New Girl. I Don’t Dance. I’m From the Town in Footloose.

So there comes a time in every television show’s life when the writers have a great idea for an episode. And while that idea is funny and a seemingly incredible premise, what comes out of the idea is absolutely nothing that moves the plot forward and a whole bunch of great one-liners.

Last night’s episode of New Girl, CeCe Crashes, is an example of this type of episode. I guess that maybe you could argue that the plot point of Nick and Jess’s eventual hook up/relationship/end of blissful apartment camaraderie was moved forward by about a millimeter, but that’s really it. Everything else was just Winston and Schmidt trying to suavely hit on CeCe. They were not suave. But! They were funny. So that’s good.

Basically, the idea for this episode is one I can get behind: What would happen if CeCe spent the weekend at the apartment? Theoretically this sounds really great, right? She’s a freaking model and all of the dudes in that apartment are single and (for now) straight. That right there is cause for sitcom writing gold, and I did laugh a bunch, so I won’t bust the writers’ chops for going with it.

The reasoning behind why CeCe is staying over is that she catches her face-tattooed, Eurotrash DJ of a boyfriend cheating on her. CeCe calls Jess to come get her (Jess goes to the club in pajamas and then beep-beeps her way through the crowd. It’s fab.) and then asks if she can stay at Jess’s for the rest of the weekend since face-tattooed, Eurotrash DJ is staying at her place.

Because Jess has known CeCe since they were in middle school, she isn’t thrilled about this arrangement because Jess knows that CeCe is a man-eater. But, because she’s such a good friend, Jess agrees to let her stay anyway. Obviously, the guys aren’t upset about the information. Well, except for Nick, who wanted to have a laid back weekend. (How I love him.)

For the rest of the episode, Schmidt and Winston ogle CeCe and unsuccessfully try to hit on her. (The whole cleavage/ 127 Hours thing really unsettled me. I mean, think about it: how would you like have someone’s arm elbow-deep in your cleavage? Actually, on second thought, no one answer that. I don’t know y’all or your, um, sexual preferences.) Winston has great fun making Schmidt look like an idiot in front of CeCe, and CeCe has great fun ordering both of them around—she banishes Schmidt to the roof, where an orange-eyed cat he is terrified of lives, and demands that Winston make her a sandwich. Both of them do as they’re told.

Meanwhile, Nick has no interest in CeCe, and CeCe decides this is because he’s into Jess. She tells Jess this is so, and Jess hates this information because she likes the apartment dynamic just as it is. Then CeCe tells Jess of this weird rule where men point their feet in the direction of the thing they are interested in and then forces Jess into going with Nick to a Walgreens-type place.

While in the Walgreens-type place, Jess realizes that Nick’s feet always point toward her and this causes her to hop around like a crazy person, just so she can stare at the direction of his feet some more. They still always point toward her. So she’s freaking out, and then they are driving home together, and while at a stop light one of those random vendors who walk up to your car to sell you things comes buy and literally sticks roses through the rolled-down window, suggesting that Nick buy one for Jess. He buys two. Jess FREAKS OUT, gets out of the car, and awkwardly runs away.

When both Nick and Jess make it back home, Nick yells at Jess about how he drove around for an hour looking for her and what was she thinking just getting out of the car in the middle of the intersection and I just adore him. Jess convinces CeCe to not talk to Nick about any sort of anything and so I assume this means the two of them (meaning Nick and Jess) will continue to flirt and not do anything other than that. Which I am ok with because I love a good slow burn of a love story. Anyway, the two of them end up having a really strange teeth-brushing scene, in which Jess apologizes to Nick for being weird while she has a bunch of toothpaste in her mouth. It’s gross. But I guess when you’re roomies with a dude, stuff like that happens. (?)

At the end of the episode, CeCe, who is staying in Schmidt’s bed because the couch is uncomfortable (and because he “sheep-dogged” her into his room when she was drunk), apologizes to Schmidt for being a jerk to him. Then she holds his hand as she falls asleep. But she tells him that if he tells anyone about the hand-holding, she has two contacts in her phone who will kill him. Apparently Schmidt is good with that, because he calls Winston FROM HIS BED to let him know that he “closed” (the deal?) after CeCe falls asleep. Winston lets Schmidt know that “closing” does not mean holding hands.

Random Things

• Jess’s perfect man is apparently Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men. CeCe then says that Nick is a Walter Matthau type. I don’t think I understand this comparison. (read: I want to make out with Jake M. Johnson. I do not want to make out with Walter Matthau.)*
• Was anyone else totally distracted by the weird freckle-moles on Max Greenfield’s body?
• Schmidt has the same noise machine that Zoe Hart’s mom bought for her on this week’s episode of Hart of Dixie. (And now you all know the REALLY RIDICULOUS THINGS I notice.)
• WHERE IS DOUCHE-BAG JAR?!
• “Sometimes she’s just like, ‘Bitch, I love you,’ and just hangs up. No further information. I kind of like when she calls me bitch. It makes me feel like Janis Joplin.”—Jess, about CeCe.
•  There was a third new intro for this episode! What is with this show and the different intros?! If they’re going to have a new one every episode, they need to commit. I don’t know why, but it’s driving me bonkers.
• “You are laughing at thousands of years of samurai culture.”—Schmidt, defending his (very short) kimono.

So what did y’all think of this episode? Tell me your THOUGHTS and FEELINGS (but not your preference on arms in cleavage) in comments. 

*Yes, I realize Walter Matthau is no longer living. But I decided to not be gross and say “Walter Matthau’s corpse” because, duh, I don’t want to make out with a corpse. Unless you consider vampires to be corpses and then I will have to AMEND that statement since I totes want to make out with certain vampires. AND OMG I need to stop typing.