Last week James Durbin went home.  Everyone was shocked as always.  I was pleasantly surprised he went home.  It’s no secret I wasn’t his biggest fan.  The show may lack something without him, but thankfully we only have two weeks left!  I think the producers are really happy with the final three.  No matter what, the winner will be a youngster.  For one, they validate their 15 year minimum age requirement drop this year and two, they have a better shot of making them into a pop and/or country star.

It’s Going Home week y’all!!  Time for kissing the ground and screaming crowds!  I’m pretty sure I’ll be fast forwarding through most of it.

I haven’t been commenting on the outfits much because there really hasn’t been anything too cracktastic … until tonight.  We have Bill Cosby, a geriatric cougar wearing a blazer and J. Lo’s hair.  Is it a fauxhawk? An homage to Gwen Stefani in the early No Doubt years? Whatever it is, it is wrong on so many levels.  Yikes!

How cute was that video of Beyonce as a tyke?  She had the diva attitude even then.  I fast forwarded through her mentoring of the kids.  It’s just too much for me.

Round One: Contestants pick

Scotty: So I have a little story.  I love karaoke and sing whenever I can.  Usually my parents come because they love to hear me sing and they love drinking beer.  Win, win, wouldn’t you say?  Unfortunately there this horrible woman who’s complete tone deaf that loves to sing.  My dad literally sits there with his fingers in his ears.  Anyway, Amazed is one of her songs.  One of the many “usually sung by men” songs.  I use to love Amazed and she has ruined it for me.  That said, Scotty did a really good job if you were playing solitaire or Angry Birds at the time.  If you were watching the performance, you might not have been quite as impressed.  He was back to his smarmy ways.  Leaning on the piano, smirking, plus he had his eyes closed half of the song.  I was really proud of him when he hit those high notes.  He has certainly grown vocally over the course of the competition.

Lauren:  Who is dressing this girl?  They obviously don’t know what to do with a full figure frame.  That shirt made her look horribly hippy.  She’s a beautiful girl and every week they pick halter top stuff that just doesn’t work.  Where is Tim Gunn when you need him?  Great ring though.  I will give them that.  Good song, but fairly generic country tune.  I wanted her to kill it.

Haley:  They lost their rocker last week so we get Haley accompanied by multiple guitars.  One of which was her dad.  OK, so it melted my cold, bitchy heart a little.  It doesn’t change the fact that she tried to rock it but just ends up falling on her face … literally.  Major props for the recovery.  She popped right back up and kept on singing, barely missing a note.  She had some really off key notes in the beginning and there was a lot of yelling, so I wasn’t THAT into it. The judges give her a standing ovation, I think in part for the fall.

Round Two: Jimmy’s pick

Scotty:  Awww, Scotty is singing my brother and sister-in-law’s first dance song.  He always seems to do better with a guitar in front of him.  Not that he was much more than strumming one note, but it looked good.  It wasn’t his best vocal performance, but his showmanship made up for a lot.  Randy proclaims Scotty is “in it to win it” and we see a little of Ryan’s old banter usually reserved for Simon with Randy.  It’s only taken them a season to get there.

Lauren:  Poor girl then gets an up-skirt shot because her panty hose ripped.  Her dress is super cute and does everything her other outfit didn’t do for her.  Jimmy is obviously picking current hits to see if they have the chops to have a hit on the charts.  The original is more breathy and ethereal.  I actually like Lauren’s take.  She had a little misstep when he didn’t change keys, but she recovered quickly and didn’t panic.  It is the true sign of a great performer.

Haley:  Haley’s audition just reminded me why I don’t like her now.  Too many runs and random notes.  Huh, Jimmy throws me a curve ball by picking Rihannon.  Not the song choice so much but that it’s not a modern hit.  He obviously wanted something that would make her song good.  Is this the first time they’ve brought out the wind machine?  The production value on her song seemed to be ten times the other two.  Wanna guess who is Jimmy Iovine’s favorite?  All it needed was a full gospel choir.

Round Three:  Judge’s pick

Scotty:  Love the piano player’s hat.  I couldn’t really hear the song because my husband was singing along which means it had to have come out before 1980.  He pretty much listens exclusively to old country.  Someone’s going to have to tell me if it sounded good or not.  I’m guessing I didn’t miss much.  It seemed like more of the same.

Lauren:  Immediately after hearing the judge’s pick for her, I thought great song choice.  She did a fantastic job.  The changes she made and chances she took were unique.  LOVED that last little trill at the end.

Haley:  Oh, no.  “You Oughta Know” is my absolutely favorite song to sing; in the car, in my bedroom, at karaoke, everywhere.  Needless to say, I was expecting a lot.  It was OK.  As Steven said, she nailed the choruses–not really but I’ll go with it, but the verses were not good.  I’m proud of J. Lo for not just telling her she was great like the guys.  Plus it was super awkward watching her sing about scratching her nail down someone’s back to Randy.  Creepy.

I don’t know about you guys but I was pretty underwhelmed.  In years past there was always someone that had a killer song/performance.  The one who came the closest was Lauren on “I Hope You Dance.”

I’m hoping for a Lauren/Haley finale if for nothing else than the knowledge that a girl will finally win.  It’s about time a girl gets showered with confetti and has to release the awful original song.

This thing is probably riddled with grammatical errors and plot holes, but I’m too tired to read it over again.  Let me know how horrible I did in the COMMENTS!  (SB’s note: You can also let Strunkette know how awesome she did in the comments!  She’s pulling double duty on Idol and The Voice and kickin’ total ass–show the OCTV love, y’all!)