The Powers That Be decided that we’d get a double dose of Wilfred last night. HOORAY! So I’m going to bring you double the Wilfred love in one recap. It’s like a two-for-one deal… even though you’re not paying for it… Shut up; I’m tired. Anyway, let’s just dive right in!
The ep opens and Wilfred is wearing a cone because he’s got a “hot spot”! He’s grumpy and this is hilarious. Jenna is going out of town with Drew to work on their relationship and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, Ryan got a call from the nuthouse where his mother lives, wanting him to come in. He tells Jenna and Wilfred that she lives in an artists’ “retreat”. You can just hear the quotation marks around that.
Jenna is being oddly affectionate with Wilfred this episode, all “Mommy’s going to miss you” when she leaves. Make note, kids. That’ll come up later. As soon as she leaves, Wilfred flails and the cone flies off. Hee.
On the way to the “retreat,” Ryan is telling Wilfred of when his mother went crazy: it was during a dinner party that his dad had to throw. It made her anxious and she was looking for a place to hide. That place turned out to be the chimney and the fire department had to come get her out. This reminds Wilfred of a similar incident he had with a vacuum cleaner hose. “I still jizz, but out of spite, not pleasure.”
Ryan explains that she was taken to the hospital for an evaluation and could have left after 72 hours, but stayed for 20 years. Wilfred tells him he’s justified in being angry with his mother for leaving… for no reason… like Jenna. Parallel! But now Ryan’s mom is ready to venture back into the real world. The doctor points out that the most successful transitions are facilitated by their families, which means she’s coming to live with Ryan! Hilarity is sure to ensue! Kind of.
Outside, Ryan tells him what the doctor said and Wilfred is all “we cant have her cramping our style.” Ryan is about to concede, but Wilfred tries to rile him up again. When they enter the common area, his mother (Mary Steenburgen! GULP!) starts this loud story about how the doctor had to pull “this miracle from my uterus like a rabbit from a hat.” That’s not awkward at all. Then a cat named Mittens hisses at Wilfred, and Ryan’s mom starts in on insulting his father. She’s realized a few things about herself, like how she’s a free spirit and all, and when she touches Ryan’s face she leaves a streak of red paint. And then make that Indian noise – you know the one – with her hand and jumps up and down. Yeah, she’s ready to integrate back into society.
Wilfred starts biting his hot spot, and Momma Newman treats it with a tea bag, and it feels so much better… and suddenly Wilfred’s in love. When Ryan tells her she has to stay there, Wilfred has completely switched sides. Ryan is an animal with no compassion (title of the episode! I feel like their saying it in the episode needs to be another drinking rule. So drink!). He guilts Ryan into saying it’s okay. GROUP HUG!
The next morning she’s making him fish stick and peanut butter tacos for breakfast and Ryan freaks out a bit at the mess she made in the kitchen. He is not enjoying her being in his space. They’re chit-chatting and she says that she’s been dying to catch up on the family gossip. “Is Kristen still into black guys?” Okay, that made me laugh. But what made me laugh even harder – Kristen’s married?! HA! That poor man. Anyway, point of this conversation thread is that she’s always been closer to Ryan than Kristen – and people always said he was JUST. LIKE. HER. Ruh-roh.
Later, complaining to Wilfred about the situation, Wilfred holds up his fingers close together and says it’s the amount of compassion Ryan is showing his mother – also the length of Ryan’s dick. “They happen to be equal in this case. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s pretty cool when this shit lines up. Like an eclipse.” Wilfred, once again the smartest dog in the world, says that when Ryan talks about his mom, he can smell his fear. Hmm. They come back to see her in the front yard denouncing corporate greed and the death of selflessness through interpretive dance-painting… and Wilfred joins in and this shit has to be seen to fully appreciate the wtfuckery.
Inside Ryan yells at her for doing that on his front yard and tells her to get dressed because they’re going apartment hunting. Just then, Jenna comes up – she had a change of plans, she’s back early. She and Ryan’s mom meet when she brings Wilfred outside.
Jenna tries to play with Wilfred and he’s like “Sorry, I have a new mommy now.” And tries to make out with Ryan’s mom. Strike that; he actually does make out with her. Tasty.
While they’re all sharing some Chinese food for dinner, Catherine tells a story about how she once caught Ryan trying to masturbate to Mona – MONA — from Who’s the Boss when he was 8 years old. Jenna finds this very amusing and Wilfred snaps at her for interrupting Ryan’s mom, whose name is Catherine. Heh. Catherine is shocked that he’s so embarrassed all of a sudden. She regales them with another story about how she took him to belly dancing class. Catherine is dancing and Wilfred is dancing and Jenna is laughing and Ryan finally snaps and tells them to stop. Why can’t she just act normal?
He tells her he’s glad she stayed away when he was little because she’s crazy. She says she should go back to the nut house, and Wilfred tells Ryan to apologize. She pulls up her skirt and sticks her ass in Ryan’s face.. OH SNAP!
Wilfred is incensed. Ryan says she’s barely his mothers; he’s nothing like her. Wilfred points out that she went nuts when she was just a bit older than he is now – so maybe he is turning out like her! “I’m not crazy.” “Says the man to the dog.”
Ryan is immovable – she’s going back to the wellness center. Wilfred pulls out a little handheld fan, farts and blows it in Ryan’s direction. It’s little moments like these that I absolutely fucking adore. Jesus, writers. Brilliant. Also? The music playing during that little part? Perfect. When this show hits it, it hits it.
They next day they get to the hospital and the doctor wants to “talk about Ryan.” Catherine brings in an 8-page diatribe that Ryan “wrote” talking about how the post office monitors people. Jenna, masturbation and the post office are all apparently important pieces of the puzzle that is Ryan. Things spiral out of control quickly and Ryan starts yelling about how Wilfred wrote it, and is trying to manipulate them all so he can steal his mother. Oh shit. The doctor wants to hold him for monitoring for 72 hours – just like his mother.
After 3 days the doctor determines (based on medical experience and Ryan’s lack of insurance) that Ryan’s sane and he can leave. Ryan apologizes to his mother, and she decides to stay at the home, where she can be herself. They both say the other one should visit more often. When Ryan leaves, the mother turns to Mittens from earlier and it’s Rhea Pearlman in a cat suit! GENETICS, BITCHES!
The second episode is called “Isolation.” There’s apparently a cryptic neighborly “planning” meeting that Jenna’s gong to and she wants Ryan to go too. He’s really not interested. When Ryan comes back inside, Wilfred is at the back door and Bear is lying on the floor in the kitchen. Bear was supposed to break in and unlock the door for Wilfred. He starts yelling at him, and okay, I love these moments too.
Wilfred’s Words of Wisdom in this ep say that people in the neighborhood think that Ryan is weird – like “Put the lotion in the basket” weird. Wilfred actually said that. <3. Wilfred and Ryan are walking through the community, and Wilfred is explaining who everyone is, and talking to Ryan about looking out for their own. But there’s one person who is apparently the devil – a little boy who keeps tricking Wilfred with things like not actually throwing the tennis ball, and making him eat a balled up napkin after he told him it was food. Wilfred falls to the ground, sobbing “It doesn’t make any sense!” Dog moments are priceless.
Ryan realizes that they’re planning the block party at the meeting. He’s going to pass, but Wilfred tries to get him to attend. I don’t really understand what Wilfred’s getting out of this, why he insists that Ryan go, but whatever. He tells him that if he turns his back on the pack, the pack will turn its back on him. Oooh, ominous.
Ryan starts meeting neighbors, and hey, it’s Eric Stoltz! (GULP!). They banter about how they don’t know him and blah blah blah. Ryan gives them a bottle of wine and lies about making a commitment to meeting new people. They call more people over to meet him. IT’S THE PURPLE GRAPE FROM THE FRUIT OF THE LOOM COMMERCIALS! GULP!
Ryan seems really uncomfortable. He is super paranoid. I blame all the pots he smoken. And then his tongue falls out. Yep, it’s the pot. Or a dream. Hard to tell really. Ryan wakes up on the couch with a hammer in his hand. The police are outside. Someone broke into all the cars – except Ryan’s. Some of the neighbors think it was him. Wilfred is leading a lynch mob, starts chanting “bull shit”, but then realizes he’s the only one with a torch. Ha. Also, if Ryan sees him holding a torch, I wonder what the neighbors really see. Just a dog barking? This shit blows my mind sometimes. Moving on.
Wilfred explains that he’s the freak in the neighborhood; that’s why people accused him. Ryan says he’d never. Wilfred reminds him of the things he’s capable of: shitting in a neighbor’s boot, fornicating with a stuffed giraffe in front of a child. HAA! Ryan accuses Wilfred of breaking into the cars. And for once, Wilfred admits to it – he did it so that Ryan would go to the party. Because if he doesn’t, it’d seem suspicious. Again, don’t really get what Wilfred is getting out of this… except further opportunity to allow Ryan to humiliate himself. Which he does, several times.
Ryan runs into the homeless man who lives in the alley who teaches Ryan that he needs to reach out and make a connection with his fellow neighbors. And Ryan can start with him by letting him pull on Ryan’s junk for $20. Classy. As Ryan makes his escape, the little boy Andy is getting arrested for stealing all the stuff out of people’s cars. Some people apologize to Ryan, but that of course makes him feel guilty, even though it’s nice to be part of the community again. But Andy is part of the pack too. Ryan decides to take the blame. As he’s telling everyone, Jenna finds the homeless man, Trash Face dead. Mr. Patel’s stolen laptop is there, and they all jump to the conclusion that Trash Face stole it. Wilfred orchestrated it to save the most important member of his pack – Ryan, awww. And all is right in the world again.
They’re at Trash Face’s grave, saying a few words and then Wilfred starts to pee on it. He cries and says he’s marking him as part of his community. “Rest in Pee.” Amazing.
I liked these episodes alright. They weren’t my favorites, and I really took some sort of issue with the second one. Not sure why. Maybe I was getting too cozy with the way Ryan and Wilfred work together in the past few episodes that when this one went back to the rapport from the first few eps… I don’t. I feel gypped or something. Don’t get me wrong; they still had their awesome moments. I think the best parts of these episodes were Wilfred’s genuine confusion at how certain phrases were insults and how the boy was tricking him. I really love how this show makes you think about things in a way you’d never consider, like how a dog would interpret something. I realize how that sounds, and you can argue about how much dogs do and don’t actually understand, but think about it. People – Jason Gann and other writers – have to really consider how a dog would vocalize these experiences. The end result is why this show is so often genius.
- “It was a little racist, but it was fun.”
- “You son of a bitch.” “How is that an insult? I’ve never understood that.”
- “EAT SHIT!” “Again, your tone says insult, but what I’m hearing is a tempting offer.”
- “You can put your baked goods up your anus!”
- “His cardboard sign was very clear. That money was for food, not drugs.”
So what did you think? Does Wilfred still have it? Were there any other favorite quotes I missed? Comment below!