Suburgatory. Airbeds for the homeless.

A couple things to start off with:

  • Anyone want to bet the over under on “OMG, I want to be in the shower with Jeremy Sisto!” comments? Don’t act like I don’t know my audience.
  • I’m still struggling with this show’s direction. Where is it all going? Everything just feels week-to-week with no overarching storyline or theme. A new character is introduced and then abandoned in nearly every episode (Lisa’s dumb brother, Jay Mohr, tranny Gladys). Are we learning lessons? Is it a comedy? Is everything just sarcastic for sarcasms sake? Throw me a bone here Suburgatory.

Alright, so tonight is about touching cultural issues such as sharing, wastefulness, and caring for those less fortunate than ourselves. In true Chatswin fashion, however, they clueless as to how the world works.

Tessa is disturbed by all the uneaten food thrown in the trashcans of the school cafeteria. Not only is it uneaten, but a majority of it is completely untouched. Tessa proves her point by grabbing an apple out of the trashcan. She does decide however, perhaps the 5 second rule is a little too liberal for apples out of the trash. In any case, Mr. Wolf, the guidance counselor feels that raising awareness of wastefulness is a teachable moment and puts Tessa in charge of organizing the school to help others.

Too bad that train of goodness gets derailed by Dalia. She manages to hijack the school assembly with a Daliaesque story about wandering away from her posh vacation spot in Orlando to where the locals live. She saw suffering. Extreme suffering. People there had dry skin and frizzy hair. Oh the humanity!
 To try to rerail the train (is that a thing?), Tessa brings in a homeless shemale that hung out in Manhattan near Tessa’s former place of residence. In trying to point out that there are people in great need closer than Florida, the Chatswin students bring things hyperlocal and choose Tessa as the focal point of their pity. As a result, George and Tessa’s house is inundated with small appliances. In order to fulfill her desire to help, Tessa ships it all off to Gladys in the city. Somehow, Gladys manages to sell off the stuff and get herself back on her feet, including a tent and a cell phone to help her turn tricks.

Meanwhile, George heads over to Noah’s house to put a skylight in Noah’s bathroom, because apparently putting in one skylight in the first episode officially makes him the expert in all things skylight.

Now let me just say that if I had a bathroom like Noah’s, I don’t think I would need any other rooms in my house. I already spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, er, um, “reading” so this is certainly no stretch to think I could spend more time there. If I get lonely, I’ll just pick up a conversation with the Japanese talking toilet. Anyway, George begins work on the skylight but is soon drawn in by the allure of the amazing steam shower with the “undercarriage cleaner.” Fortunately, nobody is home. Well, except the maid. After she walks in on him, he runs out of the shower for some reason and slips on the marble floor and cracks his tooth on the counter. That means a trip to the local dentist aka Noah.

In case you are a Raising Hope watcher, the dental assistant is the baby sitter, Shelley, that had the dead-tooth. Dead tooth to dental assistant. Nice transition.

Well, from what we’ve seen on the show, this is apparently George’s second job ever since moving to the suburbs a couple months ago so apparently things are tight and he isn’t ready for the $2,600 bill that Noah sent him for fixing the tooth. Meanwhile George gave Noah a break on the skylight since they were friends. Uh oh, looks like they are having a bit of a falling out.

After coming to terms with the fact that they are in competition and they will just have to deal with it, things get patched up, including George’s tooth. George hitting the pain meds reminds me of the good ol’ Six Feet Under days when he was cracked-out, melting-down Billy. Ah, the memories.

So, how about a few quotes?

“You don’t have to water. It’s already watering.”

“It’s not food, it’s garbage.”

“Impromptu assembly, poignant video presentation, soulful soundtrack – maybe something early Sarah McLachlan, stretchy colorful awareness bracelets… I love it!”

“We should send them ClearSonic brushes for their skin. They are really good for your complexion.” “Mr. Wolf?” “She’s not wrong, they are really good for your complexion.”

“I have run over 100 charities in my time. Airbeds for the homeless. Airbeds for the elderly. My brother sells airbeds.”

“This is Gladys. She’s a homeless man that used to live on my street.”

“Let me take this one: Basically, you just tuck everything in.”

“Oh gee. I’m really sorry about that. Who is going to cube your pineapple for you?” “Um, I’m allergic to pineapple. If you were a real friend, you would know that.”

“A snowcone machine? I thought you had to have a license to operate these.”

So it was a little light on the one-liners, but what did you think overall? Is it losing its luster for you? How about George and Noah in the shower? I know you ladies enjoyed that. Let me know in the comments.

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  • Patty Housel

    I am a bathroom whore.  I will admit it.  I used to live in an apartment with giant shower and a rainwater shower head and I miss it.  Like my first born.  If I had a first born with I don’t.

    But I agree with you.  If I had that bathroom, it would be my life. there would be a TV in there (which there probably was, we just didn’t see it) and WiFi and I wold never leave.

    I still like this show but again, i am in agreement with you on the seemingly lack of focus.  Maybe they have no idea what they are doing or where they are going.  I hear the hot neighbor boy will be putting in some more time soon. So yeah!

    Also? $2,600 for a crown is rape.  Was it gold?  Because even with shitty insurance that didn’t pay anything, mine was only $900.  It wasn’t in the front though. Maybe it was a magic tooth.

    And yes, I enjoyed the shower scenes.  Mainly because of the one undercarriage shot. Everyone knows boys don’t really wash down there ever so I was a little confused that someone (it must have been a woman ok, or a gay guy) thought of it.

  • ahow628

    I’m super excited that the neighbor dufus will be back. That guy is pure gold.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, I’m kind of with you.  I enjoy watching this show, but as soon as it’s over, I just sort of forget all about it.  I do always laugh at Dalia though–what a weirdo.  

    I will say that I AM finally starting to be able to see Jeremy Sisto as someone other than Elton/wifebeater from Waitress.  So that’s positive.  I miss Sheila, though.

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