Well, the season is over. And, damn. Just… wow. In case you didn’t catch Jimmy Kimmel Wednesday night, Elijah Wood revealed that Wilfred is basically a manifestation of Ryan’s mind. I figured that already, but damn. Man, Spoiler Alert, much? But turns out that’s exactly what he is. Ostensibly… Wait, lemme esplain sum up.

This episode, “Identity,” opens with Ryan working on finding a defense for Jenna. Remember that little drug-induced public gropefest Jenna performed on herself last week? Yeah, that little situation. Meanwhile, Wilfred’s busy writing up his will, just in case. Should anything happen to him, he doesn’t want Ryan and Bear fighting over his shit – “or any of my other stuff.” Hee. Wilfred then tries to help him hash out his strategy. Wilfred says that if Ryan wins this, he can have Jenna – he’ll even do whatever it takes to get Jenna for him.

Ryan sees it as a trap – FINALLY! – and demands to know what the hell is going on. Wilfred starts going on about how things “here” are a little off. He says the pills Ryan took back in the pilot worked and now Ryan is in a suspended reality. Ryan doesn’t understand and Wilfred clarifies that everything on the island is real, then hushes Ryan lest the Smoke Monster hear them! AAHHHH! YES. Man. The Lost refs make me so ridiculously happy, you guys. Ryan says he’s seen Lost, and Wilfred wants to know what he thought of the ending. But, dammit, Ryan has to go and continue trying to have a real conversation. It’s been over a year, and I’m still willing to have that conversation. Priorities, Ryan. God.  Anyway, turns out, at least the way Wilfred explains it, Ryan has to save Jenna in order for him to get out of Purgatory. Yeah, so Wilfred as Virgil? Nailed it.

Time comes for their little mediation meeting with some douchey anchor and the station lawyer. The OLD Ryan would have dug up some dirt on them, but as he told Wilfred, the NEW Ryan won’t do it. Good thing Wilfred’s on his side and did the work for him! And it works. Jenna’s going to settle, and they’re going to let her back on the air. One thing: they want Jenna to take a piss test for “insurance purposes.” Balls. So, if he wants to win and get Jenna, Ryan’s going to have to fudge here a bit.

To expedite winning Jenna, he decides to try to get her by force. Not force force, but “Wilfred” force, so… through manipulation. He finds out from Wilfred that Jenna still hasn’t given Drew an answer to his marriage proposal, so he organizes a party, inviting Jenna and Drew, Kristen and her hubs Leo, and Mr. Patel from down the street. It was actually a pretty genius plan, and it worked exactly as he had hoped. Mr. Patel’s description of India causes a fight between Kristen and Leo (due to the fact that she’s going to India to help Richard Alpert Arturo), which shows Jenna how shitty marriage is. I say this only really works because she’s doubting the relationship with Drew anyway, but kudos to you, Ryan, you conniving bastard. Wilfred isn’t too happy about it, but he’s easy enough to distract with bubbles. Three times. God, these dog moments kill me. I’ve said this before. Anyway, when Ryan and Jenna go in to sign the papers, he asks her out on a date, and she says yes. Man, things really seem to be looking up for Ryan! I’m mildly suspicious!

But, back to the drug test. That’s an issue. But Ryan’s got another plan. He invites Kristen over and plies her with lots and lots of coffee. While he’s doing this, she spills about having an affair with Richard Alpert Arturo. He finally demands the pee, and we find out that this is the type of thing that almost got him disbarred. He threatens to tell Leo about the affair if she doesn’t give him the pee. It works. Alright, now I’m starting to get worried. Ryan’s plans never work this well…

Over at Jenna’s house, Wilfred is trying to keep the insurance rep from collecting the pee, but it’s not working. Ryan’s all “you said I have to do what it takes? YOU can’t handle the truth! have to do whatever it takes!” So, Wilfred runs in front of the rep’s car, Ryan switches the pee and OH WILFRED NO! Blood. There’s blood! Oh god! They rush to the vet, where Jenna gets the call that her pee is clean (that’s REALLY fast testing, btw), but also that she’s pregnant. Oh shit! Jenna’s all “I guess I’m getting married after all.” Ugh. Then, OH THEN, Kristen calls, tells Ryan that she told Leo about the affair and is going to India, and also that he’s dead to her. Way to go, Ryan. YOU BLEW IT. That collapsed really, really quickly.

Ryan goes in to talk to Wilfred, who is going to be okay. He says he forgot who he was; he ruined everything for himself. He says he understands why Wilfred is there – to help him keep his head, to pull him back up the slippery slope of being an asshole, and I can only surmise, losing his shit completely. Just then Wilfred wakes up but he has no idea who Ryan is. “I don’t know you! I don’t know you! Get out!” Stranger Danger, you guys! Ryan runs back to his house to get Wilfred’s will, which for some reason is important now, even though Wilfred apparently only has amnesia. But when Ryan gets inside his house and tries to get to the basement, all he finds behind the door is a coat closet. And a tennis ball. OH SHIT.

At this point, the really creepy music that started when Ryan wrenches open the door turns into an oddly familiar screeching airplane engine noise, then just stops. THAT? Was a nice fucking touch. Well done, music supervisor or whoever is in charge of that shit. Aaaaand, that’s season 1, folks!

• “What are you? Who are you? WHY are you?”
• “Everything on the island is real; everything else is illusion.” “What island?” “Shh! Smoke monster!”
• “I was a weatherman, son!”
• “I did not lie. I ‘Wilfred’ lied.” “You manipulated me.” “No, I ‘Wilfred’ manipulated you.”
• “We have to disembowel the insurance rep—” “No, we need clean pee.” “You didn’t let me finish, Ryan. We have to disembowel the insurance representative?”
• “As we speak, Jenna is squeezing out the last golden droplets of her once promising career!”

For a relatively clean episode, that was definitely one of the most enjoyable ones of this season (and that’s saying a lot. My love for like 11 out of 13 episodes is pretty big). This episode took a character that I’d been getting a little tired of (in more of a aren’t-you-ever-going-to-learn? sort of way, because seriously, I love Ryan) and made him a foil for himself. He eventually realizes the error of his ways, but fuck me, then they turn the entire WORLD upside down. Best cliffhanger to a show that you wouldn’t expect a cliffhanger from ever! Well played, writers. Well fucking played. I am definitely tuning in for season 2.

So, what did you think? Now that the season is over, did the show live up to your expectations? (Yes.) What was your favorite episode? (Still Raffi. Def. That was just ALL kinds of fucked up. This says a lot about me, perhaps…) What random guest stars do you think they’ll have next season? I’ve got my fingers crossed for Michael Emerson. Please, please, please, PTB! We need some Ben Linus up in this bitch.