We had a ton of fun with our first MFK post yesterday in which we had a very mature, high-minded discussion with respect to the various characters on Monday night tv and the types of things we might like to do with and/or to them (click here if you missed it!). Today, we continue the fun with Tuesday shows, and there are a few, so let’s get to it (as usual, my comments are in purple while SB’s are in blue):
Well, the ‘F’ part of this one is easy – his nickname even rhymes with fuck – Noah Puckerman and his weird mohawk any day of the week. As for marriage, well, that’s when things get more difficult because almost everyone on this show is either terrible or gay. If I was cool with a sexless marriage, I’d go for Blaine (though his incessant cheeriness might eventually prove problematic), but since I’m not, I’m going to go out on a limb and pick Burt Hummell. Yes, Kurt’s dad. He’s cute, he’s a sweetie pie, he’s a business owner and it would make me Kurt’s (young, ahem) stepmom which I think would be fun. As for kill, I’m going to assume we can’t choose producers, head writers or creators of the show, so I’ll pick Schue. It was a tossup between him and Sue, but honestly I’d get way more joy seeing that curly mop of hair disappear into a lake than I would with Sue, so Will it is.
Oh my GOD, Puck. What an easy pick. He’s the badboy of my fucking (literally) dreams. But you know what? This is such a big cast that I feel the need to make both girl and boy picks. So boys first: Fuck Puck, marry Blaine (I’m good with his cheeriness and a sexless marriage as long as he never stops dancing … EVER–it’ll all be very Once More With Feeling), and kill Shue. DEFINITELY. Girls? Fuck Santana (I KNOW Andy is gonna be on board), marry … oh man. I’m gonna catch some shit for this one, but marry Holly Holiday. I’m not kidding, you guys. I know she’s Gwyneth, but she’s so funny and adventurous and I sort of love her. And even though she’s Gwyneth, she’s not Gwyneth. Not to get too existential on you. And without any doubt in anyone’s mind, kill Rachel. In a VERY bloody and brutal and prolonged way.
We haven’t had a lot of time with these characters yet, especially Winston, but at this point it’s easy, right? If you’re into dudes, you’re marrying Nick, hands down. Ever since he moved into a photo booth and then beat the shit out of a cardboard cutout over the tackiness of a cash bar, I’ve been in love. I’d make a sweet night of magic with Schmidt though because he’s hot and he’s vulnerable and he’s kind of a dick – perfect one night stand material. As for kill, I don’t want to kill anyone on the show, but I guess I’ll go with that bitch Caroline for breaking Nick’s heart so badly but wanting to keep him as a backup anyway. Die, Caroline.
Wow, you perfectly summed up why Schmidt is the perfect fuck choice. Nick as the marry isn’t even a discussion, and kill … uugghghhh alright, Jess. I can’t handle hillbilly teeth and hipster glasses, even though she does crack me up … grudgingly.
Okay, confession – my comment will be brief because I’ve only seen the pilot and Revenge just seemed like such a better version of this kind of show that I sort of stopped at that point. BUT, I can say without question that I would marry the shit out of whoever Kris Polaha is playing because I love him.
Yeah, I didn’t watch it either, but I already made David swear to weigh in on this so we’d have SOME sort of educated opinion here. Unlike Nicole, I would FUCK the shit out of Kris Polaha and any character he portrays, marry SMG (not the bitchy one), and kill whoever told her that doing this stupid show was a good idea.
To make up for my lack of Ringer insight, I thought I’d cover P-hood instead because there are a lot of candidates for each category here. I went back and forth on who I’d fuck, because Adam, Crosby AND Mark Cyr are all delicious in their own way. But Adam’s wound a little too tight, and Mark is too easy to fall in love with plus he has that weakstache, so Imma hafta pick Crosby. He knows how to do temporary right. I’d kill Jasmine for being such a buzzkill – I know, she has a right to be pissed but at this point when she’s onscreen I feel like I’M getting lectured. Marriage is no question – Joel hasn’t had a ton to do, but from what we’ve seen I know he’s hot, he’s good with his hands, and he’s got a dark, funny streak. Sold.
I quit watching this show around halfway through S2 because it just kept piling up on my DVR and I LIKED it, but apparently not enough. I still cite too much reality as the reason–it reminded me a lot of my family. My marriage choice is Mark Cyr (DREAMY), my fuck choice … totally Joel. He’s vaguely ginger, and I’m INTO that. Plus, handy … you know what I’m sayin’! (Also you know because Nicole basically said it first.) And kill? SO tough, because Max annoys the fucking shit out of me, and Haddie is such a whiny bitch, but ultimately, I have to give it to Camille because she is just the WORST.
Yesterday was super fun because you guys were so awesome and played along, so keep the trend going and hit the comments with your picks. Make sure you come back tomorrow for MFK: Wednesday Edition (Happy Endings and Revenge, you guys!).