You know, I increasingly find myself thinking, “I could really wait for this show on DVD.”  Anybody else?  I still enjoy True Blood, but I’m also kind of … meh.  I just kind of feel like nothing new is really happening, which is weird, because they’re way off the book now, and I should feel like it’s ALL new.  But for some reason, not so much.

Now that said, there was one truly good WTF moment, and that was when I thought Jessica might’ve actually killed Hoyt.  I was relieved that she didn’t (see last week’s discussion on ladyboners), but it was an intense couple of seconds there at the True Blood party.  But that made their actual breakup maybe harder for me, and I realize that Hoyt and Jessica are STILL my favorite part and best reason for watching the show.  In hindsight, the first breakup was so Jessica-centric, which made sense, because it was her dream.  It was Hoyt begging her to stay, being pathetic, taking the blame for everything, and saying he was sorry for calling her blood shit–which, by the way, I thought was a really nice touch, because it showed how much she’s still holding on to that, which is so real. And of course, if she just KILLED Hoyt, there’d be no messy post-breakup to deal with.

But the reality was what made the actual breakup scene so devastating.  He was completely pissed at her, lashing out, blaming her, and taking cheap shots at her eternal virginity and his mom being right about her.  That was hard to watch.  But the thing that really broke my heart?  Was Hoyt telling Jessica that he deserved more than someone who could look at all the love he had to give and say, “Nope, not good enough.”  WORD, Hoyt, and we’ve all been there.  It’s sad to think of how many regrets you can have over your first love, and how you treated them, and know that you were wrong–like, really, really WRONG, and then in Jessica’s case, have to live with that forever.  That SUCKS.

And you know, I also liked that things didn’t just turn out rosy for Jessica.  She went to Jason’s house, and he did a really decent thing by turning her down because Hoyt is his best friend, especially given what a fucking manwhore we know Ghost Daddy Jason to be.  So does this mean Jessica will go back to live with Bill?

Alright, speaking of Bill.  I think this is my favorite Bill season.  He’s been somewhat interesting, probably because he hasn’t been around Sookie that much.  And even then, when he has, I’ve liked him.  I liked how Eric called him “my liege,” and Sookie called him, “My … Bill,” and he kind of smiled.  It’s totally weird–in the books, I liked Sookie and Eric, and I’ve been waiting for this storyline basically for the entire series.  And I liked Sookie with Alcide too (in the books … on the show, he’s kind of a (super hot) dud).  But this year, with them apart, I find myself kind of rooting for Sookie and Bill to work it out.  Who knew?

And it’s not even the loss of ladyboner for Eric, because I kind of saw the hotness again, during the snow fucking.  Them being high on each other’s blood and taking a shared V trip was pretty entertaining, although cheesy as hell.  Billy commented that it both looked and sounded like a perfume commercial from the 90′s, and TOTALLY.  But I’m getting tired of their “storyline”, if you can call mindless, constant fucking a storyline, so I’m glad they’re joining Bill’s battle royale so we can get something else going on for awhile.

Not much new on the witch front … well, except that the actual physical battle finally started, but it doesn’t FEEL like anything new.  Right?  And we’re back to the beginning.

But we did see Alcide promise Debbie to stay away from Sookie and then like three minutes later go rescue her, while Debbie the White Wolf (there is something SO 80′s about that entire phrase) watched sadly.  And nakedly.  I’m pretty ready to get this bitch killed now.  In fact, I have a whole kill list going.  Let’s examine:

In addition to Debbie, who is boring and also sort of weird looking, I’m ready to kill the Leader of the Pack, Vroom Vroom, him and his terrible hair.  Inserting him into the Sam story did nothing for me, because I already see it coming where Sam has to kill him, BFD, and Alcide becomes the alpha.  They could not have telegraphed that shit any more.

Tommy.  Even though his rendition of Maxine was hilarious and terrible, I still have no use for him.

Andy Bellefleur.  Really?  Another V addict?  Been there, done that, bored.

Tara.  Tara might be beautiful, but whether she’s badass or crying uncontrollably, I just never care.  I don’t care if she wins or loses, I don’t care if she’s happy or sad, I just do not give a fuck.  And you know what?  Neither does anyone else, or she wouldn’t be in the boat she’s in.  Tara has drifted to the bottom of the Bon Temps junk drawer.

And down there with her?  Jesus.  He pops up like once a month for witch exposition and then he’s off duty again for three weeks.  The only person that works less than Jesus is pilots.  And the cast of Jersey Shore.  (Speaking of which, you should be reading David’s recaps, even if you aren’t watching the show.  They’re hilarious, and witty, and very literate.  Basically, they’re the opposite of why you refuse to watch Jersey Shore, so they’re perfect for you.  Trust me.)

And that pretty much concludes my “Please Die Already List: True Blood Edition”.

Alright, speaking of death, let’s get back to my favorite character–Devil Baby.  Terry watching him with a mirror cracked my shit up, and I’m glad that he’s for at least a laugh per episode.  But this whole thing with his friendly ghost and her whole backstory?  Again, I’m just kind of not that into it.  Even if I do love Lafayette, and even if I do think that he did an awesome job as the nanny, and even if I do want him to have a storyline in Bon Temps (and one that minimizes his Kris Kross ‘do, at that).

Also, Creepy Doll wasn’t really that much less creepy brand spankin’ new, right?  But then, such is the nature of dolls.

Alright, I think that does it for me.  I feel like I’m forgetting stuff, but you can call me out about it in the comments.  I’m cool with it.  What did you guys think?  Favorite moments?  Funny lines?  Thoughts?  Theories?  Do share!