Grouch Potato: Always Sunny Edition

What in product placement hell was this botched abortion of an episode?

You know, I would rather stick my head in an oven filled with baking cat turds than watch a half hour commercial for Dave & Busters under the guise of actual television.  I am so pissed off at Always Sunny that it makes me mad all over again just thinking about it.  Everyone involved in this trainwreck should be ashamed of themselves.

You know, I have given Always Sunny a lot of leeway because the first couple seasons were so hilarious, and I even forgave the travesty of this past season, ESPECIALLY the Liberty Bell episode, because at least there was Who Pooped the Bed? and The Day Man Opera, and I let its series recording stand on my DVR.

But now, we are on thin ice.  Liberty Bell was strike one.  This piece of shit is strike two, and it’s almost grounds for immediate expulsion from the league, frankly.  But I am a kind and benevolent DVR ruler, and I will give this show until strike three and then I am fucking finished.

Do you know what the worst part is, though?  It’s that I feel betrayed.  BETRAYED!  This isn’t like when Smallville brought Product Placement Pete back for an episode revolving entirely around Stride gum.  No, this is much, much worse, because I expect a certain level of suck from Smallville (no offense, Smallville–I love you and catch up on every season on DVD, but we both know it’s a little true). 

This is worse because I know how awesome this show can be.  It gave us Day Man.  And Green Man.  The McPoyles.  Rock, Flag and Eagle.  Dee and Dennis going on welfare and getting addicted to CRACK, for god’s sake!  So this is just so fucking offensive and INSULTING.  I sort of hate everyone involved with this show right now.

This is like, your best friend, who is really cool and funny, starts dating some douchebag who unironically wears an FBI: Female Body Inspector t-shirt.  This is like your boyfriend, who loves Led Zeppelin and has the same favorite Rolling Stones song as you suddenly forcing you to listen to “Butterfly Kisses” on repeat.  This is like all of a sudden you’re standing face to face with yourself, and this version of you has arrived from the future to tell your current self that you love nothing more than a good pair of mom jeans and reading Dan Brown novels.  It’s like … UGH.  How could you DO this to me?  You’re better than this!  I TRUSTED YOU!

I really don’t know about the future of my relationship with Always Sunny is at this point.  I’m still going to watch it, but so help me god if I EVER hear the words “Dave & Busters” out of any of their mouths again … 

And seriously, if you really need the money that badly to stay on the air, then just let the fucking show die an honorable death.  This episode was TRAGIC.  And if this shit keeps up, you are on a very serious path of doom of epic Jason Lee proportions, and I don’t mean awesome, hilarious Mallrats Jason Lee–I mean fucking Alvin & the Chipmunks Jason Lee, okay?  Pull yourselves together!

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  • seels

    I haven’t caught any of IASIP this season yet. I need to, but based on your review, i can see how annoyed i will be. And you are right; it’s one thing for ‘Hollywood’ shows to have branding and product placement, but not this show. this show prides itself on NOT being ‘hollywood’, and so, yes, it would hurt just that much more to find out that they’d given in. And i’ll have to watch for sure, but it doesn’t sound like it was the tongue in cheek giving in, like Arrested Development with Tobias and Carl Weathers at Burger King. then again, maybe you hated that too!

    love the phrase ‘grouch potato’, though…that should win a blogging award.

  • offcolortv

    LOL, Grouch Potato is all Billy! As he says, he “paints pictures with words”. SO true. I think I might have to make a grouch potato one of these days so I’ll have a little pic to put on those posts … how hilarious would that be? I’ll have to keep an eye out for ugly-ass potatoes.

    Yeah, it was totally unironic and uncomfortable. I went from cringey to pissed in no time at all. I’ve got another one on my DVR that I sort of want to watch, and am sort of afraid to watch. Yikes.

  • Mindy

    I have been watching this show since season 2 live (watched 1 on dvd) and I LOVE it. I HATED the Liberty Bell ep. And loved so many eps omg Dumpster Baby, Night Man Cometh, Welfare/Crack, $100 Baby, Jihad. That ep was dumb though with the Paddy bucks. BUT the one before that or after with Dee and the surrogate HILARIOUS. I find that sometimes the one that Fred Savage (ya of Wonder Years) does are stupid. But I have not done a whole study on this yet.

  • offcolortv

    Yeah, there have been a lot of really great episodes over the seasons, but it started getting more hit or miss especially last season, and the misses are more like epic fucking fails (effs!) lately. I’ll be curious to hear the Fred Savage study results, so let me know. Kevin Arnold, if you are responsible for all the bad episodes, I’ll never forgive you.

  • http://onlymystory.wordpress.com/ Melissa

    I sort of decided to fuck with the comment stream and comment on random old posts so I just entered a page number in and this came up first. But I promise, they’re all going to be useful comments too! Well not useful, because I don’t fucking do that but they’ll be relevant to the post.

    Like this one, where I want to say I hate the fact that I just got that damn Butterfly Kisses song stuck in my head. And to help any of you who might read this because you’re all attention whores who check the stream:
    Butterfly kisses, after bedtime prayers. Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.”

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