Apparently it takes a lot of marshmallows to get any nutritional value but that doesn’t stop Zoe Hart from diving head-first into that spongy softness! I would have headed for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s myself. Because girl’s got problems. Obviously. I mean, great sex with Wade…yeah, life IS hard when you’re Zoe Hart. And you can’t find your pants.
Hart of Dixie did us all a favour and opened last night’s episode with Wade and Zoe all steamy and satisfied. Seems like the good doctor has improved her techniques or at least practiced really, really hard! But Zoe’s never, ever, never gonna go down that road again. Like EVER! Seems like thou protests a bit much my dear girl!
Maybe Zoe’s been listening to this song on repeat?
Living in denial land brings on some hilarity though when Zoe and Wade bet each other a hundred dollars that Zoe can’t hold out on sex with Wade for 24 hours. What’s a girl to do anyways since Lavon refuses to exercise his rights as a landlord and ban sex between tenants?
The good doc’s resolution is, however, not helped in any way when Wade insists on going what seems everywhere without a shirt on! Pop over to Lavon’s shirtless, answer the door shirtless, fix the car shirtless…
Maybe it’s perpetual laundry day at casa de Kinsella?
In any case, Zoe seems to have difficulty keeping her pants on. No, seriously. The walk of shame in high heels and a flimsy t-shirt and then falling into some bushes? A golden moment! Especially when Rose (yay, Rose is back y’all!) calls her out on it! It seems that going out running in this outfit is the newest trend and Zoe totally has to keep on top of all exercise trends. Because she’s a doctor, you know. Exercise is so important y’all!
And Wade in the background waving the pants from his porch? Priceless.
Turns out Rose has moved away from Japanese anime and has turned all indie instead and there’s this girl who’s going to Austin to see Black Keys in concert and that won’t do because then she’ll have a band t-shirt and be all cool at school and Rose will lose her status as the resident indie girl unless she throws a super successful indie concert in Bluebell and this is a problem! Which means Zoe has to fix things! And for that she’s gonna need Wade’s help.
Those 24 hours seem mighty long when Wade answers the door shirtless, don’t they Zoe?
And then there’s a ROAD TRIP!
Zoe scores herself a car (I suppose it’s Lavon’s unless she has a magic car wand hidden somewhere in the bushes) to head up to Mobile to score herself an indie singer for Rose’s Bluebellapalooza. And takes Wade with her because, naturally, he used to play (and hook up) with the famous indie singer (and hypochondriac) Lily Ann.
Wade’s hellbent on winning the bet so he turns on Kip Moore’s Up All Night in the hopes of some horizontal mambo in the backseat and Zoe ALMOST caves in. Our girl is smart though and bursts Wade’s bubble by adding Rose to the road trip. I think Lavon had it right when he wondered if Zoe couldn’t possibly ask Wade a question without falling into bed with him! Home girl really can’t resist her hunky neighbour.
As it turns out, Lily Ann hates Wade’s guts: You disgust me, You disgust me, You disgust me, ohohohohohhohhohho… And if Zoe needs any instructions on how to run far, far away from Wade then she can get them in the song Run From Wade.
Incidentally, I’m super sad we don’t get to hear that song! I’ll just have to make do with Wade and George washing cars instead.
Anyway, Zoe tells Wade to man up and apologize and Wade being Wade sees an opportunity to arouse some jealousy in the doc by doing just that and adding some flirting to it.
Now, knowing Wade I think we can agree on that he’s not mean-spirited so he doesn’t do all the stupid shit he does because he’s trying to hurt Zoe. He knows he’s competing with George in Zoe’s heart and instead of going the puppy dog way (which isn’t his style at all) he pushes Zoe’s buttons. He’s already put up a giant brick wall when it comes to emotions and Zoe because of the George situation but if Wade continues to push Zoe like that? Not sure the good doctor is willing to take that forever. At some point Wade HAS to grow up a little bit!
Speaking about George; he and Wade made up after their fight and traded fishing tips. Of course George’s fish and Wade’s fish were not the same fish by any means. There’s a fish and there’s a fish. Confused? I think those two were for a split second there!
In any case, Wade wants George to get back in the saddle and have some wholesome sex with strangers. Is this for George’s benefit or Wade’s? I honestly don’t think Wade had George’s best interest at heart when he suggested this. I think it had more to do with wanting to create a bigger gap between Georgie boy and Zoe so Wade’ll have her all to himself. Can’t fault the man for that!
At first I suspected Wade of setting the whole “lonely girl just broke up with her boyfriend and is now sitting at the bar with a purse in her lap while drowning her sorrows in a glass of Chardonnay but will get up and dance to song C7 on the jukebox and then have sex” up but seems like this shit actually works! George was as shocked as I was at this revelation! Of course George screws everything up when he goes to comfort poor Lemon who just accidentally tried to kill her daddy’s new squeeze by serving her seafood gumbo (she’s just a tiny little bit allergic).
You see, Lemon is like the WORST waitress in the history of the Rammer Jammer. And this even though she irons her lemon apron and everything! All of this also seems to be ruining Magnolia’s life because goodness me, WORK? Hell no! Think about the Breeland family reputation!
Hell, I like this new independent Lemon! She’s determined to prove her worth in the world and to become something other than an extension of her father or George. Go Lemon! I don’t see her becoming the clinic’s receptionist though, I’m still hoping she’ll go on to do something amazing, like setting up her own company or something!
Meanwhile, there’s trouble in Mayor Hayes paradise when he’s informed that Bluebell is no longer on Southern Living’s Top 100 Places to Visit. And this even though there’s a whole women’s volley-ball team coming into town. Obviously Lavon has some explaining to do to his constituency. Especially now that Ruby has decided to challenge him in the upcoming mayoral election!
She really was cooking up some diabolical plan!
After all this rambling…where were we? Oh yes, Wade and Zoe sitting in a tree…or not.
Zoe has some problems to deal with. Even if I don’t particularly care for George I can still see how Zoe is having a hard time deciding what she wants. I don’t think it makes her selfish. Her comment to Rose’s hope of a future where she’s all grown-up and knows exactly who she is and what she wants…yeah, we’re all 15 at heart!
If I had to chose between Wilson Bethel and Scott Porter? Could I just have both with a cherry on the top?
Anywho! Zoe is super confused about all of this, she has feelings for two guys and she can’t figure out her own feelings. I’d say she’s in the same place as George was in last season when he had feelings for both Lemon and Zoe. Or Lemon who had feelings for Lavon and George.
This is what happens when you have a whole town filled with good-looking people. Disaster!
And that little convo between Lemon and George? I don’t think those two are completely dunzo yet. They’ll go out into the world and find themselves and grow as people and then they’ll get back together ’cause 15 years together isn’t something to sneeze at.
I’m feeling really philosophical and shit today!
Alas, in the end all we can do is to re-watch Wade and George rocking the Bluebellapalooza stage. ‘Cause it makes us feel good. And hot. And bothered.
I’ll be in my bunker.
Bits and bops and humorous instances:
*Lemon’s little zinger aimed at George: “I have to go marry the ketchups. Maybe they’ll go through with it.” Awesome.
*Imagining Lavon in a roller rink…can we please have a flash-back scene?
*Did anyone not see the “Ruby wants to become the next mayor” plot coming?
*Rose’s: Gotta go tweet this!
*Zoe’s red dress…can I haz one?
*Where’s Shelley? What happened to her? I like her way better than I do Wanda.
*Wade and George and the groupies…need I say more?
*Magnolia’s pink cowboy boots and pink guitar…seriously, where do I buy this? WHERE?
Next week: George goes on a date, Zoe has issues, Lavon and Lemon share a nemesis, and Wade will probably be shirtless at some point. Good times ahead!
p.s. I’m quite the newbie when it comes to making gifs so I haven’t quite figured out yet how to put text in but bear with me, it’ll come!