NBC is kind of silly so instead of airing last week’s disaster preparedness episode back-to-back with the wedding up they split them up and we got the wedding ep and a random episode. I’ll recap them both here and put a little break in to delineate the different eps, but they’ll share a Notable & Quotable section, capisce? Alright, get ready for a doozy of a post.
Before this episode even aired I said that I wasn’t emotionally prepared for it. I was right. It was just so perfect. Ben springs it on Leslie that he really wants her to take his name. He says it’s kind of a dealbreaker. But in his reaction shot you can tell that he’s totally teasing her and omg my precious bebes. I love you so.
They’re all scrambling to get everything ready for the wedding in an hour instead of the three months they originally had allotted. Ann’s in charge of the cake and the The Dress/Hair/Makeup for which Leslie wants “the sensuality of Eleanor Roosevelt combined with the animal magnetism of Leslie Stahl.” The seamstress didn’t have time to finish Leslie’s dress, so Ann made it work by bustling together old documents and news articles about her career. In the front you can plainly see the headline “Knope Wins”.
April and Andy are in charge of the licenses. April’s stealing all of the wedding licenses in City Hall because she doesn’t want anyone else in Pawnee to get married. It will make it less special for her and Andy, duh. After obtaining the license, April and Andy go find Ethel Beavers to sign it and good lord she was on a date and he spent the night. April’s nonchalant reaction is why I love her. Also that she begs Ethel to be her and Andy’s adoptive grandmother.
Tom got ordained online but his certificate won’t show up for 24 hours. Good thing Jerry’s ordained and promises to do whatever Tom says. Jerry reading Tom’s lines was hilarious and just good acting.
Even though making the wedding work seems impossible, it starts to snow and Leslie sees Bucky the Li’l Sebastian impersonator and it’s a sign. Everything will be perfect. And it really seemed that would be the case until…
Councilman Jamm actually heckled her wedding. He boo-d her down the aisle. He then stink-bombed the wedding. I know he was drunk, but that was just terrible. Ron didn’t want Ben to get into a fight on his wedding day, so he stepped up and rabbit-punched Jamm in the face. Ron effing Swanson, people. You don’t mess with him or his friends.
And that was just so upsetting because I just want Ben and Leslie to have nice things and be happy always. Stupid Jamm. It’s fine because Ron’s the sweetest about his jailhouse apology. And Leslie: “I lost my father when I was ten, I never had any brothers, and Ken Burns never wrote me back. So I am not getting married without you there to walk me down the aisle.”
Ann suggests they just go back to the office to toast Pawnee Commons. Leslie agrees because there’s always work to be done, but I think we can all smell the surprise wedding. And when Leslie and Ron walk into City Hall together, I just want to yell “GET MARRIED IN FRONT OF THE WILDFLOWER MURAL!” (They didn’t, the ceremony was in the Parks Dept.) And you guys, I’m not ashamed to admit it – Ron Swanson made me cry. He was emoting! And Leslie affectionately called him Weirdo. And then Donna was singing! I cried. Like, a lot. I’m not even going to try and do that scene justice, but the combined Ben & Leslie montages with the wonderful vows and the “I love you and I like you”s and I’m just done.
Ben and Leslie are back from their Hawaiian honeymoon. They came bearing gifts and they accidentally bought pot for Ann. The dealer claimed it was fertility tea. There’s a great little subtle moment where April and Andy silently plan to get it out of the garbage later. April’s gift was throwing a box into a volcano. I love everything about April.
Leslie’s going to the Pawnee Correspondent’s Lunch, clearly mocking the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. (Which is awesome. Two years ago I went and lurked outside the hosting hotel and just did some celebrity sighting.) Apparently the Pawnee Sun headlines terrible stories about Leslie every day. The Pawnee Sun not only stole Leslie’s speech, but they’ve also hacked her email account and have been using the info it contains against her for months.
Ann really does want to ask Chris to be her sperm donor and she’s asking Ron for advice. At this point I’m surprised she hasn’t asked Ron. Also, that ficus metaphor was hilarious. Ron kind of strong-arms Ann into asking Chris and his reaction isn’t the worst.
Ben’s starting his job at Sweetums. It’s been awhile, but remember that he’s now running their charity. His office has more mahogany wood than currently remains in the Amazon rain forest. (And Panem. Amirite?) Tom, Andy, and April are ‘helping’. April wants Ben to pick Andy’s charity suggestion (music program for at-risk youth) to boost his confidence because Andy’s been super dejected because he failed the police academy exam. And in the end, Andy’s not terrible at this whole charity running thing. At Andy’s suggestion, Ben’s moving the charity to a smaller office and getting rid of the hoity-toity catering. And yay! Ben hires Andy.
Notable & Quotable
- Damn, Leslie’s red heels.
- April forges documents at City Hall all the time.
- Leslie’s adoration for Ben’s butt is one of my favorite things on this show and in life.
- Aw. Chris gave Ben the letter from the Statehouse telling them they were assigned to Pawnee.
- Jerry’s running “Indiana Celebrity Look-a-likes.” There’s even a Lil Sebastian look-a-like on the way. Jerry’s so excited he peed his pants a little bit.
- Aziz Ansari fucking loves Hitch. Like, to the point where he live-tweets it every time he finds it on TV. I’m so glad his character wanted to open Ben & Leslie’s wedding ceremony with a speech from that movie.
- Ann did a talking head and just said “Chris can be very paternal.” I bet he’s next in her sights as sperm donor.
- Everyone sang a rendition of Bye Bye Lttle Sebestian at the reception before passing out in Leslie’s office. I fell over laughing at that shot.
- Chris’ spirit animal is a jaguar.
- Leslie’s email history is hilarious. I hope there’s a smash cut somewhere in existence.
- Leslie used Midiclhorians to trap the Pawnee Sun for their email-hacking scam.
Ben: “The Falcon is entering!”
Leslie: “The Turtledove acknowledges.”
“We just ordered 200 white-chocolate top hats.” – Leslie
“There’s always time for the Tim Gunn voice. ‘Designers, make it work.'” – Leslie
“How did Cinderella finish her dress so quickly? Squirrels and birds. That’s not very helpful.” – Leslie
“Donna we got you coffee because you said you like your coffee like you like your men: Dark, rich, and full-bodied.” – Leslie
Ron: “They can’t hack into a typewriter, that’s all I have to say.”
Leslie: “Can it, Unabomber.”
So, to wrap-up, I’m in love with the wedding episode and would marry it if I could. The second episode was just okay. But two Parks episodes is always wonderful.