Mindy’s out on a morning date with Josh, from the VIP room at the club. But I have to ask – are morning dates really a thing? I mean, I understand why they’d happen for like, business, or something. But I am nowhere near looking or feeling my best at any hour between 5am and 10am. Anyway, he invites her to an ESPN office party which – TAKE ME THERE. But he warns her that they go all out, so she better dress to impress. Impress who, she asks. He rubs it in that he took a model last year (which, douchey much?). Mindy’s brilliant return was that she was featured in her college’s admissions brochure holding a test tube. Get it, girl!
She needs to think it over, so he lines up a back up. In front of her! He scrolls through his contacts (and makes sound effects, really annoying sound effects about how long it takes to scroll through the Caitlins – which, wouldn’t some of those be in the K’s? – because apparently that was a really popular name in 1987.) God, Mindy keeps ending up on dates with just the worst guys (obvious exception: Seth Meyers).
Oh, hey Bill Hader (or, in this show, Tom)! Mindy’s not rejoicing though, because he is her ex and she hasn’t seen him since his wedding. As soon as she sets eyes on him she totally pulls a Maggie-bashing-Jim-in-the-head-with-a-door a la The Newsroom and he bleeds. Copiously. She patches him up and tries to make amends for being drunk and ruining his wedding, but he doesn’t really want to hear it. But they remain fairly civil and she even asks him guy advice about Josh who is clearly a jerk.
Speaking of jerks… Mindy pulls up Tom’s facebook to show the Morgan the Nurse what he looks like. His cover photo has apparently been updated recently and is now a sonogram. Dick move, man. You just saw Mindy, you could have told her. In her hurt, Mindy agrees to go to the fancy party with Josh, despite her previous resolve to dump his jerk-face ass.
Mindy has her receptionists and her nurse helping her put together a Halloween costume for Josh’s party which results in a fashion show. I am in favor of a mandatory number of fashion shows per season. Mindy’s struggling to find a costume that shows she’s both sexy and funny. Some aborted costumes include a safari mail carrier; Tinker Bell Tailor Soldier Spy; Lil’ Wayne on the Prairie and Dirty Harry Potter (which I think Liz Lemon did better).
Josh kind of redeems himself at the end of the episode because he scoured the internet to find out Mindy’s favorite movie and then got a costume from it.
Dr. British and Danny leave together to head out to Long Island for their driver’s tests. While Dr. British breezes out of the office, Danny very obviously lies about where he’s going. Word to the wise, Danny – make it short and sweet. No one really cares about why you’re not going to at work unless you’re on death’s door or going somewhere awesome and you’re calling to lure your favorite coworker to join you. The fewer details, the better. Like, “I can’t make it in, I came down with something last night.” It doesn’t matter that the “something” in question was alcohol poisoning. Danny, however, is sweating up a storm and just keeps piling on the details.
I have to say, I don’t think Halloween would be a good day for that test, what with all of the pedestrians, you know? That’s coming from a girl who managed to love-tap a car in the parking lot before my exam and STILL PASS. Of course Danny is a nervous wreck and almost hits a kid and swerves into some Halloween ghoul display. But Dr. British is charming and gets the tester to give Danny another shot by telling her that Danny can’t focus well during the exam becuase he was once molested in a car. A skeevy lie, but Danny finally passes.
Notable & Quotable
- The average New Yorker doesn’t get his driver’s license until he’s 26.
- Dr. British only wants to get his license so he doesn’t have to carry his passport with him to bars.
- Mindy’s never seen It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. She has to have a 6-year-old explain it to her.
- During her conversation with Bill Hader, he not only records the conversation in case she threatened him, he also has an orderly check up on them in case she tries to attack him. Harsh, dude.
- A stray cat wandered into Mindy’s apartment and she started petting it before she realized it wasn’t hers. Ha!
“It’s not a license to drive, it’s a license to be a man.” – Danny
“I’m like the cool, funny girl who kills it in bed.” – Mindy
“Meeting up at 8am on a weekday – for coffee – you’re afraid I’m going to attack you, aren’t you?” – Josh
“Danny, it’s not a Notary Republic because then it would be a country.” – Mindy
Mindy: “I like [Josh], I just don’t necessarily want to cuddle up with him and watch Breaking Bad.”
Tom: “Don’t say anything about Breaking Bad. I’m only on season 5.”
Mindy: “You are so weird about spoilers. You are obsessed with tv, why don’t you keep up with it in a timely way?”
“What I really need you to do is to take these scissors and cut cleavage holes in my crayon costume.” – Mindy
“You’ve got such passion. I can only imagine the vigor you apply between the sheets.” – Dr. British
Mindy: “Are you Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride?”
Josh: “Nope, I am an Enlightenment-era homosexual.”
I’m finally done! Hope y’all have a Happy Halloween! What was your costume? I was a Ninja Turtle (Michaelangelo). Enjoy your holiday, I’ll see you in November!