True Blood. I can put up with a lot, but fuck with my face and it’s time to die!

Alright, guys–not a super thrilling episode, even though there were some great moments.  It was more an exposition type of episode, so I’m not going to spend a ton of time on this one, and save up my juice for next week.  Oh, and I missed the first few minutes, and I find that I really need my theme song fix to get in the mood.  God, best theme song EVER.  But it sounds like all I really missed was Tommy killing his parents, and so basically, whatevs, y’all.

I did, however, make it in time to see Terry and Arlene decide to get an exorcism for their house, since Terry temporarily convinced Arlene that they have a poltergeist.  And I would like to state for the record that if this is how all exorcisms go, I NEED TO GET ME ONE OF THOSE.  Hilarious.  And so awkward.  I was not so excited to see Lettie Mae again, but I did enjoy Arlene saying “you people”, the horrifyingly cheerful singing, and Terry’s amazingly badass jacket.  I want to buy Billy one.  Glorious.  Sadly, I also saw them fucking in front of Devil Baby, and I’m on Devil Baby’s side here–if my parents were fucking in front of me, burning down the house would be on the softer end of the Spectrum of Consequences™.  Team Devil Baby.

In other Characters Who Are More Minor Than I Wish They Were news, Lafayette’s hair actually managed to look more terrible this time.  Um … Kris Kross called.  And yet … my lady boner continues for Lafayette, unlike most of the other dudes on the show at this point.  Is anyone else kind of ready to kill Jesus now?  I mean, not the real Jesus–Boyfriend Jesus.  Don’t want to get struck by lightning.

OH!  And speaking of Jesus … when he started talking about how his grandpa, and how on his ninth birthday, his grandpa was like, come out here, I’ve got a present for you!  Did anyone else think his grandpa was going to whip out his dick?  Because for real!  I thought we might actually see our first wiener on this show, and if it is anyone’s grandpa’s … I’m gonna be pissed.

Oh, what else?  Well, let’s just go on with characters I wish were dead.  I was hoping that Alligator Tommy was going to eat Andy Bellefleur, because I am totally over him.  And fucking Tara, man.  She comes over to Sookie’s house, eats all her damn ice cream, throws a hissy fit and bails.  I wish this was her final farewell, but I’m sure she’ll be back to bore me/cry another day.  Sigh.

That reminds me … my friend Kyle correctly pointed out that now that Tommy killed his family members, he’ll be able to be a skinwalker.  I’m thinking somebody’s gonna be donning Maxine Fortenberry’s hefty meatsuit any day now.  How Norman Bates, right?

And the only other real minor news was Portia coming over and trying to convince Bill that fucking your descendant is an awesome idea and totally cool, but he shut her down with some glamouring.  And Bill was a real glamour machine this week, also ascertaining that Denim Jumper really doesn’t know how to reverse her Eric and Pam spells.

No, I lied.  One more.  Alcide got a visit from the Shreveport packleader, who is mad that Alcide is a lone wolf (hardy har).  Alcide made him leave, and I’m sure we’ll never see or here from him again, and everything is totally fine.

Now for the Oh, Shit! moments.  Well, sort of.  Sookie is actually falling for Eric.  Not so much Oh, Shit! as … awwwwww.  How adorable.  Godric had a totally weird cameo, and Eric discovered that he’s usually a devious asshole who has caused Sookie a lot of grief, and Sookie’s dead grandmother told her not to fall in love with Eric, but in between all that, there was a lot of cute and sweetness.

Oh, Shit! moment number two?  Pam spilling the beans on where Eric is hiding out.  Say it with me!  OH SHIT!

But the number one Oh, Shit! moment?  The one that made my entire True Blood party make the same horrified noise at the same time?  That would be the Jason dream, where suddenly, he was fucking Hoyt!  WHAT!  Actually, that was probably more of an OMFG moment, in actuality.  Amazing.  SO WEIRD.  I can’t even handle it.

Alright, that’s it for me.  Like I said, not the most thrilling hour of my life, but I expect next week will deliver the goods.  What did you guys think?  Favorite moments?  Hilarious lines?  Do you think alligators really do like marshmallows?  Comment time!

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  • Randi

    I loved all the Eric moments but I keep finding myself waiting as the scenes change to see if he’s in them. I honestly hate when it is daylight because that means we’ll be dealing with most of the people I don’t care about at this point.

    But speaking of daylight, they have managed to give Anna Paquin this amazing daylight glow. I wish I could look like sunshine like that.

    It was good to see Jason healed. The poor guy had been a mess for awhile. And can we please get rid of Tara for good? Can Franklin come back and rip her throat out for the greater good please?

    Pam telling is going to make for a good Beel & Eric showdown. Hopefully that will be when one of the main characters shows their wiener (or wieners). Remember the orgy stuff in season 2? Those had some flapping of wieners for a bit but no one that anyone wanted to look at.

  • Anonymous

    The exorcism scene was awesome! I wasn’t too thrilled to see Lettie Mae again, but the fact that her crazy hasn’t disappeared, but has only been refocused brings me joy. Also, the fact that the last line about the demon going out the door neither rhymed nor fit in with the rhythm really added to the whole “this isn’t going to work at all, is it?” vibe. (Sorry, nerd-alert). Also sex in front of Devil Baby? Bad form, Tarlene. I’d set the house on fire too. FYEAH, Team Devil Baby!

    Also, I kind of loved Jason’s weird Jessica/Hoyt sex dream. It made me super uncomfortable, and included images I won’t soon be able to un-sear from my brain fibers, but I kind of love that about it. You know what, I just really love when this show takes us to greater fucked-up heights. It really does make me happy. Is that weird? 

    And Eric and Sookie? D’awwwwww. That’s all I can say. Crying? Cuddling? Hugsies? KISSING?! MORE PLEASE. THANK YOU.

  • http://twitter.com/Strunkette Ann Strunk

    I loved Devil Baby’s newsboy cap! 

    I fast forward through anything having to do with Sam and his brother.  No thank you.

  • http://twitter.com/TONicole Nicole

    This entire episode was all about the Jason dream for me.  That was a lot of hotness!!  And weirdness, but mostly hotness!  Have we established yet that Jason is not going to be a werepanther?  Is that still a danger?  I know that there was mention of the full moon, but then it was forgotten.  Please don’t be a werepanther, please don’t be a werepanther….

    I don’t know if it’s because I’m not one of the book-readers, but personally I am almost bored by the Eric/Sookie stuff.  I know, I know – I can’t explain it either.  But I have definitely learned that while nice Eric is endearing, he is also completely forgettable for me.  Maybe when it really gets going I’ll be more into it…

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