You guys. Last night’s Wilfred was kind of wonderful. It… it actually managed to surprise me. While keeping with its own weird tradition of seemingly pulling plot points out of Wilfred’s anus-hole like worms (I said it), last night’s episode still managed to use a different type of storytelling. To tell you the truth, I was scared that this show was going to start getting predictable. Not in the sense that I knew exactly what was coming, ergo Plot Worms, but in that the episodes were following a fairly formulaic structure. It’s the whole Wilfred’s Words of Wisdom thing… every single episode. I’m not saying that’s bad – it’s fucking hilarious – but it’s so nice to mix it up once in a while.
This episode, Drew, Jenna’s boyfriend has returned (Oh, and it’s Chris Klein, so chug your drink!). Wilfred is not happy at all. While Drew and Jenna are playfully engaged in a round of Rape & Pillage, Wilfred is complaining to Ryan about how annoying it is to have this guy come into his house, and disrespect him and trying to control everything. Huh, sounds familiar. Especially when Ryan turns back around to his sandwich and finds it gone… while lettuce and mustard cling to Wilfred’s fur. Ryan yells at him, and Wilfred makes a racist comment. Drink!
Drew and Jenna invited Ryan over for a little barbecue, and Ryan sees Drew yelling at Wilfred and ordering him around. Drew proceeds to dominate the conversation all Sheboygan, Sheboygan, Sheboygan, something about Sheboygan Lager sales, and buying a beer for another beer company’s salesman who lost his job because Drew is so great and blah blah blah. He smacks Wilfred with a newspaper for trying to eat from the table and Ryan asks Wilfred why he does everything Drew says if he hates him so much. Wilfred is all “why do you do everything I say?” Oooh, snap! Touché, Wilfred!
Drew and Wilfred then wrestle a bit, and Wilfred threatens to bite off Drew’s ears, and is all “Your death will be my holiday”, before passing out. Later that night, Ryan gets a phone call from Wilfred (aaaand chug!). Drew needs to go. Ryan wants to know what’s wrong, and Wilfred is all “Back to back to back to back to back orgasms. That’s what’s wrong!” I personally don’t find that to be such a bad thing, but holy crap Jenna is a screamer. Also? When Wilfred calls back via Skype or something (CHUG!), we see that Drew is a jackrabbit. Nevermind. Fuck that shit.
The next day while Wilfred is struggling to get it up for a hump-a-thon with Bear, Ryan is concerned about breaking up Jenna and Drew. It goes against his conscience. Wilfred tells him about a guy Jenna knew in college, who was totally in the friendzone (like Ryan is if he doesn’t break them up) – the only scoring he did was the triple word score in their scrabble games. BAH-ZING! Ryan is still hesitant, but when Jenna and Drew come over to ask if he can watch Wilfred while they go out and celebrate the fact that Drew is moving in with Jenna, Ryan’s totally game (drink!).
Earlier, Jenna had confided in Ryan that Drew is a terrible sport, and he’s super competitive, so Ryan hatches a plan. He used to be on the All-State Ping Pong team (do these really exist? I mean, like, outside Forrest Gump?), so he’ll just challenge him to a friendly game, and kick his ass! Personally, I like Wilfred’s plan of putting Drew’s hand in warm water while he’s sleeping, and just when he’s starting to piss himself, take a rock and crush in his skull. But that’s me. Anywho, Wilfred is skeptical. And also a little dismayed at all the childhood relics Ryan has in his basement. Marveling at the easy-bake oven and the chemistry set, Wilfred utters one of the best lines of the episode: “I guess my only question is how were you not blow-jobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?” That is a verb I feel our society was gravely lacking. Thank you, Wilfred!
So Ryan sets up the table, and pulls out his own Flexolite ping pong paddle, and Drew, as predicted, ambles over, and is tempted, but told Jenna he’d lay off the competitive sports for a while. Ryan eggs him on with some trash talk, and it’s on like Donkey-Kong. Jenna comes over to see what’s up (she and Drew were supposed to be going to a play), and is not happy at all, but Drew pretty much ignores her. Things start to get really heated, and Drew loses his shirt. Ryan’s good, but Drew is better, and he beats him. Wilfred falls to his knees (“NOOOOOOO!”) while Drew gloats in Ryan’s face, and starts knocking shit over, and is basically a really shitty winner. Jenna’s all “I’m never going anywhere where you again!” and holy crap Ryan and Wilfred were successful.
Too bad Ryan feels guilty. Especially after Drew comes over on his way to the airport to apologize to Ryan. He tells Ryan that the story about the other salesman – he didn’t buy him a beer. It was for himself, which he drank and then spit in the other guy’s face. Wow, Drew is a First Class Asshole. And yet, Ryan still feels really bad. Wilfred says “that’s just your conscience being a total gaylord.” He’s just excited the tyrant is gone!
But Ryan cannot be that easily dissuaded. He starts in on how Wilfred manipulates him and pushes and pushes until he gives in. He’s all “sound familiar?!” Wilfred tells Ryan to shut up and make him a sandwich, so Ryan smacks him with a rolled up newspaper. Point taken. Wilfred backs down and even asks permission to go home to comfort Jenna. I don’t like the sound of this…
Ryan calls Jenna to apologize, but she doesn’t answer. Instead he finds an apology card from her next to a rather large, and delicious-looking brownie. While Ryan is eating it, Wilfred calls, and in a total Hannibal Lector voice starts telling Ryan how he poisoned the brownie with a neurotoxin (“All signs point to… DEATH!”). Okay, now he sort of sounds like an Australian Riddler. Ryan finds him in his basement, and accuses him of trying to manipulate him again. Wilfred tries to attack Ryan with a newspaper (“I have NEWS for you!”), but they knock over the meth lab chemistry set that Wilfred set up, and there’s noxious (though probably not) gas everywhere, and Ryan pulls them to safety outside. Wilfred admits that he poisoned Ryan with theobromine, and they head to the hospital.
But you know what theobromine is? It’s a chemical found in chocolate. It’s only poisonous to dogs (which, btw, who let the dog into the hospital?!). Collective groan. Oh, Wilfred. In all seriousness, Wilfred tells Ryan to also ask the doctor “about the raisins. I put raisins in there too.” Also, he baked the brownie? CHUG!
It turns out their efforts were for naught anyway. We find out that Jenna forgave Drew and the got back together. In the tag, Ryan is kind of bummed out about it. Wilfred has a cure for that though. “I know what’ll cheer you up. Bear, come here. I want you to meet my friend, Ryan.” Amazing.
I think what made this episode different was that there wasn’t really a “moral” of the story the way there has been. Sure this one had a lesson, but even Wilfred didn’t seem to learn it until the end. Ryan and Wilfred growing up together, awww (“growing up” is used loosely here, obvs). It was a nice touch. Wilfred still turned crazy halfway through the episode, but that’s pretty much par for this canine’s course.
- “Oh, I did it? Because I’m a dog, right? I can only imagine what you’d say if I were black.”
- “Hey Ry-bread!” “Hey, Drew… a blank.”
- “You see what Drew does to me, Ryan? I’m so emasculated I can’t even raise a fence post for stupid ol’Bear.”
- “But Drew sex-punching Jenna for hours on end? You can live with that?”
- “What’s the one thing Jenna hates about Drew?” “Vaginal tearing from his huge cock.”
- “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go tear a new asshole in the back of Bear’s neck.”
- “I will never understand humans. This is the reason why we will ultimately defeat you.” (Dun dun DUN! This one feels ominous…)
- “I still can’t believe you bopped me on the nose with a newspaper. BOPPED, Ryan!”
So what did you think? Do you think the storytelling shift was a good or bad thing? I’d love to heard your thoughts!