Well…I can’t say I was as “OMG I love every second of this episode” about ‘The Rager’ as I was about ‘Memorial’…still, I loved this episode.

I’m not sure where to start with this one so, perhaps, we should just jump right in?

• I keep seeing people complaining about the new opening but I don’t get it…I mean, usually I barely watch it, I’m just patiently waiting for the actual show to start…but, I think the new format gives a great overview of the basics that any newcomer would need to know along with actual clips of stuff that JUST happened during the previous episode. I like it.
• We open with Tyler pretending to sleep off his gunshot wound in the hospital and all I can think once he opens his eyes is that his crazy-eye look needs some work. He should talk to Season 2 Damon.
• I do NOT like this hunter guy at all. That needle to the gums thing…first of all, I couldn’t figure out WTF he was doing…second of all, totally uncalled for. I am terrified of needles. I didn’t need to see that. I have a dentist appointment on Monday. Those of you who follow me on Twitter know that this will be my 157^th dentist appointment since August…that’s only a slight exaggeration. I am not a fan of the dentist and Connor did nothing to help. I have no idea where I was going with this…just so you know.
• More Connor. #1 – he’s a gross eater. He did not need THAT big of a piece of apple in his face all at once. #2 – I’d hazard a guess that having a chemistry lab in an RV (was it an RV? whatever.) is a bit of a safety risk.
• It’s not only weird to me that while Elena’s snacking on Matt in their old makeout spot there’s absolutely NObody milling about the school yard or the parking lot in the background…right? I mean, I know school in Mystic Falls is a joke in and of itself but if they’re going to go through with keeping it as part of the set you’d think they’d at least make it at least a little realistic. They couldn’t find one extra who was available to play the part of “kid running from his car ‘cuz he’s late for class”?
• Also, why are they trusting the baby vamp with procuring her own snacks already with zero supervision? Why is nobody there just in case she decides to make Matt an all you can eat buffet?
• “Mandatory Curfew All Ages” – LOL x 1000!!!! Yeah. That’ll totally fix Mystic Falls.
• Klaus!!!!! Hello, handsome. Missed you! *smooches*
• I kinda love that Klaus is being forced into this role of protector (of sorts)…mainly because I don’t want him to go. Ever. He’s pretty and I like to listen to him talk.
• Jesus. They ARE carrying this school thing through, huh?!  They’re even in class. Alaric’s class. :(
• Dude. How the hell is the hunter wandering around the school, obviously asking a teacher-type where he could find Jeremy and then having said teacher-type point Jeremy out. No questions. Do you think she at least made Connor sign in as a guest at the office? I think the writers are just fucking with us…they do this stuff just so we’ll have stuff to snark about. That’s gotta be it.
• This ‘Rebekah sliding her finger in Elena’s mouth’ scene isn’t exactly how I imagined it would go in my head…not that I have…but if I were going to it probably wouldn’t be happening in a bathroom (maybe) but it definitely would’ve involved Damon too.
• Is Jeremy’s voice getting deeper? I feel dirty for even asking that. (note: admitting to the Damon/Elena/Rebekah visual did not make me feel dirty…that’s important.)
• This scene with the trailer (RV) in the woods is totally supposed to remind me of Brady…right? Which…you know, he totally deserved to get his heart ripped out for what he did to our precious Caroline…but still…Brady. “It’s gonna be a long night, sweetpea.” (when I hear that in my head I’m totally NOT thinking he’s talking about torture)
• LOL! Poor Damon…Connor is not playing around.
• Elena: “That’s how mad I am. She made me murderous.” Am I the only one having trouble believing Elena’s murderous face? She doesn’t seem that murderous.
• Stefan: “I feel like this day is severely lacking in fun.” Who pulled Stefan aside to teach him how pronounce those words?
• Okay. I love this Stefan/Caroline scene ‘cuz I love all that is Caroline. But, I only love this scene on the surface…especially when Care’s typical, delightful, perfect self, suggested Stefan “write a book” and “go on the View”…cute Care. Super cute.  However…they can’t seriously be having a conversation where Stef is discussing how Elena’s going through exactly what HE went through when he was a RIPPER…? And then continuing the convo, Stef’s wise words: “She needs to come to terms with it, confront it.” …really Stef? Is that what she needs to do? Look, I know in real life it’s been months since we saw Stefan tear people apart with no remorse…but how long has passed in Mystic Falls time? If you were in an alcoholic haze, I’d have to guess that you wouldn’t go to an AA meeting and ask for a sober coach who’s got 30 days under their belt…I’m not sure they’d be the best candidate to guide you along the right path. Ergo, this conversation is ridiculous.
• Faye!!! Phoebe Tonkin is gorgeous & I’m loving the vibe between Hayley & Tyler but WTF is up with her mouth when she’s talking? I can’t remember if she talked like that on Secret Circle too…is it her way of keeping her American Accent going? It’s irritating me.
• Awwww! I wasn’t sure I was going to like this whole Damon/Meredith friendship thing but I do. I think they’ll be good for each other…well she’ll be good for him anyway. I don’t know her well enough to know what’ll be good for her.  Damon needs some friends. (that’s a super sad/pathetic sentence)
• Meredith: “Why didn’t you call your brother?” Damon: “’Cuz I’m proud…and stubborn…and…oh look!! You’re already here!” LOL
• I love the casual way Damon flicks the piece of paper up to read while Meredith’s cutting the arrow out of his back and he’s gotta stay immobile lest he blows shit up but still it’s SO casual. Just another day…
• Okay. Come on. Again with big hunter dude wandering around the halls and manhandling the only student in the halls with NObody around to witness….no teacher? no hall monitor? no student escaping class with a  bathroom pass? Ugh. I wonder if that’s what went on in the halls at my school once the bell rang and the people scattered to classes…mind you, I went to an all girls’ school. Those bitches would’ve been thrilled to have Conner holding them up against a wall. Maybe not with the knife though…that’s taking it a touch too far.
• Elena digging through Damon’s shit and not even bothering to look guilty about it when he waltzes in and catches her is the best thing ever.
• Elena: “Yours is better than Stefan’s.” Damon: “Ohhh…” (translation: just wait until you find out just how true that statement is)
• I love that Jeremy went straight to Damon with the Connor trying to recruit him stuff…I was a little worried about Little Gilbert.
• Oh Tyler. Tangled webs & all that…Caroline is gonna be PISSED when she finds this shit out & I can’t wait. I love when Care gets all badass-y.
• Klaus to Hayley: “So, you’re a friend of Tyler’s” That’s strange, he’s never mentioned you.” (translation: Tyler and I were very close…you could say I was as far inside him as any man can be inside another man and that’s REALLY close…so, if you were important, you’d think he’d have mentioned you to me…what I think you should do is seduce the fuck out of him, remind him how close YOU were so that it destroys my Caroline & she falls directly into my arms for comfort…yeah? Run along, then.)
• OH NO!!! NOT THE DAYLIGHT RING!!! Bitch move, Bex…oh wait…daylight rings are the one thing that Bonnie REALLY has perfected. I’m sure it’ll take her 4.2 seconds to make another. You’ll be fine Elena.
• Also, where’s Stefan? And why didn’t Elena call to him for help? Do they forget they have vamp hearing?
• YESSSS!!!! I’m in love with Stefan right now…”go ahead, kill her, blah blah blah…EVERYBODY SHE EVER TURNED WILL DIE.”  Finally somebody else brings up my question from last season’s Sage debacle!!! When Finn asked Sage “How many people have you turned?” she answered, “I don’t know. A lot.” So here’s my question…taken directly as I typed it out on Twitter (to Cindy McLennan over at TWoP who added it to her recap) after the episode aired:
• What the hell is going on around the world right now as ALL of Sage’s baby vamps (she did tell Finn she’d created lots) are dropping dead wherever they are. Would that not create some major questions from law enforcement & the general public about what kind of “people” turn grey & ash-y immediately after dropping dead for no apparent reason? Or what kind of crazy health scare epidemic they need to be on the lookout for? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled Sage is no more…I’m just a little stressed about the random 11yr old in line with her mom at Target in Knoxville, buying her first training bra, watching the guy in front of them drop dead & getting all grey & veiny.
• I’d still really love an answer to this. Especially now that Stefan’s brought it up again…I need Julie Plec to explain it to me…please?
• Moving right along…
• One day I need Joseph Morgan to just call me ‘sweetheart’ or ‘love’ and then whisper “thick sexual tension” in my ear. Then I’d like to know where HIS imagination deviates. Jesus…what’s wrong with me tonight?
• I love this though…Tyler knows he’s fucked. Klaus is disgusted on Caroline’s behalf and I’m fairly certain he’ll have no problem using this information to benefit himself. Who wouldn’t. He’s just gotta be delicate about how he lets her know….otherwise she’ll resent him. More. We can’t have that.
• I totally love Damon’s non-reaction to Klaus answering Tyler’s phone as if it’s the obvious thing to happen.
• Is it wrong that I want Damon & Klaus to be new BFFs? (I can’t call them a ‘bromance’…that belongs to Alaric.)
• I don’t even want to comment on this whole motorcycle scene. Fuck. So bad. Really…can we forget this scene happened?  THAT was the best way the writers could think of for Elena to have “fun”??
• Okay!!! Nice. I never would’ve thought Stef had rough, dominant sex in him…and THEN!!!! Hi Damon!!! LOL!!!! It’s okay, Elena…we’ve all been there.
• Oh shit…the werewolf venom…I missed that altogether. I mean, I know he had it and now that I think back I remember him telling Jeremy  that as long as the vamp(s) at the party were drinking he had it covered…I just didn’t clue it that THAT’s what he meant. This can’t be any good.
• HOLY SHIT!!! I was just enjoying Matt (which is a weird statement for me) luring Rebekah into a false sense of happy security with his “I think you’re amazing…” and then SHE TOTALLY RIPS HIS HEART OUT!!!!  WTF Show!? Look, I never would’ve thought I’d have been upset about Matt getting his heart ripped out (sacrilegious, I know)…I may have even nervous laugh/squealed when it happened…but, when I saw it was just a dream/hallucination I was honestly a little relieved. Phew.
• Okay, yes. It’s confirmed. I love Klaus & Damon together. Not TOGETHER together…not that I wouldn’t support that if it went there…you know, just for curiousity’s sake…anyway. You know what I mean. I like them working the same angle…
• Klaus: “For future reference, one voicemail is just as effective as nine.” I’m in love with this!! Stefan is totally the naggy, needy, demanding bitch in the Klefan relationship! Go figure.
• Klaus to Elena: “What’s wrong, love?” (with a  brief moment of genuine concern). So, also confirmed, I totally DO need a British boyfriend to call me ‘love’.
• Klaus & Stefan are SO super passionate all up in each other’s’ faces right now…I totally see a reconciliation in their future. “You can’t have hate without love” and all that.
• WAIT!!!  Please tell me that Elena sucking on Klaus (‘s wrist) will mean she’ll be visualizing him everywhere too…??
• Jeremy: “See, I told ya I could be a badass!” Damon: “Shh…shh…badasses don’t say that.” Ha!
• Damon doesn’t really think Connor’s dead right?
• Blah, blah, Stef & Care, blah…I generally love the chemistry these guys have…this scene was just all kindsa meh for me…though I do love that Caroline told her she’d be there for him  & he could come to her whenever he wants. Super sweet.
• SEE!!! I told you that leaving Elena alone to snack wasn’t going to be any good for anybody…namely, Matt….but YAY Damon saving the day & YAY Damon’s gonna teach Elena how to vamp it up properly!!! ( I don’t know where ‘vamp it up’ came from…I’m sorry…it’s late & I’m tired.)
• SEE!!! (again!) Fucking Klaus…this is no way to make sure Damon trusts you so that you two can fulfil my fantasy of becoming BFFs & entertaining me with your tag team wit. charm & sarcasm!!

Okay…let me wrap this up (finally) with a couple of things…

First, this whole ‘Greater Evil’ thing is gonna drive me nuts. I know that’s what it’s supposed to do…still.

Second, who’s giving Jeremy & Matt acting lessons…is the hunter THAT gullible? Did he really believe that Jer would have no idea where to find a vamp? And Matt throwing Rebekah under the bus  was totally natural.

Third, Rebekah is an original. She drank (seemingly) just a little beer and started feeling the effects of the venom before Stefan & Elena had even left her yard. Elena is BRAND NEW and did a KEG STAND but still managed to leave, go on her really stupid joyride, get all into hot vampy foreplay (before cockblocking herself…again) and THEN starts to feel the effects? Come. On.

Okay…I think that’s really it. What say you? Love it? Hate it? Ready to show Connor the way to the Mystic Falls cemetery permanently? April…do I need to mention April?