Hart of Dixie. Heat Wa…NOT NOW DEDE!!!

October 18, 2011 in off-color commentary by Melissa | 38 comments

Even George got in on the shirtless fun!

My apologies for the tardiness of today’s recap but I seem to have lost my pants somewhere in Bluebell. I’m sure you all understand that problem. I really, really loved this episode (and not just because it gave my porny rainboots a chance to shine) though if you really think about it, pretty much nothing happened. That’s not a bad thing it’s just that sometimes, as a fan of shows like the Vampire Diaries and Sons of Anarchy, so much happens every episode that it’s easy to forget that slow moving can be enjoyable. I mean yes, a few things happened. We got a lot on the Lemon front (which I’ll go into), people get crazy during Bluebell heat waves, and Brick & Zoe seem to be…well actually they’re just Brick and Zoe.

If you missed the episode and are catching up here, the rundown is pretty quick. There was a heat wave in Bluebell and people get all kinds of hot and bothered during them. And the obvious/not-so-obvious lesson is that usually the crazy has elements of truth to it but the heat gives you an excuse to act/admit stuff you normally wouldn’t. Anyway, because there wasn’t a big town event or what have you, I think this recap is going to cover a few of the relationships on the show and what we saw tonight. (I can do that, it’s my recap.)

Let’s start with George. Meeting his parents certainly made it easier to understand why he’s so laid back. It’s not a pushover thing, he’s just not wasting his time on stuff he can’t change. I didn’t mind George this episode either. Here’s the thing though. I still don’t understand why George & Lemon are together. I’m hoping it’s one of those situations where just because they aren’t hot & heavy doesn’t mean there isn’t love. There’s a fucking awesome quote from “Instant Star” (the first two seasons are on Netflix & you should watch just for Alexz Johnson’s voice alone) and the quote says “No matter what you expect from a couple, you never know what they’re like when they’re alone together. And the only two people qualified to say whether those two people even belong together, is those two people.” So George & Lemon get the benefit of the doubt but I would still like to see a little more.

Onto Lemon. I was seriously getting all kinds of teary-eyed from Lemon this week. I felt like the show as a whole did a much better job of hinting at why Lemon is so obsessed with being perfect. There’s obviously this sense of abandonment from her mother and I got the distinct impression that Lemon feels like she wasn’t enough for her mom to stay. And so she overcompensates and when you throw in people like George’s parents it just gets worse. (I can’t blame the dads for talking football though. I would.) I have to admit, I’m totally on the Lemon/Lavon train more than Lemon/George. It feels like Lemon’s love for George is real and good and all that but that her love for Lavon came from a place of passion and vulnerability that she didn’t know she was capable of.

Finally, Zoe & Wade. I just want them to be like Sarah and Chuck and be together and happy forever and ever. But this is the CW, so I know to bring my dreams well in check before they are dashed miserably on to the ground. I really only have two comments on these two. First, I loved that even though most of the episode was teasing, that at the end, Wade still showed a hint of how much he likes Zoe by telling her she could still come inside. And I was a big fan of Bilson’s subtlety in her response. Saying “I’m not that kind of girl” could come across as judgmental of the company Wade usually keeps. Instead it seemed to hint that a part of her did want to go inside but that part wanted more than a one night stand. Anyway, it just seemed like a very nice acting moment on both parties. I’m sure they’ll be back to the usual banter for a few more episodes but with less bite behind it. But where she found the self-restraint, I will never know.

Medical Front: I think this just needs a section from here on out so we can highlight the good or bad of the medical cases. Carbon monoxide poisoning. My first concern is that if she’s driving from Bluebell to Mobile every day, and we know even the bus didn’t come all the way into Mobile, shouldn’t Poppy or whatever her name was be dead within one trip? Or are we assuming that she kept the windows down and the exhaust was minimal but over time had built up enough to be smelled by Brick & Zoe? However, putting death aside, according to Google, Poppy’s symptoms fit. Therefore we can deduce that the writers of Hart of Dixie are superior to the writers of Glee. I won’t hand out awards because that shouldn’t be hard to do.

Battle of the Boys:

I really wanted to give this to George tonight. Okay I didn’t because fuck George, Wade is like sex on a fucking stick and he was not only shirtless through most of the episode, he was shirtless and wet and I am an extremely shallow person. But I feel like I always pick Wade so I was trying to find a way to justify giving the award to George. So for your viewing pleasure, I included a picture of George at the top and a video of Wade at the bottom of the recap. Also, I created an actual award. It’s the “Porny Rainboot Award” so that you can splash around in a puddle of superficiality while staring at the winner.

Random Things I Loved:

I still think Shelly (or Shelby?) is totally awesome and I want her around forever. She also did shots at work which endears her to my heart. When I worked at Olive Garden, we used to be stuck on like 14 hour shifts on Friday & Saturday because that shithole is always packed with people so the whole quiet hours of a restaurant doesn’t exist. (So many grammatical errors today!) Anyway, my little group of servers would head over to Red Robin on our like 20 minute break, down like 4 shots of tequila and a burger then go back for our shift. And then the bar would make us kiddie cups full of kamikaze shots and we’d sip those all night. So if you were ever at the Boise OG in 2004-2006 & thought “my server is drunk”…we were.

That thing Rachel Bilson did when she was like “my contact are melting on my eyeballs” was hysterical.

So Poppy hitting Zoe outside of the Rammer Jammer was totally bizarre but in that what the random fuck is going on here kind of way .

And the little girl who super-glued her floatie to her stomach was the most adorable thing ever.

Oh and the Zoe mirror scene! I know there were people bashing on it but Rachel is just so hilarious to me. Plus I’m choosing to believe that the gold cuffs and arm movement was a reference to her Wonder Woman outfit on The OC.

That should cover it. As usual, I expect loads of comments. I’m curious, did the brief Porter back porn bring him up a couple levels of hotness for you? And how is everyone feeling about Lemon?

Oh and below, instead of a preview, this is Wilson Bethel’s PSA for Global Warming. Enjoy!

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Tags: By Melissa, Hart of Dixie

Anonymous

Okay, I’m still in the middle of reading but.. AN INSTANT STAR SHOUT OUT?! WHO ARE YOU? Ugh yes.

Okay, back to reading. But first, here’s a link to some gifs you need to obsess over, courtesy of the second best website ever, Tumblr.
http://sundaystorms.tumblr.com/post/11616647687

(Yes, we’re working up to the pond scene. Brace yourselves and grab a change of underwear. You’re gonna need it!)
http://salvatoreboardinghouse.wordpress.com/ cinjudes

The thing that *I* learned about George in this episode: He hates his parents because they are Auburn fans. He moved to Bama country, got him a Roll Tide girl with a future father-in-law that bleeds crimson because he couldn’t stand to be constantly reminded that he came from *gulp* AUBURN fans. And what dreadful people they both were too. Bless his heart. I think George is up for sainthood. He must be. Coming from that and putting up with the people he does. Maybe he’s down on earth trying to get his wings? *shrug* Doesn’t matter, he’s a Tide fan.

The Wade/Zoe bits are going to slowly kill us. This was like the show looking us in the eye & saying “Oh, you want it? Well guess what bitches, you’re gonna have to fucking WORK!” Slow burn ahead, but what a great burn it is. I am totally on this train for the long haul.

I have to admit, the Lemon/Lavon got to me, and I am warming to Lemon – way more than I thought I would be.

And lastly, you waited tables drunk?!? ROFL! I knew I loved you Melissa, but now, you have like earned ALL THE POINTS. Even if you usually hate my favorite characters ever, but whateva.
http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

Brilliant recap and I must say, I have been waiting for this all day!

Let’s talk George. I am a huge fan of Jason Street, I mean Scott Porter and liked seeing him semi naked. But there was something wrong with the boxers. Maybe he needs to wear boxer briefs? I know, I am picky.

Lavon was pretty delish. Here’s what’s crazy. I hated him on FNL but I love Lavon. I love that he talks about himself in the third person and I really love that he obviously has a thing for Lemon. Lord knows why but he does. I am super curious about this story. I think they are playing it to look like it’s going to be a race thing but I bet you a big ole donut it’s something stupid that only Lemon cares about.

Speaking of, oh Lemon and all her yellow clothes. I really did feel sorry for her. George’s parents, well his mom, were really mean to her. Those kind of women can never be happy and it’s not you Lemon.

Wade grows on me like a fungus more and more every week. And I am going to put it out there that he was skimming trash off the pond and not just leaves like a weirdo. Hopefully, it will be summer in Bluebell for the whole season and he can be almost naked every episode.

I love Rachel Bilson. She is just so pretty.

I am going to be watching this again tonight I loved it so much. I too laughed about the contacts melting on her eyeballs. I don’t care that people are comparing Zoe to Summer. She will always be associated with Summer and that’s not a bad thing. Summer was a great character and I think alot of that is Bilson.
Anonymous

Besides the characters (writers) blatant disregard for any real heat wave protocols, like, don’t use the fucking gas stove and close the blinds from the scorching sun light or don’t wear inappropriate tight sweaty clothes to a doctor’s office, (Okay, so the last one is relevant for EVERY DAY Doctor Hart! Jeez.) and the atrocious family dinner scene, which I fast forwarded through, this episode was great.

Did I really just try and pawn that off as one sentence? Yes. Get over it. Here’s a bunch of short ones. Feel better?

I know what you’re really doing reading my comment. So here you go my pervy friends: http://thundercalls.tumblr.com/post/11622459736

Yes, Wilson Bethel should never put on clothes again. And I would volunteer my oh so precious time (it’s not really) to spray him down with water till the end of days. Can he always wear his hair slicked back like that? You look sexy with your hair pushed back. (If you don’t get that reference, I feel sad for you.)

But, wait, hold the mother fucking phone. How can we discuss hot sweaty shirtlessness and not mention Levon? DUDE. I approve of your sexy tattoedness wholeheartedly. Yep. The whole adorable bromantic morning handshake stuff between Wade and Levon while half naked and sweaty was AMAZEBALLS.

I call BULLSHIT at the end when Zoe was all – I’m not that kind of girl. PLEASE show me what kind of girl wouldn’t want to hit that?! In the damn rain, no less. I’m still not over this. I don’t care if it wouldn’t have been in character for her to let her guard down and let Wade in. I wanted to fucking see it.

Something else I’m not over, this. http://prodigal-rhapsody.tumblr.com/post/11612708353/hart-of-dixie-1×04 Oh that one looks a lot like the other set of gifs? I DON’T CARE.

I am so worked up right now. I make no apologies. I <3 you all.
http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

Holy Crap!
http://twitter.com/hollye83 Holly

I really liked this episode, even if nothing that much happened. There is totally room in my tv schedule for a show that just entertains me with pretty people in funny situations.

There was a new receptionist at the doctors’ office in this ep that I liked. Her conversations with Zoe made me laugh, especially when she made the joke about hiding candy for the kids in the condom jar.
http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

OH! I can’t believe I forgot to mention the end! The fake rain people! While I appreciate that Wade was soaked, I do not understand how everyone else in the rain was magic and only had a sprinkle of rain on their clothes and their hair was not fucked. I need to review Lavon in the rain but come on, he doesn’t have hair so rain should have been dripping down his face.
http://twitter.com/onlymystory Melissa Leaman

Instant Star makes me epic-ly happy.
http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

And thanks for the additional Wade porn @hockeybychoice:twitter
Anonymous

It was so bad and so great and I just wanted Jude and Tommy to live happily ever after. I still listen to the songs. I MIGHT have an Instant Star playlist….
http://twitter.com/onlymystory Melissa Leaman

I will give you this, if I’m ever in the room with Auburn fans, I tend to randomly and loudly throw around #RollTides. Most because they won’t give a shit if I talk about Boise State but throw a Bama reference out there and…well that’s just fun.

Oh my word such a slow burn! AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!

Seriously, you can’t wait tables sober at Olive Garden. It’s like against the laws of serving.
http://twitter.com/onlymystory Melissa Leaman

Ha! I totally responded above before this post showed up and tweaked my own Mean Girls reference!

I am a horrible person to forget Lavon so let’s just remedy that. First the man has tats on his pecs which is SOOOO fucking hot. Second he is making breakfast. A half-naked man with sexy tattoos but can pull off a suit and is a former football player. Hello dreams and welcome to reality. Lemon should have kissed him.

Also, dear Zoe: the best breakfasts are always clothing optional.
Anonymous

Oh you are so welcome.

Now that I’ve calmed down, can we discuss that man’s shoulders?? Yes. http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt97gfUy4a1qh6u6yo1_500.gif If you’ve known me for any length of time, you know that I’m all about the shoulders. And the chest. And.. yep. This is in no way shocking. Wilson has some damn near perfect shoulders, but I’d need some shots of him from behind to really be comfortable backing up that bold statement.

I’m counting on you, CW, to give me what I want.
http://twitter.com/onlymystory Melissa Leaman

I haven’t been able to find a back shot but I did find a decent shoulder shot.
http://twitter.com/MollytheGhost Molly Kasperek

I’m officially changing my FMK choices. Marry Wade (and fuck him in the rain. Obviously.) Fuck Lavon (despite the whole Lemon-mess) and Kill George. (Sorry George, but I just can’t involve myself with anyone affiliated with Auburn!)

This episode was great. It would have been perfect if we could have disregarded the whole carbon-monoxide plot, but whatevs. I guess the CW was pretty keen on having a premise for the show aside from “Well, uh, basically Rachel Bilson will wander around Alabama and just have random conversations/relationships with half-naked guys.” I mean, I would still watch that version of the show, but beggers can’t be choosers.

But, how in the world did this show, a CW show no less, end up with more NFL references than last weeks episode of the League? I mean, what even is that? Not that I’m complaining, because ROLL TIDE.

And guys, as much as I hate Lemon, they did a good job of fleshing out her character. But I just feel bad for George. I mean, not only did he have to endure a childhood in a house full of Auburn fans, but Lemon’s totes going to end up with Lavon. I kind of want to hate the show for wanting Lemon to actually end up with someone, but she and Lavon kind of make sense.

Last but most certainly not least, did anyone else compare Wade to Colin Firth when he was in Zoe’s pond hallucination? Because the whole in the pond, wet white t-shirt, slowly stripping thing was kind of the exact same. So Zoe’s probably a Pride and Prejudice fan. Makes me like her even more. Also, thank you, Show, for shirtless Wade. Thank you, thank you, thank you. He’s just so pretty and wonderful and awesome.

Oh, and Shelby is my favorite minor character as of now. Everything about her. Especially the fact that she was hungover circa 6pm on a weekday. You go girl!
http://twitter.com/KimberGracie Kimber

I think Rachel is pretty too!! I love that she’s just like a petite little doll with big, round eyeballs. Gorgeous.

Also, I guess I’m lucky that I’ve never seen an episode of The OC, since I have no idea who Summer is, and I can’t compare!
http://twitter.com/KimberGracie Kimber

HOLY FUCK YES! The rain scene was awful. Reminded me of “The Boat Scene” from Ringer. I shudder at that thought. How were both Lemon and Lavon perfectly poised and dry, yet Zoe and George got soaked? Yeah, that was CGI for you.
http://twitter.com/KimberGracie Kimber

I HEART YOU! And I’M USING AN AWFUL LOT OF CAPS ON HERE! But seeing those gifs (ha, I just wrote “gifts” … slip of the lip, they really are gifts!) is a total WOW. I love that we can always count on you to track them down. You’re like a lovely little gif fairy.
Anonymous

Um yep. I enjoy this. A lot.
http://sundaystorms.tumblr.com/post/11627967423

(I am not apologizing for posting yet another link to tumblr because this show is made to gif and the half naked sweaty men deserve moving pictures.)
http://twitter.com/KimberGracie Kimber

OMG I am late to this porny party, and I hate myself for it! I checked the site early this afternoon, but then got caught up in a work meeting and my long commute home. Guess that’s where y’all snuck in!

This episode … was pretty damn awesome. And no, I’m not just saying that due to the seriously porny shots of shirtless dudes (ok, yes I am just a little). I also think I am 99% a Wade Girl now. A tiny piece of my heart still wants George to man up and make me love him, but so far it’s just not working.

Everyone else has already pointed out the (only) 2 major flaws with this show – which is bad/not believable medical information, and also no common sense. I don’t live in the South of the USA, but up here in Canada we get pretty hot days too. And anyone who has even a lick of sense knows when there’s a heat wave you keep your curtains closed, and don’t use your damn stove! C’mon. But … without the stove we wouldn’t have had the hot half-naked breakfast, so I’m willing to overlook that minor detail.

I really enjoy the addition of the Porny Rainboot Award, and I can see why Wade gets it this week (and should probably continue getting it throughout the run of the series). He just warrants that kind of attention. Also? That PSA for global warming? WOW. Just … WOW.
http://twitter.com/onlymystory Melissa Leaman

Nothing is as bad as that boat scene from Ringer.
Anonymous

Sooo how could I forget this scene?!
http://faeryinwonderland.tumblr.com/post/11619214869/whats-the-one-thing-you-wanted-to-do-since-you
You can clearly see his shoulders there. And I will now stand firmly in my opinion that he has perfect shoulders.

HNGG!
Lemonade

Man, does Hart of Dixie understand its audience or what?!

First of all, thank you Melissa for such a great recap, and I absolutely love that Porny Rainboot. :) Also I find the idea of Olive Garden servers sneaking over to Red Robin to eat and drink kind of hilarious. Gotta love chain restaurants.

I pretty much agree with everyone else on everything, so don’t have too much to add. Definitely found myself sympathizing and even liking Lemon in this episode, and thought Jaime King looked super pretty in that yellow (of course) dress she was wore to dinner. Ultimately though, the one I felt the most badly for was Didi. The poor girl was sooo excited to be going on the date (she was literally squealing in that scene with George!), and yet we all saw what happened. I hope this isn’t the last we see of her though, because I like her.

And the inner-tube girl was probably my favorite moment of the whole episode. Perfect line delivery. She truly was adorable.

Oh and kind of random, but just so happened to catch a second of KTLA news yesterday morning and they were interviewing Scott Porter. They had him sing a few of Aladdin’s lines from “A Whole New World!” I missed the rest of the interview, but it sounded like he used to work for Disney or something.
http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

She is My Little Pony precious!
http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

Melissa? Have you tweeted Wilson a picture of his Prony Rainboot award yet?
http://twitter.com/onlymystory Melissa Leaman

He did! For Disney/Universal Studios as part of an acapella group. In related news: I found this for y’all.

Also this but my apologies for the abundance of Aly Michalka
Randi

Go, now, and watch The OC. Watch it for Seth Cohen and Summer Roberts. Oh, I love The OC soooo much. I didn’t catch it until after it’s run and then I was so sad I missed it and that my one, paltry, non-Nielsen household couldn’t rescue it from cancellation. I think Seth Cohen is my dream man.
http://twitter.com/onlymystory Melissa Leaman

I did now. :)
http://twitter.com/KimberGracie Kimber

Ok, I’ll add it to my list of “things to see”. I think my brother has most of the seasons, I’ll see if he’ll lend them to me.
Nicole

Yes, Seth Cohen is Pacey II: The Sequeling. He is worth your time and worth putting up with Mischa Barton. Also, Julie Cooper is a riot, Summer Roberts is adorable, Chris Pratt plays a dirty hippie and Autum Reaser is amazing in the second half of the run…basically there are just a lot of really good reasons to watch, and push through the less great stuff (Barton, Barton’s character, and anything related to Barton and/or her character).
stephanie snider

holy shit!! you are freaking awesome!!! pair of panites indeed!!! Wade is effing hot!! i love Hart of dixie i love th quirkiness of wade and zoe!! ohh what wouldnt give to be rachel bilson! In the words of offcolortv … i am superficial as fu*k!! and Fuc* the salvatore boys!!!
http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

I have to laugh that you didn’t type FUCK. You know, cause we are all about the swearing.
Anonymous

As the header says, “Come for the cussin’, stay for the discussion!”

Feel free to swear to your hearts content. This ain’t your mother’s tv talkin website!
stephanie snider

def!! my bad!! i know i am just so used to not cussing !!!! i do love this website!!!
http://twitter.com/mjw_o Megs

this episode wouldn’t have held my attention at all if it weren’t for the shirtlessness of the hot men… I am starting to not like this show for any other reason than eye candy
Em

I enjoy this show because it is entertaining. I’m glad that it’s not drama filled or some huge mystery. It’s a fun hour.

I’m glad that we got to see some of the heat between Lemon and George. What did she mean that she’s sorry that she wants so much. I’m still eager to hear for sure why they are no longer together. It doesn’t seem like it’s just a race thing. It was nice to feel sorry for Lemon and to see her at her very highest of high-strung moments.
http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

I think you mean Lemon’s heat with Lavon.
http://twitter.com/phouse1964 Patty Housel

Like there is anything wrong with eye candy. The only other show that comes close to this much yumminess is TVD (IMO)

Hart of Dixie. Heat Wa…NOT NOW DEDE!!!

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