Last night’s episode of The Lying Game, inexplicably titled “Over Exposed,” was all about Homecoming. Which made me realize that this show has talked about the tennis and golf teams at length, but has never once mentioned Arroyo High School’s football team. But that’s not stopping them from having a Homecoming.

Since it’s Homecoming time, Kristen looks through old photo albums from her high school days at Arroyo, where she was Homecoming Queen. Of course she was. Emma becomes sort of obsessed with this photo album, and a couple pictures in particular: one of Ted and baby Sutton, and one of Ted, Adrian Pasdar, and a random woman, whom I can only assume is Annie Hobbs.

Now, I will be honest—while Emma was transfixed by this photo, I was thinking that perhaps the three of them (because I’ve decided this random lady is definitely, absolutely, without a doubt, Annie) had some sort of crazy, drunken three-some and BOTH Ted and Adrian Pasdar are the fathers. But then I realized that is BANANA-PANTS CRAZY. However, I will not rule this out as a possibility.

At the front of the episode, Adrian Pasdar surprises no one by doing something shady whilst wearing a suit: he calls a doctor at a hospital or clinic of some sort and tells her that he’s going to send over a picture of Sutton so that if she shows up to visit Annie Hobbs she should be barred from seeing her. (!!!) This is overheard by Eduardo the hot male ballet teacher who is HIDING behind pocket doors because he had come over to check on Mads for some reason. (For the record: Mads made him hide. He didn’t want to.) But, here’s the weird part—Eduardo came over IN THE MORNING. Who does that?!

All right, so back to Homecoming stuff!

Let’s start with Emma. She realizes that Sutton definitely would have run for Homecoming Queen, but she doesn’t really want to run. However, EVERYONE expects Sutton to run. It is said repeatedly throughout the episode that being Homecoming Queen is sort of the only thing Sutton has ever wanted. I now know that Sutton is one of those people who, if she were real, would peak in high school. I feel sort of sad for fictional her. So, after some prodding (read: force) by Mads and Char, Emma decides to run. No one is shocked.

BTW, Char turned into a CRAZY PR LADY in this episode. She had buttons and banners and posters and cupcakes and, like, scheduled events for Emma (as Sutton) to schmooze with each clique. It was a little frightening. And I can totally envision Char turning into this woman.

So, while all of this is going on, Emma apparently feels weird about running for Queen and wants Sutton’s blessing. But Emma can’t get a hold of Sutton because she is sitting in L.A., where the power has gone out due to a storm (in L.A.?!) directly after Thayer kissed her. By the time Sutton finally calls Emma, Emma is wearing Kristen’s old Homecoming Queen crown around her room, trying to figure out how to best do her hair so to accommodate a crown when she wins one.

Sutton flips shit. Emma tries to explain to Sutton that she tried not running, but no one bought it, and then says some very saccharine stuff about how she feels like Sutton has given her a gift by allowing her to masquerade as a girl who has everything, but Sutton shuts her down by saying, “It’s not a gift. It’s more like a hand-me-down.” BURN.

But Emma dusts her shoulders off and asks Ethan to go to the dance. He acts weird about it, saying that high school dances aren’t really his thing and that he’s Sutton’s SECRET boyfriend for a reason. Emma basically begs him to go, but he still declines. I’m not really sure why, but I feel that he gets a couple Pacey Points for this.

Later, he video chats with Sutton who is still just railing about Emma running for Homecoming Queen, and Ethan totally stands up for Emma and then asks Sutton what would happen if she were still in Phoenix or Scottsdale or wherever the hell they are. Sutton says that they’d meet up after the dance and then said some other stuff as if it were R-rated, when really is was barely PG-rated. Ethan ends up pissed off because he realizes there’s no way Sutton will ever take their relationship public.

So now for our girl Laurel! If you can remember all the way back to last week, you’ll know she was grounded for saying that she stole Sutton’s laptop. And now that she has a Justin, she really wants to go to Homecoming, but the Mercers are not having it. Then, Justin is nominated by the golf team to be Homecoming King. This is baffling because he’s the new guy and there’s pretty much no way that he’d be nominated at a non-TV high school. But whatever. So Emma goes to Ted and Kristen and makes a seriously sappy—and very NOT Sutton—speech about how Laurel should be allowed to go to Homecoming. In a (NOT) shocking move by the Mercers, they allow Laurel to go to the dance even though she’s still grounded. Huzzah.

All right, other things you need to know before I get to The Dance . . . Nisha tells Adrian Pasdar that there are rumors about Mads and Eduardo’s “relationship,” and then we all learn that Emma can apparently sketch really well, a trait she realizes is perhaps inherited from her mother, who was obviously an artist since there was a night sky mural painted on her ceiling. Emma then asks Ted if her birth mom could have been an artist. Ted gets weird and defensive, as he is so apt to do.

Ok, I think that’s it. TIME FOR THE DANCE!

The Homecoming Dance in this episode actually looks like a real-life Student Council might have decorated it—there are blue twinkle lights and some center pieces, but nothing too crazy. I appreciate that.

Emma shows up wearing this really odd asymmetrical black dress that has black rocks or grommets or something on it. I’m not a fan of it. She’s not there very long before the Homecoming King and Queen announcements are made. She (Well, Sutton) wins Queen, of course, and makes a “heartfelt” speech that is ultimately really boring. Then she goes and sits in a big-ass, red upholstered chairs that is straight out of Alice in Wonderland. Or The Sims. Then King is announced, and, what’s this? Justin wins! This is ridiculous. But, I can’t say I’m surprised.

Check the shiny, plastic crowns, y'all.

Anyway, the newly crowned Emma and Justin have their requisite first dance. They leave enough space between them for Jesus and talk about how surreal being royalty is. (BTW, Emma’s tiara is unremarkable and Justin’s crown looks like it came from Party City.) AND THEN. WHAT’S THIS?! Ethan rolls in wearing a tux and carrying his motorcycle helmet. A girl in the background actually says “What is he doing here?” But Ethan doesn’t care what the bitchy girl just said. He walks straight up to Justin and Emma, who are the only couple dancing, with a spotlight on them, and asks if he can cut in. He is RACKING UP the Pacey Points, y’all.

So Justin lets Ethan cut in, and then Emma and Ethan are slow dancing and not leaving room for Jesus, and everyone is watching them intently. Emma says something about how she didn’t think he would come because Sutton wouldn’t have wanted him there and then HE does this thing where he moves her hand, which he is holding in his, to his shoulder (It’s very suave. He has, like eleventy-thousand Pacey Points right now) and says “I was just waiting for the right girl to ask me.” AND THEN HE MAKES OUT WITH HER. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. IN THE SPOTLIGHT. *canons explode with Pacey Points*

So back to Laurel. She’s outside of the gym, kind of looking pouty. Justin comes out to find her and they chat about how Laurel is feeling like everything is fleeting and she can’t believe how great her life is now when compared to last year when she was “Laurel, like, AP dork.” (I love her.) Then Justin puts his Party City crown on her head and gives her a hug. But, during the hug his face falls and looks grim. HMMMM.

Oh! So! Adrian Pasdar! Turns out, Nisha sent him the pic she took of Mads throwing herself at Eduardo the hot male ballet teacher and he confronts Mads about it AT THE DANCE . She totally tells the truth, which catches me off guard. But good for her. And then Adrian Pasdar asks if Eduardo was hiding behind the pocket doors and she says yes. Adrian Pasdar then leaves and goes to the dance studio to find Eduardo, who is actually there and doing this really bizarre spinning-on-the-floor thing. It’s REALLY bizarre. Like, he’s trying to do his best impression of a b-boy, but it’s not very good, but it’s better than someone who straight up can’t dance? I don’t know how to explain this. It was just weird.

Anyway, Mads also shows up, and Adrian Pasdar tells her to leave. Eduardo tries to apologize about the whole Mads thing, and Adrian Pasdar says that that doesn’t matter. (WHAT. I HAZ CONFUSE.) And then there’s a jump cut to Sutton, who sees a photo via the Interwebs of a crowned Emma making out with Ethan. In response, she throws herself at Thayer, who is more than happy to oblige.

And then we see Emma in her room, looking at the damn photo album. HOLD UP. Girl just won Homecoming Queen and she is in her room? And not at an after party drinking her weight in spiked punch and making out with Ethan?! Who do these writers think they are? Don’t they know the RULES of high school-set TV shows?! Anyway, she’s going through the photo album, and the page with the pic of Ted and we-all-presume-Annie and Adrian Pasdar has been ripped out. Emma then sees Ted hide it between some magazines. Oh Ted. And then Ethan walks through the still-baffling exterior door in Sutton’s bedroom. But I think he and Emma just end up talking about something. Boo.

Anyway! The episode ends with the doctor at the hospital/clinic from the beginning of the episode receiving the photo of Sutton Mercer/ Emma Whatever-her-last-name-is. Then we SEE Annie Hobbs, who is PAINTING a whimsical night sky scene that includes TWO little girls. Who are blonde? Whatever.

So that’s that! What’d you think of this week’s episode? Do you have any theories on the Ted-Adrian Pasdar-Annie connection? What do you think Adrian Pasdar wants with Eduardo the hot male ballet teacher? And, am I the only one who thinks Travis, Emma’s creepy foster brother is going to show up again? Tell me EVERYTHING in comments!