Though it could be argued that the entire point of New Girl is to comment on adult friendship and what that means and looks like, last night’s episode, “Models,” was very explicitly about examining—and questioning—friendships.

For Jess, her friendship with Cece comes into question when she spends Cece’s birthday out at a club with Cece’s model friends, and Cece overhears Jess telling the models that she doesn’t understand why Cece would want to go to a club and be a model. So naturally they have a boob slapping fight and then have a friend break-up. (They get over it.)

For Nick, he starts thinking about his friendship with Schmidt—who bought Nick a cookie out of the goodness of his heart because he saw the cookie and thought of Nick—and whether or not they should be friends. Nick is concerned that Schmidt loves him too much, and that he doesn’t know how to deal with the sort of unconditional friendship that Schmidt offers Nick because, as we find out, Nick is basically the soulless asshole of the apartment who refuses to say good night to Winston and is completely ungrateful toward all of the things that Schmidt does for him.

So Nick and Jess come together, and pontificate about whether or not they would be friends with their friends if they met them today, instead of in childhood/college. They decide that, hmm, maybe not, but it doesn’t matter because they *are* friends with them, and that’s the important part. Also, Jess realizes that modeling is harder than it seems. Everyone learns a lesson!

And all of that just made this episode sound much more sentimental and cheesy and Brady Bunchy than it really was. As per usual this season, Jake Johnson was fucking awesome and hilarious and perfect. And Winston had some things to do, too! I really think Winston is becoming the Xander of New Girl—he’s around for a different sort of comic relief and to make really big points to the other characters about their flaws/shortcomings/ridiculous emotional shit.

But perhaps the most important thing this episode did: reminded us all that Brian Austin Green—who, may I remind you, is now married to the holy hotness that is Megan Fox—once had a rap career.

Other Things

• I find it completely hysterical that Nick has JUST NOW figured out that there are different types of turtles. And also that he wants a pet turtle. NAMED JESS. (He apparently decided on this name for his pet turtle before he met Jess.) And, you guys, the whole thing about Schmidt being Nick’s turtle totally weirded me out. I probably overthought it, and that’s why it weirded me out, but . . . c’mon. Schmidt is Nick’s turtle, who would be named Jess if Nick had his way. TOTALLY WEIRD, RIGHT?!
• Um. Is that really a Russian cracker ad? Or is it made up? Because if it’s real . . . O_O
• I love how great this show is about the characters fighting. I know that’s a weird thing to fixate on, but the fights are always so spot on and great. And sort of expositionally poignant. Like, seriously, these writers pack A TON of exposition into the fights. It’s kind of incredible.
• When Jess yelled “It’s happening!” and fell out of the car. That was solid continuity.
• SCHMIDT/NICK ORIGIN STORY!!!! They met freshman year when Nick had a mustache and Schmidt was fat. They were fast friends. And the Napster poster/sticker thing in Nick’s dorm room? Perfection.

Quotables

“I wish I had a stepbrother to fall in love with.”—Young Cece, re: Paul Rudd in Clueless. SO SAY WE ALL.

“I’ve been like this since I was seven.”—Cece, re: her body

“I’m going for promising ballerina turned street walker.”—Jess, to the guys

Jess: “Is it obvious I’m not wearing underwear. Because it should be.”
Nick: “That makes two of us.”

“A ‘harrumph’ sounds like this: HARRUMPH.”—Nick

“You can’t just say ‘butt drinking’ and not explain what it is. It has two of my four things.”—Nick to Jess

“I’ve got two perfectly good forks on the end of my arms.”—Nick, as he grabs cake and shoves it in his mouth

So there you have it. Please do be a darling, and tell me all of your giddy thoughts and feelings and favorite quotes and GIFs and dirty thoughts about Nick in the comments.