Guest judge for the night is a 16 year old doctor named Doogie Howser. I doubt that is his real name. Seriously, who names their kid Doogie? He is currently tied as my favorite judge this season along with Tammy 2 (Megan Mullally).

Bonus good news: As of the writing of this post, all the performances are on YouTube! Maybe Fox is doing a better job of getting music that is licensed for YouTube. That would be nice.

Marko and all-star Chelsea – The wife summed it up well: “Who is the all-star?” Doogie says that Marko is the guy to beat and I fully agree. They did cake the makeup on since he got pretty much pounded in the face by Chelsea’s knees in rehearsal, but you wouldn’t have known it from the performance. They pulled it off effortlessly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdGaTo1ucig

Jordan and all-star Brandon – This was a good performance but there were some points at which you could definitely tell Jordan was NOT the all-star, unlike Marko’s performance. Alright, now for a little rant: What the fuck is up with the contemporary dance jeans? They are like skinny jeans with big poofy butts. They look like apple-bottom hipster pants. They weird me out.

Tadd and all-star Comfort – I don’t know what happened here. Tadd’s breaking is pretty much awesome but wow, that choreographed hiphop was a train wreck. Then it seemed like the judges were saying, “That was great!” but their faces were showing that they weren’t really into it. I didn’t remember this, but the wife said that Nigel was never a fan of Comfort when she was on the show so maybe that spilled over made him think Tadd did better than he really did because of downplaying Comfort. I don’t know either way.

Mitchell and all-star some chick from season one – Well, Mitchell got the kiss of death: A Tyce broadway number. Barf. I actually stopped watching half way through the routine, so unless the second half was choreographed by Nappy Tabs, Mitchell is screwed.

Caitlynn and all-star Pasha – Amazing lifts, super crisp kicks, and Mary crying. This one had it all. According to the wife though, not enough shirtless Pasha. Stay tuned.

Sasha and all-star Twitch – Holy shit! What is this? A Christopher Scott routine that I liked? No, a Christopher Scott routine that I loved. Nigel gets line of the night in response to Cat asking if his Corn Flakes were soggy: “They were after that routine!”

Yes, I think so, Creepy Uncle Nigel.

Jess and all-star Katherine – Well folks, this should finally be the week that we can dump Robert DeNiro-face. My guess is that Jess has to have hernia surgery after all the straining he did on every single lift. Unless he has some huge following that I am unaware of, he is going home this week.

Melanie and all-star Pasha – I felt the rehearsal stuff was really misleading since it sounded like Melanie was going to be the lead during the dance. I was pleasantly surprised that they really danced a great waltz. Melanie continues to impress week after week. I wasn’t all that into her solo though.

Ricky and all-star Allison – Well, that was dark and creepy. Nigel liked it because it was not broadway, despite being Tyce. I’m not sure who gets the compliment in that prior sentence. Doogie liked it because Ricky danced bigger than his waifish self. That was probably the best I’ve like Ricky all season, but I wonder how much of that is the “Ryan-free” effect?

Clarice and all-star Robert – Both Clarice and Robert both have the look for Bollywood and it was probably right with the tango for most exciting dance of the night.

Also, did you check out Robert’s arms? I’m pretty sure he used this to decorate his arms:

The best solos of the night were easily Marko and Clarice. And apparently pirouettes are the cool new thing for guys to do.

According to the crystal ball, the bottom three are Mitchell, Jess, and Ricky. It would be pretty tough to argue with those picks.

So what did you think of the all-stars last night? Did they live up to your expectations? And the dancers? Could they hang with the all-stars? Any feelings on apple-bottom hipster pants or shirtless Pasha? Let me know in the new and improved comments.