Hi all.  To quote the wise sage Tina Fey in her celebrated memoir ‘Bossypants’, I’m the worst.  Massive apologies to everyone for this being so late, but because last Thursday was a momentous night on The Office, and I had written half of this last Friday, I didn’t want to not post it.  This past week is kind of an annual crazy time for me, because it’s the birthdays of my father and three friends, one right after another.  Plus, with the royal wedding and then the news of Bin Laden and all (America, Fuck Yeah!), you can imagine how busy I’ve been (actually, it’s been more of a ‘work is crazy this week’ situation, but global news items seemed more topical and interesting).  However, I’m here now, I’ve watched all the shows, cried surprisingly few tears, and am ready to get into it.  Think of this more as a primer for tonight than a review of last week if that helps.  And just think – TWO NBC posts in two days!!  What could be better??!!?? (A lot – a lot could be better, but we play the hands we’re dealt, right?) 

Community

So Shirley had her baby.  And the baby belongs to Theo Huxtable (we know, because it was wearing a really loud sweater and eating a Jello pudding pop on its way out, and also – no Chang baby tail).  I’ve never been big on episodes where a main character or two has to deliver a baby in an elevator or whatever.  And there are a surprisingly huge number of them.  However, I did mine this cliché for jokes when my best friend was super pregnant.  Every time we’d get into a crowded elevator, I’d start asking her about her contractions just to freak out the other passengers.  Although I think the fact that she was rolling her eyes at me probably tipped them off that we were not in an emergency situation.  She’s no fun.  She also refuses to use fake accents with strangers for no reason.  I don’t know what I even have in common with that weirdo. 

So anyway, the birth thing had funny moments, and was sweet and all, but really this episode, for me, was all about Dean Pelton.  I love the dean like the dean loves Jeff Winger (okay, maybe not THAT much) and he had a hilarious night and really got to take center stage for a lot of the episode.  All that, plus the return of shitfaced John Oliver.  All in all, a really solid episode.  

Below the quotes, I’ve embedded a fan video that I came across on another blog, and I loved it so much I had to share it.  I was a HUGE fan of the movie (500) Days of Summer, and this is basically a reworked trailer featuring Jeff and Britta.  It’s really cute and really well done – to be clear, I’m not endorsing the shipping aspect of it at all; it’s just a really enjoyable video.  I figured since the creators of Community seem to embrace fanvids wholeheartedly, so should we.

A crapload more stuff after the jump, you guys:

• And that…is what Jews do at weddings.  Anthropology!
• There are food trucks with 18 different nationalities of food.  You know what?  Not different, equal.  Equal to whites.
• Even if that were true, that’s not something a woman does on her child’s head.
• First of all, together my cats can do anything.
• We came so close to having one class that wasn’t all about them.
• You ever try Googling me?  Can’t be done. 
• Make your money, whore.
• Race kerfuffle.

(500) Days of Britta:

The Office

I initially watched this episode days ago now, and I still can’t wrap my head around how I feel about it.  I think, for the most part, I really liked it.  While at first I was kind of left wondering ‘that’s it?’, I’ve come to appreciate the subtlety with which The Office let its central (and least subtle) character go.  Honestly, I think my biggest disappointment was not getting to see the sure to be shit-tastic party that the newly reconvened Party Planning Committee was going to throw. 

Before we get to the sad, let’s take a minute to appreciate the funny.  Andy and I had the exact same look of nauseated horror when Deangelo nearly threw down that dog like he just scored a touchdown in the animal shelter.  I also loved Pam pretending to price shredders so she could catch a matinee of Firthy goodness.  Who hasn’t at least extended out of office meeting time to run a few errands or grab a coffee?  Also, Andy’s pants were INSANE in a good way.  Who else could get away with what were basically fuchsia Dockers?  Andy Bernard, that’s who. 

Okay, on to the sadness:  I did really like Michael making an effort to have a special moment with everyone on his secret last day.  Just watching Michael avoiding his goodbye with Jim was pretty heartbreaking.  I loved that he got in one last game of paintball with Dwight (and left a fantastic letter of recommendation), and gave some advice to Erin – these two are truly his protégées, and you know he’s going to miss that role.  It will probably be a while before someone new looks to him for leadership. 

Now, Jim.  Oh my god, that was such amazing, classic Michael and Jim goodness right there.  Because he’s been a little less of the main focus this season, I sometimes forget how incredibly well John Krasinski can emote, but the SECOND he tears up, I tear up, every time.  He’s so great.  Pair him up for a heartwarming chat with Michael, his last one at that, and I’m a goner.  I wasn’t out and out sobbing, but there were tears and they did reach my cheeks. 

And then, the last, perfect send off with Pam – this show uses silence really effectively and I loved that she somehow got past security (did she buy a ticket?) and, shoes in hand, got to say goodbye to her friend.  They have been through a lot together, not all good, but dammit, they love and respect each other and I’m glad there was closure there.  But equally important was her recap of the conversation which was nothing special, just typical Michael stuff, which just made sense.
Oh!  And his silent, non-miked “That’s what she said” before Pam caught up to him was also a nice touch.  All in all, it was a really touching sendoff for a character that has played THE central role in this show we’ve all watched for so many years.  I assume you all feel like I do – as much as Michael has bothered us and pissed us off over the years, he’s also been a source of joy and laughter, and we’re all going to miss him. 

Oh, and the last scene with Deangelo and the cake?  Loved it.  Yes, it was off the wall, but the rest of the episode was pretty sedate, so I thought it balanced well.  Plus, we all know that Ferrell isn’t staying on permanently, so he might as well be a narcissistic, cake-addicted freak, right?     

• After what you did, you expect to be butled?
• You don’t want to get on my bad side; I’ve seen some horrible things.  I own over 200 horror movies.  (Are we betting on whether Gabe is the real Scranton Strangler?  Because that would be awesome.)
• You should never settle for who you are.   
• I can’t do this.  All the channels are going to be different there; I’m not going to be able to find my shows.
• See?  This is what happens.  You can’t let a stray dog into the house.
• A little cover up on your Adam’s apple will make it look smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.
• I ruv you aur.
• Hey will you guys let me know if this ever airs? (It’s about time someone asked that question)
• I had cake for lunch.
• Uh-oh.

Promo for the rest of the season:

Parks and Recreation. 

God, this show.  This show is my lobster you guys.  I am so completely in love with it that I want to found the town of Pawnee, Indiana and move there and work as a mid-level government employee and I will TOTALLY be Ben’s roomie so he can get away from ‘cute’ Andy and April and their eating chili off of Frisbees and sharing of forks.  I would be Ben’s roomie SO HARD.  Ahem…sorry for the tangent – I’ll try to reel myself in.

So, Leslie as a lady centaur was the best, right?  Or was Tom as a fat baby the best?  I’m going with Leslie, because I loved how seeing herself that way permeated her personality for the rest of the episode.  Finally, Jerry’s stupid lame artistic talent has a purpose! (Also, is he one of those rare speed painters?  Because how the hell did he do the Centaur Tom painting in what seemed like about ten minutes?  He is clearly a mystical creature.)  

We got a Ron Swanson speech about art (“These are paintings.  People did them, and now they are here.”), an appearance of ‘Ya Heard, With Perd’, marshmallow shooters (are those real?  Because I want one) and so much other awesomeness.  

First of all, Ben lives with Andy and April now!  This is a great development and I look forward to the many months of joy it is sure to bring.  Also, I try…you guys.  I try to resist getting all squeeish over tv couples because it’s gross and it repulses me normally, but I can’t help it with Ben and Leslie.  They are so goddam cute together and I love that they totally know they like each other and are aware that if not for Chris’s stupid rule they’d have seen each other sans pants by now.  I mean, did you see Ben go in for several glances at the topless Leslie painting?  He’s not fooling anyone.  Damn Chris and his chipper totalitarianism. 

April and Andy at Bed, Bath & Beyond was awesome too – I am so much like them but a little better at forcing maturity on myself when necessary.  Their reaction to the As Seen On TV stuff was spot on ‘me’ though.  I mean, a SHAKE WEIGHT for god’s sake!    

• ‘Four stars!’, says nobody.
• If you ever watch sad movies you have to wear mascara so we can see if you’ve been crying.
• “Are you guys…frying marbles?”  “We were checking to see if the fire alarm worked.”
• That’s what you see when you close your eyes at night, Jerry.  Topless Leslie, glued to a horse.
• What CAN’T that centaur woman do, besides ride an escalator and drive a car?
• Leslie, for our viewers at home who may not know, are centaurs real?
• “You separate your lights from your darks.”  “That’s racist.”
• But if you think I’m not going to also get that marshmallow shooter so I can shoot you in the face with marshmallows while you’re sleeping, then you’re the dumbest woman I know.
• “Yeah, where’s your penis?”  “Dammit Jerry!”

30 Rock

Again, so much quote-y goodness, so little plot to dissect.  This show is so much fun always, but doesn’t always feel like something you can really discuss, you know?  Basically, Liz decided to get her shit together and it went perfectly (no it didn’t).  And Tracy doesn’t like being on the outside of an inside joke.  Oh, and Avery has been taken hostage by Kim Jong Il and is being forced to do the news in North Korea, obviously (who didn’t see THAT coming?  Lame.).  Below are some quotes; people said them, and now they are here:

• I found Tracy, I saved the show, I always think of a third thing when I’m listing stuff.
• ‘Lizbeanism’ means that I am a dyke…against the rising waters of mediocrity.
• “J Mo – how long would it take for your hair to grow back?”  “It depends; do you have access to horse semen?”
• I will tase you.  I’ve got OCD and I love paperwork.
• Nobody here has ever seen an iPhone; I told them it was my razor.  I have to shave my legs with it, but they’ve got an app for that. 

So…I know you guys are itching to talk about these shows that you watched last week, so here is your opportunity!  But in all seriousness, this is the place to share your feelings about Michael Scott’s last day – what did you think?  Were you expecting more?  Was it just right?  Who are you hoping fills his shoes on a permanent basis?  I’d personally love to see someone promoted from within and I’m still hoping for Darryl.  I think he’d be a total contrast to Michael and it could be a very interesting shift in dynamic for the show.  I’m looking forward to all the surprise guest stars, but it just seems like it should be someone we already know, doesn’t it?  Also, am I a freak for loving Ben and Leslie so much?  Please don’t make me the lone sad person who cares about this, guys.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.