"I hate it here. I can't wait to graduate." "Yeah, but summer's going to totally kick ass."

This show loves me. It just reads my mind and makes my wildest dreams come true. Because those Model UN kids? I was totally one of them. And not just for the weekend trips with my friends. Oh, no. I did it for fun because I’m a geek. I’ve represented half a dozen countries. I wrote position papers. I solved world crises. I got shit done.

But now it’s time for Pawnee’s high school to hold their very own Model UN conference. The Parks Department is helping out for some reason or other and are taking control of some of the smaller countries which had not been claimed. Leslie is Denmark, Ben is Peru, Andy is Finland, April is… I can’t even remember what country she negotiated for but she’s also the moon.  Ron is opposed to government in general so of course he thinks MUN is stupid. A worldwide supergovernment is basically his hell on earth.

Unsurprisingly, Leslie is a Pawnee Model UN legend. She’s using the MUN event to bolster her education stance for her campaign. She’s having a bit of trouble balancing her campaign work with her Model UN resolution drafting. The political posturing is difficult for Ben, too, who doesn’t appreciate having to stand on the sidelines while she’s doing a photo op. Ben calls her selfish, which she kind of is. Despite the conversation they had last week about needing to realize they’re not in a relationship anymore, Leslie is fighting that with every fiber of her being. She’s basically acting as if they’re still together just, like, without the sex. It’s not working out so well for either of them, but Leslie, being Leslie fights back by calling on her Scandinavian brothers to unleash hell on Peru. The situation elscalates to the point where Ben interrupts the meeting, passes a resolution to end of world hunger with neither pomp nor circumstance, and asks for a formal condemnation of Denmark. Denmark refuses to recognize the UN’s authority and re-enacts Nikita Khruschev’s shoe-banging speech.

Peru and Denmark get evicted for ruining the club. April and Andy force Ben and Leslie to sit down and talk out their issues once and for all. (Full disclosure: when Andy starts talking about his Camp David experiences in high school, hanging out in a David’s backyard, having bonfires, I imigine that it happened in Everwood, Colorado.) The two reconcile when Leslie admits that Ben’s too important to her for her to imagine not having him in her life at all. Leslie proposes a treaty that they have a fun converation once a day at work for five minutes. They also recognize that they need to turn the conference around for the kids by doing something fun. At their age, Ben would’ve enjoyed Kathy Ireland doing naked aerobics for them (and after google-imaging her I can understand why) but he has something a little different in mind. They outdo themselves, organizing a statewide Model UN conference to be held in the City Council Chambers with the Pawnee club running the show.

In the Rec Department offices, Tom is still terrible at business models. He thinks Enron will make a comeback. I wonder what it’s like to live in Tom’s mind. Probably terrifying. Ron offers Tom his job back which he has in fact done so several times but Tom still thinks he’s an entrepreneur. He doesn’t want to admit to anyone, least of all himself, that he failed at his dream. Ron makes it his personal mission to get Tom to accept his old position because seeing him spray cologne samples at the mall is depressing for all parties involved. Tom helps Ron interview for his old position. The candidate pool is stacked with losers. In the end, Tom tricks Ron into begging him to come back to work in front of everyone before declining the offer yet again. After Ron kicks the shit out of him, Tom returns, heavily censored welcome speech and all. With Tom back in the office, Jerry is reduced to a PVC desk in front of the copier.

Chris Traeger is having some relationship problems and seeks advice from Ann Perkins. I want to be super pissed at him for going to an ex – one who didn’t even know that he broke up with her – for advice, but frankly I’m just happy his hair looks a little better. And since his hair is better, just assume that I’ll be paying more attention to admiring his beauty than his plot functions, okay? It basically boils down to him launching a “full scale investigation” as to why Millicent won’t call him back. Their first four dates had gone so well. He approaches Jerry and forces him to be uncomfortable while he and Ann rehash their relationship in front of him and Donna.

Notable, Quotable & all the other things Wonderful:

• Ben and Leslie’s super-cool MUN handshake that resulted in him getting slapped. Complete with finger-guns and sound effects.
• Leslie confronting Ben in Model UN speak, e.g. “The nation of Denmark would like to formally request a summit with the nation of Peru. Over there. By the refreshment table. Because the nation of Denmark needs a juicebox.”

• “I kind of want to roll up my sleeves and make geopolitical problem solving my bitch.” – Ben Wyatt is my soul mate

• “Andy will you be Iceland?” “The bad guys from Mighty Ducks 2? Don’t think so.” “How about Japan?” “The bad guys from Karate Kid 2? Even worse. How about Germany? They’ve never been the bad guys.”

• “He’s a million year old racist.” “He said he likes ethnic women, Tom.”

• “I just traded all of Finland’s boring stuff for every other country’s lions. I definitely have more lions than any other country in the world right now.”

• “Shut up, Bulgaria.”

• “Food, shmood. This is war. It’s time for you to nut up, Switzerland.”

• “The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your mother!”

• “Denmark no longer recognizes the authority of this international gang of thugs.”

• “Yeah, we got the moon. What are you going to do without tides, Peru?”

• “Jogging is the worst, Chris! I mean, I know it keeps you healthy, but at what cost?”

What were your favorite moments? Has this suddenly become your favorite P&R episode, because it is mine. (Sorry, Greg Pikitis!) Were you, too, a member of your high school Model UN club? Want to know some of the chants that we came up with? (Yes, my MUN club had chants and cheers.) Which country would you like to represent? Hit the comments and let me know. I’m dying to talk about my new favorite episode.