The Lying Game. I Know You Had Some Come-to-Jesus-Moment with My Husband.

It’s our first episode of The Lying Game where both Sutton and Emma are actually being themselves! And I must say, props to miss Alexandra Chando. I know that this show is soapy and ridiculous and over-the-top and the story is really, really frustrating sometimes because it never lets the viewer in, but those aren’t Chando’s problems, and she is a really good actress. I’m amazed at the amount of nuance she brings to Emma and the amount of fire and intensity she brings to Sutton. I mean, I know that the girls are polar opposites and that makes it a little easier to play, but she does a really, really good job. I’m especially impressed with her portrayal of Sutton and the mix of condescension and desperation she somehow manages to balance. Maybe that’s because we’ve seen a lot more of Emma than we have of Sutton, but, still. It can’t be easy playing two characters in one show. (Or maybe it is. I am not an actress so I have no idea. It definitely seems hard to me.)

Anyway, I found this episode, “Black and White and Green All Over,” to be especially frustrating. There was a lot of characters talking around topics instead of talking about them and it really makes me want to stomp my foot and scream at people and storm out of the room. Actually, Laurel did exactly that in one scene and I was like, “SHE IS THE AUDIENCE. SHE FEELS OUR PAIN.” But of course she does, because Laurel is our homegirl. But outside of this episode being highly frustrating, it also gave us a lot of Miss Sutton and her—surprise!—jealousy of Emma once she realizes how much better Emma is at being a human than Sutton is. Sutton goes into manipulation mode and I found it to be really pathetic. It was almost this sense that she suddenly realized everything she once had was slipping away and she was doing everything she could think of to hold onto it. And, not surprisingly, the only person who seems to be giving into that is Emma. I find it to be a very interesting power struggle, and one that I wasn’t really expecting. So I guess that’s one thing the show has got goin’ for it.

The majority of the episode was devoted to preparation, and then the actual, Black and White Ball at the country club, which is basically a debutante ball. The writers tried to spin it so that it was more of an induction of membership for the children of the members, but 1) that makes no sense, and 2) it was a deb ball. Or maybe it does make sense. I was never a country club person, so if any of you out there in the Internet were/are, please do enlighten me.

So, on Sutton’s first morning back in her own bed, she awakes to learn that the Black and White Ball is that night or weekend or whatever, and that there is a lovely $300.00 white dress for her to wear, and an  Ethan as a date on her arm. Sutton is pleased by everything but the white dress, which of course Emma picked out, but which she deems as plain. As she’s bitching about it, she sees Emma standing at one of the giant windows motioning her back to the bedroom with an exterior door. Sutton informs Emma that she (as in Sutton) will be attending the ball with Ethan and that there is nothing Emma can do about it. When Emma accepts this, she then asks if it would be possible for her to stay in the closet since Dan can’t know who she is and therefore she can’t sleep at Ethan’s trailer. Sutton straight up tells her no, Emma is understandably upset, especially after the I-want-you-to-be-my-sister shit Sutton pulled last episode, but Sutton remains resolute.

The rest of the Sutton/Emma/Ethan storyline of this episode is that Ethan is pissed at Sutton for kicking Emma out. He informs Sutton that he’ll be moving Emma into the Mercer Cabin, and after some Sutton maneuvering in which she forces him to act like her boyfriend because “someone is watching” and thinks they are together, he hatches a plan to publicly break up with Sutton at the ball and then abscond with Emma to some lake where his grandpa used to take him when his dad was doing things that are very vague and his brother wasn’t around. I swear to God, that was the story Ethan gave Emma about his dad. Anyway, Sutton goes to the cabin to visit Emma and she tells her that she doesn’t want her to go. Sutton starts with the I-don’t-wanna-lose-my-twin-sister shit again, and says that once they find the attacker that they’ll go to Ted and Kristen and explain that they happened to find each other. But, of course they’ll leave out the whole Emma-being-Sutton part. After this, Emma tells Ethan that she doesn’t want to run away, so he agrees to not break up with Sutton at the ball, but promises that afterward he’ll come back to the cabin to stay with Emma.

The Mercers

On the Laurel front, she is still trying to figure out what the hell happened between Justin and Ted. She tells Sutton that Justin was basically dating her for revenge and Sutton tells her that that is crazy fucked up and that she should go to the Mercers and tell them. Laurel, who is wearing a red dress that needs to be in my closet immediately, begs her not to tell anyone until she decides what to do and how she feels about the whole thing. But of course, Sutton doesn’t do that. She tells the Mercers about who Justin really is and what his motives really are. Ted knows immediately what she’s talking about—apparently it happened in L.A., and the fallout from that particular surgery was the reason why the Mercers moved back to Phoenix. Ted immediately goes to Justin, and says that it’s his biggest mistake, though he never says what the mistake was, and that he thinks about it and regrets it and pays for it everyday. It is a seriously annoying conversation since they really aren’t saying anything that is helpful or moves the story along.

But Kristen. Kristen has a bit of an understanding about what went down (she was told that an artery was knicked), but now she’s pissed that she never received the full story—especially since it directly impacted her life—and is mad that she didn’t know Ted was distracted. Apparently at the time they had been having difficulties getting preggers, so she’s concerned she is the phone call and the reason why Justin’s mom died. Ted swears that the distraction wasn’t her, but he won’t tell her what it actually was. She’s hurt and I really, really hope that she starts doing some digging.

So after learning that Sutton told Ted and Kristen about Justin, Laurel feels betrayed by Sutton and accuses her of being selfish and manipulative and horrible again and that she should have known better than to think that they could have really become close. Sutton then mutters, “I don’t know anything about sisters, and she’s the big expert.” Now, this obviously confuses Laurel, who says, “She?” Sutton covers and says “I mean, you.” But Y’ALL. That is a HUGE mistake, especially coming from Sutton. It makes me wonder if it was on purpose.

The Rybeks

At first Mads was going to take Thayer as her date, even though he’s her brother, since the Hot Male Ballet Teacher was done away with many moons ago, but she ends up going with Ryan instead. Shocking, I know. In a moment of family bonding, Mads suggests that Adrian Pasdar take Cordy to the Black and White Ball. So he does. But, y’all, the “bonding” scenes between Cordy and Mads really freaked me out. It was like Mads was trying really hard to get her dad laid by talking him up and telling Cordy how pretty she is (which, I mean, true.), but it was super, super weird.

Also, Adrian Pasdar knows what was distracting Ted during the surgery-that-killed-Justin’s-mom, but, of course he does.

Also also, Emma once again tried to convince Thayer that Adrian Pasdar is the one who tried to killed Sutton. But he says, “I’m telling you, Emma, it’s not him.” HMMMM. Could it have been Thayer? If you think about it, he definitely has a motive.

The Black and White Ball

Ethan is there in all his tuxed-out glory and he looks very nice. Sutton’s band-aid on her forehead is awesome. So, they dance and Sutton forces him to kiss her like he means it, and it’s really weird and a tidbit rapey. Did anyone else get that impression? So, Ethan leaves and goes back to the cabin so he can tell Emma that Sutton kissed him and then they can make out whilst half-naked in front of the roaring fireplace.

Kristen (awesomely) keeps Justin from talking to Laurel by literally standing in between them (Keep Away-style) and telling him to leave. I loooooved that. Way to go Kristen! She’s getting lots of points from me this episode. Hopefully they really develop her. (Hear that, show? FOLLOW THROUGH.) A little later Justin watches Laurel through the window like a creepy creeper. He keeps trying to win Laurel back when she goes outside to talk to him because she just can’t resist. Hells her that he loves her and her laugh and her dance moves and her nose crinkling. Fine, whatever Justin. If that’s even your real name.

Cordy and Mads continue to awkwardly bond. I am still seriously freaked out about how hard she’s working at trying to get her dad laid. Then Sutton goes to talk to Ryan and we learn all about “that night” they had in NINTH GRADE wherein they lost their virginity to each other. You guys. NINTH GRADE. That’s, like, what, fourteen-year-olds? Now, I remember being in ninth grade and feeling all of the hormones and I’m pretty sure there were at least a couple girls I knew of who were having sex back then, but now that I’m ten years removed from that, FOURTEEN FREAKING YEARS OLD seems so young. And so not ready for sex. I just had to get that out there. Anyway, Sutton and Ryan rehash how she humiliated him at some costume party/cops calling prank thing. Then she says, “Just let me know when you get tired of Mads.” UGH.

We learn that Adrian Pasdar is apparently only dating Cordy to ensure that she will keep her mouth shut. Or maybe that’s just his excuse to Ted. Whatever. Dan shows up to talk to Adrian Pasdar about an urgent police matter, which turns out to be that Annie Hobbs was found talking to herself near Mercer Manor, but now she’s at the local hospital. You know what’s convenient? Sutton heard the WHOLE THING. So, naturally, she goes to the cabin to grab Emma and take her to see Annie. She walks in on Emma and Ethan and the half-nakedness and the roaring fireplace sexytimes, but she doesn’t let that faze her. She grabs Emma and Ethan, and they all go off to the hospital. I think maybe Thayer was there too. Once both girls are in the room, Annie Hobbs insists her baby is dead, despite seeing both girls. Turns out, Annie Hobbs is not their mom even though she did have a baby on the same day, in the same hospital they were born in. Her baby did die and it made Annie Hobbs crazy. She heard the girls’ birth mother giving them up, so Annie took Emma and things were fine (except for the whole BABY STEALING thing) until the fire. Annie Hobbs says she didn’t know who the woman was and that the name listed on the chart was Jane Doe. (Because when one steals a baby one has time to check the name on the chart?) When asked about Adrian Pasdar, Annie Hobbs insists she’s said too much and that the girls aren’t safe. Then Annie says that the guy who she saw at the lake was “The Snake.” So, there’s that.

So at the tail end of the episode, Adrian Pasdar calls Cordy to let her know he had a good time. She gives some line about how she can’t believe this is happening to them,  and then she says good night before turning to go down the hospital hallway (!!!!!!) and into Annie’s room (!!!!!!) where she looks very Evil Cordy and calls Annie Hobbs by her name!

Ok, y’all, what the hell is going on in this show? Does anyone feel like we have even less information than we did at the beginning? (I know that’s next to impossible, but . . . you get what I mean.) Have any of you read these books and want to just go ahead and spoil it for us? Because you have my blessing. (Commenters, feel free to protest that.) And please do tell me what you think about things in comments!

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