You sure about this sandwich thing?

Here’s the deal peeps. I woke up with a bitch of a migraine so just like the Covert Affairs post this recap/reaction post will be written during post-drug-haze if that makes any sense to anyone! Hmm, there was a lot of “post” in that sentence wasn’t there?

More importantly though, how awesome is Hart of Dixie this season? It’s only been four episodes but they’ve been so deliciously  good! I feel like our little town is growing up! But without compromising any of the craziness, of course.

There were no armadillos in last night’s episode but there was a mention, though no sighting, of Burt Reynolds, pregnancy test, drunken misbehaviour, lion metaphors, aprons, and some owls. Never a dull moment in Bluebell, Alabama that’s for sure!

Actually there were so many good moments in this episode that I don’t even know how I’m going to be able to do all of them justice!

First of all, I’m so sorry but there was very limited shirtless Wade to be had this time around…

BUT any episode that opens with Wade and Zoe doing the horizontal tango sure is a good one!

On to the sexy hobos on the train…

The re-decoration of Zoe’s little house is taking some time ’cause Wade can’t seem to keep his pants on. Doesn’t look like the good doc minds this one little bit! But then again she’s not a doctor but a naughty nurse having dirty sex with an air force pilot underneath a table because of the bombs. Totally understandable.

How adorable are Zoe and Wade and their little role playing games?

While Zoe is busy pretending she’s all for casual sex, in fact it’s AH-mazing, Brick and Magnolia are busy pretending they absolutely love Lemon’s new housing situation and that they totally don’t miss her at home ONE LITTLE BIT. Yes, Lemon is indeed living on Annabeth’s boat! So homey!

Talk about homey. Lavon and that adorable apron. Seriously you guys! And pancakes! Double win! But Lavon is not in the mood to hear anything about his two best buds and their athletic pursuits. Nononononono! Bet he can’t look at that syrup again without his mind wandering into danger land!

My favourite moment of the episode: The Compliment Sandwich.

Again, Georgie boy has gotten himself entangled and he doesn’t know how to get himself loose. See, Shelby, the little doll in the pink dress from last week’s disastrous dinner date, is filling Georgie’s sensitive ears with lots of babble about online discount shopping. And she wants him to meet up with her grandma for brunch. Girl needs to slow down!

In swoops Wade, the expert on women. Wait, what?

Wade suggests George go the way of The Complement Sandwich, a crafty technique guaranteed to free you from any unnecessary entanglement! All you have to do is add bread-compliment, meat-compliment, bread-compliment and we’re breaking up. Foolproof, right?

I have my doubts on this one…

Meanwhile, Ruby fakes a cancer scare so she can get some quality time with Zoe, who, being a competent doctor, sees through that BS immediately. But they have some fluffy girl talk, ’cause we all know that Zoe totally needs that even though Lavon is the Yoda of Bluebell. Ruby (whom we have all learned to hate) suggests that since Zoe is so casual about Wade she should meet up with cousin Zack (and we all hate Ruby just a little bit more). Our girl doesn’t get tricked into this ’cause we all she’s really not the casual type of gal anyways.

Instead, Zoe goes home and dresses up as a sexy doctor! The doctor is in bitches! A reference to that awesome rap song Wilson Bethel wrote for Rachel Bilson earlier this year?

But oh no, Wade has a blonde over! And a sock on the door (classy)! We all know how that story usually ends.

I felt really sorry for Zoe there and then! She looked heartbroken. And a tiny bit of hate on Wade until I rationalise that no way in hell Wade would do that to Zoe! And the title of the episode was suspicious minds so…ya know.

This whole jealousy thing did lead do some seriously awesome lion metaphors the morning after though! Yo Simba! How about a little heads up if there’s gonna be a hot new lioness in the den when Nala comes home!

Poor Lavon. He didn’t see that one coming!

All of this of course ends up with Zoe agreeing to go on a date with Ruby’s cousin, but after a failed attempt at making Wade super jealous of the whole thing (and trying to do so while half-stripping) she decides to move that location of the date to the Rammer Jammer. ‘Cause that’s the mature thing to do. And we all know just how well Zoe does dates…

During all of this scheming and jealousy making, Lemon is hell-bent on a great campaign for Lavon, organising a me(a)t and greet (get it) and getting him the coveted support of the owl club. Anyone else have an image of Lavon, the apron, and the cooing seared into their brain?

Of course evil Ruby steals Lemon’s brilliant idea ’cause you know what they say: if you don’t have ideas of your own, at least steal from the best. Snap! Pitching Lemon and Ruby trading barbs is just the best.

During all of this we discover that a pasty look combined with drinking lots of ginger ale must mean that you’re pregnant. Were y’all in on this secret ’cause I sure as hell wasn’t! In any case, Lemon has been feeling a bit queasy but blows it off as a case of the circus tummy until Cricket points out the power of the ginger ale.

In ultimate panic mode, Lemon picks up a copy of a magazine listing the nightmares of single moms while her whole future stretches before her. I have to assume that the panic is what drives Lemon to steal that pregnancy test in the Dixie Stop. It probably would have been a wee bit smarter move to drive to Mobile for that, am I right? But fear not, Lavon to the rescue! Nothing to worry about, it’s just poor ol’ Burt Reynolds, he could be a she and in need of some good ol’ fashioned pee on a stick to confirm it!

Lavon wins this episode.

Of course Lemon is not preggers and I’m so glad the writers didn’t go there because I really love independent Lemon! And I feel Lemon and George need to mature before they eventually get back together (I’m certain this is the endgame). The two of them had a nice, mature conversation about the whole thing in which George is wise enough to realise that Lemon is in fact sea sick (hilarious) and Lemon is wise enough to tell George to stop being such a wuss (I mean, not in those exact words but that’s totally what I heard).

Aaaand, jumping back to Zoe. She really, really, really shouldn’t date! I mean, seriously girl!

Hoping to spark some major jealousy issues with Wade, Zoe acts like a moron during her date, downing the white wine glasses like she’s parched after a long walk in the desert. This of course leads to that awkward moment where she blurts out a) that she’s jealous…in front of Wade and b) that Lavon has been arrested for shop-lifting…in front of Ruby. Dear Zoe, you sure know how to party!

This all leads to Lavon being the Thief in Chief and spread all over the Bluebell Gazette. And no-one comes to his meet and greet! Until Lemon confesses her involvement in the whole scandal. It’s probably the biggest scandal to rock Bluebell since, well, come to think of it the wedding fiasco. So, obviously not that far between juicy scandals in Bluebell!

As predicted, George’s use of The Sandwich Complement did not go down very well. In the end though he somehow blurts it all out, in a chaotic mix of insults and compliments that lead to a big slap! The toothpick in the sandwich, something which dear old Wade forgot to mention. I for one am not sad to see Shelby go!

Now, no hate on Zoe for blurting out the shop-lifting thing! Unlike last season I felt she was genuinely sorry for that and she apologised to Lavon and felt horrible about the whole thing. She gets points for that even though she managed to blame Lavon for her outburst because he won’t listen to her talk about Wade related stuff. I think those two have an understanding and it works.

Let’s love Zoe for wising up and being mature about the whole Wade thing even though it happened a tad little too late perhaps! But that moment, when Zoe knocks on Wade’s door and informs him that she’s really not the casual kind of girl and would he be so kind as to be monogamous while they’re playing sexy hobos on a train? The mega-watt smile Wade gives her is enough for a girl to melt into a puddle on the floor! Our kids are growing up. Together! Awww!

Okay, I’ve really only mentioned like half of the crazy stuff that went down in this episode! So much goodness!

An honourable mention to Brick and Magnolia who were without a doubt the greatest comedic relief of last night’s episode! I think all the best lines of the night came from the conversation between those two while they were struggling to figure out how exactly to get by without Lemon organising and taking care of everything. Purple shirts, bad dinner, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast…oh my dear.

In fact, I can’t even begin to find only two lines from this episode that deserve a mention so y’all will have a harder selection this time around. Which one was your fave? Any of the one’s I’m listing here below?

*Daddy? Are we gonna die? -Magnolia realising just how helpless they are without Lemon to do the laundry and the shopping!

*I got the sandwich backwards! -George realising he sucks at break-ups!

*Burt Reynolds is a girl? -Wade just before he realises what the heck is really going on!

*Rocking the cas…bah! -Zoe trying to act all nonchalant about sex

*Yo Simba! How about a little heads up if there’s gonna be a hot new lioness in the den when Nala comes home! -Zoe & the lions!

*Independence blows! -Magnolia wanting her Lemon servant back!

Okay, this is getting way too long! Hope it wasn’t too much rambling! I blame the migraine drugs, makes it hard to keep your train of thought! Sound off in the comments peeps! I want to know what you thought of last night’s hilarities!

Next week: HALLOWEEN themed episode! I’m so irrationally excited for this!