills, and she has committed no crime, there is nothing to be done. He is essentially unleashing her out into the world. I’m hoping this realization might make Nick get more into his Grimm heritage, and maybe make him reconsider his stance on the Wesen. Team Grimm, World Police!

Okay, there was another little plot line in this episode that I need to discuss – the whole Nick IS a Grimm thing. Okay, so you remember those kids who egged his house? Nick finds their house and confronts the father and his friend, who is the refrigerator repair man! The one guy, who looks like an Eisbiber, says he’s never seen a Grimm before, and the repair man said he only told because no one would believe him. They beg Nick not to kill them, and this is the Nick that I absolutely fucking love. He gets all like he did in the Fuchsbau’s shop last episode. He doesn’t HULKSMASH anything, but he assures them that he won’t kill them unless they harm him or his girlfriend. And they better tell everyone they told, and everyone they told to never come to his house again. They promise they well, and Nick is all, “I hope so, ‘cause I’d hate to have to come back.” The Eisbiber is all, like, “no, of course not. BUT YOU’RE WELCOME ANY TIME!” HAHAHA. Man, I’m so proud of Nick in this moment.

Random Thoughts/Quotes:

• OMG, is this the first “previously on Grimm” we’ve gotten? Cool!
• Random note: This episode “Tarantella” is based on a Japanese story called “The Goblin Spider.” Nice touch, then, that the dead guy was all into Japanese art.
• The dead guy’s girlfriend is named Amy Lewis! AAAAHHHHHH That’s my BFF’s name! Or was before she got married. HOLLA!
• A lot of the locations on this show have really beautiful stained glass.
• “Ich spreche some Deutsch, but that’s it.” I almost choked on my Cheerios.
• Nick asks about rituals and Eddie asks if he’s checked “the web.” LOL
• When Nick is talking to the Eisbiber and friend about not ratting him out as a Grimm, I really like that he throws out his new vocab word “Wesen.” It makes him seem like he knows so much more than he actually does. I heart Nick Burkhardt.

So what did you think of the episode? Was it your favorite? Where does it rank among the previous eps? Were you psyched that Amy Acker made an appearance as the Spinnetod? How much do you love (or hate) bad ass Nick? Y’all know that comments are the bread and butter of a recapper, and I’m hungry! Leave me some comments or I’ll make Badenwurst out of you!