Before we get started, just wanted everyone to know, if you haven’t participated, it is Marry, Fuck, Kill week at OCTV. Each day (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday), we are picking characters from shows that we cover and determining which role they fit best. I also wrote up a brief history of MFK, in case you wanted some background on the game. Don’t expect to learn too much, but I guarantee you’ll laugh your ass off.

George is feeling a little territorial as Sheila tries to usurp his roll as provider for Tessa. Getting even means George is going to step into Sheila’s big thing: PTA. Sheila tries to run George out of the PTA, however, her plan backfires and George becomes the male advice guru for the Chatswin moms. Sheila is on the outs and George is the backbone of the PTA. Unfortunately this leads to less attention to his daughter than before. In a smart move, he tosses the reins back to Sheila. George was going off the deep end, with the Garage-a-palooza being the last straw for me. Only a total nutjob would get pumped for Garage-a-palooza.

For her elective, Tessa has elected to read in the handicapped stall of the girls’ room. That idea gets shot down and she has to pick between day trading, flat ironing, and drama (aka the KKK – Kimantha, Kaitlynn, Kenzie). A better option is the unread school paper, The Chatswin Chronicle. Her new elective mate, Malik had tirelessly dedicated all his time to the paper – except when he is at the his Medium re-enactment club.

OMG! Is that Patricia Arquette?

To turn things up a notch at the paper, Tessa and Malik bring in a consultant. While she isn’t the brightest (Chronicle is a word, Chatterer is not), Dalia has her finger on the faint pulse of the school. The Chronicle shifts to becoming a tabloid outing secrets about everyone from fat knees to thumb suckers. Turns out Tessa doesn’t feel bad about trashing fat knees, but does feel bad that the thumb sucker is Lisa. Meanwhile, Malik is on a power trip and only Tessa’s guilt tripping and maybe a little Medium blackmail can rope him back in.

Most of the episode was pretty basic – good, but basic. However, we need to talk about the ending. George mentions that Princeton will be proud of Tessa’s involvement in the school paper and Tessa says she isn’t going to college. There is a tense moment where George kind of thinks she is joking, they both laugh nervously, but Tessa reiterates her stance that she isn’t going. Then the episode just ends. What the fuck? Where is this going?

Let me know what you think about the college thing since I’m completely confused where this is going. Share your thoughts in the comments. I need to know what is going on. In the meantime, I’ve got some kick ass quotes from the episode:

“Get involved, parents! Without the P we’re just T & A.”

“You, in the PTA? God no.” “Are you telling me I can not join the PTA?” “No, i’m telling you shall not join the PTA.” “I can’t?” “You shan’t.” “Oh but I shall. The thing is, I shall.” “My, this is getting downright Elizabethan.”

“Ladies, I would like to introduces our newest member and only member, with a member, George Altman.” “Well thank you, I promise not to hold my membership against you.”

“You are so obsessed with MILFs that you don’t even notice the ILFs.”

“Chronicle’s not even a world.” “Yes it is.” “Chronicle sounds like something on the side of a boat.” “Barnacles?”

“OMG. LMAO. IMHO. BRB. TMI. BTL. HHIS. STBY.”

“What’s she doing?” “Morning routine.”

“Your husband feels…” “Emasculated?” “Definitely.” “Marginalized?” “No question.” “Impotent?” “I’m not a doctor.”

“I just got a tip on story from Dalia and it is ba-nay-nay. No? I could try ba-nizz-nazz.”

“Some people care about the Chatswin Chronicle. They started a petition to get it back. There are only two signitures so far – they’re both mine.”

“Don’t you think it’s time you hung up the mom jeans and went back to being a dad?” “These aren’t mom jeans. I got them at the garage sale.” “Yeah, but whose garage sale, George?” “Rhonda’s! I got them at Rhonda’s garage s… I’m wearing Rhonda’s jeans.”

“George, you wear the hell out of those jeans.”

Comments people!