THE VOICE. Blind Auditions 2. I Just Want to Play With You.

Damn Blake is hella tall!

I’mmmm Baaaacccckkkk! Did you miss me? I didn’t think so, but I thought I’d ask, hee! I’m here to bring you all the snark you can handle pertaining to The Voice.

Finally my favorite singing competition is back. At first I thought I’d be burnt out after barely living through The X Factor, but all I needed was Adam and Blake to start bickering and I was right back in it. You won’t find L.A. calling Simon a Son of a Bitch and getting away with it. That’s why I love this show.

I did watch the episode after the Super Bowl, but missed the first few as I had to get home from a party. All I really remember is there was a Kansas dude I should like, because he’s from the homeland, but Opera’s not really my thing. Plus we all know Christina is going to go for the Divas. Oh, and there was the Mickey Mouse Club guy who has already had a song on Friday Night Lights. Poor Tony Lucca didn’t get recognized by Christina and they made her feel bad. Personally I don’t know if I’d recognize a guy I knew 15 years ago. Not everyone ages well and/or looks the same.

On to the actually title of this post, the second night of blind auditions.

The Line “American Girl”– Halley and Leland are a country duo who inexplicably chose TEAM CHRISTINA. Nice knowing ya.

Jamar Rogers “Seven Nation Army”– Former meth addict. It’s the new way to superstardom (see also Chris Rene.) Cee Lo is perfect for him and he’s a hard core fan. It’s cute. He loves the tattoos, too. TEAM CEE LO.

Gwen Sebastian “Stay”– Very unique voice. Adam and Blake were really fighting over her, but she’d be crazy to go with anyone but TEAM BLAKE.

Pamela Rose “Already Gone”– The required “pretty girl that can’t really sing and this is The Voice so she gets rejected.” Then all the guys regret not picking the hot girl.

Kim Yarbrough “Tell Me Something Good”–Diva with a big ole voice. Adam and Christina both hit their buttons. You’d think she’d pick “I’ve never met a note I won’t run” Chrstina, but she goes TEAM ADAM.

Angie Johnson “Heartbreaker”– OK so this girl is awesome. She already has a huge built in fanbase from her YouTube video (army band singing Rolling In the Deep.) Carson actually brought her onto the show. Only one turned around so she’s all TEAM CEE LO. I think she will be his big winner. The other are going to kick themselves when they find out who she is. A built in fanbase is huge.

Dez Duron “I Want It That Way”– Another hottie. I think he’s trying to let them know that with a boy band song. Unfortunately for him that doesn’t get anyone to turn around.

Lindsey Pavao “Say Aah”– She has a unique, baby voice. Apparently they love it. Except Adam. TEAM CHRISTINA. Xtina certainly seems to be getting a weird mix this year. Does she even have a diva yet?

Jermaine Paul “Complicated”– Backup singer for Alicia Keys. Man, haven’t you already had your chance? He really wasn’t that good. He was really pitchy in the beginning and his breath control was awful. Did he run a marathon before this or what? I was surprised Cee Lo and Blake turned around. This dude is vetting the judges like he’s a big shot. “I need to hear keep not want or need, blah, blah, blah.” The dude picked the country guy. What the hell. TEAM BLAKE.

Angel Taylor “Someone Like You”– It was pretty good. Anyone notice how Cee Lo didn’t even have a chance? The poor guy. Blake and Adam fight it out but in the end it’s TEAM BLAKE for Angel.

Observations on the Mentors:

Christina needs to learn how to dress for her body. You are no longer 16 singing about genies. You’re 31 and have gotten closer to the average female figure, yet still dress like you have abs. You don’t. If she would just dress for her new body she’d look great. Some people will never learn.

Cee Lo has quite a few head tattoos. It seems the only way he gets a singer is if he’s the only one to press his button. Why will no one pick him? The dude is mad cool. Still freaks me out when he takes off the sunglasses. THE FUCKING cat! Dr. Evil in the house!

Adam’s a fickle bitch, isn’t he? He hardly ever presses his button. He’s also holding last year’s win over everyone’s head. It is and should be a strong factor in choosing him as your mentor.

Blake Shelton seemed really out of place during the Prince Medley, but he’s still quite charming and knows how to use his wife’s name to get people to pick him.

For those keeping track at home:

TEAM CHRISTINA 4 of 12: Chris Mann, Jesse Campbell, The Line, Lindsey Pavao

TEAM BLAKE 3 of 12: Raelynn, Gwen Sebastian, Jermaine Paul

TEAM CEE LO 3 of 12: Juliet Simms, Jamar Rogers, Angie Johnson

TEAM ADAM 3 of 12: Tony Lucca, Kim Yarbrough, Angel Taylor

So this will be the format for the blind auditions. It’s probably going to change some when we get to different rounds. Let me know what you think. Want videos now? Hate the way I’m doing things? Too fucking bad! No, no, I really do want to know what you think. Tell me all about it in the COMMENTS!!