The Pritchetts and the Dunphys celebrated Valentine’s Day again, and for Claire and Phil, that meant a return of Clive Bixby, Phil’s turtleneck-wearing speaker salesman alter ego. I’m not going to lie – last year’s Clive and Julianna story was much funnier than this year’s, but there were still some laughs to be had. Cam and Mitchell spent the episode in a battle of the egos trying to figure out who Mitchell’s assistant was crushing on. Jay and Gloria both tried to win the holiday, and Gloria came out on top because while Jay is romantic, she’s smarter than him, and that’s what matters. Lastly, Manny ate up all of Luke’s screentime trying to woo his step-niece Haley, but it was all for naught because in the best part of the episode, Dylan returned with a grandiose street performance of an original song imploring Haley to “picture me naked”. Dylan is pretty much the emo teenage version of Luke, so of course I’m happy to see him back in the picture.
Some of my favorite quotes from the episode:
- “You know I can’t stand it when you use that word.” “Sorry, she lost her underpanties.”
- We walk through the door and BAM! She looks like a big idiot, and isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?
- Gasp. I’m shocked.
- Does that man have red hair and a beard? No, but his boyfriend does.
- Oh, pretty and smart. Or should I say, pretty smart.
- Did you see the hands on our waiter? He looked like he’d been birthing hogs.
- An angel from heaven saved the night. A big, gay angel.
- I’m the second wife Jay. Why do you treat me like I’m the first?
- “You can’t win Valentine’s Day.” “Shut up, I win.”
- I haven’t been single since I was nine.
What did you guys think of Clive and Juilanna 2.0? Are you excited Dylan’s back? Do you hate the word panties as much as Claire does? (I do – it’s right up there with moist and lover in terms of words that skeeve me out) What were your favorite moments? Hit the comments!