Last night was a pretty entertaining evening for the NBC comedies.  Avery forced Liz and Jack to define their relationship and set some boundaries.  Jim and Pam had a hipster christening for CeeCee where Jim temporarily lost the baby, Michael temporarily lost his mind (again) and Toby had a crisis of faith.  On Community, Troy and Jeff found a secret trampoline paradise while Abed became Greendale’s Queen Mean Girl until Hilary Duff shut him down.  Click the jump for some of the night’s best lines:

30 Rock

• I’m looking for D.I.H.C. Avery, and I’m going to take it wherever I can get it.           
• I’m not done with him Jacob!  He stays on this side!
• Telephone etiquette is important, Liz.  It let’s people know your race even though they can’t see you.
• It must be my sesuality, because I am so very sesual.
• I’m Jenna Maroni.  I played Arts & Literature in the film adaptation of Trivial Pursuit.
• Ambition is the willingness to kill things you love and eat them to stay alive.  Haven’t you ever read my throw pillow?
• What’s wrong, Tre?  Why are you sitting in your sadness spotlight?
• “Liz Lemon, you mind if I google myself in your office?”  “Sure Tracy.”  “Can I use your computer?”  “How else are you going to do it?”
• I’m Tracy Jordan.  When I go to sleep, nothing happens in the world.
• Maybe my kids would stop calling me a bald wang in front of the babysitter.
• Lemon is above average.  She’s got just the right amount of D.I.H.C. for me.  I hear it, and I don’t care. 
• Hey are you Jack? BT Dubs, I gotta leave for my ironic kickball league in about ten.
• “Work husband-slash-uncle.”  “Co-worker-slash-little brother.”
• Joanne?  Okay, well I look forward to visiting her and her wife, on their farm. (I have an aunt Joanne, and aside from the lesbianism, this descriptor is true, yo)
• Every Tina I’ve known is a real judgmental bitch.

The Office

• Your momma has more bacteria per square inch than a toilet seat.
• A little precious bundle of god’s best everything!
• I hope you brought your pipes; we’re about to smoke the opium of the masses.
• I don’t even know how to say this, but little CeeCee is turning out to be a real b-i-t-c-h.
• Observation:  CeeCee was baptized in an Arcade Fire t-shirt, so she’ll never not be cool.
• For all their generosity of spirit, they password-protect the wi-fi?
• Jesus is not your caterer.
• What if the moon was your car, and Jupiter was your hairbrush? (This line and delivery is still making me laugh today)
• We are hanging out, right now.  You want some more of this?
• Everybody thinks that I am crazy, and that tells me that I’m the sanest person that I know.
• Look at these scones; thousands of them!  What kind of person steals scones from a baby?
• Why you always gotta be so mean to me?
• “Get in, quick.”  “Why quick?”  “So it’s faster.”
• It is so nice to be back in a country that has movies.

Community

• Why name your daughter Meghan?  Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?
• If we say nobody are you going to stab us with your bush scissors?
• First, for this place to stay sacred it must remain secret.  Second, no double bouncies.
• My biggest laugh in the episode was the little exchange between Jeff and Troy after Jeff had his turn on the trampoline and he thought he had been jumping for a couple of minutes but he’d really been up there for an hour.  Donald Glover’s facial expressions are pure fucking gold. 
• You look like you’re smuggling a lime and a coconut.
• Not a quote, but if you freeze-framed Abed’s Robocop screen, you’d learn that he uses it to project the girl’s menstrual cycles, remind himself of Troy’s upcoming birthday and to record Cougar Town, and  also provide a helpful synopsis of the current episode, which updated itself the more Abed became aware of what was going on.  It’s these little details that make me love the Community folks so much.
• I’m gonna slit your butt’s throats.
• They’re like wearing a pair of dreams.
• 2008 called to say that even in 2008 those were tacky.
• God as my witness, I will tweet it!
• Nice; who taught you how to be a juicebox?
• Omigod.  Joshua was racist.  That came out of nowhere.
• It’s like your mom was a lizard who got raped by a muppet.
• Even Tom Cruise knows he’s short and nuts.

Outsourced.

Inanimate objects on Parks & Rec that are better than everything about this show: 

• DJ Roomba
• Ron’s office portrait of breakfast
• The pit
• Leslie Knope’s pantsuits
• Duke Silver’s saxaphone
• The Bulge (Pawnee’s premiere gay bar)
• Andy’s shoe shine stand
• Jerry’s buttcrack

So those are most of my favorite moments/lines from last night.  I was entertained and happy with all three shows, though I was annoyed once more by Michael Scott’s self-delusion.  Surprisingly, it didn’t bother me so much when Andy wanted to jump on the bus (at least he had a reason – he wanted to impress Erin), but I’ve come to the point where I sort of roll my eyes when Michael gets super crazy.  I like his incompetence, but there is a line between buffoonery and needing medication to prevent harm to himself and others, and sometimes (too often) they cross that line with him.  The first time I remember having this reaction was the scene where he drove the rental car into a lake because the GPS told him to, which was probably a few seasons back now.  It’s too much – maybe it’s just me; what do you guys think?

I know I mentioned this last week, but Chevy Chase is still annoying as hell on Community.  I know he’s supposed to be, but I just don’t find his character funny in general.  I wouldn’t miss him if he was gone (although I did miss the Dean – he was noticeably absent last night and he’s become a favorite of mine).  Hilary Duff did a nice job in her brief scenes; she wasn’t in it much, but she was enjoyable. 

So tell me; what did you think of the episodes?  Who’s DYING for Parks & Rec to return?  If you could make your ideal NBC Comedy Thursday schedule, what would it look like?  Talk to me in the comments!