Clean up on Aisle 5.

“We shall see the crumbs of bread… and they will show us our way home again.”

Well, shit. Grimm’s gone and done it again, y’all. The talk with the Executive Producers two weeks ago really made me optimistic for the coming episodes, and Friday’s ep did not disappoint. I’ve been waiting for this retelling since this show started. Hansel and Gretel. It turned out WAAAAAAAY different than I predicted in my very first recap, and it was SO MUCH BETTER. It was violent without being violent on screen, and it was bloody. And it was gory. And it was pure amazing. Well, done writers/producers/directors/actors/craft services. Well fucking done indeed.

So, let me elaborate. It wasn’t just that it was bloody and gross and actually scary. This episode, which may in fact be my favorite of the season, touched on EVERY story line that I have been bemoaning that they were neglecting. It’s like this show knows me, you guys; we should totally date (Grimm, call me.). They got further away from the procedural-ness they’ve had in episodes past. While it did have quite a bit of detective business at the beginning, it picked up fast right at the part where Nick decided to be a bad ass. And it was hot. I won’t lie. But more on this later. The bad ass-ness, not the hotness, though HEL-lo.

Where was I? Oh, so it was gory and scary, and in one single episode embodied everything that I had hoped this show would be from the get-go. So let’s get to recapping, shall we?

We open on two shirtless guys running through the woods. One of them is apparently named Steven, and they’re being chased by beak-nosed creatures. Steven falls into the river and NotSteven gets dragged back to a shack… where two more people are throwing another body on the barbie. Shit. And if you think Steven made it, think again. He’s all dead and bloated by morning. Which is just the way crows like it, apparently, because they EAT HIS EYES OUT. Blegh.

Once Nank and Wu get to the scene they also notice that the body is very, very pale. And he has two puncture marks on his neck. At the same moment that I shouted “EXSANGUINATED!” at my TV like it’s a caption on the old Batman show, Wu asks if anybody believes in vampires. I love Wu. He just seems so unaffected by everything. He is my people.

So Nank go talk to Harper the ME, and we find out that the kid’s body is down about 7 pints of blood. She also points out that if it wasn’t a vampire (because that would be silly), the puncture wounds are about the right size for an IV needle. She tells the detectives that she saw a lot of this stuff in the 80s when satanic cults were all the rage (LOL), but not now. Nick is on board: “No one puts an IV needle in their neck by accident.” Thank you, Nick. I kind of feel like I need this on a mouse pad or something. Make it happen, internets.

Nank are able to figure out the boy’s identity with a little help from fingerprints, and track him to his P.O. box, which leads them to a plethora of street kids (seriously, Portland? That’s so sad. It also kind of makes me want to move to Portland and like hang out with them and make puka shell necklaces on the street. It kind of reminds me of Joshua the homeless man who lives [lived?] in Boone, NC. I visited my friend who went to college there a couple times, and I only remember encountering him once in the bead store [yes, there is a bead store]. Which is what makes me think of puka shells…). They find a girl named Gracie who sells puka shell necklaces on the street who knows Steven. Nank start questioning her and her brother (Hanson), and find out that Steven recently was offered a job and was taken off in a white van (which seems so suspicious), and the last they saw him was at the free clinic, so Nank haul their asses over there – but not before Nick buys one of the necklaces from Gracie for a cool $20. Hank calls him a softie. Ha.

At the clinic, they encounter Dr. Levine, who is nice enough I suppose, but doesn’t give up much info on Steven. But before Nank can go investigate the shady migrant worker deal, they’re called to a car accident – which leaves blood and actual guts strewn all over the street! There are coolers filled with human organs all busted up on the road, and it is SO gross. They realize it’s not a medical van, and Nick sees his creature face (which is the same as the dudes from the beginning). Back at the station, they’re lamenting their lack of info when Wu comes over. Y’all, I had to pause to jot down notes, and I couldn’t help but smile in anticipation of what he might say. Which turns out isn’t much, but of course it was delivered in a way only Wu can. The sim card of the phone was salvageable, but they’ll need a warrant to get info from the service provider.

And because they’ve hit a roadblock, Nick takes to AM’s trailer to do some research. He reads about Geier (literally “vultures”) and how they like to harvest human organs – while the human is still alive. Fuck that shit. Gross. I once watched a vulture eat a mouse and it was hella disgusting, you guys. I can only… ugh… ugh… *gag*

Nick heads over to Eddie’s Haus for some dinner, conversation, and speculation. Eddie thinks it was part of a “Geier deal.” He explains that humans use parts of exotic animals to cure ailments (like erectile dysfunction), and creatures do the same, but with humans. Eddie gives the example of testicles. Not Nick’s specifically, he clarifies as Nick is about to shovel more ball-like food into his mouth (they look like beans. The food, not his testicles). Testes, Eddie explains, work like Viagra to some species – not that he’s ever used it. Everything on him works fine, he says. GOOD TO KNOW.

Nick pretty much sums the entire conversation up with, “Well, that wasn’t awkward at all.” I love you, Nick.

In the best scene juxtaposition ever, we’re in an… apothecary type shoppe (see what I did there?). Said apothecary/shop keep puts two… nuts in a mortar and starts grinding them with a pestle. Oh, god. Just… bravo, editors/writers. Eddie goes in looking for the “catch of the day,” and for ID Blutbad’s out. The shop keep also shows his creature face (He’s a fuchsbau, which means “fox hole” or “burrow”). Eddie is looking for Gallenblase (literally “gallbladder”), which he buys and brings outside to Nick. After Nick confirms that the contents of the bottle were pure human gallbladder, he goes into the shop himself and this is where shit really gets good.

The shop keep fuchsbau’s out, and as soon as Nick calls him out, he realizes Nick is a Grimm and runs. Cue the obligatory Nick Chasedown. He catches him of course, and gets all up in the guy’s face. And it’s fantastic. He gets a number for the organ supplier then asks to see the shop keep’s stash. Nick is all “You no longer sell human organs,” and fucking knocks the cabinet over and everything is destroyed. HOLY CRAP, NICK! YES! This is monumental, guys. We all know how big of a heart Nick has – what with letting Roddy go, and giving Gracie the $20 for a necklace earlier. But jay-sus, I wonder if Nick is Sicilian because, damn, never go in against him when death human organs are on the line!

As if to strengthen the point I just made, no only does Nick smile when he sees more street kids outside the shop, but he goes home, gives Juliette the necklace and tells her he wants to take the brother/sister street kid duo to dinner. HE IS A SOFTIE! But if I were a creature, I’d totally be shit scared.

So Nick invites them to dinner, and did I make it clear that their names are Hanson and Gracie? Cute. The boy takes his hat off and it’s the kid from Spy Kids (god, why do I know that?)! I thought it was, but wasn’t sure until I saw that flame red hair. And I’ll admit it. Kid’s gotten kind of cute. Anyway, Nick loses no time in interrogating them. We don’t find out much more than we did already except the thing about the white van, and that Gracie has a think for NotSteven, whose real name is Kevin. Kevin tried to get her to go to the job with him, but she refused to leave Hanson, who was sick (and I’d imagine not ripe for organ harvesting because of it). They leave, and Nick tells Juliette that he owes her a better date night. She said no, but they still have time for dessert, which was such a strong come-on I’m surprised Nick doesn’t push her in the car and drive her home right then. Instead, he looks like he’s going to say something – either confess something, or I don’t know, propose marriage because obvs she is perfect for him, but his phone rings and he just tells her he loves her before he answers and gets an address on the reckless driver’s phone, which is the same address of the one and only number the cell phone ever called.

The gang is on it! Nank, Renard and Wu go investigate a trailer out in the woods and find a greenhouse filled with human organs. Are those testicles? The camera pans away too fast for me to be sure. Nick explains to them what Eddie told him about exotic animal organs, and Renard says that whatever the purpose, it’s still cannibalism. Wu says, “I think it’s pronounced capitalism.” LOLcop. Oh, Wu. Never change.

The guy they killed on the way into the trailer’s cell phone rings and it’s the clinic! I knew that doctor was shady! When they get back, Nick is awesome again and gets all up in the nurse’s face and they find their way to the Organ Shack, which incidentally is the location to which Hanson and Gracie have been kidnapped. Because this is a modern retelling of Hansel and Gretel, Hanson manages to leave a trail of puka shells (oh, show), which Nank follow when they get there.

Inside, Dr. Levine is all “let’s start with the girl,” but Nank bust in just in time! Nick follows the doc out, but he can’t find her. He doesn’t remember what Eddie told him about Geier hiding in the trees until the last second. She jumps down on him and slashes him and IT IS ON. Nick tries to save her from falling in the fire pit, but she slashes his hand before falling in and MELTING MELTING WHAT A WORLD. Not really, but she like disappears in the flames.

Nank save the day and rescue the kids, awww. But that was fucking suspenseful, no? Besides the organs and the Hansel and Gretel, I think the best part of this episode was that Nick embraced his Grimm-ness a bit more. And turns out? He’s kind of intimidating when he’s not being a softie.

But there’s more! For all my bitching about Renard, we finally got more of his story. And I can’t figure out if he’s good or bad. Remember back toward the beginning of the season where he cut that dude’s ear off? Well, he gets back to the station, and there’s an ear in a nice carved wooden box with a scythe on the front. Then he gets a call from the mysterious secret organization. The dude tells Renard, “You are going to have to control this Grimm, or get rid of him.” Oh, shit. Renard is all, “Next time you might want to deliver your message in person.” The voice promises that next time they will. DOUBLE OH SHIT.

I know they film these episodes way in advance, but I feel like this show fucking, like, knows me. It gives me just what I want just before I get too antsy. Awesome. Let’s see. What else should I put on my wishlist? I want more Nick and Juliette, writers. I want more of their cutesy relationship, and then I want it torn apart because of DRAMA. And, if you are feeling magnanimous, I’d like Nick to shed a tear or two. Hear me? Make it happen!

Random Thoughts/Quotes:

• What was that organization that the guy says he speaks for called? It sounded like he said “Fahrrad,” but that means “bicycle,” so I don’t think that was it…
• I love that Nick came to Eddie’s Haus for advice on how to tell Juliette about his Grimm heritage. I think Eddie and Nick have really become good friends, and it’s adorable.
• I also love that he wants Eddie to Blutbad out for Juliette, though Eddie says no. Why? Because people can’t handle it when faced with it head on. People who only hear about things and believe them, “They’re not looking directly into the boiling core of the raw universe.” Shit, Eddie. I love you.
• Eddie: “Like I’m one to give advice. Even normal relationships baffle me.”
• When Nank first get to the clinic, the office manager is eating a sandwich, which he just fucking PUTS DOWN ON THE COUNTER. Dick, you work in a CLINIC. Also, even if you didn’t, why would you do that? I just. I can’t right now, you guys. WHO DOES THAT?
• Love-love-loved when they were eating dinner at Eddie’s Haus and Nick was telling him all the details of the case and Eddie interrupts to ask if Nick even knows what his favorite color is, and OMG the underappreciated wife. Love it. Absolutely love it.
•  “What’s your favorite color?” “You don’t mean that.” “No really, I want to know.” “…red.” “I feel so much closer to you now.” (The Bromance is so strong, I almost can’t take it.)
• When Gracie is at the clinic when she has a fever, the doctor is all “I’d tell you to stay in bed, but..” Wow, bitch.
• This episode was called “Organ grinder.” YESSSSSSS.

So what did you guys think? Did you love this episode so much you want to make sweet, sweet love to it? Do you think Renard is going to control Nick or destroy him? What do you think the mysterious organization is up to? Do you think Nick will ever tell Juliette? Comment below? Please and thank you!