Season Finale! So I officially hate ABC Family. I know I bitch about people who complain about spoilers. Because honestly, if you don’t want spoilers, stay off the internet. The thing is, something seems wrong about a network tweeting the fucking ending within a few hours of it airing. I mean, maybe consider the people who didn’t get to watch it live. Regular people are one thing. A network should be more considerate.

Anywho, I’m also hungover so I’m extra bitchy. This does not bode well for my opinion of Amy.

I really hate clichéd photobooth montages. They suck at weddings, they suck at carnivals and they suck on television. Plus it is so fucking obvious that the “good” is going wrong.

Has Chloe never seen Everwood, The Vampire Diaries or The Notebook?! Ferris wheels absolutely make the relationship. (See, totally bitchy tonight).

Alek won Aslan. That’s hilarious. But Paul is totally awesome considering he gives Alek constant shit.  I’ve secretly decided that they are going to be another of my favorite bromances. Shipper names, please apply.

And In a weird twist, Amy didn’t annoy the hell out of me.

Zane: Oh Zane. First, let’s talk about the hair. That lack of styling belongs on the male cast of the Pretty Little Liars, not with my beautiful Brian and Alek. Go away now. Zane’s also just a wee bit fucked up isn’t he? Klaus would love him. He’s also totes not allowed to be Alek’s brother. He’s gross and icky and Alex is swoonworthy.

Brian: Soooo am I like the only recapper who doesn’t think Brian is boring? Because I heart him so much but it seems like most people are kind of blah towards him. Yes Brian, you are a fool. A fool for LOVE. Poor Brian, he just wants to be loved but everyone ends up hurting him. How does he not break your heart?! And while I get that Brian is happy to learn about why his grandma didn’t talk to him for all those years, Grey Damon did awesome at showing the hurt in Brian’s eyes at the realization that his dad has never shown that kind of love towards him. He’s like the sweetest boy ever. He should be named Matt. I love Matts.

Valentina is a total bitch. Papa Brian is an asshat. They should spend some time together. I mean they can’t know that Valentina is apparently dead but ya know, maybe they can hook up in hell.

On the other hand, Mama Chloe is super smart sometimes with mom radar but not so much at other times.

Grandma Ginger: (Yep, I’m calling her that. She’s spicy like a proper ginger.) I know I should be pissed at her but I love badass old ladies, even if they are bad.

Chloe, sweetheart, I love you but I can only give you so many breaks. You can’t keep toying with both boys, even if it is involuntary. Also, this business of texting/emailing messages is fine, but you have to double check sources so you don’t end up totally fucked.  But at the same time, I totally get that Chloe’s desperate to get to know her dad again, so she’s not going to think that clearly. Plus she’s 16. I mean, shit, I don’t think clearly at 27.

Sidebar: I’m still torn on all sides of this little love triangle. Because for Chloe, I get that she let herself get too far involved with Brian before realizing she needed to pull back. And then, even though she thought she pulled away fast enough for her (though Brian’s feelings were already involved), she’s been realizing that she loves him. But I think in all fairness to Chloe, she loves or could love Alek too. As I mentioned before, these guys are two very different people and fulfill different needs in Chloe’s life. While I appreciate that Chloe has never allowed either boy to start some sort of pull out the ruler and pee around her bullshit, I’m very glad that Alek stood up for himself. He should be Chloe’s choice, not her safety net. That said, it will be fascinating to see how the second half of season 1 plays out in the winter between these three.

I SO FUCKING CALLED CHLOE DYING AGAIN IN THE FINALE! (I’m kind of pissed that I was right about Jasmine).

Okay so now that I’ve reacted, let’s sum up the midseason finale.

CBWA: Brian when he first called Chloe. I’m kind of a sucker for plaid and Grey Damon wears it really, really well.

First, I’m kind of amazed at the show for being so badass in the finale. Now, I’m guessing that not everyone will be dead. Actually, I’m positive Brian will make it because there’s no way the show is dumping that love triangle. Still, even if only one person dies, pushing the show that far is impressive for a midseason finale.

Second, I really want to know what is the deal with Brian’s dad and why are other members of The Order, including Grandma Ginger, keeping things from him?

Third, what is Alek going to do about this brother?!

Finally, if Brian does come back, what will that teach the Mai about their kisses? I mean, that one guy ended up dead because of the Brazilian Mai but Xavier’s death was hinted to be an Order thing. So I’m back to my question of are Chloe’s kisses different, as in knock them out but don’t kill humans (so The Order finished off Xavier) or will Brian turn out to have some freaky power and come back to life?

So many questions! I guess I’ll see you all in January now if the show returns. (Does anyone know if that is happening?) Hope you all like the recaps and now go read my Awkward recaps to get you through the rest of the summer!