I really want to love this show. You know I do. I’m just not totally there yet. It has some really fantastic moments and then some “OMG what am I watching” moments…the thing is, it’s not just about this show…it’s kind of about me being a hypocrite/jackass and not giving the show a break when it comes to those “Okay that could NEVER happen!” moments. I just have issues with every show/movie I see where people are outrunning machinegun fire.

Look, my favourite guilty pleasure show is The Vampire Diaries…which, I shouldn’t even have to say it’s a “guilty pleasure” like it’s something to be embarrassed about ‘cuz it’s a really great, well written, amazingly acted show, but I digress, the point is: it’s clear I’m not looking for total realism from my shows. It’s just that one of the things I kept reading about Arrow was that it’s not a typical superhero with super powers show…just a man with heightened skills. Or something to that effect. So, I can totally buy into the crazy ass, extreme parkour of it all and the amazing fight scenes and the fantastic strength and accuracy with which he’s able to throw butter knives…I’ll just never buy into the outrunning machine guns thing.

Okay, let me get on with this…

The opening fight scene brings us this week’s #Amellyfact directly from Stephen (yeah, I totally used a hashtag in blog post…it’s not illegal). “The punch to the head with the bow at the end of the first fight was my idea.” He went on to say it would make sense when I saw it & it (obviously) did. And, for the record, can I just say that my “I’m not sure I’m 100% in love with the show yet” thing does not extend to the fight scenes. I love the fight scenes. So much. Almost as much as the workout scenes. I’m not sure what that says about me. Please feel free to tell me in the comments…I can take it.

• Love the Kardashian mention…even though it makes me go to that dark place within that just wants to rant about why the fuck they’re famous anyway.
• Watching Oliver talk to the judge while reinstating his alive & well-ish status…my mom: “He’s so handsome! Good God he’s got a beautiful mouth…those lips…!!!” Which made me go from, “Yeah Ma, he’s aiiight.” (not my exact words) to “Okay, Mom…you’re totally creeping me out. Stop looking at his mouth like that.”
• And then, all that looking at his mouth made me think back to the opening of the show and long haired, full bearded, flashback Oliver’s lips…there’s something on them. Are they just super chapped from exposure/dehydration or is it coconut crumbs? I assume coconut ‘cuz he’s on an island and I’ve watched a LOT of Survivor.
• Laurel’s “this is my ex-boyfriend, who’s been on an island for 5 years and was sleeping with my sister before that” mini tirade was brilliant. At least Oliver had the decency to look a little bit scolded. Or was that him remembering sleeping with Sarah?
• WORKOUT SCENE!!!! That whole climbing up the rope thing was super impressive strength wise but still paled in comparison to the salmon ladder and its visual appeal. I’m speaking strictly from a technical standpoint and from the perspective of what really works on TV. And stuff.
• I seriously love that Oliver implies, to his MOTHER, that he’s out whoring it up when he ditches Dig…as in, literally paying for it seeing as he makes it clear that they’re not even at the exchanging first names stage…and then Moira suggests he should take Dig with him next time. ‘Cuz that wouldn’t be awkward at all. Though I’m not entirely certain the girl would mind…I’m sure she’d let anybody watch for a price. Not that I know…I’m just guessing. Anyway, that’s all moot ‘cuz WE know that’s not really what he’s doing. Though, after 5 years on an island, I totally wouldn’t blame him. Or judge him. At all.
• YOU GUYS!!! Moira totally went to the Damon Salvatore School of Crazy Eyes Acting where opening your eyes as wide as possible means “I REALLY mean what I’m saying right now so you better take me seriously!!!!”
• Wouldn’t this Detective Lance investigating the Martin Somers thing be a bit of a conflict of interest? Is he the only cop in town? And what kind of detective takes evidence out of the bag and touches it all over the place without gloves? Has he never watched an episode of CSI: Any City?
• See!!! Somers agrees that this is totally a conflict of interest. I’m not sure it’s a good thing that I’m on the same page as the criminal in this scene. And then…he totally goes on to threaten the Detective but all Lance does is stay quiet and walk away…??? Come. On. no detective would do that. None.
• Which part is difficult, Walter?  “…everyone fantasizing that I got my MBA while I was on the island?” I mean, c’mon Oliver…it’s not that much of a stretch, is it? You learned how to make deadly weapons there and took some serious fitness classes and leaned how to speak Russian (and Chinese, we’ll learn later) there so it’s not inconceivable that they’d also offer business courses to those overachieving, double (or triple) major castaway types. Right?
• I do not like this whole “Get away! Stop eating my father!” scene. Seeing Amell even pretend to puke is not something I ever needed to see. Unless we were hanging out one night and he needed me to hold his hair out of the way or rub his back or something. That’d be different.
• Well, hey there, Kelly Hu!!! Remember when you were on TVD and you totally dug your fingers in and gouged out my Damon’s eyes?? I’m still a little mad at that. So, even though you eventually won me over with your love for Anna, I’m going to have to ask you to be on your best behaviour lest you find yourself back on my hit list. (my hit list is totally figurative…it’s nothing like Oliver’s hit list…just so we’re clear)
• Thea pushing Oliver’s shirt off seems a little inappropriate to me…mind you, I don’t have an older brother with those abs…that back…maybe in that case it’s okay?
• Thea telling her brother that he’s gonna have to let somebody in is a great idea. Hey, here’s another one…has anyone suggested that Ollie see a therapist who specializes in PTSD? I’d imagine they could help.
• This whole “the one thing I thought about on the island everyday & I knew if I ever got that chance again I’d want to do it with you”…the ice cream is totally a euphemism for sex right? Right!?
• Okay, now that I’ve watched this scene a few times to make sure I was right…I need to know why Oliver had a butter knife on the coffee table beside the ice cream…who the fuck eats ice cream with a butter knife?? Laurel’s a lawyer & has a great apartment…you can’t tell me she doesn’t have a full set of flatware. Did the island make him forget about spoons altogether? That’s it. He came back from the island with a rare case of memory loss that only effects the knowledge of cutlery and its proper uses.
• Jesus, Dig…once you’ve ascertained that Mr. Queen & Ms. Lance are okay, you should probably get on with the job of finding out where the assassin has run off to instead of staying there for an extra minute to make sure that Oliver knows “This is why it’s a good idea to have a bodyguard!”…China White’s not going to hang around waiting for you to get your dig (ha! I’m a nerd) in.
• Det. Lance: “Well that’s dirty, using me against me. You can’t do that.” That’s not really a rule, right? ‘Cuz to me, it seems like the best way to get your point across.
• Drunk Oliver at the ground breaking/memorial thing for his Dad is, to me, the best part of this whole episode. This is my favourite Oliver. He seems the most real, it comes across as the most natural…which is kinda funny ‘cuz, I’m not entirely certain but, while I was watching I had the thought that Ollie wasn’t really drunk there…he was just acting it. Anyway, whether he was or wasn’t plastered…he was the best. Even if he DID leave on a sour “leave me the fuck alone” note. Maybe beCAUSE he left on that note.
• Wait. If Oliver found the little book with the obviously, eventually significant logo after his father was dead and the book, seemingly, had nothing but blank pages…where did he get the names?

Okay…final thoughts:

• This is random but, is it just me or does Laurel seem a little young to be fighting all these high profile public cases? How old are they supposed to be? Is it totally ageist of me to wonder about this?
• Did we just get our first glimpse of Ollie’s predecessor/archery tutor? Where are my comic book people? Does that guy have a name? Do I want to know? Is it spoiler-y? Should I just wait and see?
• I’m still not crazy about the Laurel/Tommy dynamic. Maybe ‘cuz I’m not supposed to be? I don’t know. I just don’t like it.
• I also don’t love Moira but the whole aspect of her being involved in all this shit & dropping little bombs at the ends of the episodes is definitely intriguing…will that become the norm?

What’d you think? Did you love it? Hate it? Are you indifferent? Chat about it in the comments or yell at me on Twitter if you want…I’m there a lot. (@erintalkscrap)

I know I’m still holding back my proclamation of 100% true love of the show but that doesn’t mean that I’m not excited about next week. I totally am. I just hope there aren’t any machine guns next week.