Ohhh, you guys.  When Klaus said “bottoms up” to Stefan, I swear to God, I could actually FEEL fandom explode.  It was like a whole fucking disturbance-in-the-force thing.  If the internet was a person, I’m like, 99% sure it would be dead of HoYay! right now.

Let’s switch it up this week and start with the hybrids.  And can I also just tell you that until the internet (RIP) told me last week that the werewolf was Simon Camden, I had no idea.  He looks so different, and did such a good job!  You guys … 7th Heaven HAD to be one of the worst shows ever.  It was so preachy and obnoxious, and there is a whole houseload of assholes from that show that I wouldn’t mind seeing bleed from the eyeballs.  The only exception is the dog.  The dog was cute.  But you know, I’m pretty sure that 7th Heaven was the show that got me completely and utterly addicted to Television Without Pity, possibly even back when it was still Mighty Big TV, because they were just RUTHLESS with it.  So I would say that TWoP was definitely my earliest TV blog influence, and so I guess we indirectly owe 7th Heaven a thank you.  But let’s not let the point get lost here.  Bottom line, those screechy bitches would all be prime candidates for an Elijah massacre when he comes back, and I’ve got IDEAS, y’all.

"This is still better than watching 7th Heaven."

Remember how this post was going to be about the Vampire Diaries, and then we got all distracted and started talking about 7th Heaven for hours instead?  Haha, good times, good times.

Alright, so back to the bleeding out the eyeballs.  Very cool, and gross.  And I like how it became very clear, very quickly that things were not going well, but I didn’t know why.  I was just like, oh, I guess you can’t do that, which just sort of reinforced my belief in the whole Tyler/Caroline knocked up theory.  I had the thought last week but I didn’t want to mention it, but now that I’ve seen it bandied about on the internet, I feel like it’s fair to mention.  I mean, surely the show has to have at least CONSIDERED that, right?  And I was so busy thinking about that that I was totally blindsided by the idea that maybe everything isn’t going right because Elena’s not dead.  Um … MAJOR.  And here is WHY I consider it major.  I think something really subtle happened, and you all can just go back and check up on this later to see if I’m right, but here’s my theory:

I feel like there was a VERY slight pause and a VERY subtle change in Klaus after he said that he killed the doppelganger, almost like a realization.  And when he turned and looked at Stefan, even though he didn’t say it really, I think he knew he was right.  It reminded me a lot of how he seemed to suspect that Katherine was on vervain before he actually indicated that he knew, but he used the knowledge (or at least the suspicion) to simultaneously test her and torture her, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Stefan have to go through some of that.

And you guys, I think here is the point where I am fully, one hundred percent on board and convinced that Joseph Morgan was the right guy for the job.  Last season, I didn’t even think much about him (although I liked him from Hex and thought he was a talented enough actor) because I was focused more on whether or not the character of Klaus was working.  By the end of the season, and especially in the finale, when he was really enjoying forcing human blood on Stefan, I was sold on Klaus being an unexpectedly scary (yet charming) sociopath.  Now that I buy that, I can think about how Joseph Morgan has really been subtle with Klaus, which I think is important, and distinctive.

I mean, look at the way everyone else plays their vampires.  Paul Wesley makes Stefan intense and broody, but he also brings a serious kindness and compassion to him.  Ian Somerhalder had made Damon a passionate hothead, and Daniel Gilles has turned Elijah into an EXTREMELY badass and yet totally bored vampire.  Paul Wesley acts a lot with his mouth, Ian Somerhalder is clearly our eyebrow guy, and Daniel Gilles uses his body to move slowly, gracefully, and purposefully, while seeming calculated yet detached.  With Joseph Morgan, he’s definitely a face actor.  I feel like a lot of the times when he’s playing the arrogance of Klaus, he’ll smirk, or tilt his head a certain way, and it’s all like … RIGHT THERE on the edge of being too much, but it’s not quite.  Okay?  Still with me?  But then he does this THING, and it’s like … PERFECT.  It’s like when he realizes something, or he’s really being intentional about execution … you know, basically when shit gets real for Klaus, Joseph Morgan’s entire face goes COLD, and it’s just so … STRIKING.  Because it’s like an acting equivalent of negative space or something.  And I feel like when you put together those acting choices, you get a really intense picture of Klaus.  When he drops the charming, cocky facade, he is really fucking horrifying, and I think the combination gives the effect of goddamn SOCIOPATH.  It’s really remarkable, you guys.  I just … I can’t get over how bitchin’ this guy is.

Also, is it too late to say that I really don’t know shit about acting?  I’ve never acted in anything and I’m even a terrible liar, so I literally have ZERO skills in this department.  I’m pretty much talking out of my ass, but hey–it’s what I think.

Anyway, it was a little crazy to see Klaus go insane for a second because to this point, he’s been so in control and everything has been going his way.  I like that there’s a wrench in his plans now.  I still feel like he’ll find a way to figure out what he needs to do to meet his ultimate goals until he either gets there or dies trying, but it’s important to limit power in stories like this so that the balance isn’t SO far off.  And I was more okay with a Klaus outburst of emotion than I thought I’d be, but that’s mostly because it was frustration, which seems like a reasonable emotion for a sociopath.  I really don’t want or need a Klaus redemption story where he learns how to love and gets a hug from his dad or some shit, but yelling in the woods, that’s fine.

Okay, moving on (a little) from Klaus, this story ran (mostly) parallel to Elena tracking Stefan down with some help from Tyler (also, Tyler should get to interact with the main story more–I liked that).  She convinced Alcoholaric to roadtrip with her, and he shocked the entire viewing public by responsibly(!) insisting that she drive.

Also, these people bop on over to Tennessee with the casual ease of a trip to Target.  I mean … ?  Right?

Anyway, Alcoholaric made a SECOND good choice tonight (I KNOW, RIGHT?) and called Damon in for backup.  And Damon decided to protect Elena by … pushing her off a little cliff into some water, I guess?  Yeah, I don’t know either.  But I will forgive him of basically anything this episode because he trimmed the Uncle Jesse mullet and we’re all very proud of him for that.

I did love their talk in the water, though … not what was said so much as just the tone of it.  Last episode was all business and bickering, and this was a more like, ernest conversation about what they were doing and why.  It bookended nicely with the conversation at the end in Elena’s bedroom where Damon made Elena tell him why she backed off when she clearly has no regard for her own safety and Alaric had the magic ring on.  That’s something that I really like about Damon and Elena’s relationship in contrast with Elena and Stefan.  It’s not that one is better than the other, but it seems like it plays out in really realistic ways.  Stefan understands Elena and he’s so softhearted that he always knows what’s going on with her, and he wants to make her comfortable and happy.  But with Damon, he kind of knows what’s going on, but he pushes her to do and say difficult things that … I don’t know.  I don’t know if you can say that they NEED to be said, exactly, but … they’re honest.  And I feel like any time you can be really honest, with someone else, yeah, but also with yourself, you just become a more complete person.  Your decisions are more solid, and intentional, and even if Elena does have feelings for Damon (which I’m not sure she fully does YET, but she will), I think that whoever she chooses in the end, whether it’s Stefan, Damon, or herself, will be a better choice for having thoroughly considered all of her feelings on ALL of it, and leaving no lingering doubt and no what ifs.

The other thing that happened on this roadtrip was that Elena convinced Alaric to move back into their house.  I would say that having an adult/chaperone/teacher living at their house would cut down on Jeremy’s underage drinking, but we all know the score on that one.

Speaking of Jeremy and underage drinking!  (Man.  I am a master of the segue.  Bow down to me.)  Jeremy and Matt bromanced it up for most of their limited screen time, although it was pretty awkward since they kept talking about Jeremy seeing Vicki.  Jeremy looked up some John Edwards-type shit (no doubt on Bing, using Mi-Fi) and told Matt he would get a clearer connection if there was a family member and some personal items there.  You guys?  I’m just gonna put this out there, but … as far as things you read on the internet, you really shouldn’t believe most of it, and you really REALLY shouldn’t believe “facts” you read about talking to ghosts.  I mean, I would think that’s common sense, but I would also think that using Google is common sense, so I suppose there’s only so much we can ask of sweet, special Jeremy.  But maybe one of the things we should ask is that he wear a helmet … at all times.

But, I guess Jeremy and the internet showed me, because it worked and Vicki did show up.  Matt couldn’t see her (at which point, I’d be all “PROVE IT!”, but he’s more trusting than I am apparently), but Jeremy could and he asked what she needed help with, and she told him … WAIT FOR IT … that she could come BACK!  WTF!  That was such an amazing, gaspy moment for me, and then all the glass broke and suddenly, there was Anna, telling Jeremy not to trust Vicki!  WTF!  Oh my GOD, this story got so good in this episode!

And finally, we have the Tyler and Caroline follow up.  I liked that he seemed to know that something wasn’t quite right, even though I don’t think he was entirely shocked that she snuck out.  I mean, he does GET her, you know?  And I loved that he defended her to his mom and said she’s not a prostitute.  Pacey Points!

This episode had little bits of Tyler here and there, and the way he was used really worked for me.  I liked his talk with Matt at the Grill, how there was sort of an apology attempt there, but Matt wasn’t really having it, and how Matt sort of relented a little bit by dancing around offering to help Tyler wolf out.  You know what the best part of that was though?  How Tyler got all shitty and independent about it.  I feel like that’s more of the Tyler we knew early on, and I like that even though he’s clearly grown a lot as a person, that’s still a part of who he is and it’s what he defaults to when he’s hurt.  And the other good part was that I really do feel like, at some point, those two are going to be able to work through it and be friends again.

And you know, even though that fucking bitch SHOT MY CAROLINE, I liked Mrs. Lockwood more than I thought I would this time.  She took the news of WereTyler much better than Lizbian initially took VampCaroline, and she TRIED to get Caroline back.  But it was too late, because Horn-Rimmed Glasses (sans the horn-rimmed glasses, sadly) was already on it and as anyone who watched Heroes knows, he is a BADASS.  So yeah, am I surprised that he was unwilling to let Caroline go?  Not even kind of.  What was surprised that he was Caroline’s DAD?  Oh my god, you have no idea.  I was SHOCKED!  I haven’t given much thought to Caroline’s dad in awhile, but I really didn’t expect him to outbutch her mom!  That was an awesome twist and a great reveal.

Okay, I think I got it all or at least most of it, but if I forgot anything, just let me know in the comments.  And now I want to hear from you!  What did you guys think?  What were your favorite scenes?  Theories on where things are headed?  Anything else?  Lay it on me in the comments, and remember what I told you last week–comments (and retweets!) are blogger currency, so throw some change in my guitar case and I’ll promise not to actively mug you on the train.  Cool?  Cool.

*Super special thanks to Maddie for almost instantly providing the exact picture I requested on Twitter!  Seriously, what DID we do before the internet?