Hello everyone and welcome to my recap of the strangest Revenge episode we’ve had yet. Now, I don’t mean strange in the “This show has a lady who carries around a log and thinks it’s a material witness to a grisly murder.” I mean strange in that not a whole lot happened, but it felt like a whole lot happened. This episode, “Treachery,” was more of a set-up episode for the things that are to come, which apparently includes Jack and Amily gettin’ it on on Amanda The Boat and Emanda being NOT SO HAPPY about that. Or so we’re led to believe in the teaser trailer for next week’s episode.

But before we can talk about next week, we have to deal with this week. Unless we have the TARDIS and can just skip ahead in time and space to the day that brings us more Jack. Alas.

The Graysons

• Conrad and Victoria are not playing nice. She has kicked him out of the house and he has taken up residence at the South Fork Inn. Now, why he chose to go to the place where his affair with Lydia was outed, I do not know. Perhaps it’s the only suitable living option in the Hamptons. Perhaps he likes to be reminded of the time he was eating soup and then went into some sort of dyspeptic blah blah blah. But, don’t you find it odd that a man with the sort of wealth that Conrad Grayson has doesn’t have, like, a second Hamptons home? Or a fancy-pants Manhattan penthouse on Central Park East? Whatever. He’s south-forking around at the South Fork Inn.
• Victoria’s rage toward Conrad only increases when they learn of Frank’s untimely demise and Conrad tells her she should be relieved since so many secrets died with him. Victoria is not relieved.
• Charlotte stays the night at The Stowaway with Declan but nothing really happens. Also, she is sad her dad has been relegated to the South Fork Inn.
• Daniel quits his bartending gig at The Stowaway, much to Jack’s delight and much to Tyler’s horror since Tyler wants to basically fill the Daniel-sized void left in The Graysons hearts. Daniel tells Conrad he wants to finally grow up and help with the family business. Conrad is pleased with this.
• Not in a Coma Lydia is staying at The Graysons. She remembers past things, but not recently-past things. (Read: she remembers Emanda’s face from the New Year’s Eve 2003 photo, but not that Emanda bought her beach house.)
• V accuses Conrad of basically everything Emanda/Nolan have done and has the locks changed.

The Porters

• Declan wants to have sexy times on Amanda the Boat with Charlotte. Jack thinks this is a bad idea, but says he’ll talk to Nolan and see if Declan can use the boat that night anyway.
• Jack meets Amily, but we’ll get to that in A BIT.
• Jack and Nolan make up and decide to be friends again.

Event of the Week: NONE.
I know! I’m as confused as you are! But I suppose that even kajillionaires need a vacation from throwing parties and attending charity events and generally flaunting their wealth.

Tyler/Ashley
So, this was one of the more interesting developments in the episode for me. Ashley is becoming increasingly resentful of Emanda’s wealth and is much more vocal about it. And she is especially vocal about her mounting hatred of Queen Bee V, who orders Ashley to go to Manhattan and collect all of Lydia’s belongings, but only after calling Ashley out for staying the night with Tyler in the guest house by making a bitchy comment about the fact that Ashley is wearing the same dress she had on the night before.

But, really y’all, that’s Ashley’s own fault. I’m not gonna tell the girl she shouldn’t be hooking up with her bisexual asshat of a boyfriend who LIVES with her employer, but she really should bring a change of clothes with her. Or have him shack up at her place. Ashley is a smart girl with some serious aspirations and a kick-ass job as the assistant to one of the wealthiest and most powerful women in the Hamptons (read: THE WORLD.) So in my opinion she needs to continue kicking ass at her job and dig up some dirt on some wealthy-ass people and then blackmail the shit out of them. Or marry up. (Because, Ashley is gorgeous and British and has awesome clothes. I’m sure she has better options than Tyler.)

Anyway, the two of them drink vodka together and talk about their mutual hatred for Emanda and Queen Bee V and decide they shouldn’t play nice any longer. At the end of the episode, we see Tyler has nabbed the shredded copy of Lydia’s benefit speech that was going to out the Graysons for their involvement in the plane crash and subsequent framing of David Clarke and is piecing it together. I’m sort of really excited about where this might lead.

Amily

Alright! At the beginning of the episode, we see a very determined-looking Emanda driving Amily . . . somewhere . . . in the wee hours of the still-dark morning. Emanda is not happy with Amily for killing Frank and Amily is very confused as to why. Eventually Emanda apologizes to Amily for being mean to her and then thanks her for killing Frank. The dynamic between these two is way weird to me, almost as if Emanda is afraid of Amily. Which is completely understandable, seeing as how Amily is the ONE person (well, other than The Warden—btw, the actress’s name is CHH Pounder, which amuses me to no end—but we know she’s on Emanda’s side) who could take Emanda down if she were to go public. Anyway, after a nice flashback of Emanda and Amily beating the hell out of each other in the juvey cafeteria in a truly great girl-fight scene (although, there needed to be more hair and more scratching. Every girl fight I’ve seen ended with copious amounts of hair on the ground and lots of scratch marks on the girl’s faces/arms/chests/what have you), and then they are at Nolan’s place and it’s sunny outside. So I guess Nolan lives far away from Emanda?

Anyway, Robo-Ed is hanging out and Emanda tells Nolan, who is still wearing his awesome silk Chuck Bass robe, that this girl needs to stay with him for a couple days at the most until Emanda can figure out what to do with her. Nolan obviously wants to know who the girl is, but Emanda says it’s better if he doesn’t know and then leaves. So, there’s Nolan and Amily, staring at each other. He tries to dig for info, but she deftly dodges all of his questions and then starts to get undressed because she wants to go swimming. Nolan tells her to go to the pool house and pick a swimsuit. And, of course, he has a swimsuit that is the perfect color and perfect fit to flatter her in every possible way. I mean, it doesn’t hurt that the girl has a rockin’ body but still. Girl looked AWESOME.

So she jumps into the pool and is swimming around and Nolan is (probably taking pleasure in) watching her and then he spots her jacket, which has a fairly large blood stain on it. Nolan snags the jacket and gives it to Robo-Ed to have it analyzed. Then Emanda calls Nolan and tells him that Not-in-a-Coma Lydia is not in a coma and that he needs to photoshop Emanda out of the NYE photo stat.

Around the time that Nolan leaves, Jack shows up and finds Amily breast-stroking her way through the pool. They have a very intense staring contest and then she asks him to lotion her up and then makes him some sort of drink called a Black Dhalia and then speaks Russian to him. He is obviously into her, because what guy wouldn’t be into the hot, Russian-speaking, swimsuit clad girl in front of him? It also became very obvious to me during the Amily-Sexily-Makes-a-Drink-at-Eight-in-the-Morning Scene that she would be the new bartender. I mean, obvs. So Jack tells Amily that he has to get going, but for her to tell Nolan that he should go see him at The Stowaway.

Literally right after Jack leaves, Emanda shows up again and tells Amily that she’s going to set up a new bank account and identity for her and that Amily should go to Paris to live in Emanda’s Paris apartment. UM, MAIS OUI. Amily tells Emanda that she met the famous Jack Porter and I’m all, “OH HERE WE GO, Y’ALL.” But Emanda kind of shrugs it off. She probably shouldn’t have.

At some point we get another flashback with The Warden telling Emanda that she should gain Amily’s trust and make her a friend and confidante and lackey. It’s all really weird to me.

A little bit later, Nolan has figured out that Amily killed Frank and he marches Amily over to Emanda’s place, demanding to know what the plan is. Emanda tells him that Amily is headed to Paris that night and won’t be in the way any long. Then Emanda tells Amily that her new name will be something like Kendra Wilkins, which apparently was Emanda’s mom’s name, but all I can think about is Kendra Wilkinson and that makes me really upset because I’d rather not remember that she exists. Anyway, Emanda drives Amily to the airport.

Emanda/Daniel

But when Emanda returns home, things are not calm. There, in her place, stand two detectives and Daniel. The detectives identify themselves and say that they’re there to question Emanda about her possible involvement int he death of Frank the Security Guy. Because she’s badass, Emanda takes all of this in stride, even when she “learns” that Queen Bee V had Frank investigating her and that before his bludgeoning by tire iron he calls V and told her he had some major info about Emanda. She admits, in front of Daniel, that she had a rough past and spent two years in juvey for defending herself against her abusive foster father, but that’s why she’s so devoted to charity now that she’s swimming in money.

But the lady detective isn’t buying Emanda’s story. The detectives ask where she was between Midnight and 6AM that morning and Daniel jumps in, proudly saying that she was in bed with him. Emanda quietly corrects him and says that she did slip out to go to the fish market. The lady detective checks the refrigerator and lo and behold there is a filet of, like, Norwegian Salmon or something that is time-stamped at 5:36 (or something) AM. So huzzah for that.

After learning that his mother was being meddlesome regarding Emanda, Daniel storms over to Grayson Manor and yells at his mom for having her investigated. Queen Bee V attempts to justify her excuse and says something about how he should be glad that they know about her past and Daniel yells at her some more and asks if she’s happy that they dug up information about her defending herself against her awful foster father. V says she’d rather they didn’t find anything. At that point, Daniel has HAD IT and he tells his mom that he was the last person willing to stand up for her, but he’s not willing to do that any longer. So, he basically shunned his mom. We’ll see whether or not the shunning will be Amish-style. (Obviously not since we know about the Engagement Party from Hell. I just really wanted to say Amish-style.)

At this point, Daniel basically moves in with Emanda and then we see—who else?—Amily watching the two of them outside of Emanda’s place.

Then we see another flashback to the juvey days. A long-haired, brunette Emanda is there waiting on Amily to be released. Amily is over-joyed to see her and they talk about how they’re basically sisters and how much they love each other and all that jazz. Then Emanda tells Amily that she came into a good deal of money and gives Amily half a million dollars. Amily is all, “Um, thank you, but what are the strings here, ho?” And Emanda talks about how she tried to be Amanda Clarke, but how hard it was and how she’s not strong enough to be that girl and deal with that kind of attention, which is obviously bullshit since we all know how strong and incredible awesome she really is and that there was no way she could have the last name “Clarke” if she was going to destroy the very people who destroyed her life. Then she tells Amily that she has a plan, but it requires Amily’s involvement. And thus, Emanda and Amily were born.

At the end of the episode, Amily shows up at The Stowaway after-hours. Jack makes her a Black Dahlia and they stare and flirt and she speaks Russian to him again and announces her plan to stay in the Hamptons for awhile. I am weirdly ok with this development because I think I really kind of like Amily, and I like the chemistry between her and Jack, and because Emanda needs a run for her money. This is going to be FUN, y’all.

Random Things

• Toward the end of the episode, Emanda and Daniel are getting into bed together and we’re hearing Emanda’s closing voice over, and this happens:
  “If you meddle too long in deep dark things,” CAMERA FOCUSES ON DANIEL, “who knows what monsters you’ll awaken.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT COULD IT MEAN?!
• I also liked Jack’s response when Daniel acknowledged that things between him and Jack been strained. It was something like, “Oh because you got drunk during your first shift or because I hit on your girlfriend?” JACK!
• Then there was this little back and forth between Nolan and Amily:
  Amily: “I can amuse myself”
  Nolan: “I have no doubt.”
• Also, if you don’t tool around on the Revenge website in your spare time (and, really, what the hell else are you doing?) you need to know about this video in which Gabriel Mann and the show’s costumer designer, Jill Ohannesson chat about Nolan’s style. So many pocket squares!

What did y’all think of “Treachery”? Did you pick up on anything I didn’t? How’d you feel about Miss Amily? Do you have any predictions or theories or INSIDE INTEL you’d like to share? Let it be known in comments!